Tony writes a guidebook about how to become a companion in four steps, I have seriously missed Capalry if you can't tell, and Clara catches up with Rose. If you find yourself gaining cavities or getting rotten teeth after reading the utter fluff in this chapter, please forward all dental bills to my private messages. I predict I'll get many.

P.S., enjoy the grid.

And enjoy the interlude!

***

Step 1: Make sure you get along with the current companions.

"You know," Tony scratched the back of his head, looking at his watch on his other wrist. "For Time Lords, they don't return that quickly."

"Is that even the accurate time?" Pietro raised an eyebrow.

"Depends," Tony raised an eyebrow. "Is Skaro on London time?" Clara snickered as Pietro huffed. "It still lets me know we've been waiting here eight minutes."

"I can't imagine that's the longest someone's ever waited for them to return," Wanda mused.

Tony snorted loudly. "The first time the Doctor brought J back to Earth after their adventures, he told her she'd been gone twelve hours. She was gone twelve months."

"I remember that!" Clara laughed. "I've heard so much about Skye, and that seems to be a highlight of the stories."

"Her slapping the Doctor?" Tony grinned. "Yeah, I wish I could've seen that." His smile faded slightly. "Actually, I wish I could've met that Doctor. Of all the Doctors she's been with, he's the only one none of us Avengers met."

"Really?" Pietro asked curiously. "I don't think we ever knew that."

"Well, that was way before you two made it on our radar," Tony waved it off. "But that was when Jessie was working with Agent's team more than the Avengers. Once she stuck with the Doctor more, she leaned more towards Avengers work."

Wanda lowered her head. "You've really known all four of you, haven't you?"

"Well, you've met all four, too," Tony frowned.

"Met them, yes," Wanda nodded. "But we never knew her first two like you did."

Tony sighed. "Well, I can't really say I knew her Aussie self well."

"You knew her well enough that she gave you her confession dial," Pietro said quietly.

Tony scoffed, looking out at the ruins of the city. "Yeah, I still can't believe she did that."

"As much as I hate saying it, Missy had a point," Clara said. "You knew her before she was the Bad Wolf."

"Saleen," Tony listed off on his fingers. "Jemma. Fitz. Coulson. Steve. Nat."

"Oh, will you take the compliment?" Wanda huffed. "Out of everyone, she chose you."

"Well, I'd feel better about taking if, you know, I didn't get it when she thought she was about to die," Tony glowered.

Pietro winced. "I'll give you that."

Tony sighed, rubbing his face. "And thinking of her dying now, while she's pregnant – "

"And you can stop right there," Clara cringed.

"Yeah, I'll stop," Tony agreed, folding his arms. "Sorry. I talk a lot."

"I don't mind," Wanda admitted. "It's better than silence."

Tony eyed her. "I'd have thought you'd want me to shut up since you don't like me."

Wanda cleared her throat, brushing her hair behind her ear. "It's hard to dislike someone when they've saved your life multiple times."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Did Wanda Maximoff just say she might like me?"

"Don't push it," Wanda glowered, but there was no heat in her glare.

Pietro chuckled. "These adventures have a way of bringing the most unlikely people together."

Tony nodded thoughtfully. "You don't say."

Wheezing echoed behind them, and the quartet turned to see the TARDIS materialize behind them. "Fifteen minutes," Clara checked her own watch. "Not bad."

"That makes me wonder how long you've been left somewhere," Tony said as they hiked to the police box.

"Oh, I should tell you about the Christmas they regenerated."

It was just the Doctor at the console when the four stepped inside, Pietro shutting the door behind them. "Either of you in a hurry to go back to Earth?" he asked without further ado. The four humans looked at each other, waiting for someone to speak up. When no one did, the Doctor nodded. "Right, we'll stay in the Vortex for a while. Tony, take your pick of the bedrooms."

"Thanks, Doc," Tony nodded. With another nod, the Doctor flipped a lever, taking them away from Skaro. With a quick check of one of the monitors to see where they were, he gave them a tense smile before disappearing from the console room. "Is he normally like that?" Tony couldn't help but ask.

"No," Pietro shook his head. "But considering where we just were . . . "

"Yeah," Clara winced.

***

The Doctor let the humans' voices dissipate as he crossed through the TARDIS halls, his fingers brushing along the wall as he walked. The TARDIS hummed under him, a sad tone to the sound. "I know, girl," he whispered. "I'm worried, too."

She buzzed in agreement as the Doctor entered his and Jessie's room, and he froze when he heard retching from the bathroom. "Jezebel!" he hastily shut the door and ran for bathroom.

He found her staggering away from the toilet, one hand tight around her abdomen, the other covering her mouth while she sobbed, her eyes squeezed shut. The Doctor quickly caught her before her legs collapsed from under her, and he gently guided her to sit on the edge of the tub. "I could have killed her," she choked out, shaking her head rapidly as the Doctor dampened a hand towel and a washcloth at the sink. "And I didn't even know – "

"Neither of us did, Jess," the Doctor told her, sitting next to her and handing her the towel. She took it with a sniff and wiped her mouth, her breath still ragged as she tried to control it. As she did that, he lifted her hair and gently rested the washcloth against her neck. He could feel her relax as the cool cloth hit her skin. "None of our powers worked inside the infirmary, and we had no idea they did once we left. Missy played all of us like an orchestra, and we just played the tune she wanted us to."

Jessie exhaled slowly, elbows on her knees and one hand supporting her chin. "But it was Wanda, Kasterborous," she whispered, voice trembling. "She's another telepath, and if she was calling, we couldn't hear her."

"I know, love," the Doctor winced in agreement, rubbing her back slowly. She shifted closer to him, and he kissed her temple as she leaned against him. "Between you and me, I might have killed her, too," he admitted. "If all four of them were gone, just like that . . . " He cut himself off, shaking his head. "If any of them were gone, just like that . . . "

Jessie sniffed. "Mad Wolf."

The Doctor snorted. "Oncoming Storm."

She snickered. "We'll give everyone a good reason to be terrified of us."

The Doctor gave her an offended look. "As if the 'fight' we had in the civil war wasn't reason enough?" Jessie grinned up at him, and he winked at her. "Better?"

"A bit," she nodded, standing up and wringing her neck out. "I mean, I still hate thinking about almost killing Wanda, but I call dibs on Missy the next time we see her."

"That's if she survived the Daleks and the city collapse," the Doctor pointed out, heading for the door. He paused in the doorway, then scoffed. "Who am I kidding? She's like a cockroach. She managed somehow."

Jessie threw back her head and laughed loudly, making the Doctor grin. That was the sound he wanted her to make the rest of the night. No more tears from his favorite girl. "I'll be right there," she giggled.

"Take your time," the Doctor assured her.

***

Tony sighed, looking up and down the line of bedrooms, even as Wanda unlocked hers a few doors down. "It shouldn't surprise me that every room is kept."

"I like it," Wanda smiled, watching Pietro and Clara enter a room at the end of the hall. "It's like the TARDIS is remembering every companion in her own way."

The lights brightened in response to the statement, making Tony smile. "It is nice, I agree. One question, though." Wanda hummed expectantly, and Tony pointed between her room and the one her brother went into with Clara. "Why are your rooms so far apart?"

"Oh, Pietro's is between ours," Wanda giggled. "And the TARDIS does that sometimes, depending on the adventure we have. Sometimes it's better for us to have our rooms closer together, sometimes further apart." She sighed, opening her door. "And usually when I know I'm going to have nightmares, it's better for me to be further apart."

"Your powers?" Tony guessed.

"Yeah," Wanda nodded timidly.

Tony nodded thoughtfully, putting his hand on the knob of the unused room behind him. "Wanda?" he called as she shut the door to hers.

She opened it again and poked her head out. "Yes?" she asked.

He smiled. "For what's it's worth, sleep well."

Wanda blinked in surprise, then she smiled. "Thank you, Tony. You, too."

Tony nodded his thanks, and Wanda shut her door. Tony shut his, too, looking around the room. The TARDIS spoiled companions, he decided, as he took in the room that was similar to his back at the Tower. "So," he rubbed his hands together and looked up at the ceiling. "You can hear us, huh?" The lights brightened in response. "But you can't actually talk to us?" he asked, running his hand over the dresser. "Like, actually speak?" The TARDIS hummed under his hand; Tony had enough experience with his bots to know the TARDIS sounded disappointed in a way. "Yeah," he sighed, patting the wood. "I would love to hear you talk." The TARDIS buzzed in agreement, and Tony paused, thinking. "I wonder . . . "

***

The Doctor didn't look up from Jessie's bracelet when he heard her feet pad towards the bed. "Remind me to take a look at the perception filter on this again," he told her.

"Why?" Jessie tilted her head as she joined him.

The Doctor adjusted his position so he sat against the headboard, and he patted his leg invitingly. Jessie smiled in relief, laying perpendicular to him so her head rested in his lap. "Because as much as I'd like to keep you in the TARDIS permanently until our child is born, I can guess that's a lost cause," he said, absently running his fingers through his beloved's hair.

"You guess correctly," Jessie smiled, watching him twist her bracelet around with glittering emerald eyes.

"Oh, well, it was worth a shot," the Doctor sighed, placing the bracelet on one of the bedside tables. "I'll adjust the perception filter. It'll keep strangers from noticing you're pregnant. Won't show up on scanners, either."

Jessie frowned. "I like the idea. And if I am in danger?"

The Doctor gave her a firm look. "Then you let me be the overprotective blood bonded I am because there is no way in any of the hells that exist am I losing you or our child."

"There's no way I'm going to let that happen, either," Jessie sat up and moved so she straddled his legs. "If I have anything to say in when I die, it isn't going to be for a very, very, very long time. I am way too fond of these faces right now, and I loved our baby the moment I knew I was pregnant. I am not doing anything to put us in jeopardy. I couldn't live with myself if I did." She smirked. "God knows Martha would chew me out if I did something stupid." That got a chuckle from both of them. "Be as overprotective of me as you want," she told him. "I know I complain sometimes, but I never mean it. I just want you."

The Doctor chuckled warmly, cupping her cheek and pushing his fingers into her tresses. "Who are you and what happened to my blood bonded?"

She smiled brightly. "I got something I wanted so badly after centuries of not being able to have it."

All the Doctor could do was draw her down to kiss her fiercely, his wife smiling against his lips and curling her fingers into his shoulders, her delight blaring across her mind and into his. "I love you," he whispered through their bond, tangling his fingers in her hair. "Both of you, so much."

Jessie kissed him harder at his words. "We love you, too," she whispered back. "With all our hearts."

***

Step 2: Make sure you're on the good sides of the Doctor and Jessie (or the Bad Wolf, depending on how long you've known her).

Tony wasn't sure how the TARDIS kept track of time, but he knew that when he woke up, it had to have been the most sleep he'd gotten in God only knew how long. A peek inside the closet revealed the TARDIS had filled it with his usual style of clothing, and Tony took a moment to look up at the ceiling. "I understand why they love you so much." The TARDIS beeped smugly, and Tony chuckled as he changed into clothing that didn't have essence of Dalek on it. "Seriously, I'd travel just so I could be around you most of the time."

The TARDIS buzzed loudly at that, and as Tony headed down the hall, he found himself almost immediately in the lounge area. Jessie was perched on the arm of one of the chairs, a mug of hot chocolate cupped in her hands. "You must've made her happy," she smiled in greeting.

"I just do what I always do," Tony shrugged. "Always compliment a gorgeous girl." The TARDIS whirred in response, making Jessie giggle. "And the other gorgeous girl in the room is looking much better this morning," he nodded, moving to the coffee maker. "You doing OK?"

"Definitely better than I was when we got back," Jessie nodded. "Let's just say my hormones didn't agree with what I almost did to Wanda."

Tony winced. "I can only imagine. How is that going, by the way?" he asked, taking his cup and plopping down on the sofa across from her.

"Thirteen months," Jessie answered. "Just about halfway there."

Tony whistled lowly. "And I thought nine months must be long."

"Well, there's the two hearts, not to mention the regeneration cycles, and God only knows what else takes a Time Lord longer to develop than humans," Jessie shrugged, a wide smile on her face. "It'll be worth it, though."

"Oh, no kidding," Tony nodded in agreement. "In the moment when I knew, I was terrified because of what was happening in the team, but once that was over, I was delighted for the two of you. After all this time, finally able to have a baby . . . I'm happy you have that chance."

He had thought Jessie couldn't smile any wider. He was wrong. "You have no idea how happy I am, too."

He smiled back. "Good for you, J."

"Right!" the Doctor's voice sounded behind him, and Tony twisted to see the Time Lord walk in, turning a braided bracelet of gold and silver threads over in his hand. "Course is set for Coal Hill when Clara and the companions wake up, then for whatever building Tony had to supervise Secretary Ross at – " Tony snorted into his coffee. " – and one bracelet with an improved perception filter back where it belongs, my lady," he extended it to Jessie with a playful bow.

"Ah, thank you, my lord," Jessie grinned, holding out her hand for him to put it on.

He did so with a kiss to her knuckles. "God, you two are disgustingly cute," Tony wrinkled his nose. "When did that happen?"

"Oh, well," the Doctor considered as he dropped into the armchair. "How many times have you seen us in the past . . . millennium?"

Tony did a double take. "What?"

"Over two thousand years old," the Doctor nodded. "I was nine hundred and two when you met me the first time."

Tony shook his head, shocked. "You look really good for over two thousand."

"Well, I try," the Doctor grinned smugly, snaking an arm around Jessie's waist and lightly tugging. She yelped, trying to avoid spilling her drink as she landed into the Doctor's lap, though she didn't protest at all as she curled up like a cat against him. "She looks even better, though."

"Oh, stop," Jessie buried her face in his chest.

"Yeah? Make me."

"Should I leave you two alone?" Tony asked, half joking, half serious.

"You can if you'd like," the Doctor smirked.

Jessie squawked, eyes wide. "Doctor!"

Tony just chuckled. "God, it's good being around the two of you."

The Doctor smiled. "Likewise, Tony."

***

Step 3: Casually and/or subtly veer towards the subject.

"Oh, I suppose since you were called away, it makes sense you changed clothes," the Doctor nodded, watching Clara as she joined the rest of the crew in the console room. "It's the exact same day you left, just the end of the school day."

"Gotcha," Clara nodded. "I'll just check in with Rose and see what I missed."

"I really like her," Wanda smiled.

"Yeah, she's the best, isn't she?" Clara grinned.

The Doctor scoffed, turning to his wife. "Jessie, we're being replaced!"

"Oh, please," Clara swatted him on the arm. "You're still the best Time Lords."

Tony chuckled, watching them. "So that's usually how this ends?" he asked, pushing off the railing to join them around the console. "Just . . . end, catch some sleep, then it's off to whatever you were doing before you jumped aboard?"

"Well, it depends on how quickly I want to get back to school," Clara shrugged.

"And sometimes we go on a few adventures without her," Pietro added.

"And sometimes we leave when she does," Wanda nodded.

"Sometimes we take a few spins by ourselves," Jessie said.

"That's the wonderful thing about time travel," the Doctor smiled. "Go anywhere, anywhen, and when you come back, only a few seconds have gone by. Or, depending on when you leave," he checked the time, "it's shortly after the bells ring."

Tony shook his head in awe. "You know, the only time I had an adventure with the two of you was that Richard Lazarus idiot," he said.

"Oh, I remember that," Jessie wrinkled her nose. "Martha convinced me to wear that slinky black dress that normally I'd never be caught dead wearing."

"Looked absolutely gorgeous on you, though," the Doctor smiled.

"Yeah, but that wasn't another planet or another time period," Tony said. "This . . . was my first actual time travel related, traveling to another world related adventure."

"And?" Clara leaned forward with a grin. "What did you think?"

"I could do without the evil Time Lady nemesis trying to turn us all on each other," Tony admitted. "But other than that . . . I can't remember the last time I had that much fun and I wasn't in my workshops."

Clara grinned widely at that, but the Maximoffs' attentions were caught by the Time Lords exchanging knowing looks. "Oh, what are you two thinking?" Pietro asked.

"Go on," the Doctor smiled.

Jessie turned back to Tony with a smile on her face. "Want a few more trips?" she offered. "Be a frequent flyer for a while?"

Tony stared at her in surprise. "You mean it?" he asked, looking from her to the Doctor.

"Of course," the Doctor nodded. "That's another extra person looking out for my wife. And I can say that, I got permission to be as overprotective as I'd like."

"Oh, God," Pietro dropped his head onto his arms, making Clara giggle and pat his shoulder.

"So?" Jessie beamed. "What do you say?"

Tony looked around the console room, from the expectant Time Lords to a smiling Clara to a curious Pietro . . . and to a trying-to-be-disinterested-but-failing-miserably Wanda, who kept looking from her nails to him. "I say it's been a hell of a year," Tony looked back at Jessie, smiling. "I could use a sabbatical."

Jessie whooped in glee, hugging him tightly. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"On one condition!" Tony said loudly. "I'm her companion."

"Well, that makes it uneven!" Clara complained.

"It's not my fault he likes her more than me!" the Doctor held up his hands. "To be fair, I like my wife better than me, too."

"Besides," Pietro looked at her. "I don't mind being co-companions."

"Excellent!" the Doctor nodded. "I get Absolute Zero and Quickie Silver."

"Quicksilver!"

Tony blinked at the bickering that began, then looked at Jessie. "That's a thing?"

"Yes," she giggled. "That's a thing."

Tony nodded, then looked at Wanda as she walked over. "Think you can deal with me on here?" he asked.

Wanda looked up at him, then smiled and held out her hand. "Co-companions?"

He smiled in relief, shaking her hand. "Co-companions."

***

Step 4: Go about your normal business as if you didn't just agree to be a frequent flyer on a time machine.

"And she's alive!" a familiar voice laughed when Clara exited the TARDIS.

"Oi!" Clara protested, though she laughed and hurried to her best friend. "Have a little more faith in me, thanks!"

"Oh, only the most for you!" Rose giggled, hugging her tightly. "So, what was it? Frozen planes? Who did it?"

"Uh, an old friend I really could have gone without seeing," Clara nodded.

"Oh," Rose blinked. "Lovely." She looked past Clara and brightened when she saw the others who left the TARDIS. "Pietro, Wanda!" She paused, surprised. "Mr. Stark?"

"Tony, please," he waved it off. "Sorry, it just occurred to me I've never actually seen the school before."

"Well, it's not much, but it pays the bills," Rose smiled. "I think we're some of the last ones in the building."

"Thanks," Clara nodded, walking around her desk where Rose was sorting papers, Pietro lingering in the room. "So, what did I miss?"

Tony tuned the teachers out as he stepped into the hallway, peering up and down the halls curiously. "The Doctor and the Bad Wolf pretended to work here for one mission," Wanda told him as she followed him.

"Really?" Tony grinned, walking backwards to listen to her. "How did that go?"

"We were almost killed by a Skovox Blitzer."

Tony blinked. "A what?"

"A Skovox Blitzer."

"And what does – "

Wanda's eyes widened. "Tony!"

He turned around just in time to run smack into a dark-haired young woman, who shrieked and dropped the books she was carrying. "Oh, my God!" she gasped, dropping to her knees to pick up everything she had dropped. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you!"

"I didn't, either," Tony quickly dropped down to help her. "Don't worry about it, it's just as much my fault as yours."

"I've spent the past week learning this school back to front," the young woman sniffed, getting her items back in order. "And of course I don't watch where I'm going when I go round the corner."

"Well, there's not many of us left in the school, anyway," Tony shook his head, handing her the rest of her materials and standing up, offering his hand to her. "You're OK, though?"

"Yes," she accepted his hand and stood up. "I'm fine, thank . . . " She trailed off, looking at him, and his eyes widened. "You're Tony Stark."

He blinked, and he turned to look at Wanda. "I just realized I might get that in our future adventures."

"That depends on when we land," Wanda said dryly.

"True," Tony nodded, turning back around. "What's your name?"

She blinked out of her trance. "Oh, Virginia," she smiled. "Virginia Carter."

"Oh, I know that name," Wanda nodded. "You're Ms. Tyler's student teacher from the US, right?"

"Yes," Virginia nodded. "I know school systems aren't the same here, so when I got an opportunity from my university to student teach here . . . well, I couldn't resist that, could I?"

"Physical education, though?" Tony asked curiously.

"Sometimes students can be their best selves through their academics," Virginia shrugged. "But in the real world, sometimes your academics aren't enough. And physical education isn't always about who does the most push-ups or can climb a rope the fastest. Teamwork, camaraderie, and seeing who's on your side can be just as important as knowing how to calculate what it takes to stabilize a nuclear bomb." She paused. "Though what's more important: knowing you can trust who you hand the bomb to, or getting the bomb stable in the first place?"

Tony smiled. "Excellent point. I'd probably want to know I'm not handing the bomb to a terrorist."

"Hey, Tony?" Clara poked her head out of her classroom. "Wanda? Oh, hi, Virginia!"

"Hi, Ms. Oswald," Virginia waved.

"Oh, brilliant," Rose smiled as she walked out. "Virginia covered the rest of my classes while I helped here," she added to Clara.

"And how did it go?" Clara smiled.

"I don't know how Ms. Tyler does it," Virginia smiled sheepishly.

"Because she's awesome," Clara winked, and Rose preened, playfully tossing her hair over one shoulder. "Anyway, we're ready to head out," she told the others.

"Oh, great," Tony turned back to Virginia, smiling. "Nice meeting you."

"You, too," Virginia smiled.

"So," Rose smiled brightly, joining Virginia as Tony and Wanda headed back into Clara's classroom, Clara closing the door behind them. Virginia paused when she heard a lock click. "Did you have the reports done?"

"Er, yes," Virginia checked through her folders. "This is from the noon class and those afterwards – "

She faltered when she heard a wheezing noise, and she looked behind her, wondering where it was coming from. "Yeah," Rose chuckled, taking the reports handed to her. "You'll be hearing that sound a lot if you stick with me." She paused. "You know you can call me Rose when we're not around the other teachers, right?"

Virginia smiled, a much more relaxed one than earlier. "That'll be much easier."

"Oh, definitely," Rose agreed, flipping one of the reports open. "So, what trouble did Courtney Woods get into today?"

***

Note to readers: these steps do not necessarily have to be completed in the order presented. However, it is recommended you save Step 4 for last, as it doesn't make much sense anywhere else.

***

It was far too tempting to write out the steps. XD I might need to do this style more often for interludes, I enjoyed it.

So like I said, more two-parters mean less interludes, which means I'll have to make up some ground in the interludes I do write. This was about 4.3K words altogether, which I'm certain is the longest interlude I've ever written. I'll see if I can write this much each time. I know some of my plans include longer interludes, and a lot of time is going to be covered between episodes.

Basically, just hang with me and we'll see what happens. XD

Keep an eye out for when the next episodes will be out!

graphic by marvelity