"Oh you got a new bitch? You think you got a new bitch? She ain't a new bitch, she's a used bitch. She aint got nothing on me"

Alyssa Whitaker | Lysa💙

I was waiting for JC to come with my babygirl, I just wanted to see her. Knowing we both made it is a miracle, we beat the odds like I knew we would.

JC came in and he immediately ran to my side hugging me and smashing his lips on mine. He wouldn't let me go and he kept whispering I love you.

"JC I'm here baby, I made it. We beat the odds." I smiled.

"Alyssa-" He sighed putting his head down. "You beat the odds."

"What you mean baby?"

"Our daughter didn't make it."

You ever felt like your whole world was crashing down by just a sentence?

That's what I was feeling.

My heart was broken and I don't know what can I do to prepare for this. I was so focused on me surviving out the surgery when I never thought about Kaijah surviving.

"Alyssa baby talk to me."

"Okay."

"What you mean okay?"

"I guess I wasn't ready for a baby right now. It's okay, I'm okay."

I'm not okay.

"Alyssa no one is just okay with a human being they carried in their stomach for 9 months dying, don't shut me out Alyssa. We can get through this together."

"But we can't. You didn't lose a baby that you felt growing in you, I felt her first kick, I stayed up at night as she moved around keeping me up, I had them weird ass cravings, I was going to die for her. Don't say we anything!" I snapped crying.

JC didn't say anything but I knew by his face he was holding his tongue. What I thought was going to be an argument turned out to be him holding me in comfort while I silently cried holding my stomach.

"Don't say that wasn't my baby because it was mine just as much as yours. You was carrying her but she knew I was her daddy, that was my princess. Just because I didn't have that connection like you, that was still my baby and I'm still affected by her death. You not alone in this so don't push me away." He whispered in my ear, never letting me go.

"I blame myself, maybe this wouldn't have happened if I fought Morgan. I knew I was pregnant and I still went to fight, I was already being a bad mother by putting my daughter life in jeopardy."

"But that's not your fault baby, you got jumped by 8 bitches."

"But I didn't have to get revenge right away, I could of waited or sent my cousins to handle her. I didn't have to do that." I cried.

"And you know you was wrong. But we can't reflect on the past, only our future. This is going to get harder and harder everyday but I'm going to be there for you just like your going to be there for me."

"Can we have a funeral? A proper goodbye?" I asked.

"Anything you want."

"I love you Jayceon."

"I love you more Alyssa."

Jayceon Whitaker | JC😌

"Coming again at 2 in the morning huh Lys?"

Ever since we had the funeral Alyssa been a mess, I mean I didn't expect her to act like everything was peaches and cream but it's like now she don't even care about nothing no more.

For the past 2 weeks she have been going out to clubs every night, you'll never catch her sober anymore, she always had a drink in her hand or weed and she don't even like to smoke. 

"Oh shitt you scurrred me." She laugh slurring. "Why you woke at 2 in the morning baby?"

"I was up waiting for my stupid ass fiance."

"Your stupid ass fiance was at the strip club out doing the strippers, can I be a stripper?" She laughed.

"Alyssa this shit not funny, you a adult act like one!"

I turned to see her sleeping on the couch and I sighed, no point of wasting my breathe on talking. I picked her up bridal style and carried her to the bed.

I wiped off her makeup then changed her into some pajamas. She moved closer to me laying her head on my chest.

"I hope I see Kaijah again tonight." I heard her mumble as I sighed.
______________

"You got a hangover?" I asked Alyssa as she came out the room only in a shirt. She doesn't let me see her stomach no more or barely touch it.

"No, I've learned to get drunk without a hangover." She smiled as I shook my head then she pulled out a shot glass.

"Don't you think it's a little too early for that? It's 11 in the morning." I asked.

"It's 5 pm somewhere." She laughed.

"I'm not finding anything funny about this Alyssa, you a grown ass woman making little ass girl decisions."

"Why so serious? You'll get grey hairs stressing baby." She kissed my cheek laughing.

I took the patron and poured it in the sink along with the two bottles of Hennessey.

"What was the point? I'm 21 dude, I'll just go to the liquor store." She laughed walking away.

"Act like your 21 instead of a 16 year old just getting their first taste of alcohol." I followed behind her.

"No I'm acting like a person that wants to have fun, you know yesterday I was a stripper? They called me Vanilla." She smiled twerking.

"Alyssa you can't keep acting this way. You not the only one hurting baby, I am too. I told you we could get through this together."

"Are you the one being haunted that you failed as a mother? Are you the one who suffers the disappointment? Questioning yourself all the time? NO! I am leave me the hell alone JC, you have your way of grieving and this is my way." She brushed passed me and I grabbed her wrist.

"Your actual friends Ahjaya and Kailani are coming over today."

"No can do, the twins are coming."

The twins were these girls that Alyssa met one day at a club and since than they have been clubbing non-stop. They use the shit out of Alyssa, always making Lys pick them up, buy them drinks, use her connections.

"They not allowed in my house."

"Your house? Shannon and Shannade not even that bad as you describe."

"Alyssa they not coming here."

"Guess we're going to agree to disagree. There they are now." She smiled then ran to the ringing door.

"Lysa!" They both yelled.

"Babies, did you bring the stuff?" Alyssa asked whispering like I couldn't hear her.

"Yeah." Shannon asnwered

"Okay let's go in the gym then." She laughed and they walked passed me.

"Alyssa!" She turned around and groaned.

"JC!" She matched my tone.

"If they steal anything out my house, you fucking replacing it."

"JC I could buy your house and everything in it." She laughed walking towards the gym area.

She was dead for real starting to irritate me, her careless ways was going to get somebody hurt and at the rate she going the one getting hurt was going to be her.

The doorbell rung and I went to answer it seeing Jaya, Kai, Ike, Jordan, Ya and Jayla.

"Wassup?" I asked them sliding to the side so they can come in.

"Wassup pussy boy?" Ike asked only to get hit in the shoulder.

"Don't curse while my son in your hand." Ahjaya glared at him.

"Not like he could understand."

"Shut the hell up."

"I love you too."

"Anyways where Alyssa?" Kai asked. 

"Gym with Shannon and Shannade."

"Who the fuck is that?" Kai scrunched up her face.

When Alyssa met Shannon and Shannade she stopped talking to everybody including me. This was the first time in 4 days she actually held a conversation with me.

"Twins she met at a bar." I shrugged.

"Oh those girls on Instagram she been with lately?" Jayla asked as I nodded.

Just then Alyssa came out the gym and I could tell she was tipsy and so was the twins. She looked at Ahjaya and frowned going in the kitchen, I was confused why she was glaring at Ahjaya but then I looked and Ahjaya was holding Jordan.

"Um hey Alyssa you didn't see us?" Ike asked.

"Boy I been seeing you my whole life, what's so special about today?" She asked laughing with the twins.

"Who you talking to?" Ike asked. Iyan walked up to Alyssa grabbing her face with force making her look at him. He looked into her eyes and shook his head then let go her face and looked at me.

"Is she serious? Are you serious right now?" He said looking between both of us.

"What?" Ahjaya asked.

"Her stupid ass drunk, right Lys?"

"It's Vanilla or at least that's what they call me when I'm stripping." She laughed twerking again. 

"Why are y'all on her case so bad? We just had a drink- or four." Shannade asked. Alyssa and both of them started laughing.

"Bitch who talking to you? Sit your big nosed ass up and shut up." Ahjaya said.

"Don't talk to my sister like that, fuck wrong with you?" Shannon asked.

"No fuck is wrong with you?! Y'all some bad ass influences." Kai said shaking her head.

"Wait wasn't these the twins on bad girls club last season?" Jayla asked.

"Oh shit that is." Kai laughed.

"And these the bitches that you wanna be friends with Alyssa? They probably using you." Ahjaya shook her head.

"Don't speak on something you don't know about." Shannon said.

"I'll bet you I'll ride for Lys before you do." Shannade added.

"Bitch this not the bad girls club, I'll whoop your ass right now ain't no security guard here to save your ass." Kai said.

"Why are you bugging? If I wanna get drunk then I will. If I wanna be friends with somebody besides y'all then I will. Why are y'all here anyway? Go be a mother." Alyssa said walking off with the twins.

"Gimme 20 seconds in the bathroom with her." Ike said and Iyan laughed.

"Bout to take it to the jail days huh?" Iyan asked as I laughed.

"She need her ass whooped, you sure all she doing is drinking?" Ahjaya asked me.

"I hope that's all she doing, I don't know about anything dealing with Alyssa anymore."

"She'll come around." Kai said.

I really hope so. I'm not feeling this Lysa.

Alyssa King | Lys💫

"Let's have a kickback tonight." Shannon suggested.

"Where?" Shannade asked.

"We can have one at my old condo, y'all handle the invites, I'll get all the drinks and food."

"Okay babes, we'll see you later." I walked them to the door then went into the living room.

"Y'all like roaches I turn my head for a second than y'all start multiplying." I said looking at them.

The whole gang was here including their kids, why are they here? Like you have your own house to enjoy your kids, why be in mine?

"Well hello to you sunshine." Mace smiled.

"She drunk?" G asked. I just noticed G, Jen, Jay'Sean and Tac came in as the little kids went in some room.

"Yeah." Iyan answered.

"Ahhht wrong I'm buzzed." I laughed and so did Mason until they glared at him.

"Alyssa we been worried about you, this not a healthy life you're living." Aunt Jen started.

"Wait is this a intervention?" I laughed.

"No baby girl, we been hearing about you and I shouldn't have to be worried about my 21 year old daughter shaking her ass on stages or should I say Vanilla." Tac said.

"You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation." I flipped my hair laughing.

"I don't know bout y'all but I fucks with this Lysa." Mason laughed. I pointed at him smiling.

"This isn't healthy, that's why we have signed you up for some counselling." JC said.

"Well y'all can unsign me cause I'm not doing that bullshit."

"But you are." Tac said.

"But I'm not, I'm not a minor if I don't want to go somewhere then I'm not."

"This isn't up for discussion!" Iyan said.

"And to think you was my favorite, y'all been smoking too much dick."

"I understand where you coming-" Ahjaya started to say.

"Did you carry a baby for nine months only to find out your baby is gone? Was you going to risk your fucking life over a life that hasn't even started yet? Did you fucking hold your daughter for the last time? Did you have to fucking watch your daughter get burried?! Don't fucking come to me about understanding because none of you feel my fucking pain." I yelled.

"But Alyssa we wouldn't-" JJ started.

"Yeah y'all wouldn't! You all have your babies and what do I have? Pictures! Y'all have want y'all want and I don't!"

"Alyssa we just want to help you."

"Then leave me the hell alone!"

I grabbed my car keys and headed to the door. Before I could close my car door JC stopped me and grabbed my hand.

"Alyssa I didn't mean for that to happen like that, I didn't know-"

"I hate you." I said pulling off. Why couldn't everybody just leave me alone?

I just want to feel numb.
________

My poor rebellious Lysa😩

What y'all thinking?

A lil something something since I'm about to go swimming with my boyfriend.

I'll have another one up tomorrow since I know imma get harrased.

Fun fact I hate living in Georgia. I'll rather live where I'm from because I'm so used to it.

I'm from Jersey where nobody safe at😈⛽ #973

Excuse any mistakes😇