Chapter 25

"They come here all the time," Violet whispered, staring at the pained look on Remus face. The finally realization of what he was doing to his little sister as he watched through the tiniest crack in an almost closed door as she clung to the boy he called his best friend.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about the words she had spoken previously, the words of sadness and anger that she her brother was so mad, that the boy standing with his girlfriend was mad at her when it was so far from the truth.

Like most people who knew Bea, all he ever wanted was for her to be safe and free of danger. To be happy. And yet here she was crying out in pain as James held her in an empty classroom because she wasn't happy, she was so far from happy. But the only source of happiness she was getting was the boy her brother didn't want her to be with.

It sounded so stupid worded that way for her, that so much pain was caused because Remus said so. She wondered why she had let him control her life for so long. It was her life and she would do whatever the hell she pleased, she just wished that she had her brother back whilst she lived her life.

"You're not telling me something, Remus," Violet whispered, her voice barely audible but he was close enough to hear her. Close enough to hear the words he knew were coming for the longest time, and now that she had finally spoken them, he wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with what was to come.

She leads the way through corridor after corridor until she came upon a classroom of their own. The difference was that she knew the conversation they were about to have would be the farthest from pleasant.

Their classroom wasn't a place of relaxation, and a way from all things stopping them. Their classroom was a place of dread and a well needed conversation they both didn't want to have.

"We both know this isn't working," Violet whispered. Her hands on the desk whilst she heard the door close behind her. There was so many things the two needed to discuss, so many wrong doings and lies after lies spiralled into a relationship neither of them where happy in.

"Do we both have our reasons?" asked Remus, leaning against one of the desk with a frown on his lips. He could never deny that he cared for Violet, he really did. She was incredible and for a while he thought he liked her a lot, but he was keeping himself unhappy with her, because he didn't love her, he convinced himself that he could love her.

But he was playing with her feelings too.

He thought.

"For the longest time I've been living a lie," Violet spoke, unable to look him in the eye, "I told myself I loved you, I said I did. I said to everyone I did and merlin I've lived in this lie for so long that for a while I started to believe it.

I developed a crush on you, Remus, I did. I liked you for a while but it was all a lie, it was a lie I told back in second year because I scribbled something on a notebook and someone found out and then someone else did, and then it was just this thing that Violet liked Remus!

Violet liked her best friends brother! So, I continued to live in this lie and I even felt nervous telling Bea that I liked you and I don't know why because I didn't really like you, I just said I did. You're so amazing, Remus.

I can't deny that and I never would because I truly love you so much. I love you far too much to ever hurt you and I never wanted to, I didn't. But then the opportunity to have you came around and you were so down on yourself and I never wanted that to happen.

I'd lived this lie for so long maybe it could become real, so we kissed and it was good. You're a good kisser, Remus, bloody hell you have that going for you. But you can kiss someone and you don't feel anything, cause I never felt a thing, and that's not to say I don't love you Remus cause regardless of being in love with you, just being with you has made me realise just how amazing you are.

You're so bloody amazing and I can't live in this lie anymore because I know we're both hurting," she had forced herself to turn to him, seeing the look on his face.

Though it was a look she wasn't expecting, a look that she was positive was...relief.

"What did you write?" he asked. The relief on his features was clouding his mind because he did feel relieved, he felt relieved that he wasn't the only one to seem like a terrible person. He lied too, he had spiralled himself an intricate web of lies and in the middle, he met Violet's web.

"what?"

"In this notebook, what did you write?" he repeated, arms folded over his chest as he watched Violet's face fell.

"It was a notebook Bea got me actually," she wasn't changing the subject, rather giving herself some time before she had to admit the truth, something she had never let leave her lips, "she designed herself and gave me it for my birthday one year. It was my twelfth birthday and she gave me it in the great hall and these guys laughed at the notebook even though she was so excited to give me it.

She had been bouncing with excitement for weeks, going on and on about this gift that she wanted to give me, that she knew I would just love. I realised that the notebook was more her style, she drew flowers on it, all in yellow and some in pink with little green leaves and I still carry it in my bag everywhere I go.

I got detention for a week because I smacked their heads onto the table and they had to get an operation on their noses. It's my favourite present I've ever gotten, I love it and I only write down the most important things to me in that notebook because it's so special."

"You didn't answer my question."

She bit her lip, turning to Remus she finally spoke, "in one of the pages I was doodling in class, and I wasn't thinking. I wrote Violet Lupin surrounded by flowers and little hearts."

"Violet Lupin, as in Remus Lupin-"

"And Phoebe Lupin," Violet whispered quietly.

Remus finally came to the realization of what Violet was talking about, "it's not me you've liked for all these years...it's Bea!"

"Yes," she nodded, "and it's really hurts me to see her sad. The thing is, I know I will never have her because she will never like me, so all I want now is to know that she will be happy. She is my best friend, and she is the only person I have ever, and probably will ever be in love with and it kills me to see her so upset.

But Remus you are the one making her upset, and amidst our relationship I was making her upset too and that killed me! It really killed me because I'm not afraid anymore to admit that I'm so fucking in love with her.

But she is my best friend above all else, and James makes her happy, James makes her so happy so who would I be to ever step in between that?" she had tears in her eyes, welled over the waterline but she never wished to let them spill.

She was pacing the ground, the echo of her heels ringing around the empty classroom.

"That's my secret, Remus. But you haven't told me yours."

"Seems like we're both a bunch of liars, Vi," Remus whispered, running his hands over his face, "I heard that you apparently liked me in the hall one day when I was walking to class. I was bitter and annoyed cause I was walking with...I was walking with Sirius and he was yapping on about this girl he fancied.

It really pissed me off, and I didn't know why so I turned it around. I went on about you, actually, I mean everything I said was true because I can't deny that you're bloody brilliant, Vi, but I was pretending to like you.

I didn't like you that way but I knew you were great because of Bea.

A few months ago, Sirius was stung by a bee and it was pretty funny I suppose but then Bea showed up. She felt sorry for him, I mean it's Bea she would help anyone in a heartbeat so she got the bee sting out.

She used her lips, though, it was in his neck and she left a mark and I was fuming. I knew I was mad because of Bea, she's growing up but I'm still having a hard time wanting her too, I don't ever want her to grow up.

So, seeing her helping Sirius, completely innocently, mind you, it was horrible.

And he was teasing her like usual.

But what I realised was that I wasn't only annoyed because of this role as the protective brother, but I was annoyed because if any Lupin sibling were to kiss Sirius' neck.

Well I just wished that it would be me.

I said I liked you to make Sirius jealous and I know I shouldn't have and I shouldn't have done it but I just wanted to see if it would work. Every time he yapped on about some new girl I'd bring up you and that's why James said that in the hospital wing, cause when we all talked it would be me bringing up you and Sirius bringing up all these other girls.

I didn't even know I liked boys until this jealous bubbled in my stomach every time Sirius mentioned another girl. The thing is, there's no way Sirius would ever like me back and recently I've started to realise that.

Caught up in so many lies I just wished everything would be normal, I wish everything would fall into place and that it would be alright!" he exclaimed.

Violet took a step forward, and another, and one more until she was right in front of him. She wasn't mad at him, they were in a very similar position and he was still her friend. They had grown a lot closer in the time they were together, and she still cared for him.

So, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and he was quick to respond, "I'm sorry," she whispered quietly, "the only way things will be good again is if we stop messing with what should be. Bea and James are so good together and regardless of being protective, we both know that.

If someone said you could be with Sirius then you would take that chance, but what if Bea tried her best to stop it from happening?" asked Violet, looking at the boy who knew she was completely right.

"I hate the thought of her growing up," he whispered, "because it means she doesn't need me anymore. She didn't have my dad, she barely had my mum either. All she had was me and I tried my best to protect her as much as I could a-"

"You're doing all you can Remus, but stopping her from growing up is stopping her happiness. But that doesn't mean she doesn't need you!" Violet sighed.

"Why are you so set on getting her with James when you love her yourself?"

"Bea always puts everyone else's happiness before her own. It's just who she is," Violet sighed, "I love her far too much not to care for her happiness above all else. She deserves to be looked out for, and she has James for that too, but that doesn't stop me from being her best friend."

"You don't realise how brilliant you are, Vi," Remus sighed, kissing her forehead, "so does this mean we've broken up?"

"Well I don't think we could stay together," Violet trailed off, lifting her head to look at him, "it's the nicest break up I've ever had."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. But I wouldn't expect a bad break up with Remus 'I fold my socks' Lupin." She teased, finally earning a smile from the boy who pulled her back into him.

"You do realise we've fucked up, right?"

"Yep." She nodded, "we've fucked up pretty big."