The air is filled with ire silence. My eyes were staring attentively at the woman who’s just plainly seating on the couch. Naghihintay akong magbago ito at baka ako ay namamalik-mata lamang. But, no, it was really her.

Paano siya napadpad dito sa mansyon?

Nakatingin din ito pabalik sa akin, ngunit may ngiting nakapaskil sa kanyang mukha. Samantalang halos magkasalubong na ang aking mga kilay sa pagtataka.

“Aurora,” Devon broke the ice. My eyes shifted to him as he stood by my side. “This is Cassandra Clemente Henderson, my mother.”

My posture almost stiffened. He just dropped the bomb without me being prepared. He seems unaware of the static reaction between me and that woman, who’s actually his mother. Perhaps, he wasn’t informed of our first encounter.

“What?” I asked like a retard. That was my initial reaction. Actually, nope. My initial reaction should be me attacking the woman to death without words being spoken, the very moment I saw her. But, since she’s in his territory, looking unarmed, I didn’t.

“Nice formally meeting you…again, my dear,” ngiti niya sa akin. I refused to return it back and just glance at her. “I heard the dreadful news, so I rush here to physically check on you. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng oras since I was out of the country that time. I’m a doctor and I’m sure Devon had told you that his mother is,” pahayag niya.

Naaalala ko ngang nabangit niya iyon, pero hindi ko aakalain na siya pala mismo ito. Who knows, right? Their family line is kept in with their selves. The mafia leaders need to be in a low-profile to avoid being targeted easily. And I think Clemente Mafia overused that kind of strategy that majority of its members doesn’t know the name of the Don. Iilan lang na mga nakakataas na posisyon ang may alam nito. So, how do we work back then? We just follow orders without questions.

Well, except for me. I’m only the rebellious one.

“Maraming ikinikwento ang aking anak tungkol sa iyo,” she said. I mentally rolled my eyes. What stories could that be? “Ngunit, mukhang nakalimutan niya atang bangitin ang isang bagay…” her words hang in the air as her eyes linger on my hand. On my hand that Devon is holding… Agad ko itong hinila palayo. Napatingin tuloy ito sa akin at parang balak kunin ito muli. His mother just chuckled at our reactions, “Let’s go eat first. Gutom na ako,” aniya.

Tumayo ito at naunang naglakad patungo sa dining room. Sumunod lamang kaming dalawa ni Devon. It is still silent. The whole mansion is muted right now. Tila isang pagbibigay respeto sa natatanging bisita. Kahit hindi iutos ay iyon ang awtomatiko mong mararamdam. She’s one of the highest ranked leaders of the mafia. Devon and his parents, they were the real heads of Clemente. Or there is more? Damn. Now I wonder if he has siblings.

Then, I realized I only know a tiny bit of his life, but he knows my entire story. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagsiklab ng iba’t-ibang tanong sa aking isipan. Marami akong gustong itanong, pero mukhang hindi ngayon ang tamang oras para roon.

When we arrived. I quickly smelt the mouthwatering foods. Devon pulled me a chair and I just sat deliberately. The long table is filled with different meals that is too much for the three of us. It’s like we’re having a big celebration, but the truth is we’re just having a fancy dinner. This is another sign of acknowledgement to his mother, I think.

“What do you want to eat?” Devon whispered beside me. Ang kanyang ina ay nasa aming harapan at pinagmamasdan kami. Bago pa ako makasagot ay nag-umpisa na itong maglagay ng iba’t-ibang putahe sa aking plato.

“Yeah, thanks for asking,” sarkastiko kong saad sa kanya. He just smirked at me when he is done filling the whole plate.

The three of us went silent again us we started eating. I’m just slowly chewing the meat since I’m not that hungry and I have no plans of finishing all the food Devon gave me. Maya’t-maya ang pagmasid ko sa ina ni Devon.

She looks so elegant and sophisticated. Intimidating, I should say. But, I’m not intimidated enough. Siguro ay dahil sa una naming pagtatagpo. Una nga ba? Sa palagay ko ay nakaharap ko na siya nong una akong napadpad sa kanilang hawak. Ang kanyang mukha at pangangatawan ay hindi rumireplekto sa kanyang edad. She’s gorgeous. No doubt Devon is a very good looking guy. He got some of her features, but I think Devon resembles his father more. Kahit hindi ko ito nakikita ay alam kung maganda ang kanilang lahi.

“So, you are my mother’s bestfriend?”

Napatigil si Devon at ang kaniyang ina sa pagkain at parehong napatingin sa akin na nagpatuloy lamang. Hindi ko sila binalingan ng tingin, ngunit alam kong may pagtataka sa mukha ni Devon ngayon. Marami pa akong nais na itanong sa pagkakataong ito, pero iyon lamang ang aking unang ipinakawala.

“I almost thought you forgot our encounter at that dark pathway,” aniya. Ngayon ay nag-angat na ako ng tingin at sinalubong ang kanya. “I was actually expecting you to attack me the time you saw me,” she laughed.

“What?” Devon intervened, dumbfounded. “You met her already, Mom?” tanong niya sa kaniyang ina.

“Yes,” ako ang sumagot. “And, we tried to slit each others throat.”

Napatingin sa akin si Devon na gulat sa narinig. He eyed me, waiting for explanation, but I just stared back. That’s the very summary of the story and I don’t know how to explain it firsthand. Nagkibit-balikat na lamang ako at nagpatuloy lamang sa pagkain. Looking back, that was a very weird scenario knowing now that she is his mother.

“Silly,” his mother said, chuckling. “I’m just checking on her that time. I tested her patience and we ended up having a short fight of knife-throwing. Mukhang namana niya kay Amanda ang pagiging short-tempered. I told her that Amanda and I were bestfriends. But, she said she'll still going to kill me since I’m not her bestfriend to keep,” tumawa itong muli sa ikinikwento.

“Hindi mo ito sinabi sa akin,” wika ni Devon sa kanyang ina. It’s not a big deal, anyways.

“Same to you,” makabuluhang sagot naman nito. “You didn’t tell me you’ve finally melted the freezing heart of your cold, cold princess,” humalakhak ito. Hindi ko nasundan ang kanyang sinabi, ngunit mukhang walang namang nakakatawa  rito. Maski si Devon ay natahimik na lamang at napailing. “Amanda would be glad to see her daughter grew up this beautiful,” saad niya maya-maya.

Napatigil ako sa iniinom kung tubig at dahan-dahan na lamang itong ibinaba. I won’t deny that hearing my parent’s name in this kind of normal conversation makes me sensitive. Ilang taon ding sa isip at alaala ko lamang ito nababangit kaya’t naninibago akong marinig ito sa aking mga tenga.

“I am a real friend of your mother,” Mrs. Henderson told me. This time, she became serious. “I know I’m a decade late, but I’m really sorry for what happened to Amanda and Rowell. I’m glad you finally listened to my son after long years of trying. Hindi namin kagustuhan ang nangyare, ngunit huli na kami ng malaman ang plano ni Samuel Navarro. Humihingi ako ng pasensiya bilang matalik na kaibigan ni Amanda. Keeping you protected in mafia is the only thing we could do for you and your parents. I know my son will protect you,” mahabang pahayag niya.

It took me a few seconds to breathe and think. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson,” I said slowly. Bumigkas ako ng mga salitang hindi ko madalas na ginagamit, ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay iyon lamang ang aking naiisip na sabihin.

I felt Devon’s warm hand held mine under the table. I glance at him just beside me, but he wasn’t looking. Though I can still see the glint of his smile evident on his lips.

Our dinner ended in serene. Right after, his mother left because she already needed to. She said she’s having a transaction out of the country, but postponed it a little just for this dinner. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sinikap niyang pumunta rito kahit masyado itong abala. She seems to have a very tight schedule.

Ngayon ay nasa kwarto na ako at naghahandang matulog. Without Devon’s jacket, my fading bruises and stitches became visible. Hindi na ito masakit tulad ng dati basta’t hindi ito nadidiinan. I’m really healing fast. Isang linggo pa at siguradong maaari na akong makalaban muli.

Ilang minuto lang akong nakahiga ay agad na akong hinila ng aking antok. And, this is one of the nights my dream was vivid.

Memories of the past came flashing back…again.

I stood at the familiar training ground of the mafia. Mga hindi ko kilalang mga tao ang naroon ang sumasabak sa matinding ensayo. Nakatayo lamang ako roon at pinagmamasdan sila. Every time one of them glanced at me, they would stop from whatever they’re doing. I remained emotionless while just standing there. I am used to this kind of attention. Tila isa akong kakaibang nilalang na kailangan nilang pagmasdan ang aking mga magiging kilos. Walang sumusubok na lumapit sa akin noon pa man. Kung meron man ay dahil obligado sila. Ang ilan ay naghahanap lamang ng gulo at nais sumubok sa aking kakahayan.

Katahimikan at halos lahat sila ay nakatingin na sa akin. Ito ay mga mapanuring tingin.

The scene drifted to another place. It was a training ground again, but this time it is in our house. The place is full of weapons I used to hold when I was still a child. No one is in here, except me. It was utterly quite and only my footsteps can be heard while I roam around.

‘Di nagtagal at muli itong nagbago.

When I realized where my dream brought me, I gasped. I can feel fear slowly creeping all over my body. I know this scene since it’s been playing in my mind for so many fucking years.

But still, it will left me shook into fear. I will never be immunize of the terror it brings.

The dream became a nightmare. I know this will end up a nightmare when I recognized that I was inside my room at our old house. Muli akong nakaharap sa batang babae na mahimbing na natutulog sa kama.

Kahit alam ko na ang susunod na mangyayare ay agad pa rin ako lumapit sa kanya. I tried to wake her up, but it seems she couldn’t even hear a glint of my shouting voice.

“Aurora!” I called her, shaking her up. “Wake up, now! You need to leave the house! You need to fucking leave!”

Sinubukan kong baguhin ang takbo ng istorya. Kahit sa panaginip lamang. Subalit, mukhang hindi ako mapagbibigyan kahit sa isip kong ito.

Napatigil ako at naestatwa sa kinatatayuan ng makita ang aking mga magulang na humahangos papasok sa kwarto. Sa pagkakataon ito lamang nagising ang batang babae. Kuyum-kuyom ko ang aking kamao habang pinagmamasdan silang tumakbo patakas sa sarili nilang bahay.

Ilang pagsabog muli ang aking narinig. Kahit ayokong sumunod sa kanila ay kusang kumilos ang aking mga paa. Ang mga pamilyar na yapak ng mga tao, putok ng baril at mga bomba ang muling umalingawngaw sa paligid ng bahay.

It was the same scene that keeps repeating over and over again. My reality that turned into my nightmare.

The load noise of the destroyed door shuddered at the floor. Then, Navarro came. I gritted my teeth as I gaze at his smirking face. His eyes shown deviously and you could actually feel that he is always up to no good.

Like I always do, I harshly covered both of my ears with my hands and curled down my spot like a coward. I feel like a real coward right now because I can’t even change a bit of its bloody and horrible ending. I shut my eyes closed and screamed at everyone to stop even though I know no one can hear me.

But then, suddenly, something odd happened. Ako ang napunta sa pwesto ng batang babae habang prinuprutektahan ako ng aking ina at ama. The fear inside of me tripled like I’ve been experiencing it back in reality. It pains me that I can’t move a single step to protect them back in return. I felt a hot liquid flowing down my cheeks. I was crying heavily like the little girl.

And I cried even more when my father got shot and fell down in front of me. His own blood splashed on my face and body. I knew I was shaking as my sight got blocked by tears. I couldn’t almost hear anything clearly right now, but I can see my mother pleading to that evil man. She hugged me, protecting me from the bullets they showered to us. Her blood gushed out to me too as her body slowly slides down, lifeless.

I screamed at the top of my lungs until I can hear it woke me up.

“Aurora, wake up!”

Someone furiously shouted and I got pulled out from my dream completely. I saw Devon gazed at me worriedly the moment I open my eyes. His right hand is clutching my shoulder while the other is resting on the side of face, trying to soothe me down as I breathe deeply and rapidly. I am gasping for air. I can feel my whole body trembling in undeniably fear.

I pulled my self up as I try to resist the panic attack I’m starting to feel. Halos nahihirapan na akong huminga at ‘di makagalaw sa sobrang panginginig. Naninigas na ang aking mga kalamnan. Ramdam ko pa rin ang takot at sakit habang harap-harapan pinatay ang aking mga magulang.

It feels so real. That nightmare is the worst I’ve dream of for now. It left me oppressed by terror.

“Ssh, it’s okay. It’s just a nightmare,” Devon told me. Doon lamang muling pumasok sa aking isipan na kaharap ko nga pala siya. He held my hands, trying to calm me down. And, it did.

To my surprise, he cupped my face and I felt him wipe a liquid off my cheeks. I abruptly gripped his hands and slightly pushed it away from me.

The hell! Am I fucking crying?

Mabilis ko itong pinunasan gamit ang aking sariling mga kamay at pinagmasdan niya na lamang ako. Fuck! I never thought a nightmare would put me this frightened, and worst, crying. I look so vulnerable again to his eyes. Goddamn!

“Are you still scared? Do you want us to talk about it?” he asked, pertaining to my dream. Agad akong umiling.

“I just want to rest. Go back to your room,” I told him instead. Siguro ay narinig niya ang mga sigaw ko kaya’t napadpad ito dito tulad ng naranasan nila Gazelle at Katy. This is so bad. I could imagine it already on how I messed up the bedsheet again.

Hinayaan niya akong muling humiga. Siya na rin ang nag-ayos ng kumot sa aking katawan. I clutch the sheets while gazing at him sit beside me. My heart is beating too fast, but I’m no longer trembling. The painful torture didn’t make me cry, but this… This nightmare made me after so many years. I can’t believe he saw me at this state.

“Matulog ka na. Babantayan kita,” aniya.

“But—”

“Ssh,” he cut me off. “Just sleep. I wont do anything to you,” he said softly. Still, I hesitated. I’m not that comfortable with him looking at me, waiting for me to sleep. Nilipat ko na lamang ang tingin ko sa putting ceiling. Mukhang hindi nga ito aalis hanggat hindi ako matutulog.

Maya-maya ay muli akong nagsalita at binasag ang katahimikan.

“Devon,” tawag ko sa kanya.

“Hmm?”

My eyes didn’t leave the white ceiling. I couldn’t look at him while I gather courage to speak with my hoarse voice. I bit my lips as I try to stop the anxiousness spreading in me.

“Can you forget that you saw me crying?” I said and it came out like a whisper. I’m sure he heard it when a smirk formed on his lips.

He pats my head like I’m a kid, “Sure, Kitten. But can you tell what made my little kitten cry first?”

This time, I look at him. I stared at those rover black eyes and scythe-shaped eyebrows. He hauled an imperious nose well with a concrete jaw. Just by one glance, you know he has a dark flamboyant personality by his devilish aura.

Should I trust this evil descendant of Adam?

“Do you…” I spoke. “Do you know how painful to see the exact scenario of your parent’s death over and over again?”

Silence. He lifted his hand and removed the strands of my hair off my face. “No,” sagot nito at nanatili lamang akong nakatingin sa kanya. “But, I understand your pain,” dagdag niya at lumapit sa akin. He drew near me and planted a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes as I felt his soft lips touched it gently. I almost gasped at his sudden movement. I was damn unprepared. “Sleep now, Aurora.”

And, I thought I couldn’t, but I did. I slept this tiring night away with him watching me.