"Don't you dare reply to him!"

Lou slams her hand down on my Samsung Galaxy S-Whatever, as it lights up with yet another text message from Declan. I wince, checking for damage to my phone screen, as well as to the table underneath.

I squint at the message on the screen. "But he says he misses me," I protest. "And he's probably worried about me - he hasn't heard from me since I left his flat last night."

My best friend Kim shakes her head, as she has a quick peer at the text too. "He misses you 'a wee bit'," she corrects me. "That seems lukewarm at best."

Ouch. Kim spots my hurt expression and looks contrite. "Sorry, but you need tough love here," she says. "Otherwise you're going to just keep waiting around for him like a lost puppy."

"You can't even pretend this is just a break anymore, Abs," Lou chimes in. "Last night confirmed that."

"Then why does he keep messaging me?" I know I'm being annoying. I can't help myself. His behaviour is making no sense to me.

Kim sighs. "My best guess is that Declan doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy in this situation. He's probably feeling a bit guilty for stringing you along for the last two months, and he's trying to make himself feel better."

"Or . . ." Lou dramatically snaps her fingers together, her red lips curling up in a sneer. "He's being a classic narcissist. He just wants to live rent-free in your head."

"Which would be pretty ironic since he didn't want to live with me at all," I sigh. My head is fucked. These past 24 hours have wrecked my already frazzled brain completely. I don't know what to think anymore.

I phoned my boss first thing this morning and asked for a last-minute day off. The thought of trying to even pretend to work was more than I was even capable of. And then I called Lou and Kim, and arranged to go out, rather than do my usual wallowing. I knew I needed to keep myself busy, especially as the texts continued to roll in from my now-ex.

Lou suddenly snorts, breaking the briefest of sympathetic silences following my last words. "Honestly, the mental image of Dec handcuffed naked to the bed, panicking, has kept me going all day," she says, bursting into laughter. "Why the hell didn't you get a photo of it?"

"Er . . . Because I was an emotional wreck?" I say sarcastically. "Not to mention I'm not some sort of kinky voyeur like you, sister dearest."

"We could have posted it all over the Internet," she sniggers, ignoring me. "Made billboards with warnings about him. Please avoid this man; he is completely riddled with STDs!"

"Stop it, Lou!" I can feel my upset returning. "He's always practiced safe sex, I'll have you know." I put my head in my hands. "God, now I'm picturing him having sex with other people," I wail.

"And you said I was the voyeur," Lou mutters under her breath. I shoot her a glare, and then hold my empty glass up pointedly. She gets the hint and slips off her bar stool. "I'll get us another round."

Kim throws an arm around me as Lou walks up to the bar, and pulls me tightly against her. "How are you, really?" When she releases me from the hug, she closely examines my face, her big blue eyes concerned. Kim has been my best friend since our first day of university and, with the exception of Lou, knows me better than anyone else. "I'm really sorry he fucked you over like this."

I drag a hand across my damp eyes, hoping the mascara I put on earlier was waterproof. "Should I have seen this coming?" I ask. "Did you think he was going to end it completely?"

It's Kim's turn to wince. "Honestly? I wasn't sure what way it was going to go."

"Is this the part where you now feel free to tell me you always hated him?" I query with trepidation. I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet. She laughs.

"Definitely not. I've always liked Declan. He's always had a bit of a wild edge, granted, but he's actually a nice enough guy, and a really good laugh. He's just never seemed the most . . . Reliable."

She's not wrong there. He had forgotten a good few important appointments in the past. He was late a lot. In fact, even on the aforementioned holiday we took to Ibiza, we nearly missed our flight as he over-slept. And then managed to temporarily mislay his passport before the flight home. The only thing he seemed to prioritise, and be remotely organised about, was his music. It was as if he didn't really have the space left in his brain to be practical with anything else.

Lou returns to the table with a massive jug of cocktail. "Sex on The Beach so you can still have some sex in your life," she announces, apparently so the whole bar can overhear.

"Can you wheesht?" I hiss, as I pick up the jug and slosh some into my glass. "Anyway, don't forget I actually had sex just last night."

"Well yeah, but let's face it, thats not really gonna be one for the time capsule. We need to get you a new memory," Lou decides. "And you know the best way to get over a man?"

"Get under another!" Kim cheers. She holds her glass out so I can top up her drink. I mostly get the liquid into the receptacle without spilling too much. Don't be too hard on me though - we've been out for a good few hours at this stage. The fact I've not fallen off my bar stool yet is pretty impressive.

"Nah." I shake my head. "It's not happening. I don't want another guy in my life right now."

"It doesn't have to be anything serious," Kim urges. "Just a little bit of fun. An attempt to get Declan out of your system."

"I don't want to," I say stubbornly. "I'll just be single and miserable for a while."

"Oh well, at least you have goals," Lou says jokingly. She's on fire tonight - and her tongue is sharper, and her brain quicker than anyone I've ever met, even when she's having a bad day. I wish I'd inherited a bigger dose of that fierce wit. We may share the same shades of auburn hair and dark green eyes, but I do feel sometimes like I got short end of the stick when it comes to personality.

Maybe if I was more like Lou I could have kept Declan interested, I can't help but think. Maybe I'm just too boring for him.

I'd always wanted to be the perfect girlfriend. But, once again, it seems I've failed.

"Is there a course I could do?" I wonder out loud.

Kim looks bemused. "On what?"

"On how to be a better girlfriend. I feel like it might be something I need in my life." I shrug, taking a massive gulp of cocktail. I fear I'm close to saturation point now.

"I'm sure you can get courses on pretty much anything these days," Lou says thoughtfully, propping her chin on the palm of her hand. "But you don't need lessons on this. You just need the right boyfriend. Then it all just slips into place, and makes sense." Her smile is a little too smug for my liking. "Like me and Tam, for example."

I decide not to make further comment on this. A high volume, fighting/fucking, love/hate relationship is definitely not the solution for me. But each to their own, and all that!

Being out with the girls has definitely cheered me up a bit, and I'm feeling infinitely lighter as my Uber drives me west. However, then I make the fatal mistake of glancing again at the messages Declan had been sending me today.

And a new one has just popped up in my inbox, as if on cue.

Lou just messaged me - she said you're okay, but that I should give you some space. So I'll do that. I want you to be able to move on so it's probably fairer on you if I cut all ties for a bit. If you need me, you know where I am. Dec xxx

Yet again, I feel a bit bereft. I'm not sure why. I guess it's because . . . Well, while I wasn't replying, it felt like I had the power somehow? And now he's snatched that power right back by contacting me to tell me that . . . he will stop contacting me?

Without even having the decency of giving me a chance to make a counter-move first?

No no no, this was not how it was supposed to go!

They say all is fair in love and war - but in this case it definitely doesn't seem fair at all.

And, crap, despite everything I just miss Declan so bloody much . . .

Mind games, eh? Why are some folk so damn good at those???

Hopefully you enjoyed coming on a night out with the girls, and you're enjoying the story.

If you were Abby, would you reply to Declan's last message?