Oh Aether
A lot just happened
I finally understand and I finally got the truth

I am relieved in a strange way
I just, am so happy to know

Where do I began..
Well, the "cycle"

This all really started back when we all were turned into kids, I became friends with Cindy(Cinder) that day.

We were good friends, but back then she apparently did not have the nicest intentions. She looked at my history and how it seemed to repeat itself. She called it the 'Cycle', saying I was doomed to a fate of constant repeating suffering.

I slowly started to believe it, watching life and picking away the tiniest things and seeing if it proved the cycle to be true.

I was honestly an idiot
Haha, Good thing I am smart now

Besides that- I eventually became.. desperate to escape the "cycle".
That is when Cindy confronted me, offering to help me.
She taught me how to fight, trying to well um.. get me to join what she called the 'dark side'

Then at some point.. she had apparently changed my code?
And it actually makes sense though, I started having those uncontrollable anger outbursts right when she had changed me back from being a snow globe- do not ask.

But I ended up Uno reversing her- dragging her into the non-evil side.

And then we became true friends!
But she was unable to fix my code, and I did not know anything about the code at the time.

Either way, the cycle kept haunting my thoughts and actions. Little things pushed me over the edge and I finally broke.

I am not proud of what happened from here

Cindy in attempt to help dragged me and sal together, and made us talk. Cindy told her about the cycle.
And I mentioned the only way I knew to 'break' it.

To give up being the good guy.

But I could not bring myself to completely do.. that.
I tried- I am not proud of it but I tried.
And of course guilt just ate me up inside so I stopped.

Cindy wanted to help, so apparently she lowered my guilt levels to the minimum.

And then...
I killed 7 people.

Cindy has seemingly realized her mistake.. so she came to me, and fixed my code.

But to do that meant she would have to use all of her magic. Killing her.

She left this world to go be with Solstie..

And left a note- explaining everything I just wrote down.
Also saying that she made it so will forget this???
I do not want to forget this.

Because I am choosing to grow from it.
I have leaned!
The cycle.. it is real but not in the way presented to me.

It is just life, where things go wrong but they always get better! Yes bad things will happen in the future too and there is no way to stop that.
But it always turns out okay.

Then.. we move on, and we grow.

Now, that is my mission.
To make up for my mistakes. For I have made many.
And to grow from this.
And hopefully,

Help others grow too.

Also, I am not mad at Cindy. Yes what she did caused some... problems. But she made up for everything. And, I forgive her.

It would be wrong to be mad at her still-

Now to deal with trying to explain why I murdered people.
This will be  f u n

Speaking of fun, I have a small  to-do-list, just for now

-Find Water bird and Nerdie
-Figure our how to help Glitter Glue
-GoToTherapyButDoNotTellAnyoneForTheSakeOfMyPride
-Help string
-Actually sleep to help people without being a mindless zombie
-Talk to sal
-hang out with Chloe

Hmm, I believe that is all for now

it is not always fine
But it will be