Jisung's POV

I went to a restaurant and ordered pizza as I planned. The only person I didn't expect to see when I was there was Changbin who I hadn't seen these past few months. We made eye contact and it was a bit awkward. It might be due to the fact I used to be close to him in high school and now he was looking at me as if I was a stranger. He gave me a nod as to acknowledge my presence. I wasn't going to be a rude person and followed his polite action.

"Buying food for dinner?", He was the one who had approached me first and even if it was awkward for me, I still nodded and smiled sheepishly. Had Changbin always been this intimidating? The older guy I knew used to be so friendly and smiley.

Realising my uncomfortableness, he took a step away and smiled while folding his arms together. "Yeah...what about you, hyung?", That was a stupid question. Of course, he was there to buy food for dinner to.

"Just waiting for Seungmin and Jeongin", the mention of the name Jeongin picked my interest. "Jeongin? I thought he will be back in another few days"

Changbin shook his head. "Nah, he just didn't want all of you to bombard him as soon as he returned. So, he made a small lie", what's with that kid? He shouldn't be worrying about that kind of thing. The others were too busy to even meet each other in daily basis, I doubted they will bombard him.

"Jisung", Changbin called. He was looking at me strangely and I wasn't fazed by it. I was already used to it. Meeting one of my friends, them giving me side glances then staring at me as if I lost my mind or narrowing their eyes at me strangely, calling my name out of nowhere and lastly they will reveal something shocking to me. It's the same pattern everytime. You just get used to it. I just hoped this time I didn't have to explain why I was acting weird in his eyes.

"Are you going to say I'm acting weird too?", He raised his brows, shocked to see the look in my eyes that were shooting him with the 'been here, done this' gaze.

"Yeah...I was going to say that but nevermind. Are you and Hyunjin fine?", He was seeking for confirmation. I could sense it. "We're completely fine and happy", I hoped that gave him a clear vision of how we were doing. It was a long road but we were definitely happy.

Changbin's silence was starting to make me wary. Just when my order arrived, he held my hand and asked. "The last time you called me. What was that?"

See? It was another riddle to solve. How do I answer him that even I didn't know that?

"When?", I pulled a business smile and tilted my head, trying to act innocent.

He slowly let go of my hand and backed away. "Nevermind", he threw his bag strap over his shoulder seeming to be ready to walk out until I stopped him. "You said you were waiting for Seungmin and Jeongin"

I glanced at my watch and told him I had a few minutes to spare before going home.

I sat down inside the restaurant and started thinking again. It wouldn't be difficult to go through my memories since Changbin mentioned about it. So, I tried hard to think about it.

Hrm, it seemed like Changbin wasn't lying. I did called him but he didn't picked up and I called him when I was at home. Hyunjin wasn't home because he had dinner with his co-workers.

"To be honest. I don't remember why I called you. Maybe I was drunk because I don't recall why I called you", if I say this, it wouldn't appear so fishy. "Do you have any idea why I would call you?"

From the way he was nibbling his lips, I'm 100% sure an idea popped in his thought. "You weren't trying to end it?", End it?

"Didn't you send me a text before that? You said you will end it." I shook my head. "What would I want to end?", Wow, I might be really drunk that night because I did woke up with headache that day and now I remembered nothing about it.

The mood suddenly changed. The look in Changbin's eyes were anger. It wasn't disguised, he wasn't hiding his emotions from me. "You felt guilty because of what you did to Hyunjin. That's why you wanted to end it. You want to divorce Hyunjin, didn't you?", That was almost the most absurd thing I had heard today.

Maybe I was a bit insecure about my memories but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't pull that kind of shit. I held my hand in front of his face and rubbed my forehead. "I- what now?"

"Didn't you dated Hyunjin back in high school because you felt guilty that you threw his acceptance letter?", Well, I didn't know about that but that did sound convincing. However, I wasn't someone pity who will just date someone because I felt guilty. "You thought I didn't know, did you? I heard you talking with your old man in the staff room."

Moreover, just because of that I stayed with him for 10 years? This person really wanted to make me punch him in the face. He was being moody towards me because of this? "Everytime I meet you and Hyunjin, you always avoid talking with him. I thought it's not possible that after 10 years you wouldn't have feeling for him but you start to distance yourself again"

I held my hand in front of him, stopping him from anymore words that will cause me headache. Him out of all people believed I did that? Disappointment wasn't the only emotion I felt at that moment.

"I would take it as I distanced myself enough I told you completely nothing", since if he was talking about me than nobody knew me better than me. I would have been a coward that said nothing to anybody about this. "Huh?", And I would also take his confusion as he didn't try to talk about it with me because he still thought of me as a friend and a junior he always took care of.

"I didn't throw the acceptance letter", there was a surprised look on Changbin's face but he wasn't convinced yet. "You know I'm not like that and I'm not petty enough to stay with someone I don't like for 10 years"

Plus, this wasn't some morning drama that always played in the TV. I would mess up in just a few days, hours maybe if I really didn't like Hyunjin. Hate to admit it but I already accepted the fact I asked Hyunjin out first.

"I don't know who threw it and definitely don't know who deleted his mail. I don't have any bad intention towards him."

"I had been distance because of something... It's nothing you would be interested in. Hyunjin knows that I had some troubles and I'm thinking of opening up to him now", it was nice to know we had someone to look over us for. Changbin relaxed in his seat, his eyes were gentler than before. It didn't take that long for him to believe me because I'm not the type that was good at lying. If I was lying, he would probably be glaring at me by now.

The doorbell rang and two figure walked in, it was Seungmin and Jeongin. I wanted to stay around but I'm pretty sure, Hyunjin will be starving if I don't return soon. "Nice to see you guys again but I don't want Hyunjin to die starving", I jokingly said, lifting up the box of pizza inside a plastic. They nodded and freed me from taking too much time talking to them.

I returned home by boarding a cab, I should have just went home this morning and used my car instead. Becoming an adult, I realized everything looked expensive to me. Managing your own money made everything looked expensive.

"Hyunjin, I'm home", I said, unconsciously tiptoeing my way in because of the dark living room.

"????", There was no answer. I slapped the switch on, wheezing at the pain I felt on my palm and telling myself it wasn't a good idea to slap the switch on everytime.

I plopped the box down on the kitchen counter, taking of my coat and placing them on the living room sofa. "Hyunjin?", Now that I realized it, I didn't see his car outside.

I looked at my phone, my text was still marked with one tick which indicate he hadn't read my message. I raised my hand again, pulling it closer to my lips before I started nibbling on my nail again. "What is he doing out this late?"

If he was returning late, he would have told me or at least tried to contact me.

It wasn't long until tiredness took over me and my eyelid became heavy. It was 3 in the morning and I was cursing myself for sleeping on the sofa. Weirdly, I didn't feel stiff from the hard sofa and neither was I on the sofa.

Someone had lifted and carried me into our room. I turned my head, adjusting my sight with the darkness. "Hyunjin?"

The other party hummed, taking my hand and cupping his face with it. "Can't sleep?"

I shook my head. "When did you come back?" This time I was angry. He probably realized that too and slowly grazed his finger against my cheek. "A bit around 12?"

Then the smell of alcohol hit me. I pushed him away slightly, pinching the tip of my nose to cover it. "Did you drink?"

He hummed again, whining when I pulled away from him. He grabbed me by my waist and nuzzled against me. "Hyunjin! You stink!" There was no response, just incoherent mumbles.

I had no choice but to pat his head and admit defeat. "You better not get hangover tomorrow. I still need to talk to you.", I wanted to tell him that I also met Changbin and seemed to... reconciled? Whatever I did that day that I called him was most probably because I wanted to make it right and by ending it, I probably wanted to come clear with everyone.

Everything was coming into places this time, wasn't it? Though after this I would need to find a way to bring every each of us together again and just have some leisure time? Felix would probably be a bit awkward around us. I could say the same for the others too. Seeing how we hadn't seen each other for ages. The adult version of my friends would be different than the crazy teenagers I knew but they wouldn't be that different. In the end, they were still my friends and Hyunjin's.

"Can't promise you", Hyunjin said, his breath hitting my neck and I winced at the way he cradled against me, nuzzling his nose at the crook of my neck. He was clinging at me as if I was a body sized pillow. "What do I do with you?", I asked in defeat, pushing some hair from his face so that I could see his face in it's full glory.

"I trust you alright?", I had closed my eyes but snapped them back right up when Hyunjin suddenly said that.

"...", My eyes looked at him lazily. He had been waiting for so long for me. I got all the answers I wanted, found out everything I should knew. Though there were still some issues I didn't know of but I could finally talk about it.  Maybe, an explanation wasn't the only thing he needed. Sure, we had intimate moments and sometimes we even went far from just holding hands.

It was the time to give him the clarity he needed.

-

And I'm back 👁️👄👁️-hunny