I pushed past the guard to the wooden door that lead to the infirmary. As soon as my eyes landed on her I involuntarily gaged and my hands flew over my mouth. I felt as if my breath had been knocked out of my chest, and it took all the self control I had not to vomit on the spot.

"Lisanna was hurt again. But this time it was pretty severe."

I shouldn't have come.

In a moments notice arms were wrapping around me and I was being whirled away—out of the room and into fresh air where I gasped, and finally flailed to be released.

"Let—let go!" I insist, my chest heaving, still processing the sight I had just bore witness to.

"Not here," Natsu's voice is gruff, but he is being gentle. I open my mouth to speak but instead of breathing I heave sobs, and finally I begin to understand what I had just seen. My body shakes from fear and disgust—tears run down my face in a mixture of emotions I couldn't begin to list. I stop fighting at this point, and Natsu places me down in the grass a good distance from the infirmary. After my feet touch the ground I stand for a moment but my legs shake and Natsu keeps his arms nearby; I push them away.

"How could a human being be capable of such malice?" My body turns to Natsu and I fear that I look wild and disheveled—but that fear lasts only a moment as I meet his eyes. They show immense pain, and he looks troubled. The fire that usually lights up behind his eyes is gone and replacing it is a shattered and cold reflection of the present. He reaches out and brushes a tear from my eye, and I pull him into an embrace.

I do so not as his pretend princess—not even as myself as a pauper—but as a human being sharing comfort to another person. Even if he is of Dragon lineage, he is still human too. At some point we sink to the ground, still grasping one another. I'm cradled in his lap and my arms are wrapped around his torso.

"Is she even alive?" I finally choke out, my chest heavy, as if a thousand pounds sat atop it.

"Barely. I doubt they will be able to save her arms or repair the damage to her legs and torso," his words are grim. I was at a loss. My mind couldn't fathom together any feasible ways of communicating how I felt. The feelings of being trapped and overwhelmed rushed over me like a tidal wave and I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

I shoved myself from Natsu's arms and stumbled my way up onto my feet, needing to escape these feelings. My eyes landed on a tree line down the hillside and I ran for them as fast as my legs would carry me—ignoring Natsu's shouts from behind me. Everything I felt was incredibly overwhelming. All I wanted was to be home, and to be cradled in my mother's arms.

When I reached the tree line I grabbed onto the nearest tree and leaned over, catching my breath. Tears ran wildly down my face and I yanked my hair clips out of my hair as it was falling out regardless. I heard a commotion up the hill and saw a few knights on horseback riding towards me from the direction of the stable. Natsu stood motionless where I had left him, and from my distance I couldn't see the look on his face.

My emotions surged and I sobbed, hitting the tree with my hands, shouting curses and spitting at the thought of my own existence.

"I hate this!" My voice cracks. "I can't do it anymore..." sobs shake my frame as my voice turns shrill and disappears. I sink to my knees and lean my head against the tree, bawling. I had never felt so deeply before, not even when my mother and father died, nor had I ever felt as if I had kept so much locked inside myself before this.

"Princess..." a voice calls out hesitantly. I do not move.

"It's not safe for you here," another voice chimes in. My head turns in their direction, my ragged breathing moving my frame haphazardly.

"Was it ever?" My words are jagged, and I can see fear in the knights eyes as they sat above me on their horses.

"Miss..." one of them grows quiet. "Please. Prince Natsu is angry—"

"Angry?!" I explode. "Him? Angry at what?" My eyes flick between them and they look between one another with terrified glances.

"Uh- he...he thinks you're trying to run away.." the one to my left says gently. I look down at myself and then around at my immediate surroundings and I let out a bitter laugh.

"Run away? Now, of all times? What does he take me for, a brazen idiot?! What a selfish and arrogant prick I can't believe I even—"

"Just come with us, you can explain it to the Prince later," the knight on the right reaches his hand down to me.

"Explain what? My scattered emotional state?" Tears of anger run hotly down my cheeks and the knights exchange glances again. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose as I sigh.

"Should we get the Prince to retrieve you instead, Princess?" One of them asks and I shake my head.

"I'm capable of walking myself back. Leave, please." My voice is shaky, but much more calm than before.

"I don't think Natsu will be happy if we leave you," the one on the right tells me and I look up at him.

"I don't care what will make him happy right now, sir. I'm trying to cope with seeing my only friend here shredded to pieces and being able to do absolutely nothing to help her," My voice deluded into sobs towards the end and my vision became blurred by tears as I leaned myself into the tree once more, turning my back on the knights and the castle.

I heard the knights leave and a few trapped sobs shook my chest, and I began hugging myself as I let more tears run streaks down my face. I stay there for a while at the base of the tree, crying and sobbing about Lisanna, about my parents, about everything. 

"Lev... I wish I could talk to you.." I mumble to myself after crying myself out, leaned against the tree and surrounded by general silence.

"It's a good thing I'm here then, isn't it?" Levy's voice comes from behind me and I whip around. She's standing on the other side of the tree, and as her arms open I embrace her.

"I saw the worst thing today Lev... this place is hell. I wish I could be home," words fly from my mouth and she releases me to hold my face in her hands.

"I love you. You are my dearest friend, and I'm so sorry I'm the reason you have to be here," she looks pained as she speaks and my blood runs hot.

"I swear I will find a way to make Natsu pay—" Levy plops her hand over my mouth and she shakes her head.

"No. You shouldn't, you would be as bad as those you detest the most. Find love and peace within you, because I know it's there. You have already caused a change here without even knowing it," she smiles at me.

I stammer, "Change? I changed what?"

She laughed softly. "Natsu brought me here to comfort you, because he didn't know how," she releases her hold on me. "You've stirred something up, Lu. And as much as I would love to stay and talk about it my time is limited," she looks over her shoulder and my gaze follows hers to see the knights from earlier come riding back down the hill towards us. "Have faith in yourself to make it through this. I believe in you."

The knights arrive and she backs towards them and I reach for her and plea, "Levy, wait, can't you stay?" She shakes her head.

"Go. Talk to him. I'll see you when this is over," she comforts me before being lifted onto one of the horses and waving as she is ridden away, towards the main gate. The other knight reaches for me and this time I accept the hand, and lift myself onto the saddle. We ride back towards the castle, and I am helped off and led inside by a staff member.

"Could you... take me to see Natsu, please?" She turns and looks at me before nodding.

"Yes, princess."

I wring my hands nervously as I follow her to wherever Natsu is. I pull my hands apart and tell myself I have no reason to be nervous—I've done nothing wrong, and I refuse to be intimidated by him.

The girl comes to a stop before a dark oak door that seems to loom over us. She pushes the door open and gestures inside, giving me a small bow and she tells me quietly, "He's in here, Princess."

I nod to her and enter carefully, soaking in my surroundings. It's a library, with shelves that seems to reach upwards endlessly into a ceiling painted like the sky, and lighting that was just bright enough for you to see, but dim enough to be relaxing. I turn my head and see Natsu to my right, standing before a shelf with an open book in his left hand, his eyes trained on the shelf in front of him as he reached for another book on the shelf. The door to the library closes behind me, and though the thump is soft it echoes, and it grabs his attention.

When he looks up at me I freeze. He slowly closes the book in his hand and as he brings them together he turns to me and begins making his way across the floor towards me. Along the way he sets the two books on a small table by a set of chairs, but he does so without looking away from me. I bite my lip and I quickly rack my brain for something to say.

"I-I wasn't—" I stammer my first words, and heat flushes my face. "I wasn't running away, even if I wanted to... I wouldn't do it now or like this. I'm not that kind of person. Not to mention what could happen to Levy—I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her too." Natsu has continued toward me as I spoke, and now as he reaches me he just pulls me into a hug and my whole body goes rigid.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs into my hair and he caresses it and my breath catches. He's... apologizing to me? "I'm sorry for assuming terrible things of you after you experienced something traumatic like this." He pulls back and rests his hands on the sides of my arms. He brushes my hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear. My eyes shift downward and then around us to our surroundings. When I meet his eyes again I quietly ask him if we are being watched.

"No." He shakes his head and my look becomes one of bewilderment.

"Then...why?" My question is hesitant. "Why are you acting so... so..." I search for the word I meant to use.

"Kindly?" He finishes, raising an eyebrow slightly.

I nod, "Y-yes. Though I think I meant more along the lines of compassionately..." his hands move up to hold my face as I speak.

"Lucy, it's because, it's what you need right now. Even if you're here by force, I still am obliged to take care of you. All of you." He takes a small step closer to me and now he's so close I could lift my fingers and touch him. My eyes drift down to our hands and then slowly the begin to drift back up, and I can see the light stubble across his face. As my eyes move up his face and finally back to his eyes what I see is something I haven't ever seen before. Not from him, or anyone else for that matter. It was undeniably warm, but there was something else too.

Suddenly, he clears his throat and looks away, shaking us both from our moment. "I..I um, I'm going to let you visit with Levy. Whenever you wish to. I realize I was a bit cruel to isolate you entirely, and after how you reacted to seeing Lisanna..." he scratched the back of his neck nervously. A smile broke out across my face and I flung my arms around him and squeezed him tightly in a hug.

"Thank you!" I gasp elatedly. "Thank you so much."

He smiles and looks down at me. "It's only right. You are my princess after all," he says gently, and after a moment I release him. "If you're up to it, your lessons are meant to continue today. If not however, I'll just let the staff know," he offers. I shake my head.

"No need. It would be better if I were to keep busy," I tell him. He nods I response.

"We can also go see Lisanna this evening after dinner if the physicians approve of it," he informs me with some hesitance. I nod slowly.

"Alright. I'm going to head to my lessons now, so I'll leave you in peace," I give him a slight bow of thanks and quickly make my way out. When the door closes behind me I lean against it momentarily.

Levy was right, something has certainly changed.

• • •

Wow! Finally, another update a whole year later! (I am so sorry...)

I don't mean for these to take so long, but I get caught up in day to day life and work and school—you know the works.

But, I've managed to get an update out! Hopefully I'll be able to write much more throughout the next month and a half before college starts and even so continue after that.

Thank you all so much who continue to read and support my work even with how terribly infrequent I am (I'm awful).

If you want to keep up with me, see what I'm up to and make sure I haven't fallen off the face of the planet, you can add me on Snapchat; @ BlueBear180 or follow me on Instagram: @ kelz.o

I love you all.

Love you lots!
-kels