Bianca

I had asked Nico if there was any strange rules my girlfriend should know about beforehand. For either him or Percy, because Percy was coming with. And he sent me the weirdest response.

Yeah, don't try to high five Percy. Or raise your voice a lot. I doubt the latter will happen. But just in case.

So I warned her about that and asked Nico why we can't do that. I like high fives.

Anxiety and shit. He explained to me. It's weird, but it's a trigger. I haven't expierenced the high five myself. But I expierenced the yelling because I was blowing off steam one day and I felt like a very shitty boyfriend when he was on the verge of an anxiety attack after that. So just don't do it. Please.

I assured him I wouldn't.

Percy

Life became interesting at lunch. We met with her girlfriend, and I thought she looked a little familiar.

She introduced us. To fucking Nancy Bobofit. Who was here girlfriend. And fun fact: when I'm not at camp, I'm like the cover of punk rock. If my mom would let me dye my hair, it'd be complete.

I wasn't punk in the 6th grade. So she only thought I shared a name.

"I knew this kid back in middle school," she explained why she was just kind of taken back by that name. "Sixth grade. Percy Jackson, he was new to Yancy. I was never close to him, though. We actually hated each other. It was dumb. He had one friend. Grover. Grover never came back to Yancy and Percy got expelled. Nobody likes him because I don't know why. But he never did put himself out there. I heard he went missing the next summer. Never heard if they found him or not."

"That's kind of sad." Bianca didn't connect that it was me and Grover.

"Yeah," Nancy agreed. "I hope he's doing okay. I heard he had a shitty home life from somebody. Maybe overheard one of our teachers talking about it. I don't know. That'd be sad, though. If he died."

I'm not crying. I'm balling up my emotions and looking like I really don't care.

"What do you mean?" Nico was out to find out shit I don't tell him. "He had a bad home life?"

She shrugged.

"Kids always picked on him because his dad wasn't around." Nancy told the three of us, but mainly the Hades kids. "I never really pegged on his home life. I think he might've been abused, too. I don't know. I asked a friend once and she laughed. Said if he was, he had it coming."

She let out a huff of air.

"Whatever that means."

I didn't say anything.

"That's just cruel," I didn't like to think about that kind of stuff. Not anymore. It hurts and I'm supposed to have a good time. But Bianca insisted on talking about this furthermore. "I hope he's okay, too."

He's not.

"Anyways," Nico noticed how uncomfortable I was getting, thank gods. "How did you guys meet?"

To be honest, I zoned out most of the conversation just trying to keep myself under control. I didn't think it's be hard. But it is. Because life sucks, and I don't know what to do about it.

I can go to therapy, but with what what money? My family is broke. In more ways than just one. Because fucking Paul had to leave and leave his kid just to do the same thing to her that my dad did to me.

My dad...

Fucking hate him.

By the time I started paying attention, Nico and Bianca weren't there. We already had our food. Most of it was gone.

Mine wasn't. I really wasn't hungry anymore.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Nancy asked, trying to start a conversation. I just glanced at her before looking back down. "Are you going to eat your food? Bianca said you guys haven't eaten anything today. You must be starving."

"I'm not hungry."

I didn't mean to come off as trying to be an ass to her. I really didn't. But I guess that's what it looked like. I was just trying to not ruin this day for the others. My life is shitty. It doesn't mean I have to make their shitty.

"Woah, relax." Nancy said, as if I had the energy to get mad. "sorry, I figured I would ask. You haven't said anything besides your name the entire 45 minutes we've been here. If you don't like me or whatever, I get it but—"

"No, you're fine." I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. "I just don't talk that much— anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Yeah, anymore." I might've seemed stand-offish but whatever, right? As long as I can hold off my break down. It's going to happen. Probably when we get back to my cabin. "Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, backing off. "Sorry."

I was selfish for another whole three seconds. Before I realized how much of an asshole I was being.

"No, I'm sorry." I just kind of woke up in a shitty mood today. Thinking about middle school wasn't helping. Middle school was just a lot of shit. "I just... Am bad with people and I'm not in the best mood today. It's not your fault. You didn't know. But uh... Your not friend from 6th grade? The one that has the same name as me? He's alive, if you really care to know. They found him after like a month. My parents followed the story when it happened. So he's alive. I forgot to say that earlier."

"Oh, well that's good." I didn't think that she'd still remember me after all these years. Or care. "I uh... Was hoping he would be. Both of them. I was an ass to both of them, but we were kids. Percy didn't deserve to be expelled. The teacher kind of overreacted. But what happened happened. What to you think? Do you think he's doing okay? Living out the life he wants?"

I thought about it for a minute. Because I'm fucking miserable. But I've felt worse. There are people who have it so much worse than I do.

Or at least, that's what my last therapist always told me. I have it so good. I shouldn't be complaining.

Fucking hated her, too.

"Not yet," but I had a plan to get out of this hellhole. And it wasn't suicide. My original plan to ditch the big city. To ditch the city so many people love. "I think right now he's probably in a hard spot. You said he had a hard home life, right? But eventually, he will. He just needs to walk away for a while, right?"

That's when I realized that there was nothing stopping me from doing that. Nico fucking hates camp, he'd leave in a heart beat. And right now, he's the only fucking thing stopping me from just leaving.

I could run away now. There's no reason for me to stay anymore.

And it took her a minute. Nancy had to really look at me. Look behind my fucked up exterior to find the less fucked up 12 year old she went to school with.

It was only 6 years ago. But it feels like a fucking eternity.

"Gods, you've gone through the ringer a few dozen times." Nancy commented, and figured it out. "You're doing okay, though? Grover and you still hang out? You took a lot of shit for both of you."

I nodded my head.

"When he's around, yeah." I assured her that not my entire life was a piece of shit. "he's gone on family stuff a lot. But we still talk and hang out, yeah. If he's not around, I still have a few other friends. Nico. So not everything is shit. I just have depression and it makes things feel worse than they actually are. So I don't talk that much anymore."

"Well that's understandable," the fact that she didn't ask about the depression was kind of nice. "you never would've known my brother, but he had depression, too. I really don't know how bad. He was older brother, and he ran away when I was 5 or 6. He left in the middle of the night and never came home. Mom was already kind of insane. She put me up for adoption and I became a Bobofit. They dropped the case like 7, 8 years ago. Most people said he probably killed himself. Others don't."

"What was his name?"

"Luke," she answered my question. "Luke Castellan. I'm from Connecticut. I guess after I was born, our dad left and it destroyed my mom and Luke always talked about finding him. So hopefully he did. It'd be nice to know who he is. You get it, right? You know.'

"Yeah," I agreed. "I uh... I think I have something you might be interested in."