Chapter 43

The events of the Lupin house weren't going to destroy Bea's summer, she really wasn't going to allow that to happen. She would be seeing James and the boys soon, Bertie in a few weeks and she had Remus to keep her happy and no matter the pained look on her father's face whenever he was met with the sight of her, she wasn't going to let it bother her.

It was very clear that Lyall wished to apologise to her, very evident that whenever she was in a room and the silence between them was aching, he wished to speak and finally own up to the mistakes she had to live with for so many years.

Currently, she was in the kitchen baking whilst Hope read in the garden and Remus sat at the kitchen counter writing and re-writing a letter addressed to Sirius in which he wished to tell the boy how much he was missing him and how he really felt.

He wished to tell the boy that he loved him.

"Just say, hey Sirius, what's up? Oh yeah fun fact, I love you!" Bea suggested as she stirred flour into the cake mixture she was making. She was an alright baker, learning from her mother who had taught her and Remus when they were younger and it stuck with her, she much preferred decorating the creations she made instead of going through the process of baking everything and then having to clean up afterwards.

But she enjoyed it nonetheless.

"I can't tell the boy I'm in love with oh, guess what I'm in love with you that casually!" Remus exclaimed with a groan, "Bea, what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Oh, don't even think about that - Remus, that is impossible!" Bea exclaimed, "Sirius loves you more than he loves his hair, actually he loves you more than he loves anything in this world!"

Remus sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair, "I don't want it to be completely cheesy...obviously. But I want it to be nice, y'know, something he'll be happy to read."

"You could write that you love chocolate and he'd be happy to read it," Bea chuckled. She sat down the bowl in her hand, making her way over to the second seat available for her to sit at and took the letter from his hand.

Dear Pad,

You know I'm really not good at expressing myself no matter how much you tell me it's alright I wanted to write this in a way to make you happy. I don't know how to tell you how I really feel because when I'm with you it's like a feeling more than happiness, it's complete euphoria.

"Make sure to send a dictionary too," Bea joked, earning a hard nudge from her brother whilst she let out a laugh.

I want to be with you every day, actually, every second of the day and I'm seriously counting down the days until I can kiss you again, and can be with you instead of having to write something like this.

I hate the thought of saying this over a letter but I've waited far too long and I just need for you to know that I am so completely in love with you, really, I can't wait to see you again and I know you're probably going to wind me up for this but right now, I really don't care.

I love you so much, and I always will.

Love, Remus.

"Well that'll certainly be an ego boost," Bea whispered, though her heart had swelled in her chest at how adorable her brother was, and with a pat on his cheek she spoke, "Remus this is a lovely letter, really, I don't know why you would think anything different because it's so cute! Sirius is going to love it, he'll love it so much and it'll just make him look forward to seeing you more than he already wants to. Remus, he loves you, you both love each other and this letter is just going to make Sirius realise just how much you really do love each other and that in itself is amazing."

"You always have a good idea on what to say," Remus chuckled, his cheeks slightly flustered and taking the letter back from her, "so I shouldn't rewrite it?"

"No!" Bea exclaimed, pulling the letter again and folding it into the envelope, "now would you like to wait and send this at the same time as I send James' or are you sending it now?"

"Well I would wait but you have been putting off that letter for two days!" Remus exclaimed, "come on, just write it, will you?"

"I don't know what to say," she sighed, fully dropping the subject and turning back to her baking. She had plenty of words she wished to say to the boy, of her love and how he made her happier than what she thought possible but she didn't know if cramming that into one letter was too soppy.

Well, she really didn't mind that, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to write it without getting incredibly sulky. She missed James far too much and just wished for him to be with her, she wished for him to walk through the door of her home and sit with her and laugh with her and kiss her but she knew that wasn't going to happen.

Thinking of him and their memories and Hogwarts made her want him even more and she hated that during summers they weren't with each other constantly because it was so odd. There were times that Remus would be his clumsy self, or she would read something in a new book and just wished to spill her thoughts to him and he wasn't there to do that.

And don't even mention Violet.

It was still an ache within her that they weren't talking, she knew the girl needed her space but she wished most of all just to write to her or talk to her and to see a letter written back or for her to visit when her friends were.

She had said it countlessly and thought it countlessly and hoped for it, but all she wanted was her best friend back. All she wanted was Violet to be herself again and laugh with her and push their differences aside. Bea wished that she could feel the same way, but she simply just couldn't, she loved Violet more than anything but she wasn't in love with her.

That sort of love was reserved for James Potter.

"We should go for a walk," Remus announced, leaving the letter on the table and taking the bowl from Bea's grip. She went to protest but he clasped his hand over her mouth, "we aren't staying in all day, Bea! We need to go out and get some air, bloody hell."

"What, should we go into town?" she asked, her head tilted and a frown on their lips. She wished they had more time to plan an outing into their town but Remus shook his head anyway.

"I was thinking we could go over the fields way?" he asked, and with a smile, she nodded. She pulled off the apron she was wearing, covering over the cake batter she would use later with a towel and the two were off.

The summer months were always lovely and Bea loved the flowers on their path. She wasn't sure if it was her bee side popping out but she loved to be amongst the flowers in her garden and as they walked to the field, she was getting much more excited, knowing that the flowers that bloomed in the field would be there for her to bask in.

"So, I take it Violet hasn't said anything to you?" asked Remus as he climbed the fence and Bea followed behind him. The field was off limits to kids and teenagers because of an incident with a beehive years ago, two boys thought it funny to disrupt the bees that lived in a large hive hanging from a tree and as they punched and kicked it, both of them ended up in hospital from so many stings.

One of them almost died but the doctors managed to prevent it. Upon hearing this, Bea was rather disappointed, it served them right for disrupting innocent animals home, they should've been jailed, in her opinion.

"Nope," Bea mumbled, shoving her hands into the pocket of her yellow cardigan that flowed in the small breeze. She jumped down, almost falling into a puddle if it wasn't for Remus who stuck out his arm almost instantly. It wasn't new for the two Lupin siblings to go exploring during the summer, they were used to it and seeing as they were both clumsy somehow, they knew when to help each other out, "kind of pissing me off if I'm honest."

"Well you have every right to be pissed off, in my opinion," Remus nodded, shoving the hands into his pockets whilst Bea hurried to keep up with him. With his much longer legs he was able to take longer strides through the field of flowers whilst Bea had to jog with her little legs to keep up, "of course she's very conflicted and it must bloody hurt to be in her position and I love Vi, I really do, but she is thinking of herself and just herself. It's as though she hasn't really looked at your side of things, she doesn't see that you're hurting just as much - if not more than she is."

"I just don't know what else to do," Bea whispered sadly, "I tried for weeks before we ended for summer for her to talk to me and she didn't and she didn't even speak a word, she just ignored me. I wasn't going down without a fight but she didn't even try to push what happened behind her.

She knew I wasn't mad at her, and I'm still not mad I'm just frustrated. I just want my best friend back, I wish I could feel how she does, and more so I wish she didn't feel like this because I can't feel the same back and that hurts me. I love her and I don't want her to feel so hurt especially when I'm unintentionally causing it but all I want is her back."

"How many people have told you to give it time?"

"A lot."

"True. Well, as your best friend and big brother I say that she has had plenty of time and she will definitely send a letter soon," Remus reassured, patting her shoulder, "you could always invite her to join us, just to know that she isn't isolated and we all love her because we all do."

"I think I will," Bea nodded, falling to the ground beneath one of the large trees for shade, she pulled Remus down beside her, leaning her head on his shoulder whilst his lay on her head.

"You know I'm really proud of you, Bea," Remus smiled softly, patting her hand whilst she moved to look at him, "for this year, for sticking up to me and for sticking up to dad too. I heard to stuck up to the bullies and you have no idea how proud I am of that too."

"Thanks, Remus," she smiled widely, her heart swelling and her eyes shining with delight.

"You've grown so much confidence," he shakes his head whilst she reaches for his hand.

"You act as if you aren't part of the reason why," she grins, "I love you so much, Remus. What do you say when we go home we get a ton of food and blankets and watch some films?"

"Sounds brilliant," he grinned, "can we watch Disney?"

"Of course," Bea scoffed as though it was a dumb question, and for the Lupin siblings, it was, "y'know purebloods are really missing out if I'm honest, I bet James and Sirius and Peter haven't even seen a Disney film."

"Oh no, they have," Remus nodded, "I forced them to watch them all when they came last summer, James cried at Cinderella, when she had to run away from the ball and her slipper fell off."

"He did?!" Bea laughed loudly covering her mouth in order to muffle her giggles.

"Oh yes, but please don't tell him I told you that."