Playlist - Fuck It I Love You by Lana Del Rey

Astoria

I don't care. I told myself as a constant reminder. I didn't care about the roses, the gifts or even the I am sorries. I wasn't going to be masochist to my feelings, they were fragile as it is. I didn't want to add more pain to it.

Axel had invited me to dinner. His note said, This one time. Please allow me to take you out on dinner. I promise I will leave you alone after it. Just this one time, please.

I had crumpled the note immediately after reading it, tossed in trash. Gone and forgotten. The next day, I got another note pleading to agree to go on a dinner with him and it kept repeating until I had enough.

Axel was leaning against his car, arms and ankle crossed. His stubble is unshaven and clothes a little creased here and there. He saw me stalk over to him and straightened up, his body taut and aggressively masculine as he pushed away from the car and closed the distance between us.

I held up my hand, stopping him from coming anywhere beyond what's deemed appropriate for ex-lovers.

"Astoria."

"Sorry, I can't chat with you now. I just came to tell you that your flowers, gifts and especially these notes," I paused to hold one up in the air. "Needs to stop." I threw the note at him.

He wasn't a slightest bit deterred by it instead leaned forward. "I will stop once you agree to have dinner with me." His vivid blue gems bored through the unrelenting challenge in mine.

"No, Axel. I won't."

"Why won't you give me one chance?" He raised his voice, for the first time, I heard emotions in his voice. He was a desperate man and wouldn't back down until he had what he wanted. "Just one dinner. After that, I will not bother you again."

"What do you think will be accomplished on this dinner that you're so insistent about? What do you want from me?"

"I want you, goddammit," he bit out, urgently. He clenched his fist to conceal the sudden surge of anger. "You promised me that you wouldn't love anyone." He threw an accusing jab at me. "I asked you to trust me, but you never did."

"I don't have time for this." I swung on my heel, wiped my clammy hands on my overcoat despite the cold.

"Toots, just listen to me."

That term of endearment flooded painful memories back to the surface of my brain. I hated how I felt. I hated how weak my resolve was and certainly hated that I was weak and couldn't ignore the frustration call from him.

I wished I had not looked back. He sent my world awry and he expected me to come back to him, just like that? How could he...

"Don't come near me, Axel." I begged him. "You've hurt me enough for one lifetime." A tear cascaded down my face, I ignored how defeated he looked, I avoided what it did to my heart.

I strode towards the bus stop, hoping he had gone by now. The sound of his car engine roared back to life, my heart breaking a little as I heard him leave. I didn't care, I told myself. He could go back to the burrow he came from.

But he was still here. The car rolled up beside me with blares of honk to garner my attention as well as the bystanders. I took one glance at the car to find he had rolled down the window and was keeping up with my steps.

He was making a scene on purpose and with the curious heads turning at us, staring down at us. He was working onto getting my attention. When I turned towards the car, getting off the pavement to go to the car.

I leaned down, over the rolled window at the passenger door.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded, pointedly. "Its looking childish."

He had a determined look on his exquisite face. "So be it. I want to talk to you."

"Carry on, because we have nothing to talk about."

                                        ***
"Earth to Astoria." The sound of dad's voice broke me out of my trance. "You've been doing that a lot," he remarked.

I chopped the veggies. "Doing what?"

"Getting inside your head. I called you out three times, but you were busy wandering through your thoughts?"

"I didn't realize I did that." I pass the chopped veggies to him to put in the soup stock.

I sit on the kitchen stool, resting my chin on the palm of my hand. It was becoming apparent to dad now that I was behaving out of ordinary. Since Axel came back into my life, everything I knew became a mess. I don't know whether to throw it away or clean it up.

Dad's not a fool. His suspicion was growing day by day. I know I had to divert his attention before he could confront me.

"There's a kid in school, he's super cute and so smart. I didn't know five years old could be this clever? His mom has no idea what a gem he is."  I brought up one of the most mundane topic to talk over dinner prep.

Dad was having none of it though. "Is there something going on with you? You can tell me, sweetheart."

I brushed him off. "It's nothing, dad."

"Fine. Don't tell me." He went back to his stock. I plunged a spoon inside the bubbling stock, tasting the umami flavor.

"Wow, dad. You should've been a chef. This is money."

His eyes flicked to mine briefly before he went back to adding flavors to the stock. Great. He was mad at me now.

"Oh, dad. You're such a child sometimes." I chuckled, unable to hold it. "It's cute." He said nothing. "No one told me parents could be such emotional blackmailers." I went to rest my head on his back, putting my hands around him.

"Astoria."

I smile as I pull away from him. "Dad." I match his tough tone, mockingly. I dip a kiss on his temple. "Call me when the dinner is ready."

When the next morning arrives, it awaits me with a dozen of red roses, in my house and with dad inspecting them with a critical eye. Oh, God.

My heels clicked in, dad turned around at the sound, holding out a note. I briefly close my eyes, annoyed at myself for not realizing that Axel could easily find my home.

"Astoria, honey, what's this?" He held onto the note. "It's for you from some guy named Alex."

"Axel, dad."

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

"His name is Axel not Alex."

"I don't care for his name. Why is this guy sending you flowers with notes attached? What are you hiding from me?"

"It's nothing."

"It's far from nothing." A grim line on his mouth formed. "Fine, don't tell me what bothers you. I deserve not knowing it anyway."

Taking a deep breath. I decided to put dad out of his misery. "He was my ex-boyfriend. Papa and mama used to work as live-in staff for his family. I've known him for a long time."

The grim line from dad's mouth faded, but the lines of his forehead creased. He usually did that when he was troubled by something he didn't want to let me know.

"We broke up shortly before graduation and now—"

"He wants you back." Dad completed it on my behalf.

I nodded. "Happy, now? Don't guilt trip me again. I don't like it."

                                     ***

There was something different about Axel. I couldn't put a finger on it which has caused me sleepless nights since the day he showed up again. He smiled when he saw me, but gone was the wolfish grin and in place was a sincere curl around his mouth.

Unnerving, it was.

His patience stunned me, no, I was stupefied beyond reason. I don't know what to think anymore. Eyes devoid of malice glitter, words spoken like a gentleman rather than the caveman I knew he was.

I stared into his eyes, trying to pinpoint manipulation.

"I thought you would never agree." He pushed away from the car and came to stand at an appropriate distance from me. Strange. "Never stop trying, I guess."

His frame still towered over me, I tried to act unfazed by this 2.0 version of Axel. "You look beautiful." He raked his eyes appreciatively at me.

I looked down, heat emanating to my cheeks. "Let's go, Axel. I have an hour tops before I head back to my office."

He leads to his car, opens the door for me and makes sures I have my seat belt before he maneuvers back to the driver's side of the car.

I was suddenly overwhelmed by his masculine scent. It overpowers my brain. What worries me is that I would come back for more, more of him.

"Why are we doing this, Axel?" He stares ahead at the road not fazed by my question.

"It's just a dinner, Astoria."

"It's never just a dinner with you, Axel. I've known you for a long time to know you better than what you've trying to portray."

His smile curves at one side. "And what am I portraying?"

"This man you're pretending to be. He's far from what you are. You're a manipulative, selfish person who cares for nothing other than yourself."

"That's not true. I care for you deeply." His knuckles lightly brushes against mine, sending a jolt of goosebumps down my skin.

"No, you don't. If you had remotely cared for me, then you would've never let me suffer so much while we were together. You pranced around with girls right in front of me. Don't talk about care when you don't know what it means."

I mentally patted myself for not choking on my words.

He says nothing and neither do I. I stared outside the window, watching as the scenery changed from green landscapes to tall buildings entailing that we were in the city.

To my relief, Axel remains quite and somewhat at distance when he escorts us into the restaurant. The restaurant is a posh, fine dining place with soft jazz music playing out. The hostess showed us to our table. I didn't miss her fluttering lashes directed towards Axel.

My mood dimmed as I felt a sharp pang of something akin of jealousy swell inside me. Axel' handclasp came accompanied by a smile—a slow, tantalizing smile. Everyone had eyes on me, but had his set on me, in his own way reassuring me... for what? I hoped he didn't think that I was being jealous, that would be mortifying.

My pathetic heart leapt in my chest. I hated the adoring gaze of his eyes. I also hated how my ill behavior towards him wasn't repulsing him and drove him into taking charge of the situation. He had no business behaving like a gentleman.

I shrugged his hand.

No words appeared in my head. We both sat in silent until he broke the silence.

"You met your dad," he said it like a statement. He was already aware I had met him. I nodded in response. "And moved in with him." Again, a statement. I nodded again. "He's a formidable man." He pushed when the waiter arrived with our drinks. He had ordered some expensive scotch I had no idea about. He continued, once we were alone,"Very successful, until now he had no heir to his fortune."

I had a bad feeling about where the conversation was headed.

"But, he recently made a grave mistake."

I sipped from the glass, swallowing the lump with the alcohol. His elegant nonchalance made stark contrast to the depth of his words. He could be discussing the weather to any onlookers.

"He made some wrong investments and now everything he has built so far looks bleak."

"Axel." I swallowed, before continuing. "Why are you telling this to me?" I felt a trickle of alarm.

"I am giving you an opportunity."

Bewildered, I blinked. "Opportunity, Why?"

"Your dad is a heart patient, barely has some years left to him. It's up to you whether you can let him have those years to see or let him die before his time."

Unnerved, I stared at Axel, suddenly looking at him in a new light. His poised, gentleman calmness was a facade. In fact, he has never emitted ominous energy more than now.

This time, my heart lurched for an entirely different reason. Tension tightened in my chest as I waited for him to continue.

"I know the last thing you want is to send your newfound dad into an early grave, right?" His rhetorical question made me uneasy. "You may ask how his bad business decision has to do with me? Well, baby, it has everything to do with you."

I perched, ramrod-stiff, on the edge of the chair. "But—'" I started to bleat.

"He sold me the majority shares of his business on the condition that I would sell it back to him if his investment took off, long story short, it didn't and now I own the biggest stake of his company, I own his reputation."

"B-But, y-you're just a c-college graduate."

He smiled. "No, I am also an angel investor. I made the right choices at the right time and now, I own a fortune to my name."

I stared down at the cut crystal tumbler. "Where d-does my role p-plays into this?"

"Yours is the most important part, darling. Show me your eyes first." I raised my eyes to meet him. "I have never gotten over how beautiful your eyes are, so exquisite."

"What do you want from me?"

"What I had promised you all along, you will marry me. It's upto you, you can either make your dad believe you're marrying at your own will and let me him be happy in his final years playing with his grandkids or you can tell him truth and you know what happens next."

Axel reached into his breast pocket and brought out a velvet box. He placed the box in front of you. "Go on, open it."

I reluctantly lifted the top of it, revealing what can only be a stunning platinum band with small diamonds encrusted around it. It had a very masculine look to it. I frowned at it.

"That's what you'll put on my finger on our wedding," he said so casually, it drove me insane.

"I haven't agreed to anything."

"You will. I know you. There's nothing you can do about it. You can either tell yourself you're being forced to marry me and pretend that you don't love me or you can suck it up and allow yourself a chance."

"A chance at what?" I challenged him.

"To be happy."

                                         ***

Present

Axel

I heard the voices were getting louder by each second and knew that I had accomplished my goal. I had entered the suite with firm intent. As I had planned out the scenario, Jade, my fiancé, was caught red handed with her girlfriend in a compromising position.

It was none other than my father who had caught Jade engaged in the deed. Mom was frantically trying to calm herself down while Jade' parents, especially her father, Richard were stunned beyond words.

All eyes turned to me when I entered the room. My eyesight met Jade' tear stricken eyes. I gave her a reassuring nod. It was just like we had planned it. She would have to take a stand for herself and her love. Everything was left for her to do.

Dad was blazing venom at Jade and Richard. It wasn't because he had caught Jade, no, it was because he had been insulted by her. To him, our marriage was the perfect business alliance. Had it been a guy instead of a girl, he might have swept everything under the rug and paid the guy away. But, Jade was adamant. She wasn't going to be bullied around anymore.

He couldn't let himself be insulted by a mere girl. I knew him better than anyone. He will insist the marriage to happen and then will proceed to make Jade' life miserable.

"Richard, you bastard. You knew about your daughter' affair? You were going to hand me a fucking damaged goods."

I didn't doubt Richard' ability to try to make the spectacle go away. Jade would not be able to do anything if her father had his way. Surprisingly, he didn't utter a word.

"Get out of here, you bitch." Dad pointed at Jade' girlfriend. "This is a family matter. You, Out now." The poor girl trembled at dad's tone.

"I told you, she isn't going anywhere. I love Julia. I won't let you tear us apart." Jade put on a brave front.

"How dare you talk back to me?" Dad charged towards Jade. "You foolish girl, I will throw your little girlfriend and you in a ditch in an instant."

"You don't scare me." Jade stood in front of her girlfriend, shielding her. "This has nothing to do with you. I will leave my life on my terms."

Dad raised his hand to strike down Jade, but was stopped when Richard held him back.

"She is my daughter. Don't you dare come near her." Richard pushed dad's hand away and stood in front of Jade. "This marriage was an alliance between our families, but due to unforeseen circumstances, it cannot be carried out. I don't care what you do, Blake. But know this, I will hunt you down if you ever harm Jade in anyway."

"Oh, wonderful. This cannot get any better. Richard, I will sue you—"

"Stop it right there, dad." I cut him off. "We need to talk now. Before this situation escalates any further."

"Shut up, Axel. I will handle this my way. No one gets away insulting my name and you." he turned back to Richard. "You will certainly won't get away from this."

"He's going to do nothing, Richard. And dad, I wasn't talking to you before, I have to exchange words with Richard."

It gave me a thrill of satisfaction watching my dad seethe in rage. He was already planning my demise in his head. Little did he know what I had planned for him.

After a prolonged silence, Richard agreed to talk to me. It earned me my mom's desperate pleas and wails to stop acting irrationally and dad's death glares. To say that this was a formal event to announce my marriage to Jade was ironically funny.

When I had Richard alone, I knew which trump cards to pull with him. Richard hadn't foreseen his daughter's affair and in our world, it would become sensational news within days. He had to save face and I was his only option.

To form an alliance with me.

"Son, do you have any idea how bad this can turn out to be?"

"Yes." I didn't offer him any explanation. It was the only thing that I had left to conquer. It was all well within reason.

"Blake won't be tamed that easily. He's cutthroat and him being your father won't spare you from his wrath."

"I know." I smiled, triumphantly. "That's all I want."

                                     ***

Insomnia has plagued me. It was not pleasant. I was going to put a stop to it now. As the elevator moved upward toward the 30th floor, my eyes shut envisioning my wife. I remembered when I had uprooted her life when I finally allowed myself to see her again.

Within days, I had convinced her to marry me albeit blackmailing her into it, I still married her. Her dad was the most surprised when Astoria broke the news to him about our marriage.

I knew what he must be thinking. That the bastard wormed his way back into her life. All I cared about was for him to know that I called the shots in Astoria's life, not him. He. of all people, should be eternally indebted to me. If it was not for me, he wouldn't have found Astoria.

Let's just say, it was me who found him and gave him the permission to enter Astoria's life. I knew how miserable she was after her grandparents died, and after we supposedly broke up, she needed a little something to keep her mind occupied. So, I sent Wilson to Astoria.

Wilson wanted nothing to do with a bastard of his. He was a cruel little human who only cared about his money and his money was under my thumb. I had given him the opportunity to keep his business in exchange for Astoria' happiness.

So, I gave her a dad. The dad was supposed to be a temporary part in her life, but the little pest actually started caring for her, took aback her and started acting like an actual father.

Now that it pissed me off. So I had to make my presence known and he couldn't do anything to stop it. After all, I still had his money.

After our shotgun wedding, I had moved her back to Chicago and to my penthouse. At first, she didn't want to leave her ill father, but the father himself, with a little threat from my side, convinced her to move in with me.

Despite marrying her, I had still not touched her, consummated our marriage. If anything, I had left alone, on her own with security feed of the penthouse giving me her updates.

I was working relentless with my cousin, Ace, on the acquisitions of my father's company. With the majority shares now signed to me, I was the owner of my rightful ownership. My father could do nothing, but take a back seat and seethe.

My wife had continuously asked me to prove myself. To prove that I was worthy of her trust. It was time for her to show whether she can allow herself to trust me.

I recalled the fire in her eyes and smiled. I had missed watching her blue eyes blaze fire. It felt so poetic to drown myself in their vast ocean.

When the elevator doors opened right to my penthouse, I was met with silence. I pushed my carnal thoughts away and went to the bar to make myself a drink before seeing my wife.

The amber liquid burned my throat just the right way. I was at the end of my wits with Astoria. Too many games played, too many years apart, now I wanted us to have a clear start and if that meant to swallow my pride. so be it.

What if Astoria refused to listen? I felt a rush of anxiety sweeping through me. She could be adamant like anything, I knew her. No, she was a smart girl and I knew her heart still leapt for me. She would listen to my reasoning, understand me.

Exhaling, I allowed myself to find Astoria. I had told her to not wait up for me and that I would be home late. She should be in our suite which we rarely shared.

I heard soft footsteps in the living room and immediately became aware of Astoria' presence.

"Axel?" She called out. "Is that you?"

My chest tightened. I turned my head to see the vision of her ascending down the stairs. Wrapped in a cashmere robe, she stood still near the staircase.

The liquid eased my throat and calmed down my nerves as it disappeared in one swallow. I poured another glass and reached for my phone. I had unread messages from her. That explained why she was awake.

"Finally remembered you left a wife at home?"

I debated my response, but found myself relaxing a bit.

"I am not the one to complain, but I always thought husbands have duties towards their wives. And I barely see my husband, I completely forgot whether I still had one."

She walked closer to the living room, crossing her arms over her chest, she exhaled. "I bet you came here by mistake. It's still very early."

To my relief, her brazenness was tempting. "You didn't sleep yet?" I asked, incredulously. Trying to gouge her mood.

"I am still awake, no." Her reply, irritant. She was pissed.

"You're something else." I couldn't look away from her. I finished the drink and went to the seating area where she stood glaring down at me. Even when mad, she looked sexy.

"Not your little toy. Definitely not a trophy to show off." Her blue eyes pierced my heart.

"I am sorry," I told her. I know there must be hundreds of questions inside her head. Her ability to voice her displeasure to me is all the courage I needed to be honest with her.

"Where were you? Will that bit of information be kept a secret from your wife that you blackmailed to be with you?" She didn't back down from staring at me.

How I loved her so much.

"I was at a party. My parents kept it."

"You mean my in-laws that haven't yet met as your bride. Did you tell them you got married or was it kept a secret?"

I tried to maintain a calm expression and tone because Astoria was gradually losing control over hers.

"They will soon know." I told her, keeping my tone soft.

"How soon, a day, a month, a year or maybe a decade?"

"Sooner than you anticipate."

"Seriously, Axel? You're bullshitting me. You mean to tell me that you married me just so you could have me at your beck and call so that I could be available to you? Don't even try to deny it. I am your dirty little secret." Her voice rose exponentially with every word.

She paced about the living room, her chest heaving with each exaggerated breath. "Are you fucking someone behind my back?" She demanded. "It's Charlotte isn't it?"

"How have you already convicted me of the accusation?"

"Because its true. I read your emails. She wants to see you again tomorrow, doesn't she? You're going to go and give it to her nice and hard, won't you?"

I preferred having her close to me when her emotions unraveled. It gave me a chance to calm her down.

"You read my emails?" I asked, surprised.

She smiled, snidely. "Well, I am your wife. I have that much authority and right over you. Even if our marriage is only on the papers."

She sat back down, her breast heaving.

"Astoria." I kneeled down in front of her, seizing her shoulders. "I am sorry for making you feel this way. For the record, I am not cheating on you with anyone."

"You expect me to believe that shit? First, you barge into my life and blackmail me to marry you, then you uproot me to your grandiose penthouse and ignore me and you expect me to believe our marriage is anyway real when your own parents don't know about us."

She added,"Just tell me you're ashamed of me. Months after our marriage, you haven't slept in the same bed as me, you ignore me most of the time and refuse to even look at me."

"I am sorry." I touched her face to which she slapped it away.

"Keep your stupid sorry with you. Just go back to your party. Don't miss it for me. I don't need you in my life. It's better if we stay this way. I can find someone who will willingly sleep in the same bed as me while you're away."

I leaned closer, she avoided my stare, looking away. I was in her face so even if she wanted to avoid me, she wouldn't be able to.

"Careful, there. We don't want any issues between us, do we, now? A little absence from my side has made you forget your place. Before thinking about filling the empty space next to you, think about what will happen to your daddy dearest if he finds his daughter gone forever."

Even though her words stirred negative emotions through me, I fought to keep myself in control and reassured that the anger and frustration was a result of my actions. Astoria had every right to be angry at me.

Her blue eyes looked up at me from below her veiled lids. I enclasped our hands together, rubbing her thumb.

"You had asked proof of my loyalty when I had asked you to trust me, hadn't you?" I didn't want her reply, my cold hands were an answer enough to me. "I have never lied about loving you, even in our years separated, I kept a close eye on you. Do you think you magically came into contact with a good location for your school?" Her eyes widened. "Yes, baby. Work your thoughts. Everything you have, I gave it to you. I wanted you to achieve everything you wanted. And who do you think found that daddy dearest, baby?"

"You?" Disbelief washed over her.

"Correct, honey." I leaned down to kiss her supple lips softly. "You were mine even when you weren't with me. But I think the distance between us has made you forget that I am yours too, alone yours."

"Axel, wait. I need a minute."

I get it. The magnitude of information that I had sprouted on her was too much to take. My head was reeling too. I watched as Astoria' face turned pale. My fingers itched to touch her, shake away whatever thoughts that were going on in her head and remind her why nothing else mattered other than us.

"Do you need a drink?" I asked her, coaxing her out of her daze. She shook her head, not casting a glance my way.

She stood up. I held her upper arm, not letting her go. "Axel, please, I need to go back to bed." I held her chin and turned her to face me. Her blue eyes are glassy with the fire in them.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands and pulled her face to mine. "Astoria." It was the first time I sounded so vulnerable. "Look at me." I didn't like her staring through me. "Please."

When she didn't respond, I desperately pressed my lips to hers, the kiss was firm and chaste. I pulled away before pressing down again, lingering there until she responded back.

"Axel, stop."

Stumped. I asked. "Why?"

"I don't know." She tried to break free from my hold, but I held her firm. "Just leave me alone. If anything, give me a divorce from this sham of a marriage."

There's no question that I should do the sensible thing and leave a ship that refuses to sail. But the overwhelming pride won't let me ruin the only good thing in my life and that applies to her too.

"Divorce isn't an option for us. You know it." I am not angry or defeated. My tone is completely no nonsense.

"Yes, it is for us." Her chin trembled. "Can't you see how bad we are together. We just cannot be together anymore. It won't work in the long run. It's just a childhood obsession of yours that you can't let go."

"Fuck, thats not it." I laughed, humourlessly. "You forget why you are here. One little step out of line and your daddy will have everything taken from him."

"You don't see?" She violently shoved me away. "You cannot blackmail me into staying with you. There's no way you can actually get me to be with you willingly, admit it."

"And why is that?" My voice rose. "Answer me, why are you so fucking stuck up that you can't let yourself be happy, to give me a chance? Do you think there was any way I could have managed to keep you back in high school without a penny to my name? We would have a target on our backs."

"So, now we don't?" She yelled. "What have you even done for me, Axel?"

"Everything. I fought with everyone for you. Everything you see around, I got it from my own money, not my dads. It took me time to get to this point where I can actually give you a life you deserve."

"Yeah, right. That's why you so conveniently agreed to arrange marriage, didn't you?"

I took her neck lightly. "It was in the past. I was never given a chance to explain it because in your head I was already the culprit. Your conclusion overrides everything, doesn't it?"

"Just admit it that you're a coward who couldn't stand for himself."

I flexed my fingers on her neck, the pulse pumping rapidly. If I let my anger consume me, it would result in very ugly fucking. But the overwhelming emotion I felt was defeat. Everything I would do will just end up being nullified. It has become our pattern. The push, push, push until one of us actually pulled awayz

I hand faltered around her neck, and my heart squeezed. I was trying to revive an already dead relationship. It was all for nothing if we never found our way back to each other. I can't live with the hate anymore.

"Fine, I am a coward, but you're no better. Your pride won't let you forgive me. You're a coward for not giving us a chance. You know it."

I turned around to leave. There was no point in salvaging if Astoria herself didn't want us to be together.

"You can go back if you want." I told her while leaving.

Angry footsteps followed me. "Okay, now you're sending me away like a goddamn doll."

"No, I am giving you an option, take it."

"How dare you."

I was stopped by a livid Astoria blocking my path. "How dare you barge into my life, then demand to marry you only to be kept at an arm's distance and hidden from the world and how dare you call me a coward when I would have done anything for you. How dare you to assume that you can just get rid of me so easily and how fucking dare you for leaving me in the first place."

I saw it coming. The sharp sting on my cheek. I saw it coming from a mile away. I welcomed it because I deserved it. I had put her through hell. A slap wouldn't daint my ego. If anything, my ego was fucking flaring in triumph.

When the other slap came, I clasped her wrist turning it behind her back.

"Now. you're going to stand here doing nothing or will just fuck me already."

"Why should I fuck you?"

"Because I am your wife." Fire blazed through her. "You will do what I say. You took a vow that day in church."

"You took one too." I spinned her around and pushed her front to the nearest wall. "Do you remember your vow, toots?"

"Yeah." Her voice lowered when my hands roamed over her body. "I know my promise."

"You're not honoring it well. You expect a divorce? Pray for my early death if you want a divorce because there's no way you're getting rid of me."

                                      ***

Two years later...

She cried out, her head fell back on my shoulder. It gave me perfect access to her neck, my mouth tasting her skin.

I wasn't sure why we had fought, but the makeup sex after the fight was always worth it. Astoria had found me asleep in our bedroom and had seized the perfect opportunity of taking advantage of me.

It was the best way to wake up. I rocked my hips against her one last time before we both collapsed on the bed, heaving.

I gave her time to rest before I yanked her ass in the air. I had to be careful with her, but no one said I couldn't be rough with her. I locked a hand around her nape and the other on her hip before proceeding to pound the shit out of her. She all did was whimper and sniffle as went at her.

It was early on in our marriage when I found out that this bitch could be brought down to multiple orgasms. Especially when she was pregnant with our first born.

"Axel, please," she sniveled but continued to enjoy my assault on her. I closed my eyes as I felt adrenaline pumping into my veins as I pumped her body with my seed.

I pulled her upright so her back faced my chest. I caressed her belly, keeping my palm over our growing son. She turned her neck to the side and met my lips. We kissed over her shoulder.

My tongue explored her mouth with aching slowness that I knew would drive her crazy. Her breathing was ragged when I pulled away. I stared at her for a long time until she flushed even more. I cupped her breast with tenderness as it had grown sensitive due to carrying my son.

I kissed her with such raptness, she started trembling. A low noise left from the back of my throat as I stroked her back.

Had anyone told me that my life would turn out to be this good then I would've told them you're damn right, sir. Each and every event that led to this conclusion was my doing.

I admit, there was a time when I truly felt hopeless about my life was soon fogged out. It was inevitable that I claimed the things that belonged to me. My inheritance, my birthright and my toots.

It took me a lot of coaxing and a hell lot of patience to get Astoria where she was today. This couldn't have happened without Jade' help. She had nicely explained our facade of an engagement to Astoria and that it was our plan along to break it off.

She was unconvinced at first but after meeting Jade' partner, she became a little trusting. I had introduced her to my world shortly after meeting Jade. I didn't want her to have any inhibitions or doubts about us.

Everyone knew her as my wife. Her name didn't matter as long as she was Mrs. Axel Trent. With her father's wealth to her name, she was never considered an outsider. As for her father, we had called it a truce. I had proposed that we both loved Astoria so it wouldn't be fair to her if both of us held grudges for each. Wilson had reluctantly agreed to it. Well, he had to or else it wouldn't have taken me a second to make him an afterthought.

I knew the best way to tie someone down was to give them a chore. That's what I did for Astoria. A little tampering with her birth control pills here and there resulted in our first born daughter, Stella.

She was the most beautiful baby to ever be born. Exactly like her mother and cursed with my temper. She was the perfect blend of us. Spoiled rotten by everyone around us. Even mom.

It had taken mom some time to come around Astoria's new role in our family. She had no choice though. If she wanted to be around her grandchildren then she would have to respect their mother. After the mother does the hardest work.

As for my father, our relationship was broken. After I had pushed him out of his own company, he never recovered from the blow.

"I always knew you were capable of overpowering me. I wish I had done something about it." It was his last statement to me since we ceased all communication.

He had not seen his grandchildren yet. I didn't care for it. Even though it stung, I had to be indifferent to it. After all, all he never gave me was tough love and that's the last thing I want for my kids.

I risked everything to get this life. There was no way I would let anyone ruin it.

"Axel." Astoria shook my shoulders. "Get off me. I have work to do." I let her push me off her. She donned a gown around her naked body and tied her hair up.

"You're going to stay at home helping me with the party." It was a statement not a request.

"It's just a birthday party for a one year old. How tough could it be?"

"Oh, mister, you have no idea what you're talking about." She laughed without amusement. "I mean it, if you don't help around today, you and I are so done."

In an instant, I had her on her back. Her blue eyes stared back at me with mischief in them.

"You mean it."

"Yeah, I mean it."

"So, who's getting the kids, then?"

"Of course, you. You make the big dollars." She slung her arms around my shoulder.

"But I will need a nanny to take care of my kids when I am busy teaching their mother a well deserved lesson." I kissed her neck.

"What will that lesson include?" She asked, still giggling.

"To never leave my side." Our gazes locked. So much love and devotion reflected in her eyes. How could I not love her like a madman? "I love you."

"I love you more," she said, kissing me and we went at each other for round three.

                                        ***

Every muscle in my body tensed. Blood rushed through my veins and echoed in my ears; the reverberating sound kept beat as red fury began to overtake my vision.

"You told me she was not a threat." I turned towards the bearer of the news. "What the hell is this?" I threw away the images.

"Don't take your anger out of the fucking evidence. You should thank me for getting the news." Ares inhaled deeply, puffing a smoke. "I have a family too."

"You should be the one to receive the brunt of the events, not me."

"Was I the one who helped Chase bang her down? It was you. Had you told me when it happened for the first time then this could have been easily avoided."

This was a damn nightmare. I ran my fingers through my hair, needing a damn smoke for myself. We were still at a private airstrip, inside the car.

"Now, what do we do?" I asked.

"We find Chase. He's the key to end it all."

"And how do you think his ex-girlfriend is going to take the news of his rendezvous with your psychotic sister?"

"Don't bring Charlotte into this."

"Okay, then, let's bring the baby she's carrying that definitely belongs to our friend."

"We don't know that for sure."

"Whatever, but if I am going down, you'll go down with me, Ares. I promise."

                               ***

now the chapter is closed and done and now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us