As I walk back towards the reception a few minutes later, feeling flustered and antsy, I realise the wedding must be nearing an end. Mainly because I can hear the opening notes of "The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond."

It's a time-old tradition that most Scottish weddings end with this song. Everyone links hands in a massive circle on the dancefloor and sings along, and then they all start running towards each other and back, until I get the fear someone is going to stomp on my foot, and ultimately abandon the dancefloor.

It's more fun than it sounds. Honest.

I slip into the circle that's already forming, between Ric and Katie, linking hands with them both. "You alright?" Ric whispers in my ear, and my head bounces up and down like a nodding dog. My heart is racing.

It was Carrie who'd been behind me outside the loos. Carrie, who had heard the revelation that Ric wasn't a real date.

She'd laughed, not meanly, as I'd reluctantly turned to face her.

"There's absolutely no way that was a fake date," she'd said, shaking her head in disbelief. I assumed she was mocking me. It was Carrie, after all.

"You clearly have no idea the lengths someone will go to in order to save face," I snapped, moving to walk away from her. I don't think I even cared if she told Declan the truth at this point.

"That's not what I meant, Abby." She touched my arm to stop me. "I mean - have you seen the way that guy looks at you?" She sighed. "I would have given anything for Declan to look at me with even a fraction of that adoration. Not anymore, obviously," she added under her breath. I could see her eyes brimming with tears. For once, she wasn't wearing her 'Carrie mask'. For once, she seemed like a real person, with vulnerabilities and - y'know - feelings. And I actually found myself feeling bad for her.

"He doesn't deserve you," I said quietly. I might not have been Carrie's biggest fan, but after the way he'd treated her tonight, I knew for sure she was too good for him. "He's just dicking you about, the same way he did me."

"More Dicklan than Declan," she muttered darkly, and we both giggled. "I'm sorry, Abby," she added suddenly. "I know I've been a bit of a dick myself in all of this. And not just because of the Declan thing."

"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance.

"Sweet of you to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." She laughed again. "I know you all dislike me in the office, and I really can't blame you. I was just so insecure and so determined to prove myself that I stepped on too many toes, especially yours." She shrugged apologetically. "Saving face comes in many different forms, and I've been pretty much intimidated by you from the outset because you just seem so together."

Isn't it weird how people can have a completely different impression of you from the one you hold of yourself?

I found myself softening towards her considerably. And not just because of the unexpected but not unwelcome compliment. "You just need to chill a bit, Carrie. You do a good job, but you need to realise not everyone is out to get you."

She sighed. "I know, I know. I'll try harder, I promise. And I'm sorry I went out with Declan too. I was just so flattered by his attention, and since you didn't like me anyway, I felt a bit smug about it, like at least I was beating you in something. . . But I thought the two of you were completely broken up months ago. I only found out tonight that he'd led you to believe you were on a break. I feel like shit about that." She winced. "Talk about a girl code violation."

"It's okay." And it was. I'd always been more annoyed with Declan about the whole situation than with Carrie.

"It's not okay, though," she insisted. "You were nice to me tonight when you didn't have to be, when Declan was making me look like an idiot, and it would have been so easy for you to just let that happen. So, thank you." She patted me on the shoulder, a genuine smile lighting up her face. "And take my word for it when I say I'm absolutely certain that gorgeous flatmate of yours wants to be way more than just a fake date. He clearly worships the ground you walk on, and you need to lock that shit down."

"O you take the high road, and I'll take the low road . . ."

Carrie's parting words are still ringing in my ears now as I sway back and forth to the song, Ric's hand warm in mine. I know we need to address what's going on. And I'm not sure I can wait any longer.

"And I'll be in Scotland before you. . ."

"Ric?" I hiss at him before I lose my nerve. "What's happening here?" I have to know.

He laughs, misunderstanding me. "'The Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond', of course." He jokingly narrows those dark eyes at me. "You have been to a Scottish wedding before, right?"

"But me and my true love will never meet again . . ."

"I'm talking about us," I say impatiently, leaning into him.

There's the briefest of pauses before I feel his body stiffen. And not in the good way. "What do you mean?" His voice is tense.

"On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond..."

This isn't a good sign. I pull back, look into his eyes. Summon my courage. "Is this still all for show? Or is something actually going to happen here?"

I feel the wince before I see it. "Abby, I just . . ." he says softly, eventually. "Can't we get through tonight, and then maybe . . ."

"That sounds like a fob-off if ever I've heard one." My laugh is bitter. I continue to keep up the outward act, though, my smile as bright as it is brittle. "Never mind! Just forget I asked." 

The pace of the song is picking up, and people are starting to launch themselves forward. This is the point when I usually make myself scarce anyway. "I'm going to get out of this before I get trampled," I say loudly, for the benefit of anyone around me who can hear. Wincing at the accidental double-meaning of my words.

 I slip carefully back out of the circle and walk around the dancefloor to our table, giving a wide berth to the drunken kilt-wearing best man who has went rogue and is attempting some sort of drunken Highland dance in the corner.

"Abby." Ric has followed me, which was the last thing I wanted. I shake my head, picking my bag up. "I just want to go," I say.

He nods grimly. "I'll try and flag us down a taxi."

I don't particularly want to share a cab with him. But I guess we're going to the same place, and despite everything, he was doing me a favour tonight. Maybe I should actually offer to pay him for his services after all?

"Okay." I numbly watch him walk away. The show is over folks, I want to announce. Cinderella has turned into a pumpkin, and Prince Charming was a far better actor than we ever gave him credit for.

When I reach the hotel door, I see Ric has been successful in his mission. He's standing by an open taxi door on the street, waving me over. I reluctantly make my way towards him.

"Abs!" And now fucking Dicklan is running towards me. Can someone just put me out of my misery now? I glance across at Ric. "I'll just be a minute," I mouth. His expression dark, he gets into the cab.

"What do you want?" I ask Declan. I'm so done with this guy.

"I miss you," he says in a rush. "I just want to know if we can give it another go." Even his smile, the one I once thought so charming, seems sleazy now. The idea of taking him back is like sliding down the board in Snakes & Ladders. I've completely outgrown this man.

I think back to the night I met him at O'Neills, full of my ridiculously high expectations. Wanting nothing more than for him to admit he missed me. Not realising my own self-worth.

My brain searches through its files. Finds one entitled empoweringspeech.doc and opens it.

"No, we can't," I say bluntly. "I don't want to be with you. I didn't even like you that much by the end. I was so unhappy with you, and I didn't even realise it until recently. Whether you meant to or not, you made me feel lacking, you ground my confidence down, and then you couldn't even leave me alone after you broke up with me." I shake my head. "Honestly, Declan, I wish you all the best in life, but I genuinely never want to see or hear from you again."

I metaphorically drop the mic, close the file . . . And then I literally walk away and get into the cab. I don't even look back.

I sit as far away from Ric as possible, practically procreating with the door in order to create as much physical space as I can. Of course, the energy throbbing between us is so thick that I'm amazed the taxi driver isn't choking on it. We don't speak to each other during the thankfully short journey, and Ric only talks to tell the driver where to stop.

And then we're alone, in the hall of the flat. Where I first met him all those months ago. I would never have had imagined the events that would have transpired between us back then. Could never have anticipated Ric was actually going to be the one who would capture, then crush, my heart.

But he's made his feelings clear, and I need to draw a line under it now. So I walk towards my bedroom door without saying another word.

But I pause as I suddenly access another file in my brain. It's called empoweringspeechpart2.doc. How very original.

Let's see what's in there though. Maybe it's worth sharing?

"I know I can be an idiot," I say. "I let Declan fool me into thinking he actually loved me, deluded myself into believing we were just on a break. I've been in several relationships which ended up being pretty shit. And a lot of the time, I've found myself thinking maybe it would be easier just to be on my own. I don't actually need a relationship to be happy, and I know that."

I feel myself start to tremble, so I place my palms against my door to steady me before I continue. "But when I meet someone I think I might actually like, despite being fucking scared of how it might potentially end, I still want to actually try. To see if it can be something. Because I don't want to miss out on a connection that could be really special." I suck in a deep shaky breath.

"My point is, Ric? Protect your heart all you want. But if you spend all your time thinking any potential relationship isn't going to work before it's even started, then you'll be spending your life alone, whether you want to or not. Because you'll never be in one."

My fingers grasp the handle of my door, and I push it open. I take one last glance around and see Ric standing just a few feet away in the shadows. I can't tell what he's thinking. And maybe I don't want to know. Regardless, I'm not going to try to persuade him any further that he wants to be with me. I'm done.

"Something to think about," I add. And then I close the door on him, and whatever we could have had . . .

Another chapter with  a lot going on. I'm so glad Abby is finally realising her worth and sticking up for herself though!

Just a few more chapters to go...