[A/N this chapter contains scenes that some people may feel uncomfortable or might feel harmful reading. Read at your own risk.

It was very, very hard to write this chapter.]

Chapter 13

The small droplets of rain battered the window, caring of nothing, water fell like waves crashing on the shore, trailing down the cold window until it reached the bottom and disappeared from the girls' view. The rain drops matched the tear drops that rolled down her cheek, she was tucked into the comfort of a window seat when she walked down the stairs of the Gryffindor girl's dormitory early after a sleepover with Violet to see Remus reading a letter from her dad.

A letter she didn't receive.

She wished it didn't affect her, wished that her father's evident ignorance of his second child was able to go unnoticed but it was impossible, she was simply incapable of ignoring the hurt she felt, the sadness that ached her heart, it was hard for her not to get emotional because of it.

And with her silent treatment that loomed over Remus and James who she was still mad at, she felt as though she was completely alone. She would always have Violet no matter what, she loved the girl with all of her heart but it was Friday, and the girl was failing charms, and Bea forced her to go because it was much more important than her annoyance.

"Y'know, Remus is worried about you," Bea lifted her head, seeing Sirius leaning against the wall, a half smile on his lips which she forced herself to return, "James is too but the twat won't admit it - but I know something is going on with you two, don't even try to deny it."

"Shouldn't you be in class?" she asked, running a hand through her hair. It was terribly odd for Sirius to see the girl with tear stained cheeks and a frown evidently on her lips, it was the weirdest sight, like it shouldn't be there. She was the nicest, happiest girl to ever roam the halls of Hogwarts, with the hidden bullying she sometimes endured and the constant secret creeping over her shoulder, it was a surprise that she was happy in the first place, but she was, and a frown wasn't welcome on her face, even though it made itself right at home.

"Shouldn't you?" Sirius scoffed, moving closer to her and soon moving her legs so he could sit down, and quickly pulling her legs back over him, a wide grin on his lips directed to her whilst she merely rolled her eyes, returning to looking out at the heavy downpour of rain that was almost allowing the snow to disappear, "so...looking forward to Christmas?"

"Which one of them put you up to this?" asked Bea, finally turning to him once more, her eyebrow raised and a glare that matched his surprised look. He pushed him up, pushing his legs beside her whilst she grumbled under her breath about how much of an annoyance he was. He watched her head fall back onto the window, furiously wiping away her tears whilst he waited for her to talk to him.

"No one," he shook his head, "but when you walk out of the common room with the worst look on your face and don't show up to your first class, it's a bit worrying - and believe it or not Bea, but we're not exactly strangers."

"My dad doesn't like me," it took her almost three minutes to finally say it, to say the words she had never uttered before in her life, because she was absolutely terrified of the fact that her father didn't like her, at all, he blamed her for things that wasn't her fault, and didn't know things that she knew, that Remus knew.

"He hasn't since I was I four," she sighed, "I had just turned four, Remus had yet to turn five-"

"No," Sirius shook his head furiously, "this has to do with that night, doesn't it?"

She nodded silently, the tears burning her cheeks, "I've only told Violet," she mumbled, "but I suppose telling you isn't the worst thing in the world, you might understand why Remus is so protective."

"You don't need to-"

"I want to," she cut him off, taking a deep breath.

­-

"Goodnight, Bea," Lyall Lupin laughed softly, watching her frown from her bed, clutching the covers tightly whilst she watched her dad turn the light off, "I'll see you in the morning and we can make pancakes, alright?"

She finally let the smile fall onto her young face, nodding excitedly, "alright daddy, I love you."

"I love you Bea," he smiled, closing the door behind him. There was one thing Lyall Lupin forgot to do that night, something Bea was slowly growing out of but not quite yet.

Lyall Lupin forgot to check for monsters under her bed.

But it seemed that night was the only night a true monster was lurking.

He waited, silent under the clutter of her wooden bed, hearing her yawn and suspecting her eyes closing, he was filled with pain but this was a detour for him, the real victim was just next door, but he figured he would have some fun for himself.

When her soft breaths where heard around her room did he crawl out, he was barely human, he didn't care of her age, he was a vile, evil man who wished for some pleasure for himself, a disgusting excuse for anyone, Fenrir Greyback slowly climbed onto her bed.

His hot breath fanned her sleeping face, she was a deep sleeper, four years old dreaming about the flower field that she visited with her mother on the weekends, picking daisies for her brother who always wore them in his hair just because Bea got them for him.

She moved softly, a soft breath falling from her lips, she was trapped under the man who was pulling back the duvet, he didn't know her age, he knew she was young but his monstrous eyes didn't see it that way, he didn't see a young child with her whole life ahead of her, he didn't realise that this incident would always crawl into the corners of her mind when she was alone.

He didn't realise that he had affected her in the worst way.

But had he known, he wouldn't care.

He touched her, and clawed her, and kissed her in places a four year old young girl should never be kissed before, he brushed her skin, and held her close, and was so, so close to something more, something more than the harassment, something much more painful, much more traumatising, but she squirmed, and she moved.

She wasn't quite awake yet, he got a few more kisses to her skin in, smirking as he moved, almost getting away when he clawed her side, a large scratch from the top of her side to the bottom of her hip, and quickly he slid under her bed, hearing her stumble out of bed, knocking the post of her bed, shivering with fear.

She opened the door to her room, her long, sandy brown hair falling down her back, unaware of the eyes watching her from under her bed, hearing the faint pitter patter of her feet, Fenrir moved slowly, creeping into the hall whilst she turned the knob of her parent's bed room, and he made a detour to her brothers room.

She waddled over to her dad, to the man already sleeping soundly in his bed, oblivious to the events that had happened just moments ago. She patted his covers, shaking his shoulder, a look on her face that made Lyall instantly grab her, sitting her on his stomach, he whispered, "what's wrong, baby?"

"I-I had a bad dream, daddy," she whispered, squirming, feeling the pain in her side, "it was really scary!"

What Fenrir Greyback didn't know when he sneaked into Phoebe Lupin's room, was that the girl was very aware, very able to wake up, to stay silent, but she was so terrified, she thought it was a dream, she thought what happened to her was a dream, but she woke up just before she squirmed, and when the man was on top of her, she was able to see his face, see the horror of his features, the curve of his scars.

She was a very smart child at the best of times, but sometimes, the worst times, too. Like not screaming when there was a strange man in the same bed as her.

A man should never be in her bed.

"What happened?" asked Lyall, yawning, and suddenly jumping, holding her closely when he heard a bang coming from his son's room. he frowned, sitting Bea on his bed beside her and quickly jumping up.

"Daddy where are you going?!" she cried, pulling on her father's hand, "you always listen to my bad dreams!"

He felt horrible, torn, shaken to the core, a worry like no other pooling in his stomach, he turned to her, holding her in his arms, and quickly, he spoke, "tell me, baby, what happened?"

"Th-There was a man," she whispered, a shaky breath tumbling from her lips, "he was hurting me daddy," she didn't know what to say, she was barely making sense, she didn't truly know what happened to her but even at four years old was she completely uncomfortable with it, she felt horrible, and odd and she just wanted her parents.

She just wanted her parents.

"Phoebe- stop," Lyall snapped, looking down at the look on his daughter's features, she looked shocked...terrified, "I have to see what happened in Remus' room, okay?"

She frowned, "b-but you always listen to my dreams."

"Not tonight, sweetheart."

But even not staying till the end of Bea's dream, Lyall was too late, he had his wand, charms and curses, and hexes thrown the werewolves way weren't enough to stop him from biting his son, but he knew, Lyall Lupin knew that had he not listened to his daughter's dream, he would have stopped it.

He would have stopped Fenrir Greyback from biting his son.

He couldn't look at her the same after that.

And she never told him about that night.

But when she was nine years old, and Remus was ten, she finally mustered the courage to tell him what happened, she finally was able to say to him, tell him of the dream that didn't feel like a dream.

She described every feature on Fenrir Greyback's face, but had it truly been a dream then she wouldn't have been able to see him at all, as you can only dream of those you have seen before. The two learned of this when Remus spent months, almost a full year with Bea at a library, doing research upon research on dreams so vivid, and finally he found it in the last book.

It concluded their search, it concluded the fact that Phoebe Lupin didn't dream about Fenrir Greyback back when she was four, it truly happened, he truly snuck into her room, the scratch, the scar she still had trailing up her side was not from the post of her wooden bed, but from the claw of the man who hurt her.

"I will never, ever let anything or anyone touch ot hurt you again, Bea. I will keep you safe, I will protect you from everything, and that is a promise I will always keep," even away at Hogwarts for one year before her, Remus Lupin, even so young, had never broken that promise.

-

"Bea," Sirius whispered, reaching for her hand, he wiped the tears that spilled from her eyes, shock, anger, disgust, hatred for one man all running through his body, anger for her father too.

"I don't like sympathy."

"I don't know what it's like Bea, to feel that violated," he choked out, standing up and pulling her with her, she frowned at first but he threw his arms around her in the biggest hug that she couldn't help but relax into his arms. It was a bear hug like no other, that even though they could barely call themselves friends, he had vowed like her brother to protect her.

And he had.

"I don't know what It's like to feel that way," he mumbled softly, tightening his grip on the girl smaller than he was, "but I do know what it's like to have a dad, to have a family that doesn't love you. I can understand that much and I know how it feels...like you're surrounded by people and yet still so alone."

"Yes, exactly!" she squeaked, lifting her head to look at him, "that's exactly it!"

"My parents basically abandoned me when I was put into Gryffindor, they didn't care for me, called me a blood traitor," he shook his head, "I go back for my brother, he's in your year but I can't exactly say we have the best relationship. He practices their ideals, he's a total mother's boy, but I feel the need to protect him, to help him, but I just, it's a painful thing I never want to go through."

She couldn't help but wrap her arms around him even tighter than before, she had never truly realised, she was rather shocked actually, to find out that she had a lot in common with Sirius, that maybe he wasn't just the flirt that she knew him as but someone she could trust, someone she could relate to.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she mumbled, "I'm also, uh, sorry for getting out that bee sting."

He couldn't help but laugh, sitting down again with her to the side of him, she was trying her best to lighten the mood that had engulfed them, and it seemed to have worked, "yes but you did sting me in the first place, Bea."

"I forgot that you knew about that," she groaned, her head falling into her hands, "I didn't...sting you just so I could do that, you know that, right?"

He chuckled, "I don't know about that, it seems to much-"

"Oh shush," she whispered, a sigh falling from her lips before she whispered a few minutes later, "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we be friends?"

He smiled, nodding his head and reaching for her hand to squeeze comfortingly, "yeah, Bea, we can be friends."