NASRIN

Jamal waited until I was done changing her diaper before we walked out of the room together. Even though I've did all things possible for Muniba, she began to cry and I knew without doubt that my baby had come to the limit she could endure her hunger. At least, she tried for me. This made me realized that if we walk out of this house-which we certainly will-she'd be patient enough for me.

"I...umm..." it felt strange to ask him about it, so I stuttered and he chuckled, raising an eyebrow to let me know that I can continue. "Did you please buy her milk? It feels weird asking you all this." I managed to utter and he motioned his head towards the living room.

"I did," he said with a smile and we walked further into the living room. By now, the bakhoor scented heavenly, it burnt and gave this scent that I wished I could sleep in. But no, I've got more important things to do and sleeping wasn't one of them, not even close.

I placed down Muniba carefully on one of the sofas and went to check the nylons he had brought before I found her milk. "Will you please watch over her for me? I need to go to the kitchen and make it for her." I lifted the can of the milk and waited until he nodded his head before I walked away.

I knew it wasn't safe leaving Muniba with him, but then, I couldn't do everything alone. This was a hard thing to accept, that I couldn't do everything on my own. I needed some help, one way or the other. And working while Muniba was with me was one of the things I needed most help with.

I heard some footsteps into the kitchen and immediately turned with the words, "Don't tell me you've left her alone in the living room? It's not safe, Jamal!" My protective instincts were already up and I was staring at him hopefully when my eyes met with the exact opposite of Jamal's.

His orbs were warm and tender, filled with kindness, but these...the orbs that stared back at me were cold and filled with nothing but heartlessness. Before, a year ago, that is-I used to be angry at those blogs that described Zafir as a human robot. And when I saw some people commenting bad about him and how some of them hated him without ever having to meet him, I ended up getting blocked from the page by the owners because of the amount of insults I shoot at everyone of them.

But now, I've seen and was still seeing that side of him I've refused to accept. But I was forced to, by him. The beast!

I hissed softy and turned away from him, I didn't want to interact with him and at the same time, I was sacred. I didn't forget what I did to him minutes ago, if he wanted, he could punish me for that.

I was working on the milk when I heard him opened the fridge and gasped outwardly. "What the hell is this? Where are the things I kept in my fridge?" He bellowed and I could feel him turning to face me completely.

And right now...it's my time to act as though he didn't exist. And I did that exactly even though my heart could jump out of its socket due to the fear of what he would do to me if that angered him. And now, Jamal wasn't in proximity, and there were enough kitchen knives to kill and slice me to cubes without any hassle.

"I'm talking to you, where are my bottles?" I didn't have to turn to face him to know that he was bawling at me and that his eyes had turned red due to the anger he felt.

I ignored him still and was thankful that I was done making Muniba's milk, so I walked out of the kitchen and I could feel his eyes on me. He followed me outside and was stomping his feet when I rushed to the living room before he snatched me on the way and strangle me to death.

The moment I saw Jamal seated on the sofa as he rocked Muniba, something melted in my heart. He was so good, this man. I wondered how he was even friends with this monster that answered the name of Zafir.

"Jamal," I heard his clipped tone the moment I sat down and collected Muniba from Jamal.

"Yes, do you want something, Zafir?" He asked him with all seriousness and turned slightly to my direction. "Did you do something again, Nasrin?" He whispered to my hearing and I shook my head while shrugging.

"It's either she tell me where she kept my bottles or I won't be responsible for what I'd do to her. I've been tolerating her enough as it is, thanks to you." His voice was enigmatic to have me peeing on myself right now, but I kept a poker face and acted like I didn't know who he was referring to.

Until Jamal turned to me. "Where are his bottles, Nasrin?" He asked, but I could see his eyes begging me not to drag this on longer than it was. There was confusion in his eyes, probably wondering where I got the nerves to be acting this way around Zafir and how I could hate him so much when this was our first meeting.

"I threw them all out. They've written that it was alcoholic and I thought maybe it was a mistake of order or something." I said innocently, because that was really what I thought. But now that I've seen him, how agitated he was acting while asking about his bottles, I'm sure he bought them purposely.

"If I had known he was an alcoholic, I wouldn't have blamed him on a lot of things. At least, every foul behavior of his is expected, or even worse of that, from an addict." The words were too much, I knew. It was far beyond the league of what a maid could say, I knew. But I couldn't clip them back once they formed in my throat.

I had turned my attention back on Muniba as I fed her when I felt a strong hand clasped on my wrist and he yanked me on my feet forcefully. Muniba slipped out of my hold, and before I could grasp her with my other hand, he had began dragging me out of the living room.

I heard when she landed on the floor and gave out a cry that came directly from her heart. "What do you think you've done?!" Tears had already accumulated in my eyes and I wanted nothing but to hold my baby and console her. But he was dragging me so hard that despite the amount of energy I used in trying to pull my hand away from his hold, I couldn't.

Until he threw me out of his door and I fell, my tears falling harder than they should. I don't even know why this was making me cry, or why in the whole world my heart was aching terribly. What happened to Muniba aside, this wasn't just about her.

I mean, after what I did and said to him, this was him being merciful if all he could do is throw me out and then bash some words at me-"Who do you think you are to be saying those words to me?! I guess you must've never had an encounter with me, did you?!" He thundered, and I flinched.

His eyes were a shade of blood and from the way he was clutching his fist, I could tell he was trying to hold himself back-solely because of Jamal. If not, I would've been diced joyously at the moment.

"Don't you dare open that filthy and worthless mouth of yours and think that you could say every word you wanted, get it? I'm not someone you could mess with the way you want, I'm far beyond that and I could destroy your entire life with just a flick of my fingers." I couldn't argue to that. Because he had done that once, and doing it one more time wouldn't be so hard for him.

"If you think this baby hatred you have towards me is something, wait until I snatch away all the things you love and care for in your life and then...you'd know what hating me actually is like. Stupid woman." He hissed to my face and stomped back into the living room, nearly bumping into Jamal on his way.

Jamal came out with Muniba that had tears all over her face and my heart became a shamble of emotions. I broke into tears, even though I had been crying for so long. Because after this, I really had this silent wish that he would change for the better. Okay, if not change, maybe he would be a bit lenient and I wouldn't have to hate him as much as I do.

I knew it was a foolish thought, but again-this stupid heart of mine once loved him, was obsessed even-I think those moments of weakness were expectant of her. I stretched out my hands as I wiped at my tears. Jamal shook his head and smiled warmly before he found a space beside me and sat down, leaning his head back on the wall.

"Can I have the baby, please?" I asked with a croaked voice and he shook his head again, cradling Muniba closer to his body and that's when I saw the pacifier she had in her mouth. "You bought her a pacifier?" I couldn't help but ask, wiping at my tears and trying as much as I could to keep this pain in my heart at bay.

He chuckled and leaned to watch Muniba's face. "Yes, the attendant in the mall recommended all the good things for a baby. And she wasn't lying, it's working." He said and a triumphant smile stretched over his face. "Come on, I need to talk to you."

I sat upright, away from him and leaned my body the way he did on the wall. I didn't know who this man was, but he had shown me the kindness I hadn't seen for over a year now. And even though I knew I should hate him for being Zafir's friend, I couldn't help but like and be grateful to him.

"What's with you and Zafir?" He asked, and I nearly lost my breath. I flashed him a confused look and he chuckled, moving Muniba carefully on his hand because she had already started sleeping.

"I know you've never seen him before, you might've only heard his name around town. But has he ever done something you despised him for and now seeing him in person confirmed your dislike for him or what?" As if he knew what would be my answer, he added, "Because everyone loves Zafir the first time they meet, amazed by him even. And it's baffling to see you disliking him outwardly at the first meeting."

I chuckled and wiped off the remaining tears from my face. "I don't dislike him, Jamal..." I began and could see the way his body eased, relief washing over him. As though knowing this, he had it in his mind that it would be much easier living with Zafir, for me. "I hate him."

He coughed for a moment and stared at me blankly. "What does that mean?"

I shrugged, "It means nothing. I just hate him so much that I know for a fact that I can't work for him, it would be a disaster, honestly." I tried to lock away all my emotions because the last thing I would want is Jamal knowing the things that stayed deep in my heart. Since they both didn't remember me, I'd love for it to stay that way. So I can hate him peace and make things hard on him.

"I think I can understand you, but you have to see things from my own point of view, Nasrin. I know that you want me to just leave you alone as you go about your life, but I honestly can't do that. Even for this girl, I can't let you wander around. If yesterday you were robbed, who knows what will happen to you today or tomorrow?"

I just watched him as he fixed his eyes on me and spoke with utmost sincerity. "I can't treat you the way I won't treat my sisters. You're like a sister to me and it's obvious you've had life pretty hard, but I want to be there for you. I stay with my cousin and if not because I know he would never keep his eyes and hands off you, I would've taken you home with me. But just like I've forbidden my sisters from talking to him, I can't take you there in the quest that I want a shelter for you.

"I could buy you a house, rent one for you, but you're too young for all of that. It's so inappropriate. Both Zafir and you need help, and if I could say, need each other." The look I shot him made him laugh as he lifted his hand up in a surrender gesture.

"I need help, quite alright, but I would rather die than need his help or need him as you said it," I said through gritted teeth and he chuckled before he nodded his head.

"Anyways, this is the safest place for you, Nasrin. I've known Zafir since we were kids, I know the type of person he is, and I could entrust my sister to him." I nearly burst out laughing. He thought he knew Zafir, but truth was, there were still things about him that he didn't know.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, resigned. Because I couldn't burst his bubbles. Because I respected him so much and I also need this help he wanted to so badly to offer to me.

"I want you to work for him. You can see the situation you've met his house, it's so unhealthy for him. And then there's his addiction, I don't know how you can help with that too, but maybe just someone else's presence in the house would make him lessen it." I urged to speak when he shook his head at me, "Please, Nasrin, I'd also be at ease knowing you're safe here. And Muniba is, too."

There was no way I could say no to him, to this. "What if he doesn't want me to work for him?" Because I could see that happening. And even if he agreed for me to work for him, I could tell that just like I'd have to accept this because of Jamal, he was going to do the same.

"He doesn't, but he will." He smiled at me and got to his feet, "Let's go back so you can eat, I'm sure you're starving." And my stomach chose that very moment to growl so hard that I had to palm my face. Jamal only laughed and I watched the way he tenderly placed Muniba on his shoulder and walked into the living room.

I knew that I shouldn't go back into this house for the second time, not after being thrown out by him now, but I'd do this. Because no matter how stubborn I was, I knew better than to reject an offer of help from Jamal because it seemed like the only help the universe was willing to offer was through him.

I was surprised to see the dining table set and Jamal waved at me from there. "Come over and eat, before your stomach cries again." I chuckled and stood where I was. I would've walked to him if Zafir wasn't also on the dining table. Moreover, I haven't seen Muniba.

"Where's Muniba?" I asked instead, walking two feet further.

"I took her back to the room, so she can sleep comfortably." I nodded my head and made no attempt of walking further. "Come on, the food is already cold as it is, unless you want it to become inedible."

I nodded my head and my eyes wandered to where Zafir was, acting as though there weren't humans together and conversing where he was. He followed my gaze and an easy smile stretched on his lips. "Oh, y'all need to talk. Come on, Nasrin!"

I took tentative steps towards the dining table and stood by the side. Jamal pulled the chair beside him for me and I gulped down a lump in my throat before I sat on it. And only when I did that, did I realize that it was directly facing Zafir and I didn't know how in the world I was expected to eat in this situation.

I hate him so much. And I'm afraid of him. What combination could be worse than this? None, I bet.

"I'll just eat in that room," I said and began to serve myself on the plate.

"Rule No: 1, the dining table is meant for eating. So, food should strictly be eaten on it." I would've sworn he wasn't the one that just spoke if not for the fact that I know Jamal wouldn't sound like this.

I turned to Jamal and he chuckled softly. I guessed that was my cue to follow the first rule before more were set for me. I served myself and sat back on the chair, throwing all kinds of curses at him.

As if he knew what was going through my mind, he lifted his face towards me and our eyes met. Holy god! This man could kill me tonight! He looked murderous, like the beast he was. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat and dug into my plate.