Missed me?
Answers to the Q&A at the end if the chapter! Hope you guys would check it out cuz I spent a shit load of time on it :))

•°⁴⁵°•Selfish─✵───────

Taehyung woke up to a pair of lips against his cheek.

"Hmm?" Taehyung mumbled sleepily, surroundings slowly coming into focus as the soft press against his cheeks that gently pulled him away from his dream. He blinked a couple of times, no longer feeling the press against his cheek. He looked to his left, only to see a smiling Jeongguk looking at him, eyes shaped like crescents from the big smile that stretched his lips upwards.

"Hi" Taehyung mumbled, heart fluttering as he took in his boyfriend's physique. He was shirtless, the blanket that covered them both doing an awful job at covering the defined muscles of his torso. His hair was a crow's nest, curls standing on all directions but Taehyung thought it was adorable. He looked gorgeous, even when he had just woken up.

Jeongguk had come over the previous night and spent the night with Taehyung. Taehyung was more than glad to share his bed with Jeongguk but when he asked why, the older man had just said that he didn't want to be at his home that moment. Jeongguk had looked stressed out and it made Taehyung close his mouth, not wanting to distress the older man further by asking more questions.

After a quick shower and climbing into a pair of sweats belonging to Taehyung, Jeongguk had fallen asleep moments after his back hit the soft, cheap mattress of Taehyung's room. And Taehyung could only coo at the sight of Jeongguk sleeping like a baby, a pout adorning his cherry lips and soft snores escaping his nose. Taehyung too had fallen asleep instantly, grateful that Taehyung was able to convince Mrs. Hooper to let Jeongguk stay.

"Hi" Jeongguk mumbled now, grinning. "Good morning"

"Good morning" Taehyung said, yawning. He shifted closer to Jeongguk and buried his head in his chest, feeling the need to go back to sleep.

"Tae it's almost midday" Jeongguk said, wrapping his arm around Taehyung's torso. "Wake up"

"No" Taehyung mumbled.

Jeongguk chuckled. "Baby, wake up"

"No it's a Saturday" Taehyung felt himself dozing off again.

Before he could fall asleep again, Jeongguk's hand on his back travelled downwards, giving a firm squeeze on his ass.

Taehyung jolted awake. "Hey! That's a violation of my rights!"

"Your sleeping rights?"

"Yes!"

Jeongguk chuckled, giving another squeeze. Taehyung whined, the need to fall back asleep now long gone.

"Baby" Jeongguk whispered.

"Yes?" Taehyung whispered back. Jeongguk's face was inches away from him.

Jeongguk placed him palm over Taehyung's cheek and looked at him with eyes. Taehyung's heart fluttered at the sight. He couldn't help the smile that stretched his lips upwards at the sight of Jeongguk.

Jeongguk smiled back, his thumb continuously caressing Taehyung's cheek. Jeongguk's palm felt comfortable and warm, making Taehyung feel fortunate to feel Jeongguk's presence so early in the morning.

"I want to wake up to you my whole life" Jeongguk whispered.

"Me too" Taehyung whispered.

Jeongguk grinned. They stayed like that for a few more minutes, basking in each other's warmth and listening to the rhythmic beating of their hearts.

"By the way, I was wondering something...""Taehyung whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Am I better than your wife?"

Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows. "Of course! In every way possible!"

"Tell me how"

"I don't want to compare because you guys are nothing like each other but you're prettier than her, you're more passionate, more smart, more caring and kind, does a much better job at taking care of me...um...what else..."Jeongguk thought for a moment as Taehyung stared at him with sparkling eyes. "You're so much more perfect than her"

"Äre we going to factually ignore that I give better blowjobs that your wife?"

Jeongguk grinned. "Yeah that too. I almost forgot. You're a million times better than her in bed. My hot, sexy, horny boyfriend"

Taehyung giggled loudly.

Jeongguk's smile widened, his eyes narrowing into crescents and crinkling at the ends adorably. And Taehyung cooed at the sight, stomach fluttering with butterflies.

But it didn't last long. Jeongguk's face darkened. His smile faltered and his eyes were no longer twinkling with happiness. His eyebrows furrowed together as if something troublesome crossed his mind. It looked as if a rainy cloud had covered the sun.

It made Taehyung's heart drop.

Jeongguk tore his gaze away from Taehyung's and looked at the whitewashed ceiling above them, lips letting out a deep and stressed sigh. It took him a few moments to talk again.

"I'm so fucking tired"

"Jeongguk" Taehyung's voice was thick with worry. He could only imagine what Jeongguk was going through.

"I want to get drunk. Pass out or something Just...not think about it" Jeongguk whispered.

"It's going to be alright," Taehyung whispered as he rubbed Jeongguk's shoulder. "Don't think about it for now. Don't overthink"

"I want to get this over with but everything feels like it's going sideways. I'm so stressed out, Tae"

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"I don't want you to get involved, baby. This is my shit-"

"You can use me"

"What?" Jeongguk's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you can use me to relieve your stress. It's the only thing I can do"

"But I don't want to use you. You're the love of my life"

Taehyung sighed. "Not like that. We're supposed to take care of each other. I can relieve your stress"

"Yeah but..." Jeongguk looked at Taehyung. "You know I love you, right?"

"I do" Taehyung said and placed a kiss on Jeongguk's forehead. "I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday. I was being so childish and immature. I didn't mean any of it. It's your child. And I don't have a say in that at all. I'm sorry. I came home and thought about it. And I wasn't thinking at all. I wasn't being fair. I just don't want you to leave me, that's all. I was being so immature-"

"Tae. Baby" Jeongguk whispered, cupping his face. "It's alright. You weren't wrong. You're just twenty. You're allowed to be childish and immature. You're still so young. You were just saying how you really felt and that's alright. After all you've been through, it's fair on your side to think that"

"Gguk-"

"But it hurts me that you think I would leave you. When I'm trying everything I can to not let you go. Because I need you"

"I know. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, baby. I'm not mad at you. I'm the one who's acting immature most of the time. Not you. I'm the adult here. I should have been able to be rational. But when I'm with you...you make me want to be reckless, Tae. You make me want to give my all to you and be happy. You make me want to do what truly makes me happy. You make me feel so young"

"You are young" Taehyung whispered, fingers caressing Jeongguk's jaw. "And you deserve to be happy"

"You make me want to experience what I've missed and when I'm with you I feel like this is what I've been missing. This is what it's like to be alive"

"Oh Jeongguk" Taehyung was tearing up. "I love you so much"

"I love you too, baby" Jeongguk said, planting a kiss atop Taehyung's plump lips.

They stayed like that for a few silent minutes, basking in each other's warmth as morning light soaked them.

"Is the grandma home?" Jeongguk asked after a while, as he pushed Taehyung's body tighter against himself.

"She goes to church every Saturday morning so she won't be back for a while" Taehyung whispered, staring into Jeongguk's doe eyes.

"Okay" Jeongguk said, a small smirk stretching his lips upwards.

Taehyung smiled back. "What?"

"Nothing" Jeongguk's smirk grew. "We're alone it seems"

"Yeah"

"And I'm a little stressed"

Taehyung giggled. "Yeah?"

Jeongguk grinned and Taehyung bit his lip, staring at Jeongguk's lips.

"Yeah" Jeongguk breathed and grinded his hips onto Taehyung.

"Yeah I think you're really stressed" Taehyung moaned.

Twenty minutes later, the two men lay beside each other, hearts racing in unison and proof of the unholy acts they've indulged themselves in splattered all over their chests. Jeongguk was grinning like a fool and Taehyung was trying to get down from the bliss that made him feel like he was in cloud nine.

"Morning sex is the best thing ever" Taehyung said breathlessly.

"I know right?" Jeongguk said, grinning.

"I love it when you break my back like a glowstick, daddy"

"Taehyung what the fuck?" Jeongguk asked, grinning. "You're weird. Let me clean you up"

Taehyung grinned, feeling himself come down from his high. He watched as Jeongguk grabbed some tissues and splatter water all over them before starting to clean both of them. Taehyung silently watched the older man clean him up, dark hair that had definitely grown a couple of inches during the summer falling into his eyes making him look enchantingly handsome. His biceps and triceps flexed under his skin as he moved his hands and Taehyung had to close his eyes to avoid himself from getting turned on again.

Jeongguk stood up, disposed the wet tissues on the bin by Taehyung's small desk, and sat on the bed next to Taehyung, who laid on his back, naked. Jeongguk smiled at Taehyung and pressed a kiss to his forehead, making Taehyung close his eyes again.

Jeongguk drew away and looked at Taehyung, his gaze calculating. As if he was trying to figure something out that was written on Taehyung's face.

"You look different"

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, confused. "Different how?"

"I don't know" Jeongguk said. "You look tired"

"Maybe because I am?"

"You are? Because of the sex? But you don't usually get tired even when you ride me and today you were under me-"

"Stop you're trying to turn me on again"

"I'm not!" Jeongguk pouted. "But Tae, I'm serious. What's wrong?"

Taehyung sighed and sat up, facing Jeongguk. "I'm just a little worried about you, Gguk. Worried about us. I can't do anything to help you and I don't know what's going on with you. I'm completely in the dark on this matter even though you're my boyfriend..."

"Tae..." Jeongguk whispered, "I don't want to drag you into this mess. You staying by my side is enough strength for me, baby. You don't have to worry. I'm trying to come up with a solution that wouldn't hurt any of us"

"What do you mean hurt us? Why would a divorce hurt anyone?"

Jeongguk sighed. "I spoke with Jieun yesterday. According to her, all our truths could be exposed. Including our affair. And about Aria...I mean we can do something about Aria, even if I really don't want her to find out but...about you..."

"What about me? Would something bad happen to us if they find out?"

"Well, you wouldn't get expelled, obviously. But people would get to know about us. It's a possibility at least. And I could probably lose my job" Jeongguk said in a small voice. Taehyung's eyes widened. "But it's just a possibility! I need to speak to my lawyer and I have an appointment with him at four in the afternoon today. I already set the time up on my way here yesterday. And I can confirm what would happen after speaking with him"

"You mean...if it gets revealed, it could have a negative impact on my future?" Taehyung said in a small voice. The corners of his lips were inched downwards with worry.

"Yeah well..." Jeongguk said. "But we can figure something out, I'm sure. Anyways, that's why I didn't want you to get involved. I don't want to do you any harm"

Taehyung nodded. "Okay"

"But...I was wondering...." Jeongguk said in a small voice.

"Hmm?" Taehyung looked at him.

"I don't want this thing to destroy our lives. But if there's a high chance that what Jieun said is true, would you be okay if I don't...like...you know...?"

"What?"

Jeongguk shrugged. "If I don't get a divorce?"

Taehyung's eyes widened in horror. "What? Jeongguk what the fuck?"

"Tae-"

"You don't want to divorce her?"

"Were you listening to me? I said if things are going to do us more harm than good, would you be okay with me not divorcing her but still continuing this relationship with you? You and I can even live together-"

Taehyung scoffed.

Jeongguk's eyes widened, hurt flashing across his face in an instant.

"No" Taehyung said. "It's not okay, Jeongguk. We've been through enough shit already. I've been through enough shit because of you. All I want is a good relationship with you. A normal one where we take care of each other and focus on each other. A normal fucking relationship where you're mine"

"Tae-"

"I'm okay with you split parenting or some shit. I don't fucking care as long as you're mine. I came to terms with that. But now you don't even want to divorce her? Like get out of the marriage?"

"Taehyung" Jeongguk growled, making Taehyung shut up instantly. "You're not listening to me. We're both adults so let's talk about this rationally. I'm telling you that I care about you and I don't want your future getting screwed up because of my shit. I don't want you to get dragged into my mess. Okay? So if it seems like you will be dragged into this, I was just wondering if you would be okay with me not divorcing-"

"No I'm not okay with that"

Jeongguk sighed. "Okay. I'll try my best to not get you into this"

"Okay. Because I really thought after everything we've been through you'll finally be mine after the divorce"

"Taehyung...we're literally dating"

"This is adultery. You're practicing adultery because you're still married to that bitch who ruined your whole fucking life. And you still let her get into your head. Do you love her or something?"

"Taehyung please"

"No. Listen to me. You're still married, in case you forgot. I'm not formally your boyfriend until you get that divorce and become a free man. And then we can move in together and start an actual relationship. Because let's face it, Jeongguk. I'm just a fling right now"

"Taehyung, no"

"And you're not mine until you get that divorce"

"What do you mean? Taehyung you're mine and-"

"I may be yours but you're not mine, Gguk" Taehyung said. His heart felt like it was about to explode. Tears brimmed his eyes.

"Since the moment we met, I've always been yours. I've been here waiting for you to come back to me. I've always been here waiting for you. I've been here for you to come back to. But you were never there, Gguk. You still aren't. And all this time, I was yours and you were never mine. You were hers and Aria's. Not mine. Never mine. Still aren't. You might be, after the divorce. But now, even that isn't a thing I could look up to?"

"Tae..." Jeongguk was speechless.

"Us? We aren't stable, Jeongguk. I've waited for long for it to be stable. And my only hope had been your divorce. Because at the end of the day, I'm madly and foolishly in love with you"

"Tae" Jeongguk sobbed. He took hold of both Taehyung's hands. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying that. I'm so sorry. I will never even think that ever again. I will do everything to divorce her. Even if it ruins my life, as long as you're there with me in the end, I'll be fine"

Taehyung sniffled. "Please keep your word"

"Of course baby. I'm sorry for hurting you so much"

Taehyung stayed silent as Jeongguk's arms wrapped around him, drawing him closer into a hug.

When Jeongguk drew away, Taehyung gave him a tight-lipped smile and got up from bed. He started putting on his clothes as Jeongguk watched. He walked over to his nightstand, where his phone lay connected to the charger. He took it in his hand and started looking through his notifications.

Upon seeing an email from an unusual email, he opened it.

What he saw almost made him drop the phone.

Taehyung screamed.

Jeongguk sat up and jumped over to Taehyung, panicked. "What?"

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk with his whole expression horrified. Jeongguk stared at him, looking concerned until-

Taehyung started jumping on the balls of his feet, a grin forming on his lips.

"I've been selected to New York Art Academy!"

-

"Mom?"

Jieun heard her daughter's voice outside the window of the passenger seat of her car, making her snap out of her trial of thoughts that had made her space out. Jieun quickly wiped the tear stains on her face and unlocked the doors, letting Aria climb into the passenger seat.

"Why did you come pick me up?" Aria asked as she closed the door.

Jieun cleared her throat. "I got the message that the swimming practices aren't being held today. I came to drive you home"

"I could've gone with my friends" Aria whined. "I'm old enough to go by my own!"

"I know that" Jieun snapped. "I have some time off today so why travel alone when you can go with me?"

"But it's usually dad who comes to pick me up? Where is he?"

"Busy" Jieun said. She didn't know where he was. She hadn't seen him in the morning. She hadn't seen after the previous night. She didn't look for him either, even though it felt strange to not wake up next to him or see him in the morning making her coffee.

She knew she would have to get used to that soon.

"With Taehyung?" Aria asked.

Jieun sighed and started the engine. She heard Aria let out a sigh next to her as Jieun pulled up into the driveway.

"You can stay at home alone until I come back, right? I'll buy you some lunch and I'll be home by dinner"

"Yeah" Aria said. "But dad would be home, right? He would come back soon so I wouldn't be alone. You don't have to worry"

Jieun felt like tearing up again. But she gulped down the need to cry and spoke. Her voice came out shakier than she intended to. "I'm not sure"

"What do you mean? Where is he?"

"I don't know, okay? Can you call him and ask where he is?"

"Mom!" Aria said.

Jieun let out a sigh.

"God, what's happening with you guys?" Aria said, looking stressed out.

"Hey" Jieun said, placing her hand on Aria's thigh. "Don't get stressed out, okay? Just focus on yourself. Your dad and I will figure out what's going to happen"

A silence followed Jieun's statement.

And then a sniffle.

"Please don't get divorced" Aria was sobbing.

"Baby" Jieun said. Her heart ached upon seeing her daughter crying.

"Please" Aria sobbed.

"I don't want to either. But your father wants me to sign the divorce papers...we talked yesterday but he's so persistent on getting a divorce" Jieun said softly.

"Why can't he just stay for me? Will he move out if you guys gets divorced? Will he leave us?"

Jieun let out a sigh. The pain in her chest only got bigger by the minute upon hearing Aria sound so broken.

"I don't know" Jieun whispered. "But even if he does move out, I'm sure you can still meet up with him, Aria"

"B-But he's going to leave me"

Jieun pulled up in front of a restaurant. "I'm trying to make him stay"

"He's being selfish" Aria whispered. "He only cares about Taehyung"

"He cares about you too. You're his daughter. He loves you. You're his little girl no matter what"

"I can't believe he loves Taehyung. It's ridiculous. Taehyung is a piece of shit. He used all of us. He's a whore"

"Aria!" Jieun scolded. "Don't say that!"

"Are you protecting him? Mom what the fuck?"

"Language" Jieun said. "I'm not. But he doesn't deserve to be called a whore"

"He is a whore. Did you know that he used to have sex with people for money before he met dad?"

"What?!" Jieun was aghast.

"See? Mom you don't know anything about him. He is a whore. Bet he wanted money after sleeping with dad"

"I don't think that's true, Aria. He..." Jieun was bewildered. "He was so nice"

"Well he fucked dad"

"Aria" Jieun warned. "Your dad is an adult. He was having an affair behind my back and it's me and your dad's business. You wouldn't get it. But I understand why he did what he did"

"Are you serious?" Aria said, looking angry. "After all he's done you're still protecting him?"

"What can I do? I still love him" Jieun said, tears starting to make their way down her cheeks. "I had you when I was sixteen and he was the one who was always there for me. He's not a bad person. Anyone else would never have taken responsibility. Your dad looked after me. He was forced to become mature after I had the baby. He was forced to grow up and become and adult at your age. I think we should all cut him some slack"

Aria was silent for a while. "So did you"

Jieun stared ahead of her as tears trailed down her cheeks.

"We should cut you some slack too"

"I want him to stay for you. I tried all I can last night to convince me. I felt like shit afterwards. But I had no choice. I don't want him to leave us"

"Mom..."

"But I've used up all my cards, Aria. There's nothing I can do anymore. I told him about the possibilities if a divorce happens and how it would affect all our futures. But if he still wants a divorce, there's nothing I can do. I'll sign the papers and divorce him"

Aria sighed. "Does he love Taehyung more than me? More than the new baby?"

A loud sob escaped Jieun. She quickly covered her mouth and wept.

"Mom" Aria said, voice thick with sadness. "Mom don't cry"

Jieun shook her head. "I'm okay" She said groggily.

"No you're not" Aria placed her hand on Jieun's shoulder, squeezing it.

"I'm sure we can find a way to live without him" Jieun said in a small voice. "I mean I will find a way. He's not exactly leaving you"

"This isn't fair"

"I'm sure he thinks differently"

Aria wiped Jieun's tears, pout decorating her lips as she watched her mother. Jieun looked at her and smiled.

Jieun knew what she did the previous night was too much. But she couldn't control her emotions. Selfishly, she couldn't entertain the thought of letting Jeongguk go. And Jeongguk was being so difficult. It pained her to see him hating her so much.

She hadn't slept that night. All she could think of was how much she regretted making Jeongguk believe he was the father. Maybe if she had raised Aria alone, none of this would've happened. She would not be crying herself to sleep for weeks and crying until there were no tears left. She wouldn't be this stressed out, thinking about her children's future.

She had this coming. But years and years of happy marriage had made her forget that her actions could have consequences and that it would backlash on her one day. That day had come and it hurt more than she thought it would because she was too much in love with Jeongguk.

Maybe if she hadn't walked to Jeongguk and told him that she was pregnant with his baby all those years ago, both of them would have been living happy lives by now. Separately.

"I did something really bad to your father"

"What?" Aria was confused.

"Something happened long ago and it left a negative effect on your father's life. And I'm responsible for that. So I want you to know that if we get divorced, I caused it and not your dad because he deserves to be happy too"

"What did you do?"

Jieun stayed silent for a while. And then, "It doesn't matter. It's long ago. But I believe that it excuses his actions. It excuses him cheating and wanting to divorce me"

"I don't think it was that bad"

"It was. Believe me. Not everyone is black or white, baby. Everyone has a certain amount of evil in them. Me and your dad did awful things to each other, okay? I did something bad and he cheated on me. Both are bad, okay? But you don't have to think about it because it's between us. Bottom line is, don't hate your dad"

"I hate him"

"Stop being a brat. Your father sacrificed his whole youth to raise you. He and I would be really disappointed if you turn out to be a bad person. So behave yourself. Don't become like me or your dad"

"I didn't ask to be born! Maybe you should've aborted me if you didn't want me!"

"Aria! Shut it. I wanted you. So did your dad. That's why we kept you. Don't ever say that again. We both love you. So much. We only want the best for you. Don't ever forget that"

"If he wants the best for me, why isn't he staying?"

"Because he also wants the best for the person he loves. He's torn between two worlds. We should cut him some slack"

-

"Holy fuck Tae!" Jeongguk screamed, jumping up and down along with Taehyung. "I can't believe this"

"Me neither oh my god! Look at this" Taehyung handed Jeongguk his phone. Jeongguk saw an email with the art academy's logo on top of it.

"'You've been selected for an interview'" Jeongguk read. "Holy shit. When they say they're interviewing, it means that you're obviously going to get selected. Because they only invite the people they want to enroll!"

"I know!" Taehyung grinned. "I can't believe this! I applied but I never thought I would get selected. Wait is this legit? What if it's a prank?"

Taehyung started reading the screen again and Jeongguk peaked in with him.

"Nope nope it's legit. Look at this. It says Taehyung Kim. And it's sent by their official email address. And the vice chancellor dude's signature is here too. What the fuck?"

Jeongguk grinned. "How did this even happen?"

"I don't know! I mean I did a lot of art projects in high school and I sent all of them to them when I applied! They must be interested in me because of them!"

"Holy shit, Tae! Congratulations!" Jeongguk wrapped his arms around Taehyung, squeezing him.

"Thank you oh my god!" Taehyung said, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk. They started jumping around in joy, still in their embrace and grinning like fools.

When Jeongguk pulled away, Taehyung's eyes were puffy with tears.

"Why are you crying?" Jeongguk asked.

"I'm so happy This feels like a dream. Can you pinch me? I think it's a dream"

Jeongguk grinned and pinched Taehyung.

"Ow!"

"it's not a dream!" Jeongguk said.

"It's not!"

"You're going to New York!"

"I'm going to New York!"

Jeongguk stopped smiling, realty finally crashing down on him. "You're going to New York?"

Taehyung's grin was slapped off his face. "Oh"

An uncomfortable silence stretched between them, both of them trying to process what was going on.

Taehyung was the first to speak up. "My mom's in New York now. I could meet her too"

"That's awesome" Jeongguk said in a small voice.

Taehyung shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Um..."

"You'll leave?"

Taehyung was speechless. "I..."

"Tae..."

"I...I wouldn't be gone for long"

"The degree is four years"

"Um...I need to speak with my mom"

Jeongguk stayed silent for a few seconds. "Will you leave me?"

"It's not like I want to!"

Jeongguk nodded, taking a step towards Taehyung. "This is important for you. I understand"

"Yeah. I've always dreamt of going to New York Art Academy. This is like one in a million chance"

Jeongguk nodded. "I'll wait for you"

"Oh"

"What?" Jeongguk's heart sank. "You..."

"No I'm just..."

"What?"

"I want to go" Taehyung said, looking down.

"I know. We can do long distance-"

"We can't" Taehyung said.

"W-what?"

"It's not going to work"

"How would you know? You've never done it!"

"I...I don't want to"

"Taehyung?" Jeongguk felt his heart break.

Taehyung gulped. "You...I love you so fucking much. And I want to be with you so fucking badly. But...the more I think about it the more I feel like we're impossible"

"No, Tae. I'm definitely going to divorce Jieun and we're going to move in together-"

"No we aren't"

"Tae..."

"I'm going to New York. I'm leaving you"

"You haven't decided that yet"

"Jeongguk what do you mean? New York Art Academy? I am going. I want to! This is my dream. It's like a lottery ticket. You graduate from there and companies are going to beg you to work for them! Do you want me to stay here for a relationship that there's almost no hope of continuing?"

"Taehyung what do you mean no hope?" Jeongguk's chest throbbed painfully. Tears were in the brink of falling from his eyes. "We love each other. We have all the hope in the world. I love you! And I'm going to divorce Jieun-"

"You said it will affect us negatively. You said it could fuck up all our lives. And a healthy relationship isn't supposed to destroy our lives. But all I see is me losing myself every time I let you come back to me after throwing me away"

"Taehyung please. After I get a divorce everything will be better"

"No, I don't think so. You're still going to be bound to that woman because of your children. And you aren't even sure about your divorce now. They're just words and I've heard your words. I've heard you tell me that you want me in your life and go running back to your family"

"You're coming up with all these arguments. Do you hate being with me this much?"

"I stayed with you for so long. I waited for you even when you told me to go away. I was here for you to come back to every time you chose your family over me. And even now you're trying to prioritize your stupid daughter over me. You're thinking of her wellbeing more than mine. If we continue this, all I'll ever be for you is a second option. And that's what I hate. Not you. Not us. I'm sick and tired of feeling like this"

"Tae...that's not true. You and my family are two different things"

"Not really"

"What?"

"If this works out, wouldn't you and I be family? Or have you not thought that far ahead because I'm just a fling to you?"

"Taehyung you're being irrational-"

"No" Taehyung's voice was steady. "I'm not like the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. You need to earn me. I need to see you making effort to get me. Because all this time all I've been is the boy you come running to when you're sad, lonely or horny. Every time you've fucked up I'm here to welcome you with wide arms. Every time we've doubted our relationship we got back together. Because I'm here for you to come back to. And I'm sick of that. If this continues, I'm going to get hurt. Just like I did every time you made me feel like the second choice. Just like every time you told me to stay away from you. And I feel like that's going to continue for a while, at least"

"Taehyung I'm trying. Please" tears made their way down Jeongguk's cheeks like a waterfall and he couldn't stop them. His heart clenched painfully and he didn't know what to do. "I'm fighting for you. Everything I'm doing is for you. I'm getting the divorce for you. I'm thinking of split parenting because of you"

"That's why this is wrong! You shouldn't be doing things for someone, Jeongguk. You've been doing things for other people your whole life and nothing for yourself. Please, Jeongguk. Please start doing things for yourself. All those things, you shouldn't be doing them for me, it should be for yourself! Because you deserve to be happy"

"Please don't leave me" Jeongguk said brokenly. "I want you in my life. I'm trying to make you happy, Tae"

Taehyung shook his head. "You don't understand. Happiness doesn't come from people around you. It comes from inside you. And now you're just depending on me for happiness. Aren't you?"

"Yes but-"

"That's not supposed to happen"

"But I love you. You're my only happiness"

Taehyung sighed. "It hurts to have you in my life. It hurts not having you in my life. I can't win. I might as well..."

"Don't. Don't say it. Please. Don't go. We can, make this work. We can-" Jeongguk stopped himself, eyes widening.

He sounded exactly like Jieun.

"Jeongguk" Taehyung stepped closer to him. His perfect face was scrunched with sadness. His eyes were puffy with tears and Jeongguk knew they weren't ones of happiness. Like before.

"This is so toxic. Both of us keep hurting each other. This is destroying both of us, don't you see?" Taehyung said.

Jeongguk was speechless. This can't be happening.

"No" Jeongguk shook his head violently. "I can't let you go"

"Jeongguk" Taehyung sobbed. "Do you think I want to? I would rather hurt myself by staying in this toxic relationship rather than leave you because you're here. But I want to go to New York and for once, let me be selfish. I know you're going through a hard time and you need me now more than anything. But let me be selfish for once in my life. Because you have been when it comes to me"

"Tae..." Jeongguk sobbed.

"I think we should take a break"

"Baby"

"Please. It's good for the both of us. Even if I decide to leave, it won't be for a couple of more weeks. There's so much things to do. So we should stay away from each other and think things through. We should take a step back and focus on ourselves a little. You need to get your shit together. You go and try to solve those problems you're in and do what you really want to do. Not because of me, not because of your family"

Jeongguk stayed silent, staring at his feet, head empty and heart heavy.

"Let's try to solve our problems separately, hmm?"

Jeongguk was silent for a few seconds and then he nodded numbly. "You're right" He whispered. "I'm sorry for acting like a child"

"You didn't, baby" Taehyung said softly. "I'm sorry"

"No. everything you said is true. I was a shitty person to you. And you deserve someone better than me"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Gguk. You just need to grow a little alone. You need to be by yourself a little and explore a little. Because all your life you've been attatched to a family and then right after that, me. I think you need to figure yourself out. Alone"

Jeongguk nodded, staring at the floor. He couldn't meet Taehyung's eyes. "You're right"

"I love you, Gguk. I just wish the situation we're in was different"

"You think it would've worked out better if we were in a different situation? Where I didn't have a family to take care of?"

"Of course. We would've been the most perfect couple" Taehyung said as a tears trailed its way down his cheek.

"I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry too"

"You're...really smart, Tae. And mature. So much more mature than me"

Taehyung shook his head. "You're just broken, Gguk. And you should fix yourself alone. Not depending on anyone"

"You're right" Jeongguk nodded. He felt so fucking empty.

A silence stretched between them, the two men awkward staring down at the floor lost in thought. It was Taehyung who spoke first after a while.

"You should leave"

"I'll get going, then" Jeongguk said as he took a step away from Taehyung. "I'm going to talk to my lawyer and figure shit out"

Taehyung nodded. "Let's steer clear from each other"

"Okay"

"I won't meet you after lectures and I won't be calling or visiting you"

"Yeah" Jeongguk wanted to cry again. "This is a good idea"

"I need to tell my mom and ask her what she thinks"

Jeongguk nodded. He quickly put on the rest of his clothes and stumbled towards the door of Taehyung's bedroom.

"Go back safely" Taehyung whispered.

Jeongguk started going down the stairs and Taehyung followed. Jeongguk was about to leave without talking to Taehyung because he knew he would breakdown again but-

"Gguk"

Jeongguk turned around.

Taehyung stepped closer to him. Tears ran down his cheek like no tomorrow. And it only made Jeongguk's heart clench tighter in his chest.

"My baby" Jeongguk whispered.

Taehyung let out a sob. "I'm so sorry"

"Baby" Jeongguk whispered. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry"

Taehyung shook his head. He cusped Jeongguk's face with his palms and brought his face towards himself. Jeongguk closed his eyes right before Taehyung's lips met his.

Jeongguk wrapped his arms around Taehyung, drawing him closer to his body and securing him in an embrace. Jeongguk added pressure to the kiss and Taehyung opened his mouth, letting Jeongguk press his tongue inside.

Taehyung's hands were on Jeongguk's hair and Jeongguk tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Tears ran down his cheek and as his cheek pressed against Taehyung's he felt Taehyung's tears against his own.

When they pulled away, Taehyung was sobbing. Jeongguk looked at him once more and left the house. And throughout the whole ride Taehyung's words played in his mind over and over again like a broken record:

"You should leave"

Is this how Taehyung felt when Jeongguk said the same words to him that time?

》♡《

Thoughts?
Do you think Taehyung's decision is right?

Answers to the Q & A next! I hope you guys would read it!

》 Q & A 《

Taehyung

1. what's so bad about jk having a child ? just help him, tbh you're being very selfish by mochimochitae95

First of all, I don't want to see him destroying his life all over again. Second of all, I'm scared that he would let me go when he realizes he has to take care of his child, and that his own child is more important than me, who's just his boyfriend. He has let me go and tried to let me go several times and it'll only be a matter of time until he decides again that his little family and kids are more important to him than me. I don't want to get my heart broken again. and third of all, fuck you. yes, I'm being selfish. Because I care about my feelings. If he decides he's going to raise the baby by himself, I'll have to contribute to and at the end of the day I'll be doing shit for a kid that's not even mine. I'll end up just like Jeongguk. So yes. I'm being selfish. Sorry for thinking about my fucking future.

2.Taebaby everything will be alright. How are you holding up? by Imcringey101

I'm trying not to lose my shit these days. Everything that's happening with Jeongguk is making me so stressed out. and there's nothing I could do to help him. Hope he will get his shit figured out.

3. tae i love u but at least offer jungkook your help if he ends up with split parenting you love kids we been known. by scidila

Fine.

4. my baby, please, please know that jeongguk loves you so much and would do anything for you. never forget that, okay? by urmomgaie

i know he loves me. that's all I know

5. Opinions on having children? BeomgyuXsanitizer

I want to have children later in life when I'm married to someone.

6. Would you like to help Jeongguk with raising his child or not? taetaaekookiiies

I don't really want to. I don't like it.

7. Do you really not want Jeongguk to split parent? What if you were in his shoes? You had a kid with some manipulative asshole that is constantly trying to make your stay with her/him/them but you love someone else, someone better. Would you just ditch the kid so you could be with your lover or would you still want to raise the kid but still be with your lover? I don't know I just don't really understand your reasoning. I understand that you might think the child would make Jeongguk leave you for Jieun but like knowing Jeongguk (hopefully) he'll choose you. by Bts4lifeuwho

Okay fine! Don't scold me! like fuck! I'm just trying to not get hurt later on because I've seen him leave me before for this exact reason: his kid. I don't mind him split parenting even though i don't like it 100%. i wouldn't like to take care of his child for him though.

7. What would you do if Jungkook loses his job? Eviolus-

I'm sure he would be able to find a new one because he has a lot of qualifications.

8. Does Jungkook being older not strain your relationship? Eviolus-

Not really. I like it that he's older. And I think he could take care of me. But we've both been taking care of each other lately and i love that too.

9. Do you love Jeongguk enough to destroy both of your futures and possibly lose friends, family, and people's respect? ausernamenobodyhas_

If i have to lose my future, dreams, friends and family who I love and who are worth my love, it would mean that I'll have to lose myself in the process too. So if a love makes me lose myself and my worth, it wasn't love in the first place. It's toxic.

10. Ouch, mate, how do you deal with all of this? ausernamenobodyhas_

I remind myself that it's going to be worth it in the end. And if this works out, Jeongguk will be mine and my pain is going to be worth it.

11. Brace yourself Tae. The author is out and about. gerrysquarepants

The author will do what's best for me. She loves me and intends me no harm. She wouldn't do me dirty. I'm her bias after all.

12. Do you know that aria is your sister and how do you feel that your dad is a huge asshole? by gerrysquarepants

Haven't you been paying attention to the story? Jeongguk told me that she's my sister in chapter 38 smh. I already know my dad is a huge asshole. I've gone without seeing or hearing his voice for years and that speaks a lot.

13. How is your mother? gerrysquarepants

She's doing well. She actually got a new job and she's doing much better now. also we call like every few days. She's doing amazing and I'm happy about that.

14. In the very far future do you think you'd want a baby with jungkook? gerrysquarepants

Yeah of course. I'd love to, if it's our baby.

15. Would you be okay if they expose you in court? gerrysquarepants

I haven't thought about that...I don't want to ruin my future though.

16. taehyung i love you pls leave Jeongguk it's the best for you and him❤️ ggukietopstae

don't tell me what to do

17. I'm not mad at you Tae baby for having this feelings, but I am disappointed that Kim Taehyung can't understand that Jungkook has a moral and biological duty to provide and also be a active participant in that child's life. CeciliaGranados1

i can understand that. But i don't want to be involved in something that would get my heart broken.

18. Hello taetae umm so I don't know why all the people in the comments are so mad at you but I want you to know don't stress yourself out. You should relax take some days for yourself and just think but don't overthink kamaria2311

thank you. I'll try my best.

19. Will you drop JK? You_need_J-pope

i love him so i really don't want to.

20. Will you be okay with divorce thingy even if you know the consequences will negatively affect both your and jeongguk's future? kittie_tan

I just want us to be happy together, honestly. But I'm not sure if i want to sacrifice my future and dreams for anything.

21. Will you confront Jieun about things? Jungkook has certainly tried everything and it's not even close to being concluded. Will you ever do your part of the relationship? jo__kook

I don't really want to talk to her. It'll be really awkward so I'd better not.
But if i have to talk to her about the divorce, as long as it's for Jeongguk's happiness, I wouldn't mind confronting her.
And wdym my part? My part in me and Jeongguk's relationship is loving him dearly and supporting him while we're together.

22. Do you want to have kids with jeongguk in the future? If so what is the difference in adopting one and raising jungkook's biological child? taekoobby

If we get married, of course. Look, I wouldn't mind adopting Jeongguk's child. That's not the point here. the Point is that I'm still 20, I'm in college, and I have my whole fucking life ahead of me. The last fucking thing i want is a child, when I'm a dude with daddy issues and loves being called baby. I just graduated highschool and what the fuck makes you think i would want a kid at this age? I want to live my life. Look what had happened to Jeongguk. I don't want to waste my youth on some child. I wouldn't mind having kids when I'm older, got a decent job and when I'm stable. I'm struggling to submit my assignments in time. How the fuck would I raise a child?

23. Baby just drop everyone and come with me I will spoil you rotten I love you bubba. And don't be sad and stand for yourself and if you want then support jk but if you don't then just kick him out ik he loves you but at this point that bitch is just using you as a stress ball taelax_31

I don't even know you...
Anyways, I don't think Jeongguk is using me. I don't...want to think that. A relationship is about giving each other emotional support, and that's what we're doing.

24. Will you be okay if jungkook tells you what will happen in the future after divorce ? bubblewrap_tae

Well I guess he'll have to tell me the whole story first.

25. i know this may sound absurd but do you really have faith and trust in jungkook? i wanna know what you think because jieun is eating my head ;-; irxesistible

Um...I have faith in his love for me.

26. if JK not doing the right thing leave him let him Learn to become a man. Norahnorah132

Yes. One thing I've learned from 20 years of living is to prioritize myself and not prioritize people who won't do the same for me.

27. Can you face the consequences even it's bad? avasung

I'm yet to figure that out.

28. Just stand with kook if you really love him till the end Ruchiwadhwa

even if it destroys me?

29. Stand with him till the end you know how much he's been through......he also wanna be with you it's just circumstances... please support himm....i know you're also going through a lot ...but think about jungkook he had already lost many things and only thing he's fighting for is you ... because you're his only one happiness baby please stay strong and support him...we are all with you please don't leave him alone .... you know he's still young . taekookssi47

you sound so toxic. Children, this is the definition of a toxic relationship.

28. What if jungkook decides to take this to court and he loses his job and u get expelled.. Will u be still with him.. And love him.. Or will u blame for tarnishing ur future..? starlight_twill

It's a divorce. He will have to take it to court. And I'm not sure anymore.

29. How do you imagine, topping Kook? sadrafts

there's usually a way that happens. I imagine i would stand between his legs, parting them to reveal his virgin hole (uwu) and I would spread lube all over my fingers. I would start with one finger and take extra time in prepping him because it's his first time oh god that's cute. and then when he's all ready, I would push inside him, fuck him merciless and have him whimpering under me like the little cockslut he is. He would want it more and we can switch all the time.

I mean *cough* I'll top him if he lets me.

30. Do you like anime? LitaYuasa22

Yesss! Of course! My favorite is Yuri On Ice :) What about you?

31. What would you do if you were in jk's positon? Will you abandon them all and live ur life as you wanted or a split parenting like live half and half? koootae

i would do what makes me really happy. I would not be selfish, though. I would do what's best for myself and my boyfriend. I would find a way around the issue and try to come up with a solution to keep me and him both happy. If we could stay together, I would agree to split parenting.

32. Make a sex tape with jungkook and send it to Jieun please LIKE SHE NEEDS IT Alienrayforgalaxy

eye-
We don't want her to get traumatized lmao

33.i know it may seem that jungkook uses you to de stress and avoid responsibilities, but i think he's just trying to be honest and keep you understanding the situation because he loves you so much. do you think you can be patient with him and do you love him enough to do so? lovelylleo

yes of course. I love him. I can be patient with him and I have been, all this time. I would've given up on him long ago if i didn't have faith in him to figure his shit out choose to be with me in the end.

34. Will you top jk? Manya_3010

Sure, I wouldn't mind if he lets me ;)

35. leave jeongguk. know your worth babe ❤️ validtaeland

*sigh*

36. how are you a king? memes_for_all

I'm not...a king

*cough* wait maybe I am because I'm cute as fuck

37. Taehyung, if Jeongguk asks you if it's okay to raise the child, will you agree? BangtanGirlNini7

I'm not ready to raise a child just yet. I have a lot of hopes and dreams and I don't want them getting crushed over anything.

38. Are you really happy with Jeongguk, baby? If not, will you end your relationship with him? Taeggukscloset

I love him and I was happy for the last few weeks with him. I'll be happy as long as we are together in the end without both our worlds being destroyed.

39. Fighting!! You and jk can survive this! And please fucking slap jieun and aria. and then punch your dad. Veni_1992

Thank you! But Sorry I can't, I don't approve of animal abuse :(

40. Can you please just go and fucking murder jieun? That pathetic bitch is tryna steal your man chimchim_word5

Even though she was so cruel to Jeongguk and I hate her for that, I don't think it's my place to do anything to her. Because she treated me so well when I lived with her. And I feel like I owe her, regardless of how bad of a person she is.

41. How does it feel to have jungkook?

It makes me feel like I'm at the top of the world.

Jeongguk

1. You're going to be with taehyung, right? taetaepurples

I will do everything I can to be with him.

2. Are you ready to give up everything for Tae? You better be because I'm NOT letting you hurt him and letting you go back to that bitch ImCringey101

As much as I want to be with Taehyung, I can't possibly give up on my daughter and my other child. As much as I am Taehyung's boyfriend, I'm also a father. And I can't give up on that role. But it doesn't mean I can't still be Taehyung's boyfriend. Please try to think realistically. And I'm not going back to Jieun.

3. please choose your happiness over the happiness of another one even if it's your child. You never were happy with your life now u have a chance to be scdila

I know. That's why I'm trying so hard to be with Taehyung.

4. What future do you see with Tae? BeomgyuXsanitizer

I see us living together, happily, taking care of each other and beautifully in love. I can also imagine a future where we get married and maybe if Taehyung wants, have as much children as he wants.

5. Do you really love Taehyung with all of your heart? CutieSushi75

Of course i do. I'm trying to get out of my marriage asap so I can be with him. Because his happiness is what matters to me the most.

6. U do realize that jieun is trying to manipulate u ,right? jeonjaeun10

Yes, I know. She wants me to stay in that toxic marriage. That's why I need to speak to my lawyer and come up with a solution because after all, what she said about the divorce is true.

7. Are you really able to leave your child because of tae?? lovefillieandmileven

I wouldn't be able to completely abandon both of my children. Especially Aria, because I raised her after all. But that doesn't mean I can't be with Taehyung, right?

8. What's your favorite negative number? Bts4lifeuwho

-23

9. so weird question but will you EVER let Tae top? Bts4lifeuwho

I feel like he's too much of a baby to top me. But I mean...I wouldn't mind, I guess? I honestly don't know what to feel about that. I mean we can always bring more spice to the bedroom. So, yeah, if he really wants to.

10. How do you deal with all of this, your life? ausernamenobodyhas_

I just keep reminding myself that Taehyung will be mine in the end and it keeps me going.

11. How are you still hopeful? ausernamenobodyhas_

Because I'm still alive. Where there is life, there is hope :)

12. How do you feel about the whole court thing and would you expose and ruin everyone's reputation just to get away from her? gerrysquarepants

Honestly, I'm scared. I don't want to ruin Taehyung's future. I don't care about Jieun's reputation. She deserves some sort of punishment for what she did to me.

13. If Tae doesn't want to help raise it what would you do?

I'm sure Jieun will take care of the baby.

14. How does it feel to be with someone 10 years younger? Does it sometimes feel like talking to a child because you have different maturity levels? How cute does tae look when he begs for something?

It's my first time actually dating anyone so it feels amazing. Taehyung doesn't act immature most of the time so it's not difficult at all. But he does seek my attention all the time. he's clingy sometimes. But I find that adorable. However I feel like I'm the more immature one in the relationship so we both take care of each other and that's wholesome. And yes! He looks so fucking cute when he begs for stuff. On normal days though. Because I'm the one who does the begging in the bedroom most of the time ;)

15. According to you taehyung was your preference.... So can you say that in a way you saw your own younger self in tae who loves art and wants to explore.... And in the end being with tae is like enjoying your youth which was totally shattered ( which in no way you take this as selfishness) nd.....also you wish to spend the rest of your time with tae living and creating memories Raybellia

I guess you could put it that way. But I'm yet to find who I really am. And Taehyung's life wasn't like mine at all.

16. do you love taehyung or do you love the freedom you never had that he gives you? because honestly it doesn't look like you do love him. ggukietopstae

It's both. But I do love him truly.

17. Can you leave Tae alone? You_need_J-pope

B-but i love him

18. How about living separately without the divorce trash? jo__kook

I will still be bound to Jieun and I don't think Tae would like that.

19. What is you favorite position with Tae? TaekookShiperbish

I like missionary because I can see him. I also love it when he's on top and he orders me around. :)

20. Fuck you by taelax_31 X1_lifegreat

You never will :)

21. Can you please take some time and clear your head? Don't go to Tae. Figure out your emotions, and thoughts, then make a decision. Taekookismyhome

With the shit that happened lately, I feel like i really should.

22. Do you prefer guys? my_baby_bear

No I prefer Taehyung.

23. tell us abt your first time doing phone seggs with tae RileyScarbrow

It kind of happened unplanned. We were just on facetime and Taehyung was shirtless, showing all the marks I left on him the previous day. and I got really turned on so I silently started palming myself. And I bit my lip, trying not to moan and I wasn't paying attention to what Taehyung was saying. Tae caught on real quick and the moment i showed him my bulge, he started palming himself too. then we started touching ourselves together. The first time he even used the buttplug. It was amazing.

24. Yah Jeon Jungkook your my bias i love you💜 Fk_kookie

What's a bias

25. jungkookie , when are you gonna let yourself feel free and happy? irxesistible

I'm trying...I really am.

26. Let me get this straight, are u straight or nah? PWERIODT

Bro I fucked Tae a couple hundred times. How can I be straight? But I don't think I'm gay either. I'm still trying to figure myself out.

27. Can u please think of an idea to make everything right? avasung

Yes, that's what I'm trying to do.

28. I've almost lost my hope in you and tae tbh F4IRYTAEL

Bro....

29. Are you gay? Or are you gay? teaffected

I'm gay for Taehyung.

30. If aria was your child would you leave Jieun even then??? Lifeisshitu

Yes. For Taehyung and my happiness, I will.

31. get yourself a life and don't get hurt. try setting your priorities, maybe? you and tae, you both are made for each other. make it work and don't let anyone say you otherwise. itswintae

And what exactly are my priorities? Because all I could think of Tae and Aria. And I can't really choose.

32. R u going to leave tae?😡😡🔪 Mkanjalilkl

No...I don't want to.

33. Make a right choice and the right choice is taehyung Bts_love_09

What about my daughter? Are you telling me to abandon her?

34. what exactly was so intriguing about taehyung the first time you seen him that made you want to sleep with him? scorpiopanic

I don't think I can explain. When I saw him, I forgot who I was. It was like a magnetic pull. As if you've found someone you've been looking for your whole life, without even knowing that you were looking for them. All I wanted to do was go after him and get to know him. I knew there was something about him the moment my eyes landed on him.

35. Can I kill Jieun? LitaYuasa22

I don't think you should go to prison because of her and destroy your whole life, kid.

36. Hello.... I want to ask if you are okay?🥺 Like mentally it would be a lot straining. I hope you find what you want to do and i hope nobody gets hurt in the process... Take care of everything 💜 koootae

I'm trying to hold myself on my feet every day. I feel tired all the time. And I don't know what i should do and it's killing me.

37. Jungkook what would ur life had been if the whole Aria thing didn't happen??Would u hv taken interest in boys??? vk_1097

I'm sure I would have. It's not something I can choose anyway.

38. Do you want the child? Do you want to stay with your child? Queen_Taekim

I never wanted it. But I don't have a choice but to be its father now. Because it's still my child and I can't just abandon it.

39. Is there a chance that you would change your mind, for jieun? Queen_Taekim

I'm going to do everything i can to get out of the marriage.

40. Have the thought of killing Jieun ever crossed your mind after knowing her deeds? Alienrayforgalaxy

You're funny.

41. will you be happy? memes_for_all

I will try my best to be happy with Tae.

42. If Jieun give the child to you to take care of and Taehyung agrees on that, will you do it? BangtanGirlNini7

Yeah, if Taehyung is okay with that.

43. in preference do you see yourself more liking on males or females? Checkeredgalaxy

I haven't had time to think about that, honestly. I haven't been attracted to any girls or guys after i had aria and I only found girls attractive back then. And I didn't think about liking boys at all. But obviously now I know I'm attracted to men as well.

44. Do you regret having to take care of Aria as her real dad all these years , despite of you not being her biological dad? ZeldaxZora64

As much as I hate to admit, yes. all i could think about is how much my life would've been different if Aria wasn't there and how much happier I would've been, If it weren't for her, I wouldn't even be in this situation.

45. How does it feel to have the most handsome men in the world by your side taekook_Seesaw

Makes me feel like the luckiest man in the whole world.

Jieun

1. can you leave Jk and let him be with tae??thank you Borahe95

I can do that but it would ruin all our lives.

2. I know that you love jeongguk but why would you want to be in a one sided marriage? what benefit does it bring you? urmomgaie

Thank you for understanding that I actually love him. I want him to stay because if he gets a divorce it will ruin my reputation and also the children will suffer without a father.

3. Will you let Jeongguk be happy for once. Or will you make everyone's life miserable bc of a mistake you made? chimminslave18

*Tears up*

4. Is jungkook reallllllly the dad? ArmyxBlackjack

Yes. I never cheated on him.

5. Was Jungkook good in bed 👀 Eviolus-

Yes. He always made me cum.

6. Why don't you just say other reasons, to the court? Like, you don't love each other anymore, and he needs to be alone, but you'll still continue to split-parent your children somehow, why not? Do you want to be so truthful all that much? Are you even trying to make things better in general? Or do you have to reveal the big thing, ruin everyone's (including your) life? ausernamenobodyhas_

We can file a divorce under different reasons, yes. But Jeongguk will have to pay an alimony and to decide that, my lawyer will bring up the charge of adultery against Jeongguk and Jeongguk's lawyer will bring up my lies. That's how it works. Do your research. I'm telling from experience. And there's a high possibility that Taehyung's name will be mentioned, especially in a cross examination during trial.

7. Why so dramatic? Why so annoying ? Why getting on every nerve I have 🗿 Yoonieee06

Because I care and I don't want to be alone! Because it's hurting me.

8. What happened that day...what u talked with mr.kim ? Ashley_Kth

He visited the firm for one of his problems regarding a case that he was involved. and I met him by accident. i tried to ignore him but he wanted to talk. He was just asking what I was doing and about Aria.

9. why u r forcing aria's responsibility on jk when her real father is there? Ashley_Kth

Because Jeongguk is Aria's legal guardian. He's still her father.

10. f I was there in your universe would you let me torture you? Open your body? Replace all of them with cotton? Your brain with a burning flower? Your heart with the heaviest steel? Your eyes with roaches? After the 'surgery' is finished I'll let you be eaten by the insects? I forgot, this is not optiona0l lxy069

No❤

11. Can you fuck out of this story? You_need_J-pope

No. I'm a necessary character.

12. How did you become such a bitch ? HolyTaekookwater_

the world had been unfair to me since my childhood. so I became an unfair person.

13. what would you do if aria's biological father said he wanted to meet aria? 11sweetae

I wouldn't let him meet her. He doesn't deserve to.

14. Was taking care of a child that wasn't even his the only purpose to marry jeongguk in your teen years? Or were there feelings? oceanifity

I developed feelings for him after a few years with him. I just thought he was the sweetest person.

15. girl when will you stop being manipulative?? 😘 wonhaemonie

I'm just telling the truth!

16. What the fuck do you want from Jungkook?

To stay with me and raise the children

17. Any last last words before I kill you? teaffected

I fucked Jeongguk for 15 years and you could never do that. Not in this lifetime.

18. are you happy that nobody likes you and how we all hate you? beyondthesceneot7

I don't know you, but you know me. The issue is with you. *unbothered qween*

19. when will i be able to play ddaeng on your funeral? vottomismyreligion

What is ddaeng

20. have you ever thought about how he might feel? if he knew the consequences and still wants divorce, it's obviously important to him. scorpiopanic

yes, I know that. Look, I don't care about Taehyung. I understand that what I did to Jeongguk was wrong and he wants to be away from me. but if he does, it will have such a negative impact on everyone's lives. also I don't want him to leave me. But if we skip that reason, I just want everyone to not fuck up their lives.

21. When you were sleeping, r u hearing some moans in the other room? Tae's room, exactly. Queen_Taekim

I've heard noises but I don't think they were moans. And the walls are soundproof for the most.

22. How can I manipulate my teacher and make him give me less homeworkers? Alienrayforgalaxy

Ask jeongguk. He's the one good with students. He's so good with them that he even takes them home with him.

23. did it never occur to you that his preference could be men now and that's what he meant? he wasn't saying his preference was younger people. lovelylleo

yes but i just wanted to guilt trip him that moment.

24. why are you ruining his happiness? drowningbrains

I'm just trying to make him not ruin everyone's future.

25. I hope you have a bad day❤️ _aestaetics

I wish you the same!

26. How does it feel that you are not jungkook's preference_KingVincent

It hurts

27. You should've marry a robot instead of a human being KKimchi95

Robots can't cum

28. Jieun, look, Jungkook doesn't love you because of Tae, because of fucking sex okay ? Checkeredgalaxy

I don't understand what I lacked. *tears up*

29. Have you ever consider being a lesbian? taekook_Seesaw

No, I've never shown any kind of romantic or sexual attraction towards women.

Aria

1. help your father and make your mom sign the divorce papers scdila

No I want my parents to be together!

2. How do you feel knowing your mother is a bitch and a liar, your parents are getting a divorce, and your father isn't your actual father? ImCringey101

I don't know what you're talking about. You're the liar.

3. Why did you force yourself onto Tae when he clearly said he wasn't interested in you? Also are you okay? I know this must be pretty hard for you... Bts4lifeuwho

Because I had power over him. And I really wanted to do it. I knew he would come around and enjoy it.

And I'm okay. I don't know what's going on. My parents don't tell me anything.

4. Want a baby sister? Eviolus-

Yes, I'd love that. I hope my mom gives me a sister.

5. What made you like Taehyung, besides what everyone else knows? ausernamenobodyhas_

He was really friendly with me at first and I thought he might like me, so that's why I gave him my number. We texted for a while and I started liking him. I didn't know that he wasn't taking me seriously. And I thought he actually liked me but apparently he never did. It hurt me a lot to hear that he was cheating on me.

6. What will u do when u will learn the truth... will hate ur mom, support jk or play like a bitch Ashley_Kth

WHAT TRUTH ARE YA'LL TALKING ABOUT

7. Can you please be a bit more mature? Taekookismyhome

I'm mature enough!

8. Can you please support your "father" on whatever options he pick? KIM_TAEKOOK23

If my dad leaves mom, my mom will be unhappy. How can I choose a side? I love them both.

9. Do you still have feelings for Taehyung? Why's you decide to rape him? oceanifity

I think I lost my feelings for him when he cheated on me. But later I just wanted to have sex with him.

10. You are slowly turning into your mom, don't be like that and there is a thing called consent try to ask that before getting laid. PWERIODT

Yes, I know that.

11. how does it feels to be as stupid as you are? vottomismyreligion

I'm not stupid!

12. Was there any reason you were so desperate to have taehyung?? Did somebody influence you into forcing him into this? Or were you solely involved in harassing him because you thought you could flex him a as a boyfriend in front of your friends, you little bitch??? candylove1212

Yes. I just wanted him for myself. He's really handsome.

13. How do you feel about your dad cheating on you and how would you feel if somebody told you that your dad isn't your actual dad and your mom forced your dad into a marriage and Taehyung is actually your half brother?? candylove1212

I hate my dad for that! And what do you mean? My dad is my real dad he loves me so much! Go away! I refuse to accept the lies you guys keep saying!

14. Can you please help JK take your mother down? Team up with Tae so that your mother can give jk the divorce clean and simple!!!! xolynne

How would I ever team up with Tae? He's disgusting. And i want my parents to be together.

15. By chance, r u going to support your fathers decision just for Tae? Queen_Taekim

I never will if it involves Taehyung.

Jimin

1. I love you. Please slap some sense into Jieun. ImCringey101

I will, if that bitch pulls something on Taehyung.

2. How's it going? It's been awhile since I've seen you jskjd Bts4lifeuwho

I'm doing great! But super worried about TAehyung. That Jeongguk fucker is pullin more shit in Tae and it's driving me nuts.

3. How close are you to Taehyung, from your perspective? ausernamenobodyhas_

I'm his bestest friend. I've been friends with him for more than 10 years now. We've been through so much shit together so I think I'm the closest to him.

4. Take care of Taehyung Justyourrandomgal

I will, always.

5. How does it feel everytime Tae comes running to you after an argument with jungkook ? How does it feel when Tae doesn't listen to your advise when you just want to be a good friend? gerrysquarepants

It hurts to see him get hurt like that. He does listen to me, but I don't think I can control his heart. He's madly in love with Jeongguk and he can't see how toxic threlationship is.

6. How do you feel about jeongguk and Tae? Also ilysm oceanifity

I hate Jeongguk. I hate how toxic it is. But I can't do anything but provide him a shoulder to cry on when shit goes sideways. And ily2

7. How long have you known Tae? 😃 teaffected

for almost 10 years

8. Can you sing "Filter" by BTS Park Mochi for me? kimeon12

Idk that song. What is BTS?

9. When will you chop jk's dick? taetoos

Ew i don't want to see his wrinkly grandpa dick.

10. how big is that ass ? hinkydonkycory

Big enough to steal your bf, gf, mama and dadda

11. Heyo Chim! Just wanted to ask if you had grown taller than Jeongguk. Taeggukscloset

He's older than me! so ofc he's taller than me!

12. How's it going with Joon? WeirdoBeep

Oh it's going as perfect as it always had. I love him so fucking much that I want to marry him. He's so much better than that Jeon asshole.

Jin

1. Have fun in New York jinnie💕💕 I hope you find love there CutieSushi75

I already found love! And yes, I'll have fun. With my handsome face, I am always happy

2. How have you been? ausernamenobodyhas_

I'm doing amazing! I'm really excited to meet my girlfriend but I'm also worried about Jeongguk. Dude acts like a kid sometimes.

4. What do you like about yourself and about jungkook the most? ausernamenobodyhas_

I like my handsome face the most. About Jeongguk, he's a loyal friend. He's always kind and helpful. Everyone in the campus loves him because he's always sweet to everyone. I think I love how he's so considerate about everyone. And he can be really selfless. It's my favorite and least favorite thing about him because sometimes you have to be a little selfish and put yourself first.

5. Come back Justyourrandomgal

Never for you.

6. Pls marry namjoon HolyTaekookwater_

Who? Oh the smart kid in my class. But what the fuck? I have a girlfriend and I'm going to marry her!

7. Do you know how handsome you are? teaffected

Yes.

8. Hey world wide handsome! How are you? How's life with your girlfriend or fiancée? LitaYuasa22

I'm doing great! Thank you. my fiancée is doing amazing. She's the smartest person I've ever known! And we're both happy and hopefully we'll get married soon.

9. Hello mister why are you so handsome? And by any chance, would you date me regardless of my gender? Hehehe _daphnecybil

I'm pansexual but I don't know who you are so probably not.

10. Were you actually down to fuck jk if you knew he was bisexual? WeirdoBeep

I kind of meant that, yes. But I don't think I'd have because he was married but I'd totally have if he wasn't.

11. Can you like just marry me already? Please I'll be a good wife

Get out of your imagination, it's not good in there

12. how can i feel more confident with myself???

1.Wear things you feel comfortable and confident in. Dress up. Do your make up if you want. Do your hair. 2. Don't give a fuck about what ither bitches gotta say. They be saying shit cuz they willl never be you.They wish they were you. You own this. You're the main character. It's your life. Act like it.

William

1. Who are you?

From the number of people asking who I am, all I've hot to say is that I'm disappointed in ya'll for not paying attention to the story. Are ya'll only here for the smut?

2. Go talk to Jieun. She needs love and she's pretty BeomgyuXsanitizer

Who's Jieun? I will, just gimme her number

3. Dude, how you doin'? ausernamenobodyhas_

Amazing, as always.

4. Honestly I'd be happy if he makes advances towards tae, at least jungkook woukd know the feeling of being betrayed and be able to do nothing. taetoos

Taehyung? I like him a lot but I don't think I have any romantic feelings for him because I don't know him all that much. If he's single, I would totally date him.

5. Will you help TAEKOOK? BangtanGirlNini7

What is a Taekook

6.Can i hire you to be a killer? Veni_1992

No please I'm just trying to complete my degree

Author

1. How did you come up with the idea for this book? Bts4lifeuwho

It came to me in one mid summer night's dream

2. You make me anxious- anyway, what inspired you to write this amazing, nerve-wracking story? ausernamenobodyhas_

I'm not sure...the idea of the plot twist came to me first. And since it seemed to be a solid plot, I was confident I could write it without having a breakdown in the middle of the book lol. So I wrote it.

3. Do you like killing characters? Just asking for... Research purposes. ausernamenobodyhas_

I've never done it and no, personally I don't like it when characters die. Nor do I like unhappy endings :) But if it's necessary to the story and plot, and for a better and strong effect on the readers, I wouldn't hesitate to kill a character.

4. What do you think about divorce, in general? ausernamenobodyhas_

Well...idk it feels like a way to get out of a marriage it someone wanted to? Because nothing lasts forever and I think a couple should consider divorce if things are getting toxic between them. Or things will get ugly, especially if they have kids and it could leave a negative effect on the kids.

5. Will there be more angst?🕳🚶🏻 Yoonieee06

Um...I mean there's only 2 chaps left so...

6. Is there gonna be a bunch of drama in the next two chapters? CutieSushi75

Yes! Of course! I love dramaaa

7. How much angst u r gonna add in this book...ain't it enough.... doesn't tae n jk deserves true love... Ashley_Kth

those two deserve the whole world. But I will write what 've planned for this book

8. do you have fun updating preference? CutieSushi75

Yes! I love updating all my books. I usually update right after I go to sleep and I wake up excited to read the comments. I live for all the comments! :)

9.Is everything going as planned for this book? Are you satisfied with how it's going for the characters atm? 97clouds

Yes and yes. I've had a lot of conflicts during the course of writing but I feel like everything worked out fine. I just hope you guys would stay around for the next few chapters too. And I'm satisfied because I feel like I'm doing better on the chapters than I though I would.

10. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE ONE OF THE BEST AUTHORS ON EARTH?!!? WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Taekookismyhome

Yayy thank you! I love you guys too!

11. Who's side are you really on? oceanifity

I don't have a side. I feel like I'm on everyone's side (except Aria's lmao) but also against everyone at the same time.

12. Which character do you relate to? oceanifity

Jeongguk.I see myself in him, somehow. He can't take a decision on his own. He's emotionally dependent on other people, it's hard for him to choose one person over the other and thinks he owes something to everyone. And he's easy to manipulate. Because he's driven by emotions, not logic most of the time.

13. Will you be writing any more top kook books in the future? taetae699

Yes! I'm actually planning on starting a new top kook book right after I finish with preference. It's going to be an omegaverse one with a lot of fluff. I'm going to pour a bit of myself into it so I hope you guys would give that book love too.

14. What is your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

15. Did you know I love you? 😃 teaffected

Yess I love you too!

16. any tips for writing? evggukjeons

I think good grammar and good vocabulary does wonders to writing. I think it's compulsory if you want other people to hang on to your book. So work on that. And read more. Explore and discover your own writing style. And just because you don't get much views, don't give up. Write for yourself, not anyone else.

And most importantly, do your research before writing about something. Or you would look like a fool in front of a reader who knows more than you. If you're not certain about a fact, don't write about it.

17. how long have you been writing? evggukjeons

I just asked my mom because I don't remember lol and she said I started making shit up since I was like 3 and I think I started writing since I was like 9 uwu. I first wrote from my birth tongue and then started with English after I started learning it.

18. Can you please tell me why you feel sorry for jieun I'm kinda confused ? taekookssi47

Maybe because she's still a character I've made up. My purpose isn't solely for taekook to be together. It's writing fairly and trying to show how each character is feeling in each situation. I would want every character to have a happy ending I don't think she doesn't deserve to be unhappy. because, regardless of all the shit she's trying to pull to make Kook stay, her reasons are valid. Selfish, but still valid. If you take a step back and think about it, she isn't evil. You guys hate her so much because all you want is for taekook to be together and all you see her is as an obstruction to that. It's different for me.

19. what has writing this story felt like to you? sadrafts

I've felt lost so many times. I felt like it was all over the place in the beginning. Sometimes I've felt excited to write it but sometimes it had felt exhausting too. And it has become a habit for me to sit down and wonder how the fuck I'm supposed to get my characters out of the shit I put them into because of how complicated the plot twists are. But in the end I get my shit together and it works out just fine lmao.

20. When do you upload your one-shot book? sadrafts

I have some prompts I want to write. I'll write when I feel like it.

21. How are you? Happy late/early valentines day! I love your books their amazing! Can we be friends? LitaYuasa22

I'm doing okay...ig. Having ups and downs but meh. I wish you the same and of course we can!

22. I loved this book♥️ whatever its end be bcz I knw the author cares for the characters right?!🥺I like ur writing style its kinda dramatic....u bring twists at unexpected moments😅 vk_1097

Yes! I care about them all. And thank you!

23. ma'am

if 2 plus 2 is fourand 5 plus 5 is then what is this?memes_for_all

This is one of the best taekook stories in existence :)

24. Can I get your address 🥰🔪 sexistence10

Will you send me a vibrator? And version 2 of MOTS 7 please :)

25. Are you taking breaks? Maybe taking naps?? Just don't overwork yourself :] WeirdoBeep

I am! thank you for asking. I sleep too much, actually.But I'm just trying to study these days because I lack motivation lol.

26. I just want you to know that you are one of the best authors out there! And EWB is my life I wish there was a sequel to it chimchim_word5

Omg thank you! Sequel to EWB? I'm not sure about that, honestly. I don't think that would happen. I can't think of anything to write about because taekook got married.

27. Do you love your silent readers too? Queen_Taekim

Of course! I love all my readers!

28. Who is your favorite character in this book? taekook_Seesaw

wow that's a difficult question. *sits and thinks for 10 mins*
Jeongguk. I decided it. He's so...I don't know. So...selfless? he wants to make things eight all around him and make everyone happy even if it destroys him. And he's extremely dependent on others for happiness. He's so glued to his role as a father that it's hard for him to be something else than prioritizing that role. He's so imperfectly perfect. I love him. Also I relate to him a little. So yeah. I wish I added more color to his character though.

29. how to get a brain like you? taekonemore

Be born asian, have strict af, toxic parents and be horny 24/7.

--☆--

If you made it this far, thank you sm and I love you💜
I never believed when other writers kept saying Q&A's were exhausting but now ik why they said that 🙃
Word count? 14,419 oop-
Anyways BYE take careee