CHAPTER SEVEN:

DIFFERENCES IN DEMEANOR

    ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪    

When Nova was seven, she had visited her mother's grave for the first time.

      Before that moment, her father had considered her too young to truly grasp where her mother had gone. She and Theo weren't allowed at the funeral, and when guests came by the house afterwards to offer their condolences, Nova still wasn't sure what had been going on. So by the time her seventh birthday rolled around, her father had decided it was a perfect moment for her to visit her mother for the first time since she had died.

      On October eighth every year since then, Nova and Theo would be allowed to visit her grave. Even as they began Hogwarts, their father would make sure Dumbledore had specific instructions that enabled the twins to use the Floo network to arrive back home, where they would stay for a few hours before returning to Hogwarts. 

      This year, October eighth managed to fall on a Sunday, the day after the secret meeting with Potter. Nova could feel Theo's eyes on her, on why her hands were suddenly clammy and her skin was hot. He supposed it was just nerves because of how she and their father had left things, but now that he was looking at her, he was worried it was something else.

      "Nova," Theo said gently as they sat in Dumbledore's office, waiting for the elder wizard to return. "You don't have to go."

      "Please," she responded, flicking a piece of hair out of her eyes, "as if father would let me miss today." Those few years of not being allowed to see their mother had turned a complete one-eighty. Now, if she dared try to miss, her father would scream and accuse until he got his way.

      Theo nodded, clasping his hands together tightly. Nova could see the skin stretch over his knuckles, turning them white. The door swung open behind them, and Nova saw Dumbledore give the both of them comforting smiles. 

      "Your father has contacted me. He's expecting you within the next few minutes. He requested Theodore Floo first. Said he has some things to discuss with him."

      Nova couldn't stop the frown from forming on her lips. She looked over at her brother and he was staring straight ahead, nodding at the words Dumbledore was saying. She watched as he stood from his chair and made his way to the grand fireplace in the room, accepting the Floo powder Dumbledore offered him.

      "Nott manor," he said in a clear voice, dropping the powder at his feet. Nova watched as the green flames engulfed him, clearing up only when he has disappeared and squelching down into just green sparks. Nova stood uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest.

      "Miss Nott," Dumbledore called out, his voice loud in the silent room. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

      "No, thank you." The words felt foreign on her tongue, but her father had always taught her to say thank you to people in higher power. And though she knew he didn't mean Dumbledore, since he often spoke ill of the elder wizard, Nova knew that Dumbledore was her superior. "I'm not hungry."

      Dumbledore shrugged, popping a candy into his mouth. "While Theodore is discussing matters with your father, I wouldn't mind discussing a few things with you."

      "With me, Headmaster?" She was sure she looked confused.

      "It has come to my attention that Theodore will be joining the followers of Lord Voldemort." Nova's eyes widened at the man's statement, and her head shot to him as if he had just called her name. He gave her a comforting look at the frightened expression on her face. "Don't be alarmed, Miss Nott. I won't be letting anyone know except for Professor Snape, who I've requested keep an eye on your brother."

      Nova was at a loss for words. "I...I would g-greatly appreciate that, sir."

      His blue eyes twinkled. "I assume you know that you will be expected to do the same. The time will come when you will have to chose, Miss Nott."

      He must have seen her lips quiver in terror. Must have seen the look of pure sadness that passed her face. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and looked deeply into her eyes. Nova felt like he could see her soul; he could see what made Nova Nott herself. 

      "Should you find yourself at a loss, I would like to assure you that you are always welcome to discuss your concerns with me. If that makes you uncomfortable, I would be more than happy to put you in contact with someone else. Perhaps R.L?" His eyes twinkled once more as Nova's mouth opened in surprise.

      "You know about the letter, Headmaster?"

      Dumbledore nodded. "I was the one that requested he write it." When she opened her mouth, he sent her a smile. "However, he would like to remain anonymous, for safety reasons." Her mouth closed, the question still unanswered. "I hope you understand."

      "Of course, sir." When he held out the cauldron full of Floo powder, she figured that her time to speak to the Headmaster was up. "I appreciate it. I'll consider it, Headmaster."

      "Please do. Enjoy your time today, Miss Nott."

      Nova made her way to the fireplace, where the green sparks had disappeared. Holding out her hand, she clearly called out "Nott manor" before throwing the Floo powder to the ground. She had long ago gotten used to the disoriented feeling of the transporting in the Floo Network, and calmly stepped out of the fireplace in her home.

      The Nott manor was obnoxiously grandeur. From her place in front of the fireplace, she could see the large foyer of her home. Two large staircases winded along the sides, split in the middle by a large threshold that led into the living area. On the second story, Nova could see her father and Theo, discussing something in hushed whispers and only looking down at her when they heard her shoes clicking against the marble floors.

      "Konstantinova," their father said, giving her a nod. "I was just finishing discussing private manners with Theodore. If you could wait in the kitchen, it would be most preferred."

      Sending her father a cold nod, she made her way to the kitchen, where Rinks was already halfway through pouring imported Superior Red wine that had been gifted by Lucius Malfoy the last time the two families had gotten together. Wordlessly, Rinks held the goblet out to Nova, who accepted the drink and took a sip. The sour taste reminded her of her life in the manor.

      "Miss Nott is satisfied?" Rinks asked softly, wincing as Nova opened her mouth to speak. 

      "Yes. You're free to serve Master Nott and Theodore."

      With that permission, Rinks quickly scurried out of the kitchen with two other goblets in her hands. While she was gone, Nova took another sip of the wine before draining the rest of it. She wasn't in the mood to sit and talk nonsense with her father and brother over wine.  Her mind was too focused on proper etiquette for being around hr father.

      "Konstantinova," he said, stepping into the kitchen with Theo in tow. "Are you ready?"

      She numbly nodded, holding out her arm. He grasped it underneath his elbow, grabbing Theo in the same way with the opposite arm before he Apparated. Nova's stomach flipped and flopped (reminding her of the first time she had done Side-Along Apparation, when she had vomited and had been yelled at by her father, which provoked her to get used to the feeling and squash down any pain and uncomfortable nausea for the rest of her life), but it was over in an instant as they met solid ground once more, Nova squeezing her father's arm to make sure she didn't fall over before letting him go completely. 

      Elizabeth Beatrice Nott.

      October 8th, 1959 - January 23rd, 1985.

      That was it. There was no "loving mother" or "wonderful wife" written on the black marble headstone. Just her mother's name, and the dates of the day she was born and the day her life ended. All of her life, everything she had done, how hard she had loved her children, was left in that tiny line in between the dates, left a memory in her family's heads.

      Neither Nott twin dared to say anything. This time was meant for silence, meant to reflect on their mother's life. Once Theo had tried to speak, and Father had gripped the back of his neck so tightly, there had been bruises. Nova wasn't stupid. She knew this time was for their father to grieve and not them. They had only known her for five years. He had been married to her since they were eighteen.

      Only once had she dared to cry. She had never asked, but Nova knew that was when her father had started to think less of her. Think her weak. He had simply held his chin up high and had muttered, "wipe your eyes, Konstantinova," with a tone that suggested there was little room to argue. Now, she stared blankly at the headstone, her mouth locked shut with an invisible key and her eyes dry.

      "Come," their father said after a few moments of silence, latching onto his children's arms once more. "Lucius is expecting us for dinner."

      Nova felt the feeling of Apparation once more, but this time she wasn't focused on it. She was instead focused on the cool demeanor she had to upkeep, when all she felt like was screaming out loud.

  ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪   

      "Konstantinova," Lucius Malfoy commented, addressing her for the first time in the fifty minutes they had been sitting at his dining table. "How is your schooling this term? Draco tells me much in his letters, but they are always lacking in information about you."

      Nova wished he would have remained unknowing of her presence. When they had arrived at Malfoy Manor, Narcissa had welcomed them politely before Lucius laughed boisterously and hugged her father and Theo close. The three were then led into the dining room, where a big feat had been lain out on the large mahogany table. 

      The men laughing at the table were content to ignore the two women sitting across from them, and Nova was perfectly fine with that. She wasn't in much of a mood to try and seem polite and dignified when talking to Lucius Malfoy, so she was all too happy to shove carrots into her mouth in what was probably a manner unladylike.

      However, after she had finished dinner and the five were simply sitting at the table, Lucius had decided to acknowledge the fact that she existed. And his subject matter was, naturally, something that made Nova want to squirm. Bringing up taboo topics was apparently a skill of the Malfoy man.

      "School is fine this term, Mister Malfoy. I've been busy studying for my O.W.L. examinations, so that might be a reason why Draco hasn't seen much of me." Nova's voice was sugary sweet, the complete opposite of how she was feeling inside. 

      He nodded, pleased. "Very well. I was hoping it was something along those lines and not because you two were growing apart. I do wish you two would have continued your relationship, but I understand wanting to focus on school. Perhaps when O.W.L. examinations are over."

      Nova smothered the urge to gag. "Perhaps," she repeated in a hollow voice, ignoring the look Theodore sent her way.

      "I can imagine it now, Edgar," Lucius plowed on, smiling widely in a way that screamed sinister. "A winter wedding for the two. Imagine the heirs both the Nott and Malfoy name would receive."

      Theo sent Nova an apologetic look when the two men weren't looking. He knew Nova was annoyed that they were basically laying out her future for her without a say in it. She simply pressed her lips tightly together.

      "A very respectable pairing, indeed," Narcissa agreed, smiling over at Nova. "You would look beautiful in the wedding gown I wore. And naturally, the reception would be tasteful. We'd plan everything perfectly."

      "I appreciate that, Mrs. Malfoy," Nova said through gritted teeth, but forced her lips to turn up in a smile. "However, I am only fifteen. If it does happen, I'm sure it wouldn't be a matter of concern for quite some time."

      "Oh, nonsense," her father chuckled, waving his hand to dismiss the idea. "You'll be married at eighteen, like both Lucius and Narcissa and myself and your mother."

      She kept her mouth shut. Arguing with her father would only result in a fight she did not want. Remaining silent, she gave her dutiful goodbyes to the Malfoy family as her father announced it was time for the twins to get back to Hogwarts. When she was outside of the stuffy house, she exhaled a large breath.

      "The worst is over," Theo whispered, reaching down and intertwining their fingers. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

      "Hopefully," Nova replied grimly. The feeling of knowing her brother was there calmed her, but only slightly. When her father reached out his arms, she knew the routine. After the pulling of her stomach, they were back at the Nott manor. Their father dropped their arms the second they were upright.

      "Dumbledore is expecting the two of you back," he announced, and he was suddenly holding the Floo powder in his hands. So that was it. He kept them for pretenses in front of Lucius Malfoy and then he was done with them, like they were tools that had served their purpose. "I'll see the two of you at Christmas."

      "Of course, Father," Theodore replied. He was the first one to use the Floo powder again, shouting "Dumbledore's office" and disappearing behind the green flames. 

      As Nova moved to grab a handful, her father's fingers suddenly grasped her wrist. She tried not to gasp out in surprise.

     "The way you behaved at the Malfoy Manor was unacceptable, Konstantinova," he said in a dangerously low tone. "You embarrassed the Nott name. You would be lucky to pair off with Draco Malfoy, and it would do you well to remember that."

      She let her head fall to the ground so her father wouldn't see the murderous rage that crossed over her face. "Yes, Father. I understand."

      "I expect you to compose a letter apologizing to the Malfoy's, and I expect it to be done immediately."

      "Yes, Father. I apologize."

      He released her then, and the freedom of her wrist did nothing to make her feel better. He said nothing else, just gave her a look before shoving the cauldron full of Floo powder into her hands, some of it falling to the floor in light dusts of green. When she looked up, he was gone.

      The powder in her fingers, Nova climbed into the fireplace. "Dumbledore's office," she said clearly, throwing the powder to the ground.

      Theo was waiting for her in Dumbledore's office when she arrived. He gave her a smile, but it faded when he saw the cold and stony look on her face. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk behind them, sucking on another lemon drop.

      "Ah, Miss Nott. So glad you could return to us safely. I'll write the both of you notes, should you encounter any prefects on the way back to your common room."

      "Thank you, sir," Nova said when Theo said nothing. Just another one of her father's passive defiance tactics that he had passed on to his son when in the presence of Albus Dumbledore. "That would be much appreciated."

      He quickly scribbled something down and handed a sheet of parchment to each of the twins. Once they left the office, Theo turned to look at her.

      "What did father do?" he asked, pinning her hard expression on their father. There really was no other possible culprit. "Why are you upset?"

      "Nothing, Theo. It's fine. I'm fine."

      "You aren't fine."

      She really wasn't. She hadn't been for a long time. Still, she held her head high and nodded towards her brother. "I am. Go on to the common room. I'm stopping by the kitchens. Lucius didn't offer any desserts."

      "Knowing you, you'll just ask if the elves could make you a butterbeer," he replied, rolling his eyes. "But alright. I'll believe you this time. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

      Nova turned the corridor and quietly made her way to the kitchens, avoiding Pansy on her patrols as she went. When she made it to the large portrait of fruit, she tickled the pear, rolling her eyes at the giggle it let out before it swung open. When she walked inside, she expected to just see the elves that worked there, but her eyes widened when she saw the familiar head of red hair.

      "Oi," one of them said, letting out a mischievous grin. The other popped his head out from behind the first one that spoke. "If it isn't our little rogue Slytherin."

      "Weasleys," she responded in way of greeting as she walked over to where they were sitting. There were potions surrounding them, ones that they tried to discreetly hide behind their body parts as she walked closer. "What are you doing?"

      "That is top secret," one of them said, wagging his eyebrows. "But we'll give you a hint if you can guess which one of us is which."

      "I'd rather not. One, I don't care much, and two, I don't feel like giving myself a headache," Nova replied, instead turning to one of the elves. "Get me something chocolate."

      It scurried off in a different direction, leaving Nova alone with the Weasley twins once more. Flinging herself down on a chair, Nova gently rested her head in her hands, rubbing her temples with her fingers. October eighth was the bane of her existence. If her mother was still alive, she knew things would be different. She was sure she'd look forward to October eighth; she and Theo would stop by Diagon Alley to get her the Florean's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream she'd always used to eat. Rinks would prepare a grand feast for them to celebrate Elizabeth's special day, and then they'd spend the rest of the night at a family.

      It hadn't been like that since Nova had been four and a half. 

      "I've never seen a Slytherin look so glum, have you Freddie?"

      "You know why, Georgie. It's because she's in the presence of two blood traitors."

      "That must be it. You've hit the nail right on the head."

      "Do Slytherins know what nails are? Seems like a very muggle contraption to me."

      "Right you are again, Freddie. Good to know I've got such a smart twin."

      Against her better judgement, Nova felt a smile creep at the corners of her lips. She lifted her head from her hands and stared across at the two Weasley twins, who were wiggling their eyebrows again. When the twin on the right realized she was smiling, he sent her a grin.

      "Don't think I've ever seen this one smile. Glad to know you're capable. Now, tell us what's wrong."

      Nova didn't want to. She knew her family problems would sound odd to the Weasley twins, who had backing them the strongest family Nova had ever known. She knew their mother wouldn't be laying out marriage plans for what she considered suitable women. She knew their father wouldn't be forcing them to follow in his path, but letting them choose what they wanted to do. 

      "It's nothing," Nova replied, shrugging her shoulders. Just then, the house elf appeared with a batch of chocolate chip cookies in tow. Nova accepted one and bit into it, feeling the gooey chocolate melt in her mouth and sighed. She felt ten times better already. 

      "We don't believe you," the twin on the left said, stealing one of the cookies. When Nova pouted, he sent her a wink and revealed that he had stolen two, handing the second to his twin. "Are we Gryffindors too lowly to hear about Slytherin problems?"

      Nova sent him another roll of her eyes, choosing not to answer as she ate another chocolate chip cookie. Before she could reply, the portrait to the kitchens swung open once more, and more red hair popped inside.

      "Should have known you two would be here," Ginny Weasley mentioned with a sigh. She was dressed in red pajamas - ever so loyal to her house. When she spotted Nova, she gave the Slytherin a weird look before shrugging her shoulders and plopping down next to her. "Am I still half asleep or is Nova Nott sitting next to me?"

      "We, too, thought our eyes were deceiving us, but it's really her."

      "Hm," Ginny hummed out, her eyes drooping slightly. "I came to get some warm milk to help me fall asleep, but I must say I'm too interested to get to bed now. What is Nova Nott doing in the kitchens past curfew?"

      "I'm right here," Nova said in an annoyed tone, but the Weasley siblings ignored her, continuing to talk about her like she wasn't there.

      "We were trying to figure that out before you came in."

      "Fred reckons it's because she's in the presence of blood traitors, but considering she's been seen canoodling with Ronniekins and Hermione, that rules that out."

      "What is a Ronniekins?" Nova asked, flinging her chin into her hand.

      Her answer came in the form of the door to the kitchens opening once more. Weasley (the one she was the most familiar with, since apparently they were having a reunion) stepped into the kitchen and stopped short when he saw nearly half his siblings and Nova Nott sitting there.

      "What the bloody hell?" Weasley asked stupidly, rubbing his eyes in his hands. "You lot do know I'm a prefect, right? I can give you detention for being out past curfew."

      "Will you?" Ginny Weasley asked daringly with a frightening glare on her face that made even Nova want to back away.

      Weasley though better of it and shook his head. "No."

      As he sat down and grabbed another chocolate chip cookie, Nova stared at the four Weasley siblings, her eyebrows raising as they started talking about nothing in particular. Ginny started talking about Quidditch, Fred and George were still trying to figure out what was wrong with Nova, and Ron was mumbling something about his family being insane.

      It was perfect. It was all Nova had ever wanted. But it was clear she didn't belong here, in the circle of siblings that emanated light and goodness and kindness. So while the four of them were distracted by the house elf that came out and asked what they wanted, Nova slipped away and out of the kitchens, making sure the portrait closed quietly behind her. 

      You're an idiot, she thought to herself. Because for a moment, for only a moment, she had believe that maybe she deserved to be included in that group. The group of love, the group of optimism.

      Her father was a Death Eater. Her brother was well on his way. Her mother had long since been buried in the dirt. Where did that leave her?

      "Hey," someone said, and she hated that she was beginning to recognize the voice. "Fred and George said you were upset. And I didn't see you at breakfast this morning. You're usually down there the same time that Harry and I are."

      "I had to go home for a few hours," she answered, her voice icy. He seemed surprised by it, but what did he expect? She was a heartless Slytherin who had the same mentality as the rest of her house.

      "Okay..." he trailed off, awkwardly throwing his hands into his pockets. "Sorry."

      It's not you, she wanted to say. It's just that being around you and your family makes me want to break down into tears.

      But she couldn't say that.

      "I'll see you tomorrow, Weasley. Tell your brothers they owe me five chocolate chip cookies."

      When she got back to the common room, she whispered the password and made her way inside. She saw Theo sitting on the couch, his eyes closed as he leaned his head onto his hand. She could hear his light snores fill the room.

      "Accio blanket," she sighed out, waving her wand. The green and silver blanket from Theo's dorm shot into her hands and she unfurled the fabric, throwing it over her twin's body so he wouldn't grow cold. "Goodnight, Theo."

      He didn't respond, but he didn't need to. If he did, Nova's heart would feel heavier than it did in that moment.

    ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪    

don't you just love nova's dad