The funeral sucked ass.

Dallon's parents had organised the funeral, and it sucked motherfucking ass.

For a start, Brendon wasn't even invited, and Dallon's cousin who he hated had concocted some sort of bullshit speech about how much Dallon would be missed.

They fucking spelt his name wrong on the invite too.

The funeral sucked ass.

Andy reckoned that leaving the funeral of your dead friend half way through was probably just about one of the most disrespectful things you could do, however Spencer had argued that there was absolutely nothing more disrespectful in this world that the goddamn funeral itself, and Joe had pointed out that it'd probably be disrespectful if they even continued to put up with this train wreck of an event, so with that the three boys left the church at four in the afternoon and headed off down the road.

Spencer was the first to undo his tie, having loathed every moment he'd felt frozen and restrained in such pointless formality, and especially pointless formality that he knew Dallon would never have cared for.

"This fucking sucks." He groaned, untucking his shirt, and taking a moment before just shrugging the suit jacket off his shoulders and onto the ground behind him.

"What's your mum going to say?" Joe asked, gesturing to the suit jacket on the floor, the three stopping for a moment to pay attention to the suit jacket now lying in a heap on the sidewalk.

Spencer shrugged. "I don't know." He was the first to start walking again, "I don't care," and with that, Andy chuckled, and the other two met his pace.

"This feels kind of wrong, that he gets no proper funeral, I mean." Andy pointed out, glancing to the other two as soon as the words had left his lips.

"I know it does, but what can we do about it?" Joe shrugged, shaking his head firmly, because fuck, Dallon did not deserve this at all. "This is just fucking unfair, I just... it's probably for the best Brendon wasn't invited to this fucking mess, because dear lord I-"

"I know what we can do." Spencer interrupted Joe midsentence, but not with a lack of a good reason, and with both pairs of eyes burning into him, he continued, "we can do the funeral ourselves - we can give him the funeral he deserves."

"We can't exactly go back in and steal his coffin, can we?" Andy's eyes widened as he even considered the notion of such an atrocity.

"We don't need to, it's like... it's the thought that counts, you know what I mean? I think Dallon can see this all from heaven or wherever the fuck he is right now, and he's most certainly going to care more for the good funeral held by his best friends than the shitty one with the people he hates but where his body just happens to be. And hey, you have to be pretty damn special to get two funerals, don't you?"

"Spencer Smith, you are a motherfucking genius!" And it that moment, Joe really could kiss him, but like, no homo.

"I know." His lips turned up into a grin.

"Where are we going to like hold it? And when and who are we going to invite?" Andy asked, leaving Joe to roll his eyes and pull his cellphone out of his suit jacket pocket.

"All of our friends: everyone who cares - they'll come, and it can be tonight, that bit of the park where no one goes, and we can have a cross with his name on to represent him or the coffin or whatever, and we can have people who actually care saying things they actually mean, and we can-"

"Joe, don't you think you're getting a little over excited over your friend's funeral?" Spencer raised one eyebrow and Joe just shook his head. "Anyway, what are people going to wear, like who the fuck owns a suit - this is my cousin's."

"People can just wear black: everyone's a fucking gay emo so it's not like getting people to turn up in black clothing is going to be all that hard to accomplish, is it?" Joe rolled his eyes and sent out a mass text kind of weird funeral invite thing. "Right okay, six in the evening, let's get to the park, let's get ready-"

"Tell people to bring alcohol, because I'm really going to need a drink with all the shit I've been through today." Spencer ran a hand back through his hair, cursing to himself, and trying not to break down sobbing in the middle of the street.

"Is that really respectful? Everyone just getting pissed at his funeral?" Andy asked, eyebrows raised slightly.

"Trust me, Dallon wouldn't have given a fuck, he just wants the people he cares about there, it's gonna look like the best fucking funeral in the world compared to the shit his parents are pulling." Spencer met Andy's gaze with a kind of sincerity that he didn't often radiate. "And it's not like his parents aren't going to be downing bottle after bottle of champagne as they chatter to their friends about how fucking tragic this all was."

"His parents didn't deserve him." Joe hadn't quite expected to speak aloud, but the breakdown between his word to thought barrier was now quite apparent. "Sure, he could have been an ass at times, but he was always such a nice guy, and I... I know his parents didn't give the vaguest remnant of a fuck half the time."

"It's not fair." Andy agreed, shaking his head.

"Nothing's ever fair." Spencer let out a sigh, checking his phone to see a message from his dealer, and responding, without a moment's thought, with a quick and simple 'not tonight', because Dallon was always worth so much more than some goddamn pills, and even someone in as deep as Spencer was knew that.

"God, I- fuck, I... why the fuck did he have to go off with Brendon?" Joe broke down within seconds: fragments of thoughts slowly connecting in his head like a circuit, until finally the bulb lit up and tears began streaming down his face. "Fuck, he doesn't- no it's not his fault, but fuck, I- I- he'd survived the overdose, and just with medication, he-"

"Joe, it's no one's fault, okay?" Andy stopped, pulling his friend into a hug, letting Joe fucking ruin his over priced shirt with his tears, because he knew for certain that his best fucking friend meant so much more to him that a suit his mum was going to scream at him for messing up.

"I know." Joe mumbled, pulling away. "It's just hard, sometimes."

"Of course it is." Spencer added, putting an arm around Joe. "Everything would be too easy otherwise, and where's the fun in that?"

"The fun?" Joe stared at him in disbelief.

"Oh, you know what I mean, look, if the funeral his parents had organised had never been shit, then we'd never get the opportunity to honour him in our own way - look for the good in the bad, if you know what I mean?"

"I really don't."

"Alright then, Mr 'Cup Half Empty'."

"Shut up."

-

Ryan could think of much better wastes of an afternoon as opposed to sitting by the shitty ass canal, but when it came to sitting by the shitty ass canal with Brendon Urie, he couldn't think of anything he could possibly want to do more.

Except perhaps Brendon Urie himself.

But that most certainly wasn't a thought that Ryan was going to vocalise, let alone admit to himself, because no matter what Joe Trohman told him earlier this week at seven in the morning, he was most certainly not going to let himself get back with Brendon.

After all, it hadn't worked out the first time, so why should this be any different?

But Ryan didn't quite get the time to lie to himself about the answer to that question before Brendon was speaking for the first time in at least twenty minutes.

"I wasn't even invited to the funeral, you know?"

Ryan nodded, unsure as to just what to say to this, because he'd quite honestly never heard Brendon's voice sound so raw and just hurt.

"His parents, when his was in hospital, well they put on this apologetic act, like they actually gave a shit all of a sudden, and it was kind of late, but better than nothing, I guess, but I never told him about the times they just told me to get the fuck out of there." Brendon's whole body began to shake a little as he continued. "They didn't like... the idea of us, and I just... I knew that once Dallon was out of hospital and one hundred percent in their control, I would never fucking see him again- it sounds selfish, but I... that's why I did what I did."

Ryan sat there in shell-shocked silence for a moment. "There's always more to everything with you, isn't there?"

Brendon shrugged it off, leaning just a little closer to Ryan. "I guess."

"You should tell people these things, you know? This is why people misjudge and misunderstand you, because they don't get the full picture, like they don't get your side of the story." Ryan blushed a little under Brendon's gaze, turning away in what was probably the least subtle gesture ever in a lacklustre effort to conceal his flushed pink cheeks.

Brendon waited a moment, deep in thought, before responding. "I told you." 

"You should tell other people, not just me, I'm not the fucking secret to everything, Brendon, look, I know you're not exactly a 'open' person, but, if you keep everything up inside you, it's really not going to bode well."

Brendon stopped for a moment, glancing out across the water, and in a rather gutsy move, taking Ryan's hand.

The milkier of the two stopped breathing for a just a moment, before squeezing Brendon's hand in reciprocation of the gesture, because this was just a comfort thing, wasn't it? Not everything had to be homo, did it?

"I tell Sarah things sometimes, and I told Dallon, but it's always you the most." Brendon admitted, not quite having the guts to meet Ryan's gaze as he spoke, so he settled upon watching the blood orange hues of the sunset claim the baby blue day skies.

"What's with that? Like you have to date someone to trust them properly?" Ryan found his gaze falling upon Brendon's in an unplanned and hasty move. "Best friends are a thing too, you know?"

"Relationships are like... more built on trust, you know, like 'I love you' means more than 'you're my best friend'- fuck, what would I know about trust in relationships?" Brendon pulled his hand away from Ryan's and the two sat in silence for a good few minutes, until Ryan spoke up with perhaps what Brendon would have least expected in the whole damn world.

"One mistake doesn't define who you are for your whole life, you know that, don't you?"

"It was a pretty big mistake-"

"Brendon, look, when you're thirty is it really going to matter that when you were a teenager you cheated on two people? No, no it's not, you'll probably be married to someone you love a lot by then, and you know what, you're gonna be happy, I promise you."

"You can't make that promise." Brendon shook his head the milkiest boy in the whole damn world.

"Fucking watch me, Brendon Urie." Ryan grabbed a stone from the gravel at the bank, and began to scratch on the paving stone the two were sat on, scoring the footpath by the canal with white scratching that read 'I promise. Ryan.'.

"Alright, what are you? A fucking fourteen year old girl?" Brendon scoffed, but didn't hesitate to take the stone from Ryan's hand and sign his own name below Ryan's.

"Says you." Ryan raised his eyebrows at the rather permanent mark on the paving stone, as Brendon threw the stone into the canal, watching it sink with a sigh. "Anything else you reckon you should tell me?"

"The real reason Gabe and I aren't on good terms anymore is because I... I had feelings for him, and well, Gabe's Gabe, and then William Beckett, and suddenly everything was about this 'perfect little sunshine boy', and I-" Brendon shook his head, grabbing another stone and carving 'fuck Gabe Saporta' into the paving stone, before throwing it into the canal. "I fucking hope he sees that."

Ryan's face cracked into a smile. "I hope so too. Sarah tried talking to him for help when you were missing with Dallon, and I mean he didn't exactly help all that much... neither did I though... fuck, Sarah was pretty much the only one who gave a fuck, I'm sorry, I-"

"We weren't on good terms then, it's not your fault." Brendon smiled, grabbing another stone and writing 'Ryan Ross is amazing' on the paving stone, before once again, throwing it into the canal.

Ryan shook his head, grabbing a stone and writing 'Brendon Urie has a massive forehead', however Brendon grabbed the stone, before Ryan could throw it into the canal, and drew a line through forehead and wrote 'dick' below it, and only then did he throw the stone into the canal.

Ryan shrugged it off, "it's not that big." Brendon wasn't amused to say the least, and met Ryan with a look of disappointment. "Oh come on, Brenny, it's not like I don't have first hand experience, is it?"

"Well, I'm sorry that I can't compare to your monstercock, Mr Ross-"

"Mr Ross? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"A classy motherfucker?" Brendon asked, raising one eyebrow.

"More like a whiny little bitchboy." 

"Bitchboy?"

"Bitchboy."

Brendon grabbed a stone, writing 'Bitchboy' on the paving stone, only this time, he didn't throw the stone into the canal, but at Ryan's fucking head.

-

Gabe felt an awkward sort of guilty.

An awkward sort of guilty where you knew that in a way, it was your fault.

It wasn't really, but he knew deep inside that if he'd at least been there for Brendon, Dallon might still be here.

Because again, in a way, it was kind of Brendon's fault, but of course, Gabe was in absolutely no position to start blaming people, and he knew that.

But when it actually came to calling Brendon, and physically apologising to the guy, he just couldn't do it.

And he knew that it was simply nothing more than his own cowardice holding him back.

And in that cowardice, he made his way out of his house, walking down the road for a good five minutes, with a straight beeline past Brendon's house, perhaps just to reinforce his cowardice as he turned down the little path that led into the forest; he just needed space to think, or time to waste, or something like that.

He just needed an excuse and the forest provided him exactly that as he let one foot fall in front of the other in a desperate attempt to get himself lost in here, and wondering with some last ditch attempt whether he should even make much of an effort in getting out of this place alive.

Gabe hated how he only started to give a fuck now, how only after it was too late, and only with him and William having an argument, because Gabe was fucking selfish, and fucking alone, and he fucking deserved it.

And it was too late for a sorry, not that he could even bring himself to utter one, because as he stood alone in the forest, Gabe Saporta knew that it had been him that had fucked this all up for the guy he had once called his best friend.

And meant it.

And well, Gabe didn't have an awful lot of best friends that he actually wanted, or friendships where the caring was mutual, for that matter.

"Gabe-?" He jumped at the sudden intrusion of a voice, because of course, he most definitely did not deserve the luxury of being alone right now.

"Sarah." He looked the girl up and down, swallowing hard as he did so, because he knew, he just knew what he'd done, and not only to Brendon and Dallon, but to Sarah Orzechowski too.

"Are you okay?" She stressed, grabbing his hand and meeting his gaze. "Fuck- you, you look like you're about to cry, Gabe Saporta, what the hell is wrong?"

"You don't hate me?" He paused for a moment, unable to comprehend the fact that he hadn't been punched in the face yet.

"No, I- why would I, Gabe? Don't be silly, come on, just tell me what's wrong I-"

"I was a dick to you about Brendon and Dallon, and now Dallon's dead and it's my fault and Bill fucking hates me, and all I cared about was Bill and Brendon was fucking in pain, and Dallon overdosed and Brendon called me because he needed me there for comfort, but William, fuck, he was sucking my dick and I said no- I chose a blowjob over potentially saving someone's life, I'm the shittiest fucking person in the whole goddamn world and we both know it-"

"Gabe, come on, calm down, you're not, you're really not, now could you possibly exclaim at a reasonable pace and with less hyperventilation?" She raised one eyebrow, cracking a smile, and Gabe nodded as she took his hand and the two began to walk down the path, well, Sarah was kind of dragging him, but whatever.

"I- I- what's with the hand holding- I...?" Gabe panicked a little, his cheeks flushing an awkward shade of red, because Sarah Orzechowski had quite honestly been everything he wasn't expecting and all at the same time.

"It's nothing, don't make a fuss over it, I'm just being nice." She smiled, but to Gabe, it was kind of like a slap in the face, because that's how it always was with everyone: just being nice.

"Bill kind of heard about Dallon, and we started talking about it, and I told him how I'd, I'd like- ignored Brendon for him, and well, I don't know, but he freaked the fuck out, and I haven't seen or heard from him at all for two days, and it's fucking me up, because he didn't even say anything about us: we were just arguing, and he just walked out, and I just, I can't even contact him, and fuck, I don't even know: my head just fucking aches."

"If it's anyone's fault, it's Brendon's." Gabe practically jumped at that, his gaze flying up to meet Sarah's with a look of utter astonishment upon his face. "But it's no one's fault, okay? But hypothetically, it still wouldn't be yours; I know you're a good guy, Gabe, and you don't deserve this. I assume William just feels guilty too, I mean, he was involved with the blowjob too, or at least I assume, because I highly doubt you can suck your own dick-"

"If you get some of your ribs removed you can." Gabe added with a small smile, and Sarah just shook her head in disbelief.

"Men are disgusting."

"Then why do you date them, Sarah, the token straight girl who hangs out with lesbians and gay dudes, and then whatever the fuck Brendon is, because I doubt he even knows if I'm honest."

Sarah shrugged it off. "I've never really thought about dating a girl, so I guess, I just don't want to, but of course, that could change, couldn't it? I could meet a girl, and maybe I could fall for her, but I don't know, it's unlikely anyway."

"Do you think Brendon dating you was just a one time thing or do you think he likes girls as well as guys?"

"I don't have a clue, if I'm honest, after all, no one would know better than Brendon himself and I reckon he's pretty unsure too, but I do know that there's definitely something going on between him and Ryan again."

"Ryan forgave him?" Gabe exclaimed, pausing for a moment, his brow furrowing. "I've heard a lot about their relationship and I really did not see that one coming."

"Neither did I; Brendon was staying at mine, and then Ryan came over, just to talk to me: he didn't know that Brendon was there, but then the two made eye contact and I thought I was going to have to sort out some fight here, but no, they just hugged, and now they barely leave each other's side."

"It's weird, because I think Brendon always loved Ryan, always, deep down, like soulmates, or something, I don't know, but still he dated you and Dallon, and I don't get that."

"Brendon doesn't love himself, that's the problem." Sarah paused, meeting Gabe's eyes. "Behind all that ego, there's a fucking terrified boy who we wouldn't even recognise; the boy who lost his father, the boy who lost Dallon, the boy so in love with Ryan that it scares him, the boy that Brendon keeps hidden away, because Brendon is that boy, and he's so fucking scared."

-

"You look homeless."

And he did.

"You're pretty though, that's new."

And he was.

William Beckett was curled up on a park bench in fucking sweatpants and Gabe's shirt, and he hadn't even noticed until ten minutes ago and that had literally just made his life at least ten times worse.

He hadn't exactly planned storming out of Gabe's house after what was easily the worst argument they'd ever had very well at all, but he hadn't expected it at all either.

He jumped a little as the bench dipped beside him and the man sat down, offering him a cigarette, which he declined with the shake of his head.

"Good, don't start, I swear all the pretty boys smoke and I reckon they're all going to die of bloody cancer before I ever have a chance with them." The man broke into a grin as he lit his cigarette. "It's a hard life."

"I'm not actually homeless." Bill added after a moment, blushing a little, because well, okay, for sure he wasn't in the best of states, but he didn't exactly reckon that he looked homeless, did he?

"I know." The man leaned back against the back of the bench, focusing his gaze upon the sunset as he smoked in silence for a moment. "I'm Bert. Do you have a name or did mummy tell you not to talk to strangers?"

"Fuck off, I'm not eight." Bill didn't even know if he was even going to grant this guy the luxury of his offense, because what the fuck, it was quite easily the dumbest joke he'd ever heard.

"You've got a baby face, come on, we can all see that." Bert turned back to the boy with a grin that William considered slapping off his face. "I'm twenty seven, how about you?"

"Eighteen." He blushed a little, because this dude was fucking nine years older than him, and in that moment they both knew it. "You don't look twenty seven, you look like you're in your early twenties, you know?"

"You don't look eighteen, you look like you're in your early teens, you know?" And William slapped him, because he deserved it.

"Well, if I look so young, stop hitting on me."

"I'm not hitting on you..." Bert paused for a moment, and met William's gaze. "You are kind of cute, though."

"You called me a pretty boy-"

"That isn't me hitting on you, that's just a fact." And well, that took Bill by surprise, to say the least. "Now, you never did tell me your name."

"Bill, well William, but Bill... Bill." 

"Cute, you're cute."

"I thought you weren't-"

"Maybe I changed my mind." Bert grinned, putting his arm around Bill in the least discreet gesture known to mankind ever. "So tell me, why are you sat here like a homeless dude?"

"I had an argument with my boyfriend- well probably ex-boyfriend at this point, it's complicated, like really fucking complicated, but basically Gabe, my boyfriend has this friend called Brendon, who was dating this kid called Dallon-"

"Dallon Weekes?" Bert raised an eyebrow, not exactly having expected that all the cute boys that were just a little too young for him all vaguely knew each other and lived in some sort of cult together, or at least that was how Bert imagined.

"Yeah...?"

"My housemate, Gee, he dated him a while back but then they broke up and I'm not exactly caught up but there's a lot of shit and now he's back with this guy called Frank and I'm not a hundred percent sure as to what the fuck is going on here at all-"

"Dallon's dead." 

"Oh?" 

"It was a really big mess with Brendon, who has a massive forehead and an obsession with milk or something, I don't know, Gabe and Brendon sort of stopped being friends when I started dating Gabe and then there was this mess with Dallon overdosing and Gabe not being there for Brendon, and then, I don't know I kind of blamed Gabe for Dallon's death and things got really out of hand and I just fucking stormed out."

"You've got somewhere to stay though, haven't you?" Bert asked, wondering just when he'd started to support the idea that his house was practically acting like some sort of orphanage for the gay emos with family issues, but William was cute, and technically single and Bert wasn't drunk enough to fuck this up, or at least he reckoned so.

"I'll be fine-" Bill stopped for a moment, looking down and running it through his head for a moment, before turning back to Bert, biting his lip and smiling a little before continuing, "actually, no."

"Oh?" Bert smiled a little. "Are you hitting on me? Why are you hitting on me if I'm so old- and your boyfriend-"

"My ex-boyfriend- I want revenge and pitysex and-"

"Who said anything about fucking?" Bert raised his eyebrows, but before he could continue, Bill was kissing him; it wasn't much, short, simple, but in no way dignified, messy, sloppy, even, but necessary.

"This is the trashiest thing you're ever going to do, basically." Bill let out a sigh, leaning into Bert's side a little. "Not for me, though... my mum, my mum's, well, a bible basher, and I'm a flaming homosexual so that's going well already, and I wanted to come out, fuck I needed to, so I had a stupid idea: I was going to tell her that I loved Jesus, and then be like, this is my boyfriend, Jesus, and then kiss him. Gabe played Jesus, and well we ended up dating after that, but she didn't like it, I got kicked out and I had to live with Gabe, which was alright but-"

"Technically you are homeless." Bert paused for a moment, before turning to face Bill with an odd kind of sympathy in his eyes. "You were going to decline somewhere to stay- you-"

"It's fine, I'm... I don't want to be dead weight, you have your own life and I- look it's difficult, I didn't want to explain, because you wouldn't want to understand-"

Bert remained silent for a moment, just holding Bill a little closer to him before continuing, "my parents kicked me out too, you know? It was years and years ago now, but, it's still difficult. They didn't kick me out for being bi, though, it... they well, they weren't nice people..."

"They abused you?"

Bert nodded. 

"I don't really want to talk about it: I don't, but, yeah, I... I fuck, this is amazing, I'm crying, and you're homeless and cute and totally going to sleep with me, but I'm crying and pathetic and-"

Bill kissed him again, and the two just sat there in silence for entirely too long, because that was the first good thing the both of them had had in an awfully long time.

"You know? That's not the trashiest thing I'm ever going to do. You know, Gee, my housemate? Well his boyfriend Frank doesn't exactly like me, but there was this time I started dating his mum and oh my god she introduced him to me and it was fucking ridiculous, I- we didn't last, obviously."

"I dare you to start dating my mum, she's married, but just kill my dad or whatever-"

"Or whatever?"

"Or whatever."

-

Darkness hung over the scene like thick black smoke, the corner of the park empty besides the few teenagers that had gathered there for a reason that only they could really know. The gathering was lit by cellphone torches and a small bonfire kind of thing that Spencer had assembled in the middle with the help of a few logs and a shoddy lighter than never worked as well as you really wanted it to.

More people had turned up than the trio could have anticipated for, but everyone remained respectful, and stood in a circle filled with the low buzz of conversation and the click of several lighters, as everyone waited and watched as Joe Trohman, the appointed priest at their make shift funeral placed their makeshift, but most certainly heartfelt representation of Dallon into the ground and cleared his throat.

And in that instant, he had the whole world's attention, or at least the attention of the people that actually mattered, the people gathered here.

"Before we start, does anyone want to say something, or, well, just say anything really, I mean, I've never exactly held a funeral for my dead best friend before, so like, constructive criticism is accepted too." Joe gained a quiet kind of nervous laughter from the crowd, and was left to watch as eventually Lindsey Ballato stepped forward.

"You're doing great, it's the thought that matters okay." She glanced quickly at the cross with Dallon's name scribbled on it in what she really suspected was in fact eyeliner, before continuing, "I never really knew him, but I certainly met him a few times when he was dating Gee, and I can very easily say that he was always so nice, and he never deserved this." She nodded at Joe, before stepping back into the circle of people and grabbing Jamia's hand.

"Anyone else- wait, let's just, let's go around in a circle, and we can just each say something, it doesn't have to be much, or you can have a full prepared speech, it doesn't matter, it's just the thought, okay? We're doing a million times better than his parents are and that's very by giving one single fuck." He paused for a moment, meeting Brendon's eyes across the circle, his gaze trailing down Brendon's arm to his hand and the way it was linked with Ryan's; he smiled to himself before continuing.  "I'll start, Dallon was such a great friend, and I love him very much, and I just wish I could have done more to help him with his problems before it was too late."

Joe turned to Andy, "he was always there for everyone, and he always cared so much, but he just never let people help him, and I will always regret not trying harder."

Spencer let out a sigh, holding his cigarette between two fingers and glancing at the little makeshift cross, "he was always my best friend, and I remember sixth grade and the grapes and I remember him always being there and I don't think anything will ever be the same again, but he's in heaven now, and I hope to God himself, that he's having a nice time up there."

"He'll be with Pete in heaven." Ryan added, pulling his hand away from Brendon's as attention fell upon him. "I reckon Pete would like him. And I never knew him much myself, but Brendon cares an awful lot for him, and I care an awful lot about Brendon, and in turn, anyone that Brendon cares about."

A scarlet red blush hugged Brendon's cheek as he began to speak, "H-he f-fuck... I don't want to be the first one to cry here, but he was everything and my whole life is flashbacks... flashbacks to that park and we were there and those swings and 'I love you's but 'I love you's too late and then him sleeping but never waking up and calling the ambulance and calling Sarah and-" Brendon stopped, Ryan pulling him tightly into a hug as Ray took the liberty of continuing.

"I wish I could have known him better, but I didn't, and no one should ever feel like he did, and life is really not fair sometimes." Ray did all he could not to glance at Mikey, as Sarah stepped forward to speak.

"He was a miracle worker, if I'm honest, because if anyone can make Brendon Urie admit that he loves them more than he loves himself then they have to be a goddamn miracle worker. He didn't deserve his eating disorder and everything, he was beautiful and I just wish I could have found him and Brendon before it was too late."

Kitty gave Sarah a reassuring kind of hug, "I don't think I ever really met the guy, but if he means so much to all of you, then he has to be pretty fucking special."

Jamia smiled a little as she stepped forward, Lindsey's having already spoken, "I guess this is me apologising for punching him in the face, but you've got to be pretty damn amazing to not be Frank Iero and still make Gee Way fall for you, just saying." 

Her words were followed by a few small giggles, as Frank stepped forward, blushing like hell itself, "I wish I could have known him better, I guess, he was the guy that dated my boyfriend and I never thought much more of him, but really he was the guy with a monster inside his mind, and I just wish that he could have been helped before the monster ate him in the end."

Gee Way, donning brand new, bright red dyed hair, stepped forward, "I know, I dyed my hair, fantastic, it looks hot, I know, Frank has told me many times, but this is about Dallon, and I'm his ex-boyfriend and he was beautiful and amazing and always there. He helped me with an alcohol problem, and I tried to help him with his problems with eating, but the guy's stubborn, perhaps even more stubborn than me, and he didn't deserve for things to be this way."

Mikey nodded at his brother as he began to speak, "I wasn't much aware of the guy, but I hope he and Pete are okay up in heaven, and I hope they're happy, because no one should ever deserve to be anything but happy."

It was Alicia's turn next, and with a can of beer in hand, she did her best to utter something worth anyone's time, "I didn't know him, in fact, I don't know quite a few of you, and I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry that he's dead, because no one ever deserves to die."

Bob stepped forward next, and just about everyone knew that this was going to be the funeral speech of the fucking century. "He was pretty and I was there when he was with Gee a few times, and he was really nice and no one deserves to die, as Alicia said, she's right about everything, you know? Anyway, I would have totally given him free weed if I knew him, because he seems like a pretty dope guy, and I hope he has fun in heaven, even though I don't believe in God, I believe he should get his own heaven, I also believe that it should be the law to have a swimming pool in your house, but that's besides the point. I also like milk, thank you for your time- oh, and in other news, I'm considering running for president-"

"Bob." Alicia grabbed his hand and pulled him back with a whispered apology in Joe's direction.

Bert stepped forward, with a few raised eyebrows from the crowd, because it wasn't like he was the most respectful person in the world, was it? "Not going to lie, didn't really like the guy, but suicide, no, no one deserves feeling like that."

And to say the least, more than a few people were just a little surprised to see Bill Beckett beside him, but very little was said. "He was a nice guy, as I've heard, and Gabe should have been nicer to Brendon when he lost him."

And in that moment, everyone became overly aware of the absence of Gabe Saporta.

"Where is Gabe?" Spencer piped up, as Joe pressed the cross into the ground, and stepped back into the circle.

"He said he was going to make his own way here." Sarah added, gaining just a few looks from the crowd. "I let him sleep on my sofa, but then I woke him up with the news about the funeral and he went home to get changed or something-"

"Maybe he's late." Gee pointed out.

"Or maybe, like always, he just doesn't give a fuck." Bill's bitter comment gained very little of a response, because right now, no one was in the mood.

"Do you think we should look for him?" Sarah asked, directing her question more so in Joe's direction.

"He wasn't there for Brendon when he needed him so why the fuck should we care about him?" Bill was persistent, and Bert McCracken, the only person he'd listen to at this point, showed very little interest in stopping him.

"Because it's the right thing to do." Joe finished, glaring in his direction just a little. "He could be in trouble."

"Like I give a fuck." And with that, Bill stormed off, Bert at his heels, with no form of apology nor explanation.

-

 lmao bill beckett and bert mccracken everyones otp am i right guys? #billert get it fucking trending and maybe i'll consider not killing gabe lmao. anyway votes and comments are cool and so are you lmao love you lots really i promise<3