"He's gone, I mean, really gone."

Joe Trohman stood in disbelief as Ryan Ross turned up at his house at seven in the morning, which wasn't a regular occurrence, to say the least.

"What?" Joe asked, his eyes widening a little as he took in Ryan's disheveled appearance, and began to consider whether the guy stood outside his door was just drunk, and just need to be let in and allowed to sleep on his sofa for the rest of the day, or whatever.

But that really was not the case, and really, everyone in the whole damn world would have preferred it to be so.

"P-Patrick." Ryan stuttered out, looking as if he was about to burst into tears at any given moment, and well, at this point Joe had little choice but to let him in.

"What do you mean?" He spoke in the calmest tone he could muster, locking the front door behind the two of them, as Ryan stood in his hallway: jittery and on the brink of tears, and fuck, Joe had really never been quite so confused.

"He's gone, Joe!" Ryan exclaimed, his voice cracking as he broke into an awkward screech worthy of a twelve year old boy.

"Patrick? Where?" Joe still wasn't getting this, and it most definitely had something to do with the fact that it was no later than seven sixteen in the morning.

"I don't know! No text, no phone call, no nothing, his house is empty- they just fucking left, they're just gone and I've tried calling him at least seven times now and I just-..." Ryan paused for breath, shaking his head firmly as he did all he could to refrain from having some sort of mental breakdown right then and there. "No response, no fucking response, I'm just... I'm clueless. He never said anything at all."

"He said nothing to me either." Joe added after a moment, leading Ryan into the living room and gesturing for him to take a seat on the sofa beside him. "God, I... he's really gone... just moved his whole family- I... this just won't sink in-"

"Well I can fucking show you-"

"I believe you, Ryan, of course I believe you, I just care too much about him to let it be true, god, I... I just really hope he's alright." Joe let out a sigh, pulling his knees up to his chest. "He always seemed to have a hard time with life, didn't he? Especially with Pete and everything."

"God, I couldn't possibly blame him; Patrick is the nicest person I've ever met, but he was always so quiet, just in the background... he didn't particularly, you know, make himself known... if you get what I mean?" Joe nodded in response, leaving Ryan to continue. "And then Brendon was always such a dick to him, but Brendon's always such a dick to anyone... I mean... he used to be at least, I think... I feel like he's changed an awful lot after Dallon died."

"Anyone would, your kind of best friend kind of boyfriend dies, you've lost your whole world, haven't you?" Joe paused for a moment, sat there in silence and thought for a moment, before glancing at Ryan and continuing. "I assume it was the same with Patrick, wasn't it? Of course, I didn't know him until after, but..."

"I knew him, but like not really... like he was there, I knew of him, but we'd never really had much of a conversation until Pete died, and well... that affected us all. I remember the funeral; he was the first one there and I arrived with Brendon, and I spoke to him, making sure he was okay, but Brendon didn't seem to care for it at all... he almost seemed... jealous."

"I don't really know Brendon that well, but I get a sort of weird vibe from him, like there's just something off, you know?" Joe posed the question with anxiety and found an instant kind of relief in Ryan's hasty nod.

"I guess he never had someone there grieving with him and making sure he was okay, protecting and him stuff, like I did with Patrick." Joe hit Ryan with a confused expression. "Brendon- he doesn't want people to know, like I think only I know this, but his dad died a few years ago. He shot himself, and Brendon hasn't exactly had things easy from then on. He sort of built up this whole egotistical facade to deal with it, because there are moments with Brendon when you see past that, and you see this guy: sweet, and fucking scared, oh so fucking scared."

"I assume it doesn't get any easier the second time either..." Joe met Ryan's gaze, shuffling a little closer to him. "With Dallon... Brendon's going to need someone there for him or it's going to be like his dad all over again, and that facade will strengthen, and honestly, I don't even care for Brendon that much, but no one deserves to hurt like that for so long."

"I think Sarah's got that covered; I went over to hers the other day and I just- that was the first time I'd seen Brendon in far too long, and fuck, I thought we were going to fight and I thought- but no, we just hugged, we didn't even say anything, I just sat with him until he fell asleep and then left afterwards... I don't know... it was weird."

"He needs you, Ryan, I'm not going to lie to you here, I just know-"

"So you're telling me to get back with Brendon Urie?" Ryan exclaimed, Joe's suggestion taking him by surprise, well to say the least.

"No- well, I... I'm not telling you to do anything, Ryan, I'm just telling you that Brendon is going to fuck himself up with this, and I'm just telling you that you're probably the only person who can stop that."

"I..." Ryan stared at Joe: utterly perplexed, and dear god, it was far too early for this shit.

"You could just help him as a friend, but I know you, Ryan, you care, and you need someone to care about, and Brendon needs someone to care about him." Joe paused for a moment, before getting to his feet. "Coffee?"

"What?"

"Do you want some coffee?" Joe asked, changing the subject within seconds, and okay, Ryan didn't exactly blame him all that much: it was some pretty heavy duty conversation considering the time. "I can't imagine I'm going to be able to get back to sleep now."

"Yeah, please, lots of milk."

-

Ryan knew that Sarah was judging him as he turned up at her house at eight in the morning, and she judged him even more when he walked past after a quick hello and sat down on the sofa beside Brendon, who was, of course still fast asleep, because it was the eight in the fucking morning, okay?

"Should I even ask?" Sarah let out a sigh, locking the front door behind Ryan, before making her way into the living room and taking a seat in the chair beside the sofa. "What happened to me being 'mother Theresa'?"

Ryan shrugged, looking down, and well, he honestly wasn't all that sure. "I... Patrick... he's gone... I... moved or something... just nothing, his whole house no nothing... I just... it's weird, and I... I just... I had this conversation with Joe and my whole head's a mess, but I feel sorry for him, and I want to be here when he wakes up, because I want to make sure he's okay."

"Is this a gay thing again?" Sarah asked, her eyebrows raised, because well, she really hadn't been expecting this.

"I don't know yet, I mean, I'm not planning on it being like that, but he's Brendon and I'm Ryan, and I feel like that means something." Ryan grabbed Brendon's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, and causing him to stir in his sleep a little. "His dad did something a while ago, and it affected him, and I can't... he doesn't tell people this, I-"

"His dad shot himself? Yeah, he told me that." And Ryan only stared blankly because he really had not been expecting that.

"Oh... I thought he only ever told me." Ryan let out a sigh, and he wasn't sure if he was disappointed or what, because whatever he was, it felt fucking stupid.

"It was when you told me to talk to him after Patrick's party and that mess, and well... yeah... we've kind of gone full circle now?" Sarah smiled, because she didn't care... about... something... it's not exactly specified what, okay? Sarah just didn't care. Perhaps it was about the milk fic, Sarah didn't care about the milk fic, although, it wasn't entirely that relevant right now, but whatever, it's beyond the point now: Sarah just fucking smiled, okay?

"Yeah, I guess." Ryan forced a smile in return, only for Brendon to jump up, waking up all of a sudden in a mildly amusing gesture.

"W-what?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes and glaring in Sarah's direction. "Are you watching me sleep? I know I'm a whiny, troubled teenager, but I'm not exactly Bella Swan, and you're hardly Edward Cullen."

"No, I'm talking to Ryan." Sarah spoke with the kind of nonchalance that sent a bullet through Brendon's chest as he turned his head and noticed his motherfucking ex-boyfriend sat so casually beside him.

"W-what?"

"He wanted to talk to you when you woke up or something." Sarah got to her feet, winking at Ryan in a totally discreet manner, but Brendon was half-asleep so it barely mattered at all. "Look, I'm going to go make breakfast, okay?" And with that, the living room door was closed behind them, and Brendon was not at all prepared for this kind of stressful homosexuality so early in the morning.

"Brendon, I... I'm sorry, okay? You're not okay, are you?" Ryan wasn't entirely sure where to start with this mess, but he assumed an apology was as good a place as any.

"I'm fine..." Brendon mumbled, leaning into Ryan's side, making it evident that he really wasn't awake yet. "Are you okay?"

"I guess... no, you know what actually? I'm not." Ryan snapped, taking hold of his life and his emotions in a move that shouldn't have been as empowering as it was, but whatever.

"Oh..." Brendon trailed off, his expression changing to one of confusion as he struggled to get his brain to function this early in the morning. "Why?"

"Patrick... oh... I don't even know anymore: he's moved away, and I don't even know why, I've haven't spoken to him or see him in days, and there's no call or text or explanation or anything, like... is it something I've done? I don't fucking know and Joe's as clueless as I am."

"It's about Pete... it's still about Pete, it's always about Pete: things like that just don't go away." Brendon let out a sigh, beginning to wake up, and beginning to remember just how much Dallon had mattered as he did.

"I know."

"No, you don't, because... Dallon's my Pete, in a way, and I can see Patrick, and I'm going to end up like Patrick, and I don't know if I want that I- I don't, no I don't. My head's full of him: it's the eating disorder that he never could recover from, and it's my fault, my selfishness, and that play park and those swings, and that... we were at a play park and we sat on the swings and I was so in love, and everything was okay, and I was so fucking okay, and everything felt like flying, but with the high, there's always a low, and we kissed and fucked, and then we just cuddled, and he fell asleep on my side or something, but, he never fucking woke up, Ryan, he never did, and I can't- I can't... I just... what if we'd never even got acquainted, like that one night that Gabe was with Bill, and I-... I still haven't really spoken to Gabe, and maybe I should, but I don't know, my head's such a mess-"

And then Brendon was crying, and his face was pressed into Ryan's chest, and everything was so homosexual, but a subtle kind of homosexual, because like Brendon was crying, and Ryan had decency, and fuck, Brendon was crying, and over Dallon too, and Brendon just didn't cry, and Ryan couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Brendon's dead ex-boyfriend.

"I'm sorry about us, and everything... I know it was you, and- fuck, look it doesn't matter anymore, okay? Let's just start again, we're friends again, because I kind of miss you a lot and you're not going to admit it but you need a best friend right now."

"Yeah." Brendon leaned his head into Ryan's lap. "This me admitting it and proving you wrong, because I can."

"Stubborn asshole." Ryan rolled his eyes, his heart jolting in his chest as he was suddenly thrown back to that first music lesson where he was sat next to Brendon, and fuck, just fuck. "Remember that first music lesson when we met?"

Brendon nodded, letting out a sigh, and meeting Ryan's gaze. "You know what the first thing I ever heard about you was?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Pete said to me that day before the music lesson 'his name is Ryan Ross and one day I will be attending your wedding'." 

Ryan let out a sigh, his eyes hitting the floor. "Things don't always work out how we want them to, I guess."

"No," Brendon shook his head, "they really don't."

-

"I'm tired..."

"You just slept for twelve hours, Bob."

"I know." He smiled, burying his head into Alicia's side. "I'm still tired."

"I know." She laughed it off, sitting up on the sofa that they'd been crashing on together for the past few days: shit had gotten nasty with her parents and Bob, and dear god, she reckoned she was permanently disowned at this point, but she still couldn't really get herself to give that much of a fuck at all, which was pretty odd.

"I'm not waking up." Bob groaned, opening his eyes with an excess of effort, and leaving Alicia to roll her eyes at her best friend. "I'm not!" He repeated, almost as if to reinforce his point, and almost as if Alicia didn't believe him, and of course, she didn't; she knew better, after all.

"Okay, whatever you say." She grinned, getting up, and taking the blanket with her, and much as she had suspected, Bob really did not like that at all.

"Fucking fuck you- no, why would you do that?" Bob exclaimed, appearing genuinely offended by the fact that Alicia had left, and taken the goddamn blanket with her, and now Bob was both cold and tired, which fucking sucked.

"Because I'm the motherfucking wicked witch of the west." Alicia exclaimed, throwing a middle finger in Bob's direction, and smirked to herself as she watched him sit up.

"Yeah, and I'm fucking Gandalf, so watch the fuck out." He mumbled, getting up with severe reluctance, because he really wasn't happy about this at all.

"Wrong movie, pal, Gandalf was Lord of the Rings and the wicked witch of the west is The Wizard Of Oz." 

"Whatever, do I look like I care? No, fuck you." But Bob followed her into the kitchen nonetheless, because he was Bob Bryar and she was Alicia Simmons and that was kind of how things just were.

"Morning." Frank greeted the two of them with a nod of his head. "Gee's with Mikey, and it's 'private' or something, so I'm left all alone." He pouted as he continued.

"You've got us." Bob exclaimed, grinning like an idiot, and embracing Frank in a suffocating, but amusing, at least from Alicia's point of view, hug. "Also do you have any weed, because all my weed was at my house and I-"

"There's probably some in Gee's room, if you can find it, but no I did not tell you about this, okay? And if you get caught, it's your fault, got it?" And Bob was nodding his head and making his way towards Gee's room before Frank could even breathe.

"He's an idiot." Alicia smiled to herself as the door closed behind him. "I do love him, though, but he's a fucking idiot."

"Love him? Or just-"

"He's nine years older than me, he's a drug dealer, and a shit one at that, he's my best friend, but definitely not my boyfriend." Alicia let out a sigh as she took the seat beside Frank at the kitchen table.

"Okay, he doesn't have to be - I was just wondering." Frank turned to Alicia with a sigh, because fuck, he'd seen her and Bob as they'd arrived, and there were dozens of questions on the tip of his tongue but couldn't quite bring himself to say, and it was slowly cutting him down.

"Just say it." Alicia's voice cut through his thoughts like a very rude knife. "I can tell you want to say something: just do it, I've heard it all."

"What exactly happened with you and Bob and your parents and all that mess?" 

She exhaled loudly, her fingers twitching a little as she looked away. "I left to go stay with Bob after we had an argument, and well, my parents eventually decided to forgive me or whatever, and they kept texting and calling but I wouldn't reply, and they got pissed off and worried, and ended up tracking my phone or whatever, and found Bob's place, and then there was the whole 'who the fuck is this random man and why are you living with him?' thing and then my dad really fucking lost it and called me an ungrateful bitch, and then Bob, Bob just fucking punched him square in the face, fucking knocked him off his feet, and Bob was just stoned as fuck at the time, like I doubt he even remembers it, but I doubt I'll ever forget it and the look on my mother's face, and then my father punching him back, and then Bob punching him again harder, and then my mother finally came to her senses and got her and dad the fuck out of there. And Bob's fucking face was bleeding, like god, it looked worse than it really was, and I dragged him outside so I could see it in the light, and get him to the hospital or whatever if necessary, and then Bert shows up, and everyone's arguing, and I think my brain just gives the fuck up then, because I'm still walking but the next thing I know is Mikey's voice, and this place... and fuck... just fuck."

"God, I'm so sorry, fucking hell, I-" Frank began, only for Alicia to cut him off with the need for another explanation.

"I don't know if we can even go back to Bob's without fear of this happening again, because, well, my parents aren't the best of people, to say the least, but I can't stay here on a fucking sofa forever, and I can't go back and they want me to go back - that's the purpose here, but Bob's my best friend, and he's not someone I can give up on, like, no matter what a fucking idiot he is, he's always my idiot, and he always matters the most?"

"That's how I feel about Gee." Frank admitted, avoiding her gaze for a moment. "Like, technically I should have dumped for cheating on me with Dallon, but he was a mess, and it is his fault, yes, but I can't bring myself to blame him, I just love him a goddamn awful lot."

"Bob's not my boyfriend though: it's a different kind of love-"

"No, love's the same, it's just how you express it that's different, and it's fine whatever way you do express it, because you don't have to date him, I'm not saying that at all, I'm just... I think I'm slowly beginning to realise just how much Gee matters to me."

"And you didn't already know?"

"No, you don't, not really, because you just sort of get used to these feelings, and they way they grow a little each day, and it's casual, and then one day you're hit in the face by this tidal wave of feelings that you can't understand or control, not really, anyway, I mean sure you can try, but-"

Alicia caught her breath, her gaze drifting to the floor. "I think, I think I know what you mean."

-

Jamia had slept at Lindsey's that night, and the past four nights, but that was besides the point, or whatever, Jamia was just a little preoccupied with kissing her girlfriend right then: it was tipsy kind of eleven in the morning 'we've already downed a bottle of wine' kissing, but it was kissing nonetheless.

But it wasn't like you could blame her, was it?

Lindsey Ballato was just a fucking goddess, and that was the eleventh commandment of God himself, yes, yes you heard it here first.

"I have like six unread messages." Jamia mumbled into Lindsey's side: a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"But you have me here." Lindsey continued, pressing her lips against Jamia's in one quick motion. "You can read them any time, but my offer might not be that permanent."

"And what offer is that?" Jamia broke into a grin, pulling away from Lindsey so she could see her face properly.

The older of the two only smirked in response. "Perhaps you'll have to find out."

"Or perhaps you could stop being such a cryptic little bitch." Jamia suggested with a raise of one eyebrow, causing Lindsey to throw her middle finger in her direction.

"You totally killed the mood." Lindsey groaned, leaning back against the bed, her gaze fixating upon the picture of that frog meme that Gee had blu-tacked to her ceiling a while ago when he was very, very high, and well, Lindsey had resorted to just ignoring it at this point.

"I'm sorry, I'm not the one with a frog meme on my ceiling staring at us as we fuck." Jamia pointed out as she joined Lindsey laid back on the bed.

"You've got to admit that it's kind of amusing though." Lindsey added, raising her eyebrows a little as she watched Jamia peer it at with an intense curiosity.

"Okay, just a little." Jamia rolled her eyes, entwining her fingers with Lindsey's, but like no homo, because they're just 'live in gal pals' what, lesbians don't exist? "I'm not exactly a memelord, though."

"I'm the meme queen." Lindsey grinned, before shaking her head firmly. "That's totally Gerard, though- did I tell you he was the one who put it there?"

"Yes, only about four hundred and twenty times." Jamia rolled her eyes, leaving Lindsey to press a kiss to her lips just to shut her up, and not because lesbians- remember, gal pals!

"Who's the meme queen now?" Lindsey sat up, and perhaps just so she could avoid looking at that goddamn frog meme before she had a heart attack or something.

"Stop saying meme queen or I'll do something, I swear-"

"Do what?" Lindsey pulled Jamia up with her, leaning in closer in a heterosexual way because lesbians don't exist remember, kids! "Do me?"

"I'd like to." Jamia added, and well, it wasn't exactly like the whole goddamn world knew it already, was it? "That frog meme is kind of off putting, though, like the face it's making- it's kind of seductive-"

"Did you really just call a frog seductive?" Lindsey widened her eyes in disbelief.

"Yes, Lindsey Ballato, yes I motherfucking did!" 

"Alright then, whatever, you can get it off if you want, or you can get me off if you want, whatever you want, my meme queen." Lindsey mock bowed at Jamia, who was quick to flash her middle finger in response.

"Your meme queen, fuck off, I'm not your meme queen!" Jamia looked genuinely repulsed as she stumbled out of bed, grabbing a plaid shirt from the floor and pulling it on, because damn, she was just that heterosexual.

"Where are you going? Don't leave me with my frog meme." Lindsey pouted, giggling to herself like a fucking idiot, because that was indeed what she was.

"I can't take you and your memes anymore, Jesus Christ, I'm getting breakfast-"

"We don't have any milk!" Lindsey exclaimed, stumbling out of bed after her in significantly less clothing, not that Jamia particularly minded, of course.

"Goddam it! What on earth will we do without milk? Next thing you'll be telling me that we don't have a bathtub either!" Jamia exclaimed, her expressions over exaggerated, but not in an unnecessary way, because milk was an important, vital part of a healthy calcium enriched lifestyle.

"No, we only have a shower." Lindsey muttered in genuine milk deprived disappointment.

"Look, do you know where Ryan Ross lives, because goddamn, we need some milk!" Jamia's words were stressed and rightly so, because with this calcium deficiency, stress was inevitable.

"Let's just go to Gee's. I swear there's like seven people staying there right now." Lindsey suggested, leaving Jamia to raise her eyebrows at her girlfriend.

"You might want to put a few more clothes on, though." Jamia pointed out, although she wasn't all that particularly fussed herself. "Just a suggestion, of course, do what you want."

"Can I do you then?" Lindsey grinned, pinning Jamia back against the wall. "Because that way, we don't have to worry about eating out, because I'll just eat you out, if you know what I mean."

"No, Lindsey, as a sexually active lesbian I don't know what eating out means-" Jamia began, only for Lindsey to push her lips against the eighteen year old's, and well, that shut her up pretty quickly, not that either of the two 'live in gal pals' really minded.

Lindsey pulled the plaid shirt off her girlfriend, leaving the two of them stood in Lindsey's kitchen, absolutely fucking naked, but of course, no homo, gal pals! Lesbians are not real: 'lesbians' has eight letters, and you know what else has eight letters? 'Assholes' and you know what you put in assholes? Milk! Milk is white, what else is white? Yes, the white iPhone! You know who made the white iPhone? Steve Jobs! Steve Jobs is dead, you know what else is dead? This meme. Lesbians = illuminati confirmed.

"You're my meme queen, for serious." Jamia pulled away, smiling at her naked and incredibly attractive 'gal pal'.

"You're my meme queen, too." Lindsey grinned, pushing a strand of hair behind Jamia's ear.

"Come on, think of something original: we can't both be meme queens." Jamia protested in a manner that was totally out of order for someone who was criticising Lindsey's ceiling placement of the frog meme only minutes ago.

"Fine, you're a meme princess." Lindsey raised her eyebrows. "Better?"

"We shouldn't drink wine when we first wake up, should we?" Jamia giggled, burying her head into Lindsey's shoulder.

"We totally should, my meme princess."

"Oh my god, I love you, and I really meme it."

"Fuck off."

"Don't be meme to me."

-

Ray was sorry, but apologies were never enough, and neither were the long winded text messages you wrote in the early hours of the morning, and only for them to be marked as read or simply just responded to with a one word response, such as 'okay' or 'sorry', or... 'don't'.

Ray was very sorry, but still very in love.

And he wasn't sure what this was, because Ray didn't have a lot of 'things', well, real things with people and love and fluttering hearts and nights when they stayed in bed but never went to sleep, but if Ray knew anything, he knew that it mattered, or at least it had.

Mikey hadn't spoken or even texted one single word to him in near enough two weeks now, and at this point, Ray was supposed to be fully better, but at this point, Ray was just nothing but so much worse.

Ray remembered his dog dying and Mikey and the playground, and everything that was enough to make his head spin.

He remembered croquet in his back yard with Frank and Mikey, because Mikey wanted to impress Alicia Simmons, and he remembered Frank coming out to him, and Pete's crush on Mikey, and Pete's death, and Gee, and everything.

And soon enough, Ray was crying.

Because they'd never be how they were again: they'd never be three best friends playing croquet for the sake of some pretty girl on a Sunday afternoon, they'd grown up, or something, and people change, of course they do, but Ray couldn't help feel like he was to blame.

Frank and Mikey had moved on to different friends, different worlds, different lives perhaps, but Ray Toro remained in his back garden: alone this time, but his thoughts were in the right place, and Ray Toro sat there and wished himself up a happy ending.

But he couldn't.

He had no one to have the aforementioned happy ending with, and he was scared: goddamn he was scared to reach out to Mikey, because he cared what Mikey thought too much, and he was scared to reach out to Frank because the two barely talked anymore, but Frank cared and Frank had always been there for him, and he'd always been there for Frank.

And Ray looked at the sunset and sent his head travelling back through memory and time to the sunny afternoon they spent playing croquet that seemed worlds away now.

Ray called Frank, setting his phone on speaker and let the dial tones act as the sound track for his evening; he didn't expect a response, and the voicemail message was in fact nothing but anticipated, because it was better off this way; this way Ray didn't have to face anything.

He wondered if he'd go to bed like the night before and the night before that, and drift to sleep and think of nothing as he made his way through life like nothing mattered: he wondered if he could do that - he knew he couldn't.

He needed absent matter to fill his mind, and within fifteen minutes and a bus ride, Ray found himself at a certain comic store in a part of town he didn't frequent, but the place made him smile and welcomed him in a weird sort of way.

The cashier met him with a smile, and didn't fail to notice the sorrow upon his face; she got up from what she was doing and made her way across the store. "What's wrong?" She skipped the 'are you okay?' because Sarah Orzechowski already knew the answer.

"I still love him: my ex-boyfriend..." And Ray found himself wrapped in a tight hug before he could even quite figure out what was happening. "We broke up a while ago now, but I miss him- no, it's more than missing: this is loving and my heart can't cope with this, because he won't return my calls, my texts or anything, and my best friend hasn't spoken to me in months. I'm alone, my name is Ray, and I'm alone and I can't apologise enough, because nobody ever listens."

"I'm Sarah, and I'm going to close up this shop and we're going to go into the stockroom and sort this mess out, because you don't deserve to feel like this at all."

Ray just nodded, letting time and the universe slide by around him, blinking, and noticing things again when he found himself sat on a chair in the stockroom with Sarah by his side.

"Tell me his name." Sarah began, gripping Ray's hand in order to comfort him, and ending up putting a little smile on his face as she did so.

"His name's Mikey and he was my best friend, and then he was my boyfriend, and now he's not, and I thought I was fine: I was supposed to be fine, but in reality, things just aren't like that at all."

"You can only get over him or tell him how you feel. This limbo, this fucked up 'I love you but it's a secret' kind of purgatory is what breaks hearts more, not rejection, and I promise you that." Sarah smiled, and it was almost like she was made to do exactly that, because goddamn, Sarah was beautiful when she smiled, in fact, Sarah was beautiful all the time.

"Neither of those seem like viable options, if I'm honest." Ray sighed out, letting out a chuckle.

"They really don't tend to: things would be far too easy that way, but may you could just try telling him, and then, if it doesn't work, you just have to get over him, and there's no limbo - there's no talking yourself out of it... you just do it."

"You just do it?" Ray seemed unconvinced.

"Yeah, you do." And Sarah's words meant more to Ray than anything ever had.

"How do you know exactly what to say?" Ray asked, his eyes widening a little.

"Because, I'm going through exactly the same thing."

"What?"

"His name's Brendon, and... I can't lie to myself about it anymore."

-

hey guys i dont even know what to say about this chapter its just a big emo mess and i love this fic too much, as much as i love you pals bc ur great pals and you should vote and comment bc ur great pals and we're great pals !!! <3