•°³⁰°•For You ─✵────────

Taehyung heard the doorbell ring inside the house the moment he pressed it. Standing in front of the front door of the Jeon household, dressed in Jimin's sweater and pants that were a bit too tight, he felt like he didn't belong there, despite having sat and spent time on the very stairs leading to the front door of Jeongguk's house.

He could hear footsteps approaching him, loud against the wooden floor inside. His heart raced in his chest and he hoped that it wasn't Jeongguk who's going to open the door.

It wasn't.

"Taehyung!" Jieun almost shouted. "Where were you last night?! I was worried!" she took his hand and literally dragged him inside the house.

"I...um...kind of stayed at my friend's last night. I'm sorry for not informing you about it" Taehyung said in a small voice.

"Jeongguk was worried too. You didn't even pick up your phone!"

"I might not have heard it, Mrs. Jeon. We were out. I'm sorry" It was a lie. The only thing Taehyung did after going to Jimin's was cry and sleep. That night, he realized pizza, ice cream and booze wasn't a good combination at all.

"As long as you're okay" She smiled. "Did you have breakfast?"

"Yes ma'am" Taehyung said. "I'm going to stay at my friend's for a few days, actually"

"Oh" Jieun said. "Is everything alright? Did something happen? You know you can stay here as long as you want..."

"Yes I know" Taehyung smiled at her. "But I've stayed here for almost three months and I think I can find an affordable place because I got some money from my part-time job"

"You can just stay here, Taehyung. None of us would mind. You're a lovely boy"

Taehyung smiled softly. "Thank you, ma'am. But-"

"Taehyung!?" A voice said, making both Taehyung and Jieun look to their side. Jeongguk stood on the staircase, eyes wide with concern. He wore a tank top and sweats and his hair was unruly as if he had just woken up.

He looked so worried that Taehyung's heart skipped a beat. His heart rate only sped up when he advanced towards Taehyung.

"Where the fuck were you last night?" Jeongguk bellowed, pulling Taehyung towards himself from his arm. Taehyung stumbled forward. Jeongguk was watching him with so much intensity that Taehyung wanted to melt.

"Jeongguk! Don't shout at the boy! He's a collage kid. He was probably out partying!" Jieun said.

"He should've told me" Jeongguk said.

"Jeongguk, you're not his dad. He's past the age where elders should tell him what and what not to do. Let him be" Jieun said.

Jeongguk looked at Jieun. "Weren't you in a hurry to go to your office?" there was a hint of anger in his voice.

"Oh! I almost forgot why I came downstairs! Taehyung I'll get going. I have work today and I'm already late" She said, checking her watch. "If you need something, tell Jeongguk"

"Thank you" Taehyung said and watched her walk out of the house.

It was then he realized that Jeongguk was still holding his arm. He jerked away from him and walked past him.

"I asked you where you were last night" Jeongguk asked, following Taehyung.

The younger entered his bedroom. The place was just as he had left it. The sheets unruly and his books scattered all over his table.

"Out"

"Out? Out where? Why didn't you tell me?" Jeongguk said.

"I don't know. Why didn't you tell your wife that you fuck me?" Taehyung shot back as he put some of his books and clothes in his backpack. The only reason he wanted to come here was to get some of his clothes to wear for that party.

Jeongguk let out an exasperated sigh. "Taehyung..."

"Why do you even care? We ended things. Go back to your shit and be the father you always wanted to be"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Jeongguk said. "I just missed you"

Taehyung's actions halted upon hearing Jeongguk's words. He had willed himself not to cry again. He didn't know why he had been crying in the first place. He didn't know why it pained him so much that he and Jeongguk were ending things. But now he could feel the pain coming back.

"It's only been a day and I fucking missed you, Tae" Jeongguk said, sounding defeated. "All I could think about is how I want to have you close to me but I just...can't do that anymore"

Silence stretched between them. "What do you want me to do?" Taehyung whispered at last.

"I don't know"

"I think the best thing I can do for you is leave you be" Taehyung said. "So you can focus on your pregnant wife and your daughter. I will get out of your life"

"Taehyung..."

"That's the least I can do for you"

"I don't want you out of my life" Jeongguk said in a small voice.

Taehyung sighed and turned around to meet Jeongguk' gaze. "You're so selfish, you know that?"

"What?" the older man whispered. He looked so young, at that moment, with his honey skin ignited with morning light sweeping through the window and his eyes gleaming in the soft rays of the sun. He looked enchanting. So young.

So lonely.

"You are trying to keep me and your family in balance but that's impossible, Jeongguk. Not to mention it's wrong. This is your chance to be a real father. And...and raise the kid properly" Taehyung said.

Jeongguk let out a humorless laugh, making Taehyung's eyes widen. "I'm...I'm behaving like a kid aren't I? I'm your teacher, for fuck's sake. And yet, I'm the impulsive one here. I'm the one who's scared of taking responsibilities..." another chuckle.

Taehyung watched him, head hung low, looking dreadful. Taehyung took a step towards him and wrapped his arms around the older. Jeongguk instantly responded. He placed his head on Taehyung's shoulder and squeezed him tight.

"It's not your fault" Taehyung said softly after a while. "You spent your youth raising a child. No one can blame you, really. It's only fair you cherish this feeling, having not felt it years back"

"I should get my shit together and take these responsibilities" Jeongguk said.

"Yeah" Taehyung said. "Besides, it's not like we were dating. I'll be your history in a few weeks. We'll just...find our ways in life again" Taehyung felt himself choking up at the last words.

"Yeah" Jeongguk whispered. "I'm sorry for treating you like you didn't matter to me"

Taehyung shrugged, having had broken the embrace. He went back to packing his stuff. He could feel Jeongguk's eyes caving into his back. But he continued to pack anyways.

When he was done, he turned around. Jeongguk stood there, hands crossed.

Taehyung watched him for a couple of seconds. He looked extremely handsome. Smoking hot, one could say. His long hair that reached the nape of his neck was a mass of messy curls. Some locks fell over his eyes. His biceps were popping out from the way he had his hands crossed.

Taehyung bit his lip, feeling turned on.

"But I still want you" The words were out of Taehyung's mouth in an instant.

Jeongguk looked at him with a remorse look in his eyes. "You know I can't..."

The Jeongguk from a few days back would have had Taehyung bend over the table then and there and fucked him. Taehyung was surprised to hear such a thing from Jeongguk. But he guessed Jeongguk had been trying to make up his mind about letting Taehyung go from the moment Jieun had told him about the pregnancy.

"So you won't fuck me again?" Taehyung knew he sounded desperate. The words that came out of his mouth now didn't match up with the words he uttered to Jeongguk earlier about letting him go at all.

Jeongguk' response took time. It was a whisper. "I can't"

Taehyung smiled. He nodded at Jeongguk. "Good. Keep it that way. Forget about me. I'll take away my other stuff when I find a new place"

"You're moving out?" Jeongguk sounded surprised. "You know you don't have to. You can stay here"

"We both know how that'll end up"

Jeongguk sighed. "Just tell me if you need help"

Taehyung nodded and walked out of his room. Jeongguk followed him. Taehyung stopped at the front door.

"Thank you, for everything" Taehyung said.

Jeongguk looked at him with big eyes, swirling with emotions unshed. "Thank you"

Taehyung smiled. He opened the front door and was about to go out when-

"Tae"

The younger turned around to see Jeongguk standing behind him. He was confused for a second until Jeongguk reached and cupped his face. The next moment, his lips were on Taehyung's.

Taehyung's eyes widened for a second before he closed his eyes. Jeongguk slid his tongue over Taehyung's bottom lip and as if out of habit, Taehyung opened his mouth. Jeongguk slid his tongue inside.

Taehyung dropped his bag out of surprise and let himself be kissed, cherishing the feeling of Jeongguk's lips on his.

Jeongguk tasted like mint. Like toothpaste. But with a hint of that musk that always lingered over Jeongguk. Taehyung's sensed tingled with Jeongguk's smell: vanilla. He gasped into the kiss when Jeongguk's hands cupped his waist, drawing him closer and Taehyung could only let himself be kissed while butterflies erupted in his stomach.

It was an utter bliss, to be kissed by Jeongguk again. And he let him. He let himself have this last kiss. Jeongguk kissed so passionately, as if he hadn't kissed Taehyung in months, even though it's only been a few days.

He was backed off into a wall, right next to the front door and Jeongguk pressed himself against Taehyung. The younger boy's hands were threaded amidst the elder's messy raven curls.

They finally pulled away, gasping for breath.

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk's eyes. They were wide and teary, liquid emotions almost falling off. Before he could say a single word, Taehyung picked up his back pack and stormed out the front door.

-

The music at the party was so loud that it made Taehyung's skin tingle and his lungs feel like mush. The lights changed colour, illuminating the huge crowd in shades of blue, red, green and purple. The bass thumped in time with his heartbeat as they were one, filling his head to toe with the music. Taehyung liked this song.

Over the roar of music, he could hear his friends' laughter. All of them holding drinks while they moved to the beat. Taehyung laughed alongside them, feeling overwhelmed with the booze. The song that was playing got louder, pulling him in and wouldn't let go. Taehyung had no choice but to join the crowd, jumping in a huddled group like Tic-Tacs being shaken in a box.

Everything around him seemed distant. As if he was there but not really there. Maybe it's the weed. Maybe the alcohol. Maybe the pain in his chest that wouldn't go away.

He had pushed away a couple of girls and boys who wanted to dance with him. He wasn't in the mood. Instead, he moved to the beat like a lunatic. The music coursed through his veins, adrenaline high inside him. His grin didn't seem to falter. He downed another cup of beer.

Someone gave him another joint. He took a long drag, the numbing but ecstatic feeling only heightening. He was having fun. So were his friends, he could see. Even Yoongi seemed to be having fun. Jimin said something and Hoseok laughed. Taehyung couldn't hear them over the loud music.

But his attention was quickly diverted back to the song playing and he started dancing again. He didn't know how many cups of beer he had. He was drunk.

After hours of continuous fun, Taehyung decided to take a taxi to Jimin's dorm. Yoongi came with him, thinking that Taehyung is too drunk to go on his own. When they reached the dorm, Taehyung went straight to Jimin's bedroom.

The booze was still high in his veins so he sat on the floor before he lost his balance and fell. He took out the can of beer which he had managed to steal from the party and started drinking it. He never liked beer but anything was good as long as it did the job.

Cheap beer did the job. The job of getting Jeongguk out of his head.

Jeongguk

The thought he had suppressed for the whole night had crossed his mind again. Taehyung gulped down the rest of the beer aggressively and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

But no avail. The image of Jeongguk didn't seem to be going way.

And everything started crashing down on him. The fact that they were over. That Taehyung wouldn't get to wake up to Jeongguk ever again, that they wouldn't go on little dates and talk for hours again. He was being crushed under the weight of reality and tears were streaming down his face uncontrollably.

A strong nausea hit him and he dragged himself up and ran to the bathroom. He gripped the edges of the commode as he emptied the contents of his stomach. He gasped after he was done, feeling like dying. He sat on the bathroom floor, unable to find any strength to get up and make it to bed.

All the emotions that were buried by the exhilaration of party, booze and weed surfaced again and it was the darkness again. The pain. The pain he didn't know the depths and reasons of.

And all Taehyung could think of is Jeongguk, himself and everything in between.

》♡《

I have a question!
Tae topping Jeongguk later in this book (just once) yay or nay?

Oh and stream DYNAMITE!!!
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Sara💖