•°³²°• Come Back Home─✵─────────

Jeongguk scurried through the thinning crowd of the Red Deer, his feet hurried and his mind a chaos of thoughts. His eyes searched the crowd for a familiar face but he could see none. The music was still loud and banging, and some people were still on the dance floor even at 2.00 a.m. Most were slouched on bar tools and sofas, drunk, passed out or making out. He halted in the middle of the area with sofas and searched for Taehyung. But no avail, there was no trace of the boy.

It hadn't taken him five minutes to arrive at the club, driving through red lights at eighty. There wasn't a single soul in the streets. It was the rural area of the city after all.

Jeongguk walked to the bar. He could only flashback to that time he saw Taehyung leaning against that very place, looking like the most ethereal being ever, basked in neon lights. Jeongguk had been mesmerized. If he wasn't married, he would've fallen in love with him that instant.

A wave of nostalgia hit him hard as he walked towards the bar, now almost deserted except for one or two youngsters chatting around the place.

Jeongguk made his way towards them. There was one with black hair, who was talking with the bartender. As he got closer, the boy turned his head and saw Jeongguk. His eyes widened and Jeongguk realized the boy recognized Jeongguk. The boy did look familiar. He may have seen him in the hallways or with Taehyung. He straightened up in the bar stool as Jeongguk walked closer.

"Do you know Taehyung?" Jeongguk asked the boy as he halted next to him.

"Yeah" he said, looking baffled.

"Where is he?"

The boy scoffed. Jeongguk raised his eyebrows at the attitude.

"Trying to fuck up his life again, professor?"

Jeongguk stared at the boy, dumbfounded. He glared at him.

"He doesn't want you here"

"He's drunk. He called me just now. Where is he?" Jeongguk seethed, anger flaring through his nostrils.

The boy scoffed again. "He's my best friend. And you're ruining him"

Jeongguk stared at the boy, wide-mouthed. He was surprised to hear such words from a student. But then...

"Yoongi!" a drunken shout.

The boy and Jeongguk looked at the source of sound. Jeongguk's heartbeat sped up upon seeing Taehyung, drunkenly walking towards them. He was smiling at the boy, Yoongi, and apparently hadn't noticed Jeongguk yet.

And then he did.

Taehyung halted in his steps. His smile fell as their eyes met. The two former lovers held each other's gaze and the time stopped between them. It was just them at that moment. And Taehyung looked so beautiful. It felt like Jeongguk hadn't seen him in ages. Months. His heart ached to see him. And Yoongi was right. He looked fucked up. There were bags under his eyes. His hair was a mess and it looked as if he had just thrown up.

Jeongguk had been longing to see Taehyung, to hear his voice, to touch him and not just for sex. He could barely think of sex the last few days. The only thing he could think of was the throbbing emptiness that followed him everywhere he went. And it had hit him the moment Taehyung barged out of the door the day Jeongguk told him the news. It felt as if Taehyung took all the warmth and life as he went out of his front door.

And Jeongguk was freezing thereafter because the place he called his home didn't feel like home after Taehyung left.

Watching Taehyung now, he felt a spark of warmth inside him. Because he could see Taehyung mirroring his own expression: one of longing and sadness.

Taehyung gulped and finally tore off his gaze from Jeongguk. He started to walk towards Jeongguk...or Yoongi. However, in his drunken state, his figure was wobbly. His steps were unsteady. Then he stumbled.

Jeongguk's limbs worked on their own. It was like some reflex. The next thing Jeongguk knew, he had run across the club to Taehyung to stop him from falling. Taehyung was in his arms.

Taehyung looked at him with wide almond-shaped eyes of his, orbs chocolate. Their faces were inches away from each other. And Jeongguk wanted nothing more than to feel those rosy, soft lips on his own again.

Taehyung tried to get away from Jeongguk, finally having awoken from his daze but Jeongguk only tightened his embrace.

"Jeongguk" Taehyung breathed.

"Taehyung" Jeongguk said, a little breathless.

"Let me go"

"You're drunk. I'm not letting you go anywhere" Jeongguk said, his embrace loosening a little but still holding Taehyung in place. The boy could barely stand straight.

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk. Then his expression changed. His face crumbled and a tear fell down his cheek.

Jeongguk's hear fell upon seeing Taehyung cry. "Tae-Taehyung" Jeongguk could barely form words. "What's wrong?"

Taehyung continued to cry. "Fuck you"

Jeongguk felt himself choking up. "I'm sorry" He whispered.

"I hate you for fucking me up so bad"

Jeongguk stared at the younger boy, still in his arms, tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked at Jeongguk in the most heartbreaking expression.

"I'm sorry, baby" Jeongguk said. "I'm sorry"

"Sorry doesn't cut shit. Go back to where you came from. Your wife is probably waiting for you"

"And leave you here? Where are your other friends?"

"I don't know" Taehyung muttered. "Probably hooking up"

Jeongguk sighed. "Let's go home"

"I don't have a home"

"Yes you do. You can always come to my house"

Taehyung let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah right, where your kid and pregnant wife is residing? You sound ridiculous, do you know that?"

"You were staying there for three whole months, Taehyung. Please I can't let you go like this"

"I have friends. I'm staying with Jimin"

Jeongguk sighed. "The only guy here is that dude, who's as shitfaced as you. He might as well go home with the bartender"

"The bartender is Yoongi's friend" Taehyung whined. "They're going to go to that guy's place. But I can go alone. I'll call an uber"

"No. You're coming with me"

"No!" Taehyung's words were slowly getting slurred. "I'm not going anywhere with you"

"Please. Let me take care of you" Jeongguk was practically begging at this point.

Taehyung sighed. "The whole purpose of me getting drunk is to forget you. The purpose of you staying away from me is to get back to your fucking family. Nothing is working right now!"

"Guess we can't always have what we want"

Jeongguk turned to Yoongi, who was indeed flirting with the bartender. "I'm taking him with me"

"No you aren't" He protested.

"Do you suppose he go to the dorm alone?" Jeongguk said. "He can't even walk!"

"Then drop him off at his dorm. You don't have to take him to your house!"

"He's not even in his right mind. I can't let him be alone. I can take care of him!"

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Listen here. I don't care if you're a teacher at my campus or not. If you hurt him again..." Yoongi was giving Jeongguk a death glare. "We'll see after that"

"Yeah you don't wanna mess with my Yoongles" Taehyung said, eyes half closed and his whole body weight on Jeongguk as he leaned against him. He was close to passing out.

Jeongguk sighed and led Taehyung outside the club. When they reached Jeongguk's car, he seated the younger in the passenger seat and buckled him up. After getting into his own seat, he looked at Taehyung.

"You suck" Taehyung muttered.

"I know" Jeongguk started the engine. "Let's go home"

"I don't have a home" Taehyung whined.

"My home is your home"

"I hate you" with that said, Taehyung closed his eyes. A few moments later, soft snores started escaping him. Jeongguk watched him with a dull ache in his heart. The moon was still gleaming down at them igniting the surroundings with a silvery glow. And the light seemed to make Taehyung himself look angelic, with the moonlight reflecting off his perfect features.

He had undefined feelings for the boy. Jeongguk let out a sigh and looked at the empty road ahead of him.

He pulled the gear and whispered under his breath. "I love you too"

-

Jeongguk carried Taehyung to his room, which was the same as he had left it. He laid Taehyung on the bed and took off his shoes. Then he tucked him inside the duvet.

Jeongguk sat next to the beautiful boy who was fast asleep. He brushed a lock of golden hair off his face. He looked so peaceful like this; face lulled with sleep and soft breaths escaping his parted rosy lips. A crimson blush had crept up the apples of his cheeks and his nose. Taehyung was really pretty.

Jeongguk's heartbeat sped up as he watched the boy, butterflies dancing in his stomach. It was only then he realized the empty feeling that had been following him everywhere had diminished. He could no longer feel it. And Jeongguk surely knew it was because Taehyung was with him. He felt alive again. He felt warm. Taehyung's mere presence gave him warmth.

Jeongguk knew deep down that it wasn't meant to last. Maybe in the morning Taehyung would leave. But he had to cherish what he had now, for he might not get this chance again. He might not get another time to be this close to Taehyung.

It hadn't taken much long for Jeongguk to understand that he had feelings for the younger boy. He didn't understand what this prolonged emptiness and other chaotic feelings meant at first. For he had never known love, even though he thought he had.

He decided what he was feeling was more than just the need to have sex with Taehyung again. the need to just see him, be with him, make him smile had been so prominent that he had to control himself so much to refrain from at least dropping a text to Taehyung.

The only thing that had kept him grounded was Jieun. And reality. The reality that he had a family and his wife was expecting another child. Just because he loved someone else doesn't mean he can abandon his responsibilities and run and do what feels right.

Life isn't easy like that.

Jeongguk was an adult. He was married. He had responsibilities. He was a father. There were responsibilities surrounding his position in the society. He was no longer in his twenties nor was he unmarried and free to 'follow his heart' or whatever. There were so many things wrong with both staying in the situation he was in and leaving it. And he had no choice but to stay.

Somehow, the epiphany of Jeongguk being in love with Taehyung didn't hit him too hard. It was like some sudden realization, a passing thought. But an important one. It was as if Jeongguk had known for a while so it wasn't much of a surprise.

Then the pain hit him that it only made things worse. He doesn't love Jieun. That, he had realized long ago. But the fact that he had fallen in love with someone else when he had a family...and that the person who he had fallen for probably doesn't have feelings for him hit him like a truck. It hurt more than it should have.

But looking at the person who he had finally fallen in love with, for real this time, after thirty years, he was happy. It felt like his whole life had been a lie and Taehyung was his only truth.

And he was the most beautiful boy in the whole world.

Jeongguk leaned down and pressed a soft kiss onto the boy's forehead. Jeongguk took one last look at the boy and stood up from the bed, ready to leave when he felt a tug at his sleeve.

Jeongguk turned around to look at Taehyung, who was holding Jeongguk's sleeve with two fingers. His eyes were only half-open.

"Don't leave me"

Jeongguk stared at the boy with eyes that spoke of all the love he had for the boy. "I should go"

"Don't" Taehyung whispered. "Not again"

"Taehyung..." Jeongguk whispered. "We both know why I shouldn't stay. Aria and Jieun-"

"Stay"

Jeongguk sighed, finally giving up. It's not like he wanted to leave Taehyung's side. Hell, he wanted nothing than to be near him. Feel him close. Take care of his baby. But the whole world was against them, it seemed.

Jeongguk sat on the edge of the bed again and held Taehyung's hand. "I'll stay"

Taehyung hummed and closed his eyes again. Jeongguk watched him as his facial features softened, sleep taking over him yet again. Jeongguk couldn't help but smile. But it barely reached his eyes. The sorrow inside him tugged his lips downward, reminding him of all the odds.

Jeongguk didn't know how long he stayed there, holding Taehyung's hand and watching him sleep. It felt like minutes. Jeongguk finally stood up after slowly placing Taehyung's hand under the duvet. He kissed the younger's forehead one last time and turned to leave.

He walked out of the door, slowly and soundlessly shutting it behind him.

What he didn't see was a tear escaping Taehyung as the door shut behind Jeongguk.

》♡《

Thoughts?

Love,
Sara🌌