I have a minor headache as I have been headbanging violently whilst listening to Graveyard Shift. I'm sorry but Motionless In White is my shit rn. Anywhore, enjoy :)

"Are you sure you gonna be Ok?" Patty asks, flitting around the room.

I try not to roll my eyes. I love Patty but he worries too much. "Yes, I'm fine. You should go. I'm sure you have lots to do and Ben will be wondering where you are."

"Like he'll care." Patty mutters. I frown. "What do you mean? What's wrong?" He sighs and takes a seat next to me.

"He hasn't really spoken to me for the past couple of weeks. He says he's just tired and a bit stressed 'cause of the band and everything but I don't think he is."

"What do you think?"

"Honestly? I think he doesn't feel the same way anymore." Patty says. I don't know what to say. "You don't have to say anything. I don't want you to say anything."

Wow, he's a mind reader. I was not aware of that. "I'm not a mind reader, you're just speaking out loud genius."

"Well it's a good thing I'm not thinking about that one time Geoff and I experimented and used han-"

"Ew gross I do not need to know my best friends sex life thank you." Patty squeals, slapping my arm. I just smile and laugh, sticking my tongue out between my teeth.

"Ok fine. I guess you don't need all the details. You just need to know that my ass wasn't the only thing hurting." I wink at him, making him squirm.

"Shut up or I'm leaving." He announces. Patty goes to stand up but I grab his shirt and pull him back. "Nuh uh, there's more to this story. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on." He mutters, cracking his knuckles. "You're lying." I say. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are. When you lie you bite your lip and crack your knucles."

"You're very observant."

"Patty we've been friends for over ten years, of course I'm observant." The blonde groans and sticks his tongue out. "So tell me the truth."

"Ok, ok." Patty tucks his legs underneath him and leans back against a couple of cushions. "I feel like our relationship has changed. When we were younger it was great and so amazing and I loved him so much. I still love him but not as much and I can tell the feeling's mutual. Everytime we're with anyone else he's so happy and energetic and then we're alone he's either leaving to go see other people or he just ignores me. I changed for him, Awsten. I fucking tried to learn how to play guitar, I wrote songs with him, I changed my look and how I acted and who I hung out with for him. I changed everything about me for him. I just...I gave him everything and he gave me nothing." Tears fill his vacant eyes.

My eye twitches. "I...I didn't know Patty why didn't you tell me? I'm here for you. You're going through this alone and you shouldn't and as of now, you won't. I'll help you through."

Patty reaches out and grabs my shoulders to hug me, causing the slight ache in my head to increase. I try to disguise my dizziness and pain by gripping him tightly.

"Ok I'm tired and...uh need to rest. You should go talk to Otto and maybe stay with him tonight if you don't want to go home ok nice seeing you again, bye." I ramble, standing up and trying to unsuccessfully get him to leave.

"But you said you were here for me. Do you not care?" His blue eyes fill up once more with tears. They remind me of Geoff's whenever he was upset. Big blue eyes. "I...I'm fine. Just worn out from earlier." I say, thinking back to the scene in the street.

Patty had helped me stay upright while I cried through the memory. Luckily I have chairs to support me this time. I don't want him to see me like that again.

"You look spaced, do you need to sit down?"

"I need you to leave!" I half shouted. Darkness smothers me, suffocating me. "Awsten?" His voice is quiet and far away.

I feel something wet drip onto my face. "Don't cry." I whisper. "You're scaring me Awsten what's going on?" Patty asks through his tears.

"I don't know."

Will there ever be a day when it doesn't rain? I thought. The dull weather outside started to dampen my mood. I turned away from the window and sighed. The bed looked so comfy, I assumed Geoff made it earlier. What's the point in it staying like that? It would just get messed up later.

Letting my brain decide what to do, it chose to walk me over to the bed and flop face down onto it. Perfect. Warm and comfy. I rolled onto my side and buried my face in the pillows.

After a long day of sorting out shit for the wedding and taking a million phone calls I just wanted to sleep. I was alone in the room, anything could happen.

"Hey Aws I wond...oh." I heard the door open and footsteps across the laminate floor. The mattress dipped and arms encircled me from behind. Geoff carefully pushed one of his legs through mine and rested his head on my back.

Warm and safe, sleep came easily to me. I could fall asleep anywhere if Geoff was with me. He made me feel safe, like nothing could hurt me. He was also really cuddly when he was tired too, like a blue eyed teddy bear.

"It's half five and I was about to start on dinner but if you're tired I'll stay with you until you fall asleep if you want." Geoff murmered against my neck.

Nothing needed to be said, he was just perfect and I was the luckiest man alive.

-

I awoke to a pleasant riff coming from the corner of the room. Bleary eyed I turned to find Geoff strumming quietly on our shared acoustic.

He noticed me and quickly stopped. "Oops sorry, did I wake you up?" Geoff apologised.

"No it's fine, it sounds nice. What is it?" I asked sitting up. "It's just something I've been working on. A little song I wrote for you whenever you feel down." He blushed and looked at his hands. He's so adorable.

"I wanna hear it." I said. "Really?" Geoff sounded surprised. "Yeah, you woke me up. I wanna hear what you interrupted my beauty sleep for." I laughed. "You're already beautiful but ok." He sat up straighter and closed his eyes.

"Dear Awsten,
Hold your head up high
There's a world outside that's passing by
Dear Awsten,
Never lose yourself
Remember that you're like nobody else

Life throws you into the unknown
And you feel like you're out there all alone

But these are words that you should always have the chance to hear
There will be love,
There will be pain,
There will be hope,
There will be fear

And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
For you.

Dear Awsten,
Don't worry about those stupid turds
If they try to bring you down
It's 'cause they're scared and insecure
Dear Awsten,
Don't change yourself for anyone
Even if they promise you the stars and take you by the hand

Life throws you into the unknown
And you feel like you're out there all alone

But these are words that you should always have the chance to hear
There will be love,
There will be pain,
There will be hope,
There will be fear

And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
For you.

Dear Awsten,
I was just like you
And just like me you're gonna make it through

Well there are words that you should always have the chance to hear
There will be love,
There will be pain,
There will be hope,
There will be fear,

And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
And after all all I will be right here
For you."

"Geoff I...I..." Unable to say anything I got off the bed, removed the guitar and kissed him. It wasn't just a kiss, it was so much more. It was unspoken words. It was a kiss that conveyed meaning.

"I love you." Was all I could manage but it was all he needed. "I love you too. Forever and always?"

"Forever and always."

"Through it all I will be right here for you." I whisper. "So where are you?"

"Aws? You with me?" I nod and Patty relaxes slightly. "You're not ok are you?"

"No. I haven't been ok for a very long time."

So three chapters left oooohhhhhh.

Sorry I'm buzzed coz we had an assessment in English like three months ago and we had to write a poem then type it out and send it in for a national poetry competition thing. Basically I got a envelope back on Friday and...MY POEM WAS ONE OF THE ONES THAT WON!!!!!! There were like 150 that won and most people in my class won coz we're like top set and shit but the point is, if my Mum signs the letter for copyright and shit then it's gonna get published.

I posted it in my random book of randomness if y'all wanna read it.

Sorry just wanted to get it out coz I'm been buzzing all dayyyyyyy. The song I used is by Halestorm I just obviously changed some of the lyrics, it's at the top if you want to hear the tune/original. I love Halestorm so much and Dear Daughter has helped me through a lot. Have a good day/afternoon/evening xox