CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN:

UNREQUITED LOVE

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      Blaise Zabini stared across the couch at Theodore Nott. On the outside, Theo looked normal. He was digesting the information Draco was telling him with no emotion on his face. Even his eyes were vacant as Draco relayed the incident that had happened in Umbridge's office just hours before. While Draco thought Theo was listening to every word coming out of his mouth, Blaise Zabini knew better. Because Blaise Zabini knew Theodore Nott.

      Theodore Nott was freaking out.

      It wasn't even the fact that Nova was dating Ronald Weasley, which was just about the only thing Theo had reacted to before he'd gone frozen, but rather that she'd been sneaking around behind everyone's backs for months and going to secret meetings led by Harry Potter. Only, she hadn't been going behind everyone's back. Because Blaise, who was staring at his somewhat-boyfriend with wide eyes, had known exactly what Nova was doing. And Blaise was terrified that Theo was coming to that conclusion on his own.

      Malfoy was blathering on and on about Nova's involvement in the D.A., but Blaise could see right through Malfoy's tyrant. He was hurt. There was a small cut in his knuckles, as if he had punched something, and Blaise would be willing to bet that if he found Weasley, there would be some damage done to his face. This was a boy who had been in love with Nova since the day he realized what love was. He had been trying to get over her, and maybe was finally starting to accept that she was right and was too cold and callous to love anyone. And then to find out she was in a relationship with Ron Weasley? Blaise couldn't even imagine what was going through Malfoy's head.

      But that wasn't what mattered now.

      What mattered was that Malfoy was just nervously talking to distract the three boys from the fact that Nova had been gone for hours.

      If Nova had been gone before this information about her being involved with Potter and his band of idiots, they might have been reacting differently to her absence. Since that wasn't the case, Theo's eyes continued to glance back and forth between the door to the common room and Malfoy, taking in information without really understanding it. Malfoy was nervously sputtering random nonsense that Blaise was fairly certain wasn't true, but his fingers were tapping his knee anxiously as he eyed the door to the common room. Blaise was the only one of the three not staring at the door. His eyes were locked on Theo, willing him to not be scared. Nova was fine. She had to be.

      "Malfoy," Theo said after a few moments of listening to Malfoy's tale about how Ron Weasley probably slipped a long-lasting love potion into something Nova had eaten and that's why she was acting this way. "Stop talking. I don't care what Nova's done. She's still my sister." But Blaise knew the words weren't true. He'd abandoned Nova once before, and Blaise was torn between glaring at his boyfriend and begging on his hands and knees for Theo to do something instead of just sitting there like a statue. "You're sure you've got no clue where they went after they attacked you?"

      Malfoy deflated in his seat. "No." Blaise could tell this fact bothered Malfoy greatly. Deep down, he still cared about Nova. He might have even still been in love with her. It was the stupid sting of first love that Blaise knew all too well. Malfoy was consumed with it.

      Draco wasn't the only one.

      Blaise couldn't keep his eyes off Theo as he bounced nervously in his seat. While Theo was frozen in place like a statue, Blaise couldn't stop jumping around and moving. He was worried. He wished Nova would just walk through the door so they could see that she was okay. Safe. Any emotional hurdles, they would handle. But Blaise just wanted to know his friend was still breathing.

      "Let's just hope she's safe," Blaise mentioned out loud, clasping his hands together so they wouldn't shake.

      "She's with Saint Potter," Malfoy muttered bitterly. "He, of course, wouldn't let anything happen."

      Theo glared at Malfoy, snapping out of whatever reverie he was in with a fire. "Malfoy, I'm sick of listening to you. Go somewhere else. I'll let you know if Nova's alright." Malfoy gaped at Theo, eyes wide like he couldn't believe Theo was speaking to him in that way. "I mean it. Leave. You're getting on my nerves.The rest of us here want Nova safe, and right now I don't give a shit about if she's with Weasley or not, and I will continue to not give a shit until I know she's alright. Can you say the same?" Malfoy sputtered for a bit before he sighed and turned to Blaise.

      "You know I just want her to be okay too, right?" Malfoy asked him.

      "I know, Draco. I'll let you know if we see or hear from her. Go to bed, alright, mate?" Blaise clapped Malfoy on the shoulder and Draco nodded numbly, deciding he should just listen to Theo's advice. Blaise watched him walk away and  up the stairs leading to the dormitory. Once Blaise was sure he was gone, he sighed. "You know he cares about Nova's safety, Theo. You didn't need to snap at him.

      "You knew." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, and Theo was looking at Blaise like he had just ripped the rug from underneath his feet. Blaise felt his heart drop to his stomach. He didn't know what had given him away, but he didn't have to ask what Theo meant. "You knew."

      "I did," Blaise replied softly, nodding his head. "It was Nova's secret. She didn't want me to tell anyone. I was being a good friend."

      "A good friend." Theo laughed without humor. "What about being a good... boyfriend? What about not having me find out from Draco Malfoy of all people that Nova is dating a Weasley and friends with Potter. What about your loyalty to me?" Theo was growing angrier and angrier, his cheeks starting to get that little tint of red Blaise knew he got whenever he was working himself up.

      "Don't you dare question my loyalty to you, Theo," Blaise deadpanned, his voice stoic and cold. "Don't you dare, when I'm the only one in this relationship ready to shout to the rest of the school that I'm bloody in love with you. I'm ready to stand up in front of all our friends and tell them what I'm feeling."

      "So this is some sick type of punishment then? For me not being ready to tell people about us? You think it was smart to use Nova as your bargaining chip?"

      Blaise stared at Theo, his eyes wide and shining with tears he'd never let fall. He'd never give Theo the satisfaction. "If that's what you really think, then obviously this isn't going to work."

      "Obviously not," Theo snapped, then visibly flinched. But it was too late. The words had already been flung out into the open, flung into the tiny insecure valve of Blaise's heart that always whispered that this was coming. That Theo didn't really love him, that he was just with Blaise because he felt bad that Blaise felt this way about him. "Blaise," Theo started, but he never got to finish. Because at that moment, the door to the common room swung open and Nova Nott walked through, looking nothing short of absolutely wrecked. There were scratches and bruises littering her skin, her face full of dried blood and the kind of exhaustion that came with fighting in a real battle. "Nova," Theo whispered, rushing to her side and pulling her into his arms. "What the hell happened?"

       "We ended up in the Department of Mysteries," Nova mentioned, but her tone suggested there was more to the story. "Death Eaters were there. We fought. The Dark Lord and Dumbledore showed up and fought. Dumbledore sent us back here."

      "That's the shittiest explanation I've ever heard," Theo said bluntly, shaking his head. "Malfoy's been going on for hours about what happened in Umbridge's office." Nova tensed, like she had been waiting for this to come up. "Nova... a Weasley? What are you thinking? And why are you hanging out with Potter? Do you know what Father would do if he found out?"

      "He's already found out," Nova snapped, gesturing to the blood and bruises on her face. "Where do you think these are from?" Blaise winced. He knew the wrath of Edgar Nott came in many forms, but he had only recently known about the physical side of Edgar's anger. "Father, Aunt Bellatrix, all of the other bloody Death Eaters parading around pretending their cause is right."

      "Father knows?" Theo looked like he had seen a ghost. Whether that was because of Nova's words subtly directed towards him or because he knew what his father would do. "Nova, you should have been more careful!"

      "I shouldn't have to be careful!" Nova snapped, throwing her hands in the air. Blaise almost stepped in to intervene, obviously seeing that Nova didn't want to deal with something like this right at the moment, but kept his mouth shut. He was already on thin ice with Nova's twin. "I should be able to be friends with whoever I want. To love whoever I want." Nova shrugged out of Theo's grip and moved to sit on the couch, her body curling up as if it hadn't sat in years. She looked smaller than she ever had, curled up on the couch like she wanted to burst into tears.

      "Love?" Theo snorted. He moved to sit down beside his sister, leaving Blaise standing above the two siblings and looking down at the scene before him. "C'mon, Nova. An infatuation, maybe, but love?"

      Blaise could tell in that moment that it was the wrong thing to say. Nova stared at Theo with a mix of anger, betrayal, and heartbreak in her eyes. "Who are you to tell me who I do or don't love?" She gestured to her face, to the injuries she bore. "This is what loving Father has done to me. This is what loving Malfoy would have done to me. It would have broken my heart and my spirit time and time again. Loving a Weasley has shown me hope, kindness, and compassion." Nova had tears in her eyes when she stared at her brother. "Arthur Weasley would never hit one of his children for simply disagreeing with something he said. Ron Weasley would never ask me to chose between being a Death Eater and being with him because there's no choice! All I've ever known was hate and evil and darkness. Why are you not happy that I've found someone who truly loves me for me?"

      "It's nonsensical, Nova. Please, just rethink this decision!"

      "Don't you get it?!" Nova sobbed, the wall she had been building since the second she landed in Dumbledore's office finally cracking and letting through emotion she'd never let anyone in Slytherin see in a long while. Theo gaped at her as she leaped up from the couch and glowered down at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "There's nothing to rethink! I'm done being selfless! It's time for me, for once in my life, to choose what I want! I never belonged with Father or even you. I've always been a misfit and you know it! I've never fit in with the Death Eater stereotype. And now you're asking me to choose to go back to a world where all I knew was horrible, terrible things? I won't do that Theo," she cried, throwing her hand into her hands and letting a sob escape. "I won't do it! Not even for you."

      Blaise watched her rush away, run back out of the Slytherin common room because she felt she had no place in the dormitory any longer. And when she was fully gone, Blaise turned to look at Theo with pure disappointment.

      "For once in your life, just let the prejudices go. Can't you see how much happier she is with him?" Theo opened his mouth to reply, but Blaise interrupted. "Tell me something. Have you ever seen her smile as much in her entire life as she has in these past couple of months?"

      Blaise walked away, leaving his boyfriend sitting in the middle of the common room, eyes locked on a dying fire.

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       Nova's eyes were hard to open the next morning. It was most likely due to the fact that she had spent the night sobbing (after casting a silencing charm, of course. She didn't need Parkinson or Bulstrode hearing her cry), but she still loathed herself when she looked in the mirror and saw that the red hadn't completely gone away. She set to work on making it look like she hadn't spent the entire night crying, dabbing water underneath her eyes and muttering a spell to tame her tangled hair into a smooth ponytail. There wasn't much she could do about the cuts and bruises on her skin except visit the hospital wing, and she didn't fancy seeing Madam Pomfrey that early in the morning. It was too late to Episkey the cuts, since they had already dried and were in the beginning stage of scabbing over, so Nova ignored them and changed into her uniform.

      Only Malfoy was in the common room when Nova finally made her way down, sitting on the couch in the most dramatic looking fashion Nova had ever seen. If she knew the situation weren't so serious, she might have laughed. Now, however, she just felt like crying.

      "You're up," he said softly when she walked by him. She stopped, shocked. She had fully been expecting him to ignore him as she made her way to her first lesson, opting out of getting breakfast that morning in favor of sleeping in. But Draco was looking at her with that kicked puppy expression on his face, the kind that Nova had put there. Time and time again. 

       He surveyed her face and sighed, gesturing for her to sit across from her. "How are you feeling?" he asked tentatively, like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask that or not. She shrugged, taking the seat he gestured to and clasping her hands together to give herself something to do. "I heard about the Department of Mysteries. It's everywhere this morning." Nova just nodded. She knew there were probably articles in every wizarding world magazine about the event, and she knew her name was plastered with the likes of Harry. For once, she didn't shy away from it. She was tired to keeping up appearances. She was just tired. 

      "I'm fine." Fine. Fine. Fine. She hated the word.

      Draco nodded. "Any of those from my father?" he whispered, scared to know the answer. She shook her head immediately. He didn't need the extra guilt on his conscience. "Good, good," he mumbled. "I... I'm not really sure what to say, Nova. I won't apologize for punching Weasley in the face."

      "I wasn't expecting you to," Nova responded. "But Draco," she paused when he flinched at his name, "you have to know that being with him isn't about you at all. I feel awful about hurting you. Me. The Slytherin Ice Princess. I feel so terrible about the pain I'm putting you through and you don't deserve it." He looked shocked at her words. If she were honest with herself, she was shocked at them as well. "But, I thought I was... broken or something. I thought I couldn't fall in love. And then it suddenly happens and it's overwhelming and I got lost in the feeling of it."

      "And then I find out you've been hanging out with Potter!" Draco raised his voice, but Nova didn't flinch. "You've gone against everything our fathers stand for and I know what the consequences of that will be. You'll be hurt, as you are every time, and I'll have to stand by and do nothing. Do you know how awful it is for me to do that?" He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "Not to mention, I absolutely loathe Potter, and you knew that!"

      "Potter isn't the problem here, Draco. Please don't pretend he is. The only thing involving Potter in this situation is his best mate."

      "Right." He whispered, sinking back down into his chair. "Right." He repeated before  snorted maniacally. Nova didn't bother responding. She simply sent him a glare that made him want to wither. "Nova, do you know how it felt to be so in love with you and want nothing more than for you to love me back and then hear you're in love with someone else? It's torturous."

      "I don't know what you're going through," she said softly, "but I know someone who does."

      He looked confused for a moment before he seemed to understand what she was saying. He sighed, looking absolutely defeated and nothing like the fiery Draco Malfoy she knew him to be. She hated that she had done that to him, even if she hadn't meant to. She hated that the defeated look was in his eyes and that she had put it there. He looked hopeless, like there was nothing left in the world to look forward to.

      It was the same look Parkinson gave Draco when she thought he wasn't looking.

      "Pansy is head over heels for you, Draco," Nova said gently. "And all you're doing is leading her on. The same thing I did to you. And it sucks. It's awful. But don't do what I did, okay? If you don't want to be with her, if you aren't ready, don't." Nova hesitantly reached out to lay her hand on his arm, but he moved before she could. She tried not to be offended and hurt, but it was hard. "You're upset about Ron because you haven't even tried being in love with someone else. You think you're hung up on me, but I think you're just wanting so badly to be with me because it's expected and it's easy. You need something better than that, Draco. Pansy does too."

      When he didn't respond, she stood from her seat and started to walk out of the common room. It was only when she was halfway out of the portrait when she heard his response. "You're wrong, Nott. I'm in love with you because you're you. And for some mad reason, you are all I want. I guess that's just something I'll have to deal with."

      Nova paused her steps for just a moment. A moment was all it took. Being with Malfoy would be easy. Maybe her father would forgive her if she went back to the person she was expected to be. If she and Malfoy worked out, she could see Narcissa helping her with the wedding plans she had talked about nearly all of Nova's life. Malfoy would be a good husband. Nova knew that. And she truly did believe he loved her. 

      But no matter what she did, she couldn't love him back.

      "I'm sorry," she whispered before she was out of the common room.

      She wasn't sure if he believed her, but she hoped he did. It was the most true thing she had ever said.

      Blaise was standing outside the common room, leaning against a wall and looking like he was waiting for her. He gave her a once-over, making sure she looked okay before he nodded, seemingly pacified. "We're not going to class today."

      "Blaise, I have to go to class," Nova replied, rolling her eyes. Even though the idea sounded tempting, very tempting, she knew she couldn't. "Skip class all you want but don't drag me into it."

      "I already talked it over with Dumbledore and he said it was a good idea." Nova raised her eyebrows and Blaise smirked. "Yeah, that's right. I talked it over with Dumbledore. That's how much I care, so next time you go on a rant about no one being there for you, I'm going to be highly offended and standoffish." He held out his arm. She simply stared at it. "Nova, you were almost killed last night. No one is expecting you to go to class. Plus, I've found two friends of yours that want to have a word. They're meeting us at the Three Broomsticks."

      Nova's head tried to calculate. "Is Ron out of the hospital wing?" she asked, assuming he was one of the friends Blaise was talking about. Blaise didn't answer, just dragged her down a corridor. "Are you going to answer my question or just drag me around like a doll?" Blaise still didn't respond, pulling her up three flights of stairs and into a corridor that held a statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor. "Blaise, what are we doing here?"

      "Will you stop talking and trust me?" He asked, rolling his eyes and dropping his hand from her grip. "Merlin. Alright, Dissendium." Nova watched the statue in silence for a moment, expecting nothing to happen. Then, she heard a soft rumbling and saw the back of the statue was slowly opening into a black tunnel Nova couldn't see the end of. "It takes about an hour to get to Honeydukes, but you walk fast."

      "Where the hell did you find out about this?" Nova cried, staring at the tunnel with apprehension. Blaise muttered "lumos" under his breath and held his wand into the tunnel, revealing a short slide that twisted into the rest of the tunnel. "Blaise, we can't just leave school grounds!"

      "This is somewhat important, Nova, believe me. I'm hoping you'll really appreciate the point of this when we get there." Nova eyed the slide once more, and the unsure look on her face made Blaise sigh. "Alright, guess I'm going first then." He swung his leg inside and then his other, sitting on the outside of the statue. "Merlin, I'm going to kill them." Before Nova could ask who he was going to kill, he slid down, landing at the bottom of the tunnel with a thud. "Don't you dare think about turning around, Nova Marie Nott!"

      "I hate this," she said, but found herself swinging her own legs up and over the statue and gracefully sliding down. Blaise offered his hand when she reached the end of the short slide and helped her up, bringing her to her feet and giving her a few seconds to brush off the bottom of her skirt before he was leading the way, taking the light from his wand with him. Nova hurried to match his pace, keeping up with his long strides. "Are you going to tell me who we're meeting now?"

      "Nova, do you trust me?"

      "Right now my trust is wearing thin."

      Blaise sighed and continued marching forward. Nova decided asking him to disclose who they were meeting was pointless, so she simply crossed her arms over her chest and followed behind him, not fancying getting lost if the tunnel decided to break into separate parts. They didn't talk for the first twenty minutes of their walk, until Blaise looked down at her. "Theo and I got into a fight yesterday. He was mad that I knew about what was going on with you and didn't tell him about it."

      "I didn't mean to put you in the middle. I'm sorry," she said softly. Another thing to feel guilty about.

      "What're you sorry for?" He asked, trying to sound playful but not quite pulling it off. "I'm your friend, Nova. You needed to tell someone about this stuff or you'd have exploded. It's hard keeping secrets when they're eating you up. Theo doesn't understand that, but I do." Blaise sighed. "You were there for me when I came to you about Theo, and I'm never going to forget that. I really appreciated it, Nova."

      Nova felt oddly touched. "Yeah, but just because I let you vent, don't feel like you owe me. It was just me being a good friend."

      Blaise smiled. "And this is just me being a good friend. It'll all be worth it Nova, I promise."

      Nova had a hard time believing that. So much had happened and so much had changed. She wasn't sure what was going to happen now. She was homeless, her brother probably hated her, and her boyfriend was in the hospital wing. That wasn't something that Nova could just ignore or even recover from. She was silent for the rest of the walk to Honeydukes, following behind Blaise.

      When they arrived about thirty minutes later and the tunnel came to an end, Blaise pushed up on what looked like wood and Nova watched as light filled the tunnel. There was a small ladder Blaise used to climb up into Honeydukes, and he offered Nova his hand again as she followed suit, making sure not to trip on the ladder on her way up. Once they were standing in the cellar of Honeydukes, Blaise placed the piece of wood back and gestured towards the stairs. The two of them crept up and escaped out the back door of the sweet shop before quietly starting the short walk to the Three Broomsticks.

      Blaise pushed open the door and held it open for Nova. Nova wasn't sure what she was expecting when she walked in, but it surely wasn't the two sitting at the table in the center, drinking butterbeer and chatting with Rosmerta. Their eyes fell on Nova when the door swung shut.

      "Well, if it isn't our Rogue Slytherin!"

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WE LITERALLY ONLY HAVE ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THEN AN EPILOGUE CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE IT OMG