Forever Alone
(A/N: This chapter was inspired by AuRa's song, Panic Room. I hope you enjoy.)
Eight Weeks Later
Machines steadily beeped inside of a plain white room, empty except for a few chairs, a bed and a female nurse who was straightening up the room and checking on the machines. A body lay prone in the bed, needles and saline tubes and IV's sticking out of the body and a tube down their throat.
It was a quiet, slow day for the hospital which was few and far between when the machines started to beep at a more rapid pace, indicating that the patient was waking up. The female nurse was quite surprised and therefore she froze as the machines continued to beep.
Eyes fluttered and a hand twitched before the eyes opened slowly, revealing deep brown eyes filled to the brim with pure confusion and fear. At the sound of the gasps of the patient as he tried to speak around the tube in his throat, the nurse hit the red button, calling for assistance.
Larsen was confused and terrified. The last thing he remembered was being attacked by Edgar and stabbed. He had no idea where he was and he tried to speak, surprised to fine that he could not because a tube was in his throat. He raised his hand to try to feel for it but the female nurse gently grabbed his hand and said softly,
"The tube will come out as soon as we know you can breathe on your own, okay?"
Despite the utter fear of not knowing what was going on, Larsen nodded and dropped his hand. He watched as another nurse and two doctors rushed into the room. All of a sudden he felt tired and just exhausted so with five doctors rushing around in the room, he let himself drift back into a dark oblivion.
Four Hours Later
Larsen watched the two police officers warily as they sat across from him, looking over his medical report. He found his eyes drifting to Jack, Rachel and Gabby, who were sitting in the corner of the room, watching the interrogation.
"Larsen, do you think you can tell us about what happened that night?"
Larsen nodded after a moment of hesitation before relaying everything that happened at prom and when he left to go home. He shuddered, remembering how it felt to be stabbed and fought to hold back tears at the twinge of pain he felt in his stomach.
"Edgar...he...when he--he--" Larsen struggled to speak as his body went into a fit of shaking and his eyes glazed over as he remembered with vivid recall how it hurt and he gasped. His throat closed up and he couldn't breathe. It was like he was back in that alley, dying all over again.
Officer James held up a hand, his eyes softening. "It's alright, Larsen. Take your time."
Larsen frowned and looked away from the two officers as he worked on slowing his breathing. He stared at his hands, which were on the sheets pulled over his legs.
"I just wanted to go home." Larsen whispered. "I left prom early because Jack and I had an argument. It had been about Edgar and my feelings..." Larsen paused, glancing quickly at Jack before continuing. "For someone. Edgar came out of nowhere with a knife. He said that I was alone and that I was going to die alone. I fought back."
Larsen took a shuddering breath, hoping that he was at least able to finish so he wouldn't have to do this again. "I think I killed him. Did I?"
Officer James shot a look at his partner before turning back to him. "We don't know. When we arrived on scene, no one was in that alley but you and your friend."
Jack spoke up. "Wait, so you're saying that Edgar is still out there?!"
"Yes."
Larsen felt his heart stop. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and the blood drained from his face. There was nothing at all in this world that would make him fear being alone or even falling asleep, but knowing that Edgar was still alive, would give him insomnia for the rest of his life. He could hear the heart monitors beeping loudly as his vision tunneled in and out, going dark around the edges.
Larsen was having a panic attack.
As his heart continued to race and his blood pressure rose, he could hear the people in his room calling for the nurses. Jack was in his line of sight but that did nothing to quell the fear and helplessness he was feeling as flashbacks of that night came back and words that were said filled his brain.
You're going to die alone, Larsen.
No one will grieve you.
No one wants a second rate loser, like you.
No one will miss you.
Larsen covers his ears as the words become louder, tears welling in his eyes even as he shuts them.
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ALONE!
NO ONE WILL MISS YOU!
YOU'RE WORTHLESS!
NO ONE WANTS A SECOND RATE LOSER LIKE YOU!
A WASTE OF SPACE!
I HATE YOU!
I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
The voices continue, saying things that had been said to him in the past, only this time it's more painful and hurtful. Larsen just wants it to stop, he wants everything to just stop but it keeps going. The voices repeat everything and more. The last words really hit him, because those were the words Jack said to him the night he was attacked.
That's right. Jack didn't love him anymore, and he'd said it to his face. If that were true then why was he here? It feels like he's going to go insane as the voices gain volume, so much that it feels like his head is going to explode.
NO ONE LOVES YOU
Finally he snaps.
Larsen screams at the top of his lungs, and clamps his hands over his ears more tightly as he keeps screaming for the voices to stop. His heart can't take it and he can't breathe. He feels like he's dying, and maybe that would be better for everyone. Opening his eyes, he sees Jack, Rachel, Gabby, the two officers and a doctor standing around his bed, staring at him in fear, worry and concern showing clear as day.
Larsen could feel himself losing consciousness and he turned his head away from the people he thought didn't care. Eyes fluttering shut, he breathed words that were said to him before.
"No one loves me. I'm forever alone."
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