OH BOY OH BOY THIS IS A LONG ONE I hope you all like it. Please read lightly. 

Logan had never known that Patton took anti-depressants. It didn't seem like any of Patton's friends knew. Other than Naomi apparently. That was one thing Patton had kept secret. Kept to himself for a long time. Logan wasn't mad, Patton had every right to keep things to himself. No, Logan didn't know what he was feeling. He was in no way mad or angry with Patton, he was more just sad. Sad that Patton felt like he had to keep things secret from Logan. Of course then Logan felt stupid, Patton can do what he wants with his life, he doesn't have to tell Logan things. Logan didn't even really know why Patton didn't tell anyone. So then knowing these things, why did Logan still feel some feeling? What even was the feeling that he had? Patton would know.

Roman parked his car and the four Rangers got out. Logan looked up at the brick hospital building that towered over them. It had never been so daunting. This was the Rangers' fifth visit to Patton this week alone, and it was undoubtedly going to be the worst one. They all knew it. They had to tell Patton what was happening. No more stalling. No more pretending. Logan figured today of all the days wasn't the best. Holidays were known to bring out the emotions in people, but well, Patton was never that big of a fan of Thanksgiving anyway so hopefully it wouldn't have that much of an impact.

As the group entered the hospital and made their way to Patton's room Logan tried to calm his nerves. The smell of the hospital was becoming a familiar one and Logan did not like that one bit. Roman knew Logan was nervous, they all were. He placed a careful arm around Logan's shoulders and offered a sweet smile. Logan tried to return it as best as he could, but he continued looking around. Passed the food court they went, the smell of off-putting turkey and cleaner surrounded them. Logan saw that they had oreos today as one of the deserts and hoped that would make Patton happy.

When the four reached the nurses' desk Roman asked the woman there for Nurse Iona and she gave him a nod. Sitting on the other side of the desk were a few people. A mother and likely her daughter, a man in his twenties, and a woman. She didn't seem old, but she certainly seemed worried, like her fears had been aging her past her years. This woman was someone Logan recognized, she was almost a fixture at this hospital.

"Roman?" Nurse Iona poked her head out the door behind the nurse's desk.

Roman waved at her and gave her a smile.

"Great, c'mon and follow me." She stepped out and gestured with her half-eaten sandwich.

She began leading them down a hall that Logan wasn't familiar with.

"We moved Patton to a different wing." She began explaining. "Don't worry we moved him to a lower security room, it's a good sign really. He's been doing a lot better these past few days."

This was supposed to be good news, but when Logan looked over at his friends he knew he wasn't the only one who was worried.

"Now, I'm gonna say you all can stay as late as you want, just as long as you're gone by lunchtime tomorrow." Iona told them. "Feel free to leave and come back later though."

She stopped in front of Patton's new door. The sign beside it said 1525A and had a place to swipe a card under that. Nurse Iona pulled out a plastic card and swiped it once. The light on the handle turning green and clicking to signify that the door was unlocked. She opened it and stepped inside, walking over to the bed.

Logan and Roman went inside first. Logan liked the new room better than the old one. The walls were a nicer color and there was a window to the outside. Logan looked over at Patton in the bed. Patton hadn't been looking so good since getting home but it seemed today was a lot better. His hair was still messy but Logan had never minded that. His eyes were just a little brighter, his cheeks had a little more life in them, and he smiled a little more hopefully. Logan felt his stomach drop, he desperately wished that they weren't going to ruin that.

"Hey guys!" Patton waved. "Like the new room?"

"It's great Pat." Roman smiled back at him and made his way over.

"Yeah you got a window this time." Remus snorted following his brother.

"I know, it's in the perfect spot too! I love watching the sunset." Patton said warmly.

Janus gave Patton a soft hug before sitting on Remus' lap in a chair.

"Oh a hug, haha that's nice." Patton giggled. He knew something was off.

"How's your Thanksgiving been Pat?" Roman asked.

"Oh, it's been alright. They have a lot of my favorite shows on so I've just been watching those." Patton told him.

"Have Susan or Megan come by?" Janus asked.

"No uhm, they're coming over for dinner tomorrow though. They might even get to take me out of here for an hour or so." Patton said excitedly. "Right Nona?"

"That's right son." Nurse Iona smiled. "So long as today and tomorrow go well you're allowed out with your family. And only your family." She ended sternly.

This only served to make Logan feel worse.

"How about you guys?" Patton asked. "What've you got going on?"

"Our mom's expecting us for a big family dinner around six." Roman told him.

"The whole extended Reeves clan is coming for Thanksgiving." Remus said with an annoyed look. "I've been preparing my conversation with Grandma Polly about gay rights for days."

"My moms are getting dinner ready now. They wanted me to come see you today though, so you weren't all alone on Thanksgiving. And they don't want me home for a while so they can fight about food in peace." Janus tried.

Logan didn't realize they were waiting for him until Patton said his name expectantly.

"Oh, uhm, my mom couldn't be home so we're not really celebrating Thanksgiving this year." Logan said. "But she'll be in town in a couple weeks so we'll probably do something then."

"Alright Patton, everything looks great. I'm gonna be down the hall, if you need anything you know what to do." Nurse Iona walked toward the door. "Jake is gonna be right outside this door, again you know what to do to get his attention. I'll be in to check on you at five, dinner's at six-thirty, and I'll be in around 11 for another check up before I head home and Anna takes over for the night. I told your friends they can stay the night, just gotta be out before lunch tomorrow."

"Okay!" Patton nodded. "Thank you!"

The Nurse motioned to a man Logan hadn't seen until that moment and the two left the room, closing the door behind them. It was quiet for a little too long.

"So what's Megan and Susan doing?" Roman asked.

"Don't." Patton said sternly. "What's wrong."

"What?"

"What's wrong, what's happened?" Patton crossed his arms. Awaiting an answer that none of them wanted to give.

"Pat uhm, this isn't easy to tell you.." Janus said.

"Well then get it out now. Rip it off like a band-aid." Patton tried. "How many times have I told you all to stop being so sensitive about my situation. I'm not dying, I'm in a hospital sure, but I'm fine. Just tell me."

"Pat." Logan stepped forward and reached out hesitantly, placing a hand on Patton's forearm. "It's a little difficult to tell you what's wrong because we don't really know what's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Patton asked, his face was so worried now. Logan really wished he didn't have to do this.

"After Renette dropped you off here and made sure you were all good she took Virgil back to some facility where Roland and Renae would examine them and then determine what needed to happen next." Janus began. He was always stronger than the rest of them. Or at least better at hiding his worries. "She would call Thomas and let him know if Virgil was going into intensive care or was well enough to conduct interviews and then come to this hospital to be treated."

"I know that." Patton said.

"Well," Remus cut in. "Thomas never got a call."

"What?" Patton's voice broke.

"Renette never called Thomas." Roman said. "We haven't heard from her in all the time that you've been here."

"You-you haven't-" Patton stopped himself.

"And then a few days ago we stopped hearing from Thomas." Janus said quickly. He really had taken Patton's band-aid advice. "Emile stopped coming to school and we decided to go over to their house."

"Patton it looked like no one had been there for a few days." Roman said quickly. "Honestly it looked like they'd left the place in a hurry. There was stuff everywhere and clothes and bags that had been packed up but were left. I mean it was-"

"Weird." Remus said quietly. "But it has something to do with Renette's radio silence we're just not sure what."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Patton asked. "I mean you knew about Renette not talking for the week and a half that I've been here but you didn't think to tell me?!"

"Patton-" Logan squeezed his arm.

"And it's been days since Thomas and Emile went missing and you're just telling me now?!" Patton pulled his arm away. "Why didn't you say anything before now! Virgil could be in danger! They could be in danger! God you guys why am I only hearing about this now?!"

"Patton please." Logan said, trying his best to keep things calm. "You have to see this from our perspective."

Patton huffed and waited for Logan to continue.

"We didn't know you were taking anti-depressants, we knew nothing of what you'd been through these past few years and when we did find out it was fast and you were in the hospital and we were unable to see you because of your condition." Logan said quietly. "We were scared about what this information would do to your mental health."

"That's no good reason to keep this from me. This is important. This absolutely concerns me and it's something I needed to know." Patton told him firmly.

"I-I know. And we should have told you sooner." Logan said. "You're right. But Thomas didn't want you knowing. He knows you better than us, he-he said it would just be better if we didn't say anything until you were out of the hospital."

"Why would he-" Patton stopped again. He looked away, towards the window. "Oh Thomas."

"We just wanted to be sure you were okay enough to hear it." Logan said shakily.

"Are you?" Roman asked. "Okay enough?"

Patton didn't make eye contact. "Is this all you came here for?"

"What?" Roman looked a little taken aback.

"No Pat." Janus said quickly.

"Of course not." Remus told him.

Patton took in a shaky breath. "Can I be alone for a bit?"

"Yeah." Logan nodded.

He stood, motioning for the rest of the Rangers to follow him out. Roman opened the door and left with his head down, Remus and Janus following quickly behind. Before he walked out the door Logan looked back to Patton. He was still looking out the window, his hands were shaking now. He sniffled and pulled his head away looking down at the morpher on his wrist. Logan took a shallow breath and left the room.

Once out in the hall Logan looked around at his friends. Their faces stern, too controlled, Logan couldn't handle it. He walked down the hall without a word. As fast as he could go, Logan walked with shaky legs past the nurse's desk to the cafeteria. He couldn't help but pace up and down, right hand up to his face, left hand stroking up and down on his forearm. Logan's thoughts ran a mile a minute, regretting everything for the past week that's happened.

"Hey." Roman's voice startled Logan from his sort of trance.

Logan didn't say anything, just looked over at his friend, pulling his hands away.

"Look Patton just needs some time." Roman said.

"I know that. I'm not mad at him. He has every right to be upset I just-" Logan took a breath. "We should have told him. We should have said something the second we got the chance."

"No we shouldn't have." Roman said. "Thomas made the right choice and if he were here he would have handled this way better than us but he isn't. So we're doing the best we can."

"Roman, we had no right keeping this from Patton. After everything him and Virgil went through! We know how badly Patton wants to see Virgil again. How close they are. We should have said something. I don't care what Thomas said!"

"Well you should." Roman said. "You said so yourself, Thomas knows him better than us. Knows about him better than us. We have to trust Thomas. If we can't trust him we can't trust anyone. Thomas'll know what to do when he gets back from whatever's going on."

Logan didn't know when Roman got so smart but he was somewhat enjoying this change. Somewhat being the key word.

"Hey, Remus texted, he uh wants to know if you're alright."

"You don't have to lie," Logan scoffed. "And I'm fine. Now. I just feel-I feel-ugh."

"I know." Roman sighed. "But it'll get better."

"When? I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm sick of not being able to explain how I feel and-"

Roman's phone buzzed. He didn't look like he wanted to see it but he did anyway. "Remus said we need to come back to Patton's room."

Logan nodded and followed Roman up and to Patton's hallway. Remus and Janus stood outside the door holding each other nervously. The door was open and Jake the security guard was gone and as Roman and Logan walked hurriedly towards them a nurse pushed them aside and ran into Patton's room. Logan broke into a run and was almost inside Patton's room when Remus and Janus pulled him back.

"What's going on?!" Logan asked worriedly.

"We don't know." Janus admitted.

"What do you mean you don't know?!"

"I mean what I said dammit!" Janus told him. "We don't know what's going on Logan!"

"Nurse Iona just opened the door and ran inside. She told us not to go in and that Jake had to be in there and then she shouted and-" Remus was more telling Roman this than Logan but it didn't matter.

"God." Roman put his hands on his head. "God we screwed up!"

"We shouldn't have said anything." Remus said fast. "We should have waited for Thomas. We should've-"

"Shh." Logan said curtly.

"Logan-"

"Please just shut up." Logan begged. "I just-" Logan put his hands over his ears.

Roman, Remus, and Janus respected what he needed. Quiet. Time to think. Time to calm down.

"Alright Pat that's it. You're doing good. So good." Nurse Iona could be heard saying.

"Yeah?" Patton asked weakly.

"Yeah Honey." She cooed. "I'm so proud of you."

"You are?"

"Very much." She replied.

Logan let his hands fall and let himself drop to the floor. He put his head in his palms and crossed his legs.

"Now, can you hand that to Jake please?" She asked calmly. "Thank you dear. Oh that was so good. How're you doing? Better?"

"Better?" Patton asked softly.

"Yeah are you feeling any better? You don't need to be perfect. No one expects you to be perfect." She said "I just want you to be better. For you. Not for me, not for Thomas, not for anyone but you."

"Mhm." Patton responded.

"Here can you drink some water?" She asked. Logan hoped Patton had taken it. "Sammy how we doin'?"

"All good here." The other nurse responded.

"Wonderful." Iona said with a happy tone.

"Did you know?" Patton asked suddenly.

"Know what Honey?"

"About Renette. And Thomas and Emile?"

"No Baby I didn't." She told him sadly. "I-I hadn't heard from Thomas so I thought something was a little off but I figured your friends had already told you. You never asked me about him so I just assumed."

"Oh." Patton sighed. "Nona, what else are they hiding from me?"

"What do ya mean Hun?"

"They didn't tell me about Thomas. Or Renette. What else haven't they told me? What if they know what's happened and they just won't tell me! And-and-and oh god they don't want to tell me 'cause they're scared and I-I just proved them right I-I shouldn't have been mad! They were right and I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb and stupid and weak and I-"

"Pat, Pat, Pat please breathe Hun. Deep breaths in and out follow me okay? Please?" It was quiet for a while. Logan assumed Patton was following the nurse's order. "Very good. Sammy turn up the-"

"Already done." Nurse Sammy said kindly.

"Thank you." Iona responded. "Take another sip baby. Here. There we go. Jake I think we're okay here, how about you take that and go get some more ice water."

"Got it." The security guard responded.

"And tell those boys to go home. I don't want them here any longer." Nurse Iona told him.

"No!" Patton protested. "No, don't make them go. Please let them stay. I still want to see them just-just not like this. Not while I'm like this, they can't see me like this."

"Are you sure?" Sammy asked. "Patton, it's not your responsibility. You don't owe them anything."

"I'm not saying I do, I just-" Patton stopped talking.

"You don't have to be strong for them Honey." Iona said. "They can handle themselves."

"I know that Nona I just-" Patton took a loud, deep breath. "Can I get some water?"

"Course."

Jake came out of the room in a second and was gone for a little bit before returning. Not without giving the boys a nasty look though. Logan would have felt upset but it only really made him smile. Of course Patton had made it his mission to befriend the forty something man to the point where he disliked anyone who made Patton upset. Of course.

"Here ya are Baby." Iona chuckled.

"I feel better." Patton said. "Not perfect but better."

"That's all I need." The nurse told him. "How's he lookin Sammy?"

"Better." She said. Logan could almost hear her smile. "Not perfect. But better."

"It's almost six." Patton said.

"Yeah Honey it-it is."

"I need to say goodbye to them." Patton said. "Roman and Remus they-they have to be home by six and I can't let me telling them to get out to be the last thing I say to them I-"

"I don't think that's a good idea Pat." Iona's voice darkened.

"Please Nona I just want to say goodbye."

"Alright." She didn't sound like she liked that idea at all. "Fine. I'm staying in here the whole time. And so is Sammy and Jake. None of them come within six feet of you. Got it."

"Yes Nona."

The next thing Logan saw was Jake in the doorway. His arms crossed and a rather angry look was on his face, but he motioned for them to follow him inside Patton's room. Roman helped Logan up and the four went inside tentatively.

"Hey." Patton said weakly.

Logan looked over at Patton. Something had changed. Logan knew it wasn't the puffy eyes, the tear streaks, the heavy breathing. No, it was something else. Patton looked weak. Physically and emotionally drained. Done for. Logan would be lying if he said it wasn't painful to see.

"Pat we're so sorry." Roman said, tears threatening to spill.

"Don't be. You couldn't know. You were just listening to Thomas." Patton said.

"We shouldn't have."

"Don't." Patton said. Only this time with a strained smile. "Besides you don't have much time. I just want you to know that I'm okay. And that I love you guys. I don't want you two to get in trouble with your mom, so-so you should head home. But I just want to say goodbye. So, ya know, you know I'm not mad. Or anything."

"We love you too Pat." Remus told him. He went to take a step toward him but stopped remembering he had to keep distance.

"Visit me soon please? With some good news?" Patton asked.

"You got it Pat." Janus said. The other three were doing what they could to not cry. To smile.

Logan didn't try. He let himself cry. He just needed to cry for a bit.

"We're gonna go now Pat. We'll come back soon okay. With some good news. Some really good news I promise." Roman tried.

"Okay." Patton nodded.

Nurse Iona handed Patton the water and had him drink some of it.

"Logan c'mon." Janus pulled on Logan's shirt a little. "Let's go."

"No." Logan said. "No I'm not going."

"Logan-" Roman tried.

"Lo you should go home to-"

"Don't." Logan borrowed a small phrase from Patton. "My sisters are over at their friends' and I was gonna spend tonight alone anyway. I'm not leaving unless I have to."

It was quiet.

"Does he have to go?" Patton asked Iona, almost desperate.

"I-" She sighed. "No. He-he can stay. Just, keep your distance for a bit."

Logan nodded. Roman, Remus, and Janus gave each other a look and then said their hasty good byes. Logan watched them go and turned toward Pat again once they were out of sight.

"You can sit down over there." Sammy pointed him to a chair in the corner. "Unless you want him outside?"

"No, no, he's fine here." Iona waved her concern away. "Now Baby how're you feeling?"

"I'm better Nona." Patton smiled at her. "Water?"

"Mhm." Jake handed him the cup.

Patton took a few sips before handing it back to Jake. He shivered but it wasn't cold in the room, and certainly not with that blanket.

"Sammy?" Nurse Iona leaned away from Patton and toward her coworker.

"Still good." She said. "Lowering his intake now."

"Alright." Iona nodded. "Pat you're gonna feel a little less . . . cloudy in a bit okay? If it becomes too much you let me know right away."

"Okay." Patton nodded.

Logan was quiet. He watched as Nurse Sammy fiddled with the IV attached to Patton's arm and Logan watched as Patton took deep measured breaths in and out. Patton brought his hands up to his face and rubbed at his cheeks.

"Patton?" Iona asked, putting her hand on Patton's shoulder.

"I'm okay. It's just, I'm feeling it a lot faster than I thought I would." Patton tried to laugh.

"Do you want us to dial it back up?" She asked him.

"No." Patton said. "No, no, it's okay it's just, kind of a lot."

"Alright. Now that's okay Hun."

It went back to quiet as Patton reacted to whatever they were doing. Logan didn't think he wanted to really know. He just watched on, helpless but there. Ready for Patton whenever he would need him.

After some time Patton seemed to have gathered himself well. Sammy left after a little longer and Jake took his post outside once again. Every now and then a nurse would enter and do something before leaving. When Nurse Iona let go of Patton's hand she walked over to Logan. Crouching down in front of him and offering him a curt smile.

"Logan?" She asked.

"Mhmm?" Logan sat up and looked at her.

"You're a strong boy. I-I've gotta go. Get to some other patients. Sammy should be back soon to get him the dinner menu and stuff." She sighed and looked over her shoulder at Patton before turning back. "Go over there and sit by your friend yeah? Talk to him."

Logan nodded. Iona stood up and left the two alone. Patton looked over at Logan and the two seemed stuck where they were for a bit before Logan got up and hurried over to Patton. Just before he could touch him Logan stopped himself. Patton might not want a hug. Patton needs space. Time.

"Oh please don't do that." Patton begged. "You're not gonna break me Lo."

Logan wrapped his arms around Patton softly, but firmly. Patton seemed perfectly okay with that. Even grateful for it.

"I'm so sorry Pat." Logan couldn't help but cry.

"Didn't I already tell you not to be." Patton teased.

"Yes. You did." Logan pulled back with a sniff. "And I won't be, as long as you promise me you won't feel guilty anymore."

This got a small laugh out of Patton. One that Logan was all too happy to hear.

"I thought I was the feelings master." Patton said.

"You are." Logan sat down. "Only I get to be when you're out of commission."

Patton gave him a smile. A real one this time. Logan was quick to return it. He pulled the chair closer to Patton's bed and reached out. Patton gladly taking Logan's hand.

"Pat, I promise that there is nothing else we're not telling you. Absolutely nothing." Logan said.

"Let's not talk about that." Patton said quickly. "Not now. Let's talk about anything else."

"Okay." Logan replied. "Uhh, why aren't Susan and Megan here. I know Susan she'd never let you be here all alone."

"Ha, yeah. Well, I don't like Thanksgiving ya know." Patton said. "Susan may make wonderful mashed potatoes, but no food can make up for the atrocities that Native Americans were put through. Besides, I told them not to come today."

"Why?"

"Well, a few months ago Megan's mom reached out." Patton said. "Like her biological mom. She-she uh she's been doing better. She said she wants some visitation and the court granted it. Just a few hours every now and then, and Susan has to be there. But uhm, she really wanted Megan over for Thanksgiving. So I told Megan and Susan to just go on over and give her a shot. Ya know. This woman she-she just wants her daughter back."

Logan nodded. The room was quiet again. Logan thought maybe even a little awkward.

"You know," Logan decided he'd figuratively break the ice. "Now that Virgil is with us. Our bet could really go my way."

"Whaddya mean what-" Patton's eyes widened. "Oh no. Oh gosh I completely forgot-"

Logan laughed. He couldn't help it. Patton's reaction was just too funny. And Patton's own laughter only spurred him on to laugh more.

"You know, you could just save yourself the wait and tell me now." Logan suggested.

"Uh-uh. I made that bet and I'm sticking to it. As much as I think those two might love each other, I never want to tell you what happened that day." Patton giggled.

"Please?" Logan blinked rapidly, hoping for Patton to crack a smile.

"Nope. Sorry but those cute eyes will get nothin' outta me." Patton winked.

"Damn." Logan sighed, sitting back in his chair.

"Language." Patton rolled his eyes. "So uhm, what's going on? In the outside world I mean. Stranger Things season four out yet? They cure cancer while I was gone?"

"Uh, no and no I'm afraid." Logan said with a chuckle.

"Oh." Patton looked away. Logan watched as his face saddened.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Logan asked. "It's clearly not something good."

Patton waited. Took a breath. Swallowed. And looked at Logan with a furrowed brow.

"Four years?" He asked, his voice high.

"Pat." Logan sighed.

"You didn't tell me for four years." Patton said. "I-I didn't know, or notice, for four years."

"That was kind of the point." Logan told him. "Patton what do you want me to say? I mean, to be honest, I wasn't exactly good at hiding my feelings for you, but well, I was insecure. I still am. I mean what would you have said if I told you sooner?"

"Well," Patton started shakily. "If you had told me when we were freshman, I probably would've said that I was flattered, surprised definitely, but that I didn't feel the same. And that I was sorry. And I would've left it at that. Then, if you'd told me when we were sophomores, uh, I would've probably asked you when you wanted to go out on a date. I was kind of slutty in tenth grade. But, well, I would have to admit that I didn't feel the same way about you sooner or later. I'd probably end up getting both of us hurt in the meantime. And then, if you came up to me in eleventh grade and said 'I have a crush on you' I would've told you that I don't like you in that way and then I would've done everything I could to help you."

"Help me?"

"I'm a youtuber Lo. People I don't even know confess their love to me every other month. At some point you start to figure out what to say to them so they realize they don't like you in that way. They just see you as someone they should be with. Someone they should want. But don't actually want."

"Patton-"

"I know how that sounds. And I know in the context of this person in question being you, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but well, it's what I would've done." Patton sighed. "But say you told three months ago. Two months ago, one month, while I was on that ship. Or-or say you told me a week and a half ago. But-but I didn't have enough time to say what I wanted to. Or, say right now, you told me that you had a big, fat, stupid, gay crush on me."

Patton and Logan laughed.

"Say that was true. I would tell you that our first date was already planned. Courtesy of me and getting kidnapped and having plenty of time to think about this. And also me not having the best of sleep schedules even when I'm not on a terrifying alien ship." Patton admitted. "See, our first date would be a few days after I get out of here. Casual dress, I'm not gonna make you be all fancy for date number one. We go some place in town. Around six, get something light to eat and a couple sodas. Then once we're done we get in my car, I'm driving, duh, I'm not getting your deathtrap. Then we get some ice cream. We pick out flavors that we think the other will like. And then we go to that field where all the teenagers go to make out. I mean we won't make out! . . . Maybe. Who knows? Maybe the moon'll be full that night. Anyway, we spend our time talking. We know each other, but I wanna hear you talk about things that you love. I want you to tell me a secret and then I'll tell you one of mine and then you talk to me about Sherlock and college and your dreams and everything you want to be and do. And I get to listen. I get to see your beautiful face light up like it's christmas while you tell me all the things you love."

Logan was stunned. Each word Patton said pulled him closer to the other boy. Each sweet, soft word carried Logan heart for miles as he took in all of this information, all of this confession. Logan drank it up eagerly, not taking his eyes off of Patton once.

"Then uh, you plan date two. Fancy, not fancy, whatever. You get that one. Then, date three mine again. I think I'll take you out to that super fancy place an hour away. You know what I'm talking about. Actually silver silverware, dinners that cost over thirty bucks but are half the size. We get fancy drinks and get all fancy dressed and have a fancy time until it gets late. Then I'll be a proper gentleman and drive you home, take you to your doorstep. That whole thing. Like the movies." Patton got a wistful look in his eyes. "Fourth date is back to you. Duh. Then the fifth date. It'll be some time when Megan and Susan aren't home. You come over to my place and I make homemade popcorn and we eat chocolates and watch movies. Romantic, scary, funny, whatever kind we want. Just movies that we can talk about and enjoy together. That's all."

Logan let out a quick breath. He felt like he was floating. He had no idea what to say. What do you do when the words that you've been waiting four years to hear finally get said? What do you do when something you'd dreamt about so many times you were left with the hopeless feeling that it would simply be that, a dream, actually happens?

"I could keep going. But I feel like by the time I get to the end of my list you'll be creeped out and not actually want to do any of those things with me." Patton laughed. "So, whaddya say?"

"About what?" Logan asked.

"Do you still want to?" Patton asked. "Be honest with me."

"Pat," Logan squeezed his hand. "Of course I do."

Patton giggled and squeezed his hand back. "Good because if you didn't that whole confession thing right there would have been real awkward."

"Yeah it really would've." Logan nodded.

"Okay well you don't have to rub it in." Patton said.

"Haha you like me." Logan said like he was a little middle schooler again. Making fun of his friends in a mean way. "You like me, Patton likes me!"

"Stop!" Patton laughed. "You're embarrassing me!"

"That's the point." Logan smiled cheekily. "Pat-ton li-kes meeee." He sang out.

"Okay enough! I'll take it all back!"

"Nope, no, you can't take it back. You're big fat stupid gay speech about how you like me is stuck in my mind forever. There is nothing you can do about it." Logan laughed.

"Oh I've created a monster." Patton sighed.

"Yes you have." Logan nodded.

The two laughed together, a nice real laugh. Logan appreciated it.

"So I tell you that I return your feelings and you make fun of me like we're in ninth grade?" Patton shook his head. "Since when have you been childish?"

"I'm just fulfilling the dreams of ninth grade me." Logan told him.

"Oh how lovely." Patton smiled. "Well I hope ninth grade you is very happy."

"Hmmm, I think he is." Logan told Patton.

There was a pregnant pause just before Patton yawned and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

"Are you tired Patton?" Logan asked.

"I little I guess." Patton responded.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day I'm sure. Getting used to your new room, hearing terrible news, and then confessing your gay love for me, it-it's tiring." Logan smiled teasingly. "Do you want me to go so you can sleep?"

"No." Patton said firmly. "I don't want to sleep."

"Pat, you need your sleep." Logan said softly.

"I know but I don't want to sleep." Patton admitted.

There was a knock at the door and Sammy entered the room with a paper in hand and a small smile.

"Hey Pat, you up for some dinner?" She asked, though it really wasn't a question. "Here, you know whatever you want is covered so eat. Please."

"Okay." Patton took the menu that she offered and began looking it over.

"You two now kid." she looked over at Logan. "I'm not letting a highschooler go without dinner on my watch. Especially on Thanksgiving."

"I'm really not that hungry." Logan said.

"Ah no, when I get back both of you better tell me a main course, two sides, a drink, and a desert at least." She said firmly. "I'll accept nothing less."

With that she was gone, leaving the two to their choices.

"How did that Turkey smell while you made your way up here?" Patton asked.

"Umm-"

"Yeah that's enough for me, I'll just have my usual." Patton shrugged and handed the menu to Logan.

"Uh they have oreos today." Logan told him.

"Good, I need some." Patton smiled.

Logan knew Patton's eyes were on him as he looked over the menu, figuring he would just pick whatever Patton had. When Logan looked up and met Patton's eye the two stared at each other for a bit. Logan had always loved Patton's eyes. Patton had said before once that he wished he had eyes like Logan. Bright blue and sparkling with knowledge, as Patton described. But Logan didn't think that would fit Patton one bit. Patton was caring, collected, compassionate. And his eyes perfectly reflected that. They were a deep dark brown. They almost drew you in. Made you feel safe, warm. Logan didn't see any reason why Patton would want anything else.

"You two make your choices yet?" Sammy's voice asked from the doorway, she seemed a little too giddy to just be asking for their dinner orders.

"Uhm yeah." Patton tore his eyes away from Logan and said his order of mac and cheese and sides. Logan simply said he would eat the same and Sammy left with a nod.

"Why don't you want to fall asleep Pat?" Logan asked.

"Well," Patton looked away from him, sad. "I've been having nightmares."

"Nightmares?" Logan asked.

"Bad ones." Patton admitted. "I didn't want to say anything 'cause you all thought I was doing so well and I didn't want to ruin that. But yeah. I've been having awful nightmares. Almost every night. I just-I don't know it's scary to fall asleep though."

"Does Nurse Iona know?" Logan asked him.

"Yeah she does." Patton said. "She has me write down what I can remember in the morning so I can show them to my psychiatrist."

"Okay." Logan nodded. "Pat, what kind of nightmares?"

Patton was quiet for a moment before turning to Logan and taking in a deep breath.

"They usually start with me on the ship. In that room." Patton began steadily. "Virge and I are up there, together and everything is fine until-until the guards come in. And they zap me with those things and I'm helplessly paralyzed as they drag Virgil away, leaving me alone. The room is cold, and dark, and I can't do anything but listen to Virgil screaming while they-she hurts them. She injects them with those chemicals. She does whatever she does to them." Patton took a moment to gather himself. "Then the guards come back. I can only see their outline but it makes me so, so scared. They just keep zapping me over and over, hitting me, hurting me, I can't move or make a sound, I just take it. I let them hurt me in all these different ways while she screams at them to get my morpher. And then I'm alone again. Back in the dark. In the cold. Everything hurts so, so bad. And then Virgil opens the door. They're so weak looking, but they pretend like nothing happened . . . because to them nothing did. And I just let them get away with it. They get me water, food and then, then it's fine again. Until the guards come back. And this happens over and over."

Logan stared at Patton in horror. Patton had been dealing with this for so long and didn't say anything. He didn't want to. And now he was trusting Logan to hear it all.

"I can't stop it. It's the same dream over and over. Sometimes I don't dream at all but when I do it's always that nightmare. Sometimes she screams different things, or they hurt me in different ways, but it's mostly the same." Patton said. "I don't like falling asleep."

"Pat, it-it's okay." Logan said. "Thank you for telling me."

"If there's a time to be honest it's now." Patton simply. "Just, stay here at least until I fall asleep? I think I'll sleep better knowing you're here."

"Of course." Logan gave Patton a weak smile.

Sammy and another nurse entered not long after with their food and some trays for the two to eat on. Patton and Logan enjoyed their food together and talked about things that had happened while Patton had been away. Logan asked Patton what he wanted to do once getting out of the hospital and Patton told him very plainly that he just wanted to try and get back to normal. Whatever that would look like. The two wondered what life would be like with Virgil. With this new strange friend. Patton told Logan about some of the time that he'd spent up on the ship with Virgil. Teaching Virgil about earth things. Talking to Virgil about the Rangers. When the two finished Logan gathered their dishes and set them aside.

"Lo, look. I told you the sunset was beautiful." Patton motioned toward the window. Logan looked past Patton and out at the sun setting over the horizon. "Who knew our dumb Florida town could make such a pretty picture."

Logan wasn't looking out the window any more. Patton's face was all the beauty he needed then. He just looked so peaceful. So content. Logan thought maybe he should get a picture but figured this moment was so special he'd simply commit it to memory. It was hard to look away from Patton, it always had been for Logan, but when he did it was to look at their intertwined fingers as Patton gave his hand a comforting squeeze. Patton yawned yet again and Logan himself realized how tired he was. It wasn't that late, barely seven, but the sun set early in November. Logan knew he'd have to call Lauren soon or he wouldn't get home at all.

"Lo, can you lay with me a bit?" Patton asked him, almost whispering.

Yeah, Logan wasn't gonna get home.

"Sure Pat."

Logan sat down on the bed, taking off his shoes and setting them on the floor by the bed. Then felt free to wrap himself around Patton. His arm across Patton's shoulder, his face buried in Patton's hair. Patton's strawberry scent filled Logan's senses. How is that even possible? Logan asked himself. Once the sun was fully over the horizon and the room was only filling with the dim light of the night sky, Patton turned, curling himself into Logan and letting himself drift off to sleep. Logan followed suit rather quickly. Hoping he could keep that nightmare away, just for tonight.