NASRIN

I just finished taking my bathe and thought of what to do to wheel away some time. To be honest, I'm bored as hell. I've never thought that I could live a life like this and then wouldn't scream my lungs out at any chance I got, because, what the hell? My life is practically the same every single day.

I wake up to pray my Subh salah and then stay for some time to do my azhkar. After that, I quickly get out to make sure the house is clean and then make myself breakfast. I always make the breakfast extra, and even though everyday it was like a mantra to myself that I didn't make the extra for him-I knew deep down that I could lie to anyone but myself.

I made the extra for him, because I want him to eat. Damn the man, I didn't want him to starve. But if you could ask me, I still want to dive a sword right into his chest and watch him bleed to death. But every single day, he had never eaten the meal and today marked the seventh day of me staying in the house.

No, I haven't seen him in those seven days. Maybe once or twice, I've heard his voice speaking with Jamal but I've never went out. Because I quickly come back to my room after making the breakfast and I wouldn't go out until I was sure I heard him driving out of the house.

I think that's the only free time I have, before he came back from work. I made lunch, ate, and watched the TV. And the moment I saw 4pm glaring into my eyes, I knew better than to stay in the living room and make the mistake of seeing him. And that would be the last time I'd come out of my room until the next day. Jamal came, to check up on us and that's the sweetest gesture I've ever received in a while.

Each day, he came to my room and we spoke for a minute. He loved taking Muniba and playing with her even though she didn't even understand what he was doing to her. But I loved watching him play with her. It was like the father figure she would never have. I quickly pushed that thought away as I put on my clothes in the bathroom.

Because even though Jamal had never came to my room without knocking and asking to come in, unless in the mornings, I was never free enough to come out of the bathroom without my clothes on. Maybe I was still stuck to my life in the hidden house.

I wrapped my hair roughly around my rubber band and put on my cap. With a small smile, because these days, Muniba slept very late and I was thankful for that. Because she slept in in the morning, giving me more than enough chance to get the house ready without bothering myself about her.

But the sight in front of me wasn't what I expected. I froze in front of the bathroom and stared, without blinking. I swear, I could hear the thump thump sound of my heart as it beat as wildly as it had never beat before. Okay, maybe it had beaten like this once. The first day I came to this apartment and found him sleeping in his room. I could feel my lungs trying to suffocate because there wasn't enough air getting to them.

Just that this time, I wasn't fantasizing over him. I'm freaking the hell out! What the hell was he doing in my room? Sleeping beside Muniba that chose to be waggling her hands over his body. She didn't seem to mind that Zafir freaking Anas Garko was sleeping right beside her! Girl needed to either scream or get all over him!

I needed to collect myself. I knew deep down that it wasn't dangerous, he was probably wasted and stumbled into my room, but then there was no way I could do that. First, I need to get my daughter away from his vicinity. Stealthily, I moved close to her and snatched her away from his side.

"Muniba!" I whispered and she opened her eye to stare brightly at me. "You need to scream if something like this happens, okay? He's a beast, he'd end our lives for good, okay?" She was just staring at me. Because obviously, I wasn't even understanding what I was saying for her to comprehend that too.

I moved her to the sofa and created enough barriers to stop her from rolling down, not that she moved excessively. She was still young for that. And when I gulped down a lump in my throat and walked back to the bed, I thought, for a slight moment, that this was the perfect time for me to kill him. One, no one knew I was here but Jamal and I'd make sure I hide away from him for the rest of our lives.

But the beast looked so irresistible I could die! Damn him for being so beautiful!

Carefully, I tapped the space beside him and he softly groaned. "I think you're in the wrong room, please." I said softly and watched the way he hadn't even flinched. I was close...so close enough to make out the crease lines on his forehead and I knew so well that being this close to Zafir was dangerous, but I stood still.

"Can you please wake up and go to your room? I need to sleep." I said again, a bit higher than the last time and I watched him squirm. "Please, you said I should do all I can to avoid you, but here you are, invading my private space." I couldn't help being angry with him.

Zafir had this notion that he could do whatever he could and no one dared point a finger at him. Because he was the supposed freaking first son of the country and we all were expected to respect him. But that didn't apply to me. Because I used to more than respected him. I loved him. Became obsessed with him.

And what happened?

Just the mere thought of that terrible memory of mine made anger blasted into my heart and I didn't know when I began tapping his arm aggressively. "Zafir, you need to wake up and go back to your room!" I urged, not taking it lightly even though I could see it from his looks that he was uncomfortable with what I was doing.

"Leave me alone!" He drawled and yanked my hand away from his arm. "I can sleep wherever I can, it's my freaking house!"

"Well, I know it's your house and we're in the Villa supposed to be approved by the whole nation to be lived in by your family. But for this room, it's mine now. At least for the time I'm going to spend here. So, you either get the hell out of here or I'll call Jamal right now and ask him to come and pick me up!" I kicked his leg that was slumped on the edge. He was so tall for his own goodness.

"Jamal?" He questioned sleepily. Or if I were to be a better judge of his current situation; drunkily.

"Yes, Jamal. You need to wake up, or I'll call him and tell him that you've had too much beer and have now ended up in my room. You choose the one you want." I poke at his shoulder to make sure he was halfway awake to hear what I was saying.

"I'm sleeping here. I don't even know who you are, get the hell out of my room!" He thundered. And even though it was supposed to be drunk-induced thunder, it freaked the hell out of me. Because he sounded so angry as though he had something huge on his mind before he slept off.

Knowing I wasn't strong enough to move Zafir, I decided on the only thing I knew could save us. I picked up a diaper and the things Muniba usually needed for the night and walked to the other room, thankful that he didn't have just two rooms in the house. Because if he did, then I would have to end up sleeping in the living room because there was no way I was going to sleep in his room!

I changed her diaper while grumbling about how much I hate him. Because I might not say it often, but wallah I hate him so much. And I will never forgive him, even if he were to kneel down, crying and begging me to. I'd never do that. Not that it was ever going to happen, anyway. Just some wishful thinking. And with the thoughts of how much I could do anything not to ever see him again, I fell asleep with Muniba cradled to my chest.

§

I ended up sleeping in. I didn't pray Subh until it was morning, no longer dawn. I prayed and said my azhkar before I quickly went out and started cleaning the house. It wasn't like there was someone to mess with the house. But for some odd reason, I stick to Gwaggo Jummai's warning about him wanting the house as clean as it could get.

Gwaggo Jummai...her thought threatened a tear out of my eyes and I quickly shook my face to get her thought off of my chest. I continued to work while I cooked the breakfast. Thank god Muniba was still asleep, I wouldn't have had enough time to work on everything.

I finished everything, burnt the bakhoor and went in to take my bathe. I was done getting ready and was thinking about when the hell would he wake up and give back my room. When it took quite some time and there wasn't any sign of his movement, I walked out so that I can at least, be able to eat my breakfast in peace.

My jaw nearly dropped at the sight before my eyes. I shook my head and palmed my eyes softly. Maybe there was something in my eyes and I was beginning to imagine the things that weren't actually there. Because, there was no way it could be Zafir, eating the food I've cooked.

I gulped down a lump in my throat, trying all I could not to laugh at him. Weren't he the one that said he would never eat what I cooked? And it's the same him that was eating the food as though he had gone the whole week without eating a single grain of food.

I walked silently to the dining table, making sure that he didn't hear me coming until he was about to take the spoonful into his mouth and I cleared my throat, forcing him to look up to me. With amusement dangling in my eyes, I smiled at him.

"Good morning," I greeted and I could see the way he was trying so hard to stay sane.

He quickly placed down the spoon and tried to stand up. But before he made his next move, the laughter I've been trying to buckle inside burst out of me and I broke into a peal of laughter. Ya Rabb, it felt so good laughing this way.

He was staring at me with a look that said he wanted to smack the life out of me if he could, and that made me laugh harder. Because obviously, this was how an embarrassed Zafir looked like.

"I thought you said you'd never eat my food?" I asked with a teasing tone and pulled the chair opposite him and sat down.

Maybe what I said made him abort his mission of dropping the food and he stared at me until I served myself and sat back. "Is this what you always do? Sneak and eat, maybe wash the plate so I won't notice?"

"What I want to know is how you get so comfortable around me. Is one week the least you can act upon a rule?" Came his sarcastic and icy reply that sent a shiver right down my spine. But I masked up my emotions and acted as though there wasn't a certain place in my body that was unnerved by his unmoving gaze.

"You broke the rule first, remember?" I was trying as much as I could to act as respectful as I could. Because I knew, now that Jamal wasn't here, Zafir wouldn't take anything lightly with me. Especially after I've caught him eating the meal he promised he would never even look.

"I can't remember breaking any rule." But he took his eyes off me after he said it, and reluctantly took the spoon and continued to eat.

I stared at the way he was eating calmly, as though if there was a storm going on outside, he'd still look this calm. I was amused, but a part of me still wanted to strangle him to death.

"How do I feel like you do? Because even if you don't remember what happened yesterday at night, you must've seen yourself in my room this morning." I said accusatively and he didn't look up at me.

"It's my house, I can sleep wherever I want." He said and kept on eating. And today, I'm amazed that he even bothered to be replying everything I said would be an understatement.

I knew I wouldn't always be this lucky when it came to him. So, I intended to use today to the best of my ability. There was this part of me that liked it when he spoke to me, even if he wasn't saying anything good. At least he was referring to me and not acting as though I was one kind of some nonexistent creature.

"What if you had been sober enough to see us the way we were? Muniba was on the bed you slumped on and you nearly used her little stomach as your pillow. And I was...showering when you came in, do you still call that your right to sleep anywhere you want?" I fixed him with my gaze. I didn't know if the way his eyes moved was his way of being unnerved, but he had to gulp down the drink I made to maybe clear his head? Only god knew.

He stood to his feet and just when I thought an apology would come out of his mouth, the smug look on his face was back and I had to remain calm not to threw the fork in my hand right into his eyes. "You should probably learn how to lock a door, then. Because I can't guaranty that it won't happen again."

The beast! I fumed as I watched him walked to his room before I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts. Ya Rabb, it would take a lot of self restraint to not kill Zafir for the course of my stay. But I knew so well that I had to stay here, for my so called safety like Jamal said. Even though if things kept happening like this, I may not be as safe as I would be with his cousin as I would be with Zafir.