Playlist - I'll never love again by Lady Gaga

Astoria

I had a bad feeling festering inside my head. It had everything to do with Charlotte Richards who stood in front of me with almost mechanical precision.

"Hi, Astoria." Her golden eyes were wide and lacked light in them.

My lips were sealed shut. I took in her appearance which oddly reminded me of my own. Her light brown hair were dyed black which replicated mine and her light blue cardigan and overalls looked like something that would belong in my closet. Definitely not hers.

I knew Charlotte would never dress down and even attempt to look unsophisticated. Let alone have everyone see her in that manner. She had her own baggage to carry.

I moved back which she noticed, a smirk drawing on her lips. It unnerved me. She had never attempted to put me at ease before, but something about her was disturbing. I felt the need to be as far away from her as possible.

"Oh, not so fast."

I heard her say it when I evaded her and got out of the coffee shop. I had parked my bike outside the shop, but it wasn't there anymore.

"Searching for your ride?" I turned to face Charlotte.

"Is this your doing?" I asked her, frustrated.

"I did?" She feigned being appalled. "How rude of you to think I would do something to your bike. It was a limited edition electric bike, wasn't it? An expensive model which you certainly can't afford. I wonder how you got it?" She pouted.

"Charlotte, what's wrong with you?" I demanded, straightening my back. I couldn't let her believe that she was getting on my nerves. "I shouldn't be a thought in your head. Why are you here?"

The hardening of her eyesight told me what I needed to know.

"You." She pointed an accusatory finger at me. "I hate you." I flinched at the harsh, vehemently worded tone of hers. "I hate you so much. So much that I want to drown you in a river."

She meant every single word of hers. Her eyes held enough conviction that if given the opportunity, she would indeed harm my life.

My feets worked on their accord. I heard Charlotte call my name out, but I could only focus on getting away from her. I was sprinting out on the pavement. Either I was too slow or she was fast because she got the hold of hair and when she did, I was thrown on the ground.

"You spoiled everything the day you came here." I didn't realize that she slapped me until I felt the razor like sharp sting on my cheek. I tasted the metallic liquid in my mouth at the impact.

Anger welled up inside me. I knew she was unwell, but I couldn't let her abuse me. The next time, I saw the slap coming at me and quickly rolled her on her back, restraining her wrist.

"Let go." She screamed in my face. "You bitch. I hate you."

"Why do you hate me?" I screamed back. "Does it have to do with Axel?"

"Don't take his name from your mouth." She clenched her teeth. "He's mine. Not yours. My man."

"Keep him for all I care. He and I are done."

"Stop lying to me. I am not stupid enough—"

I clamped her mouth shut, "It's the truth. We are done. Get it through your thick head. If you want to hate someone then Axel for stringing you along and leaving you in a hitch."

She said incoherent words which I didn't care to understand. She bit my hand which made me pull it away.

"He left me because you. It's always you. I hate that it was always you for him and never me."

"That's bullshit. He's engaged now and definitely not mine."

"Oh, please. Sofia." she scoffed. "Likes scissoring more than anything. I should know well enough."

"Who's Sofia?"

"Are you a fucking dummy? Who else could she be then Axel' supposedly fiancée."

What? Axel's fiancée was into girls? I felt a jerk to my feet, numbing my moments. It gave Charlotte the perfect opportunity to turn the tables around and get me in a chokehold.

"He loves you so much that he has convinced Sofia to agree to his suicide mission. You're ruining his life too. And you have the audacity to lie to me? How naive of you."

I couldn't breathe. Charlotte' revelation had a lot to do with it rather than her choking me. I thought she would take the life out of me, but in the midst of my near death experience, an angel pulled away a screaming and crying Charlotte.

At least I thought it was an angel, but I came face to face with Ares Torrance. His green eyes were troubled and in a haste. He handed me a business card and mumbled an apology and no quicker threw Charlotte in the backseat of his car.

"I am willing to compensate for all the damages my sister has caused you. Just call me on my cell."

With that he drove away, and I fell back on the ground, finally breathing air into my lungs.

                                          ***
I turned away from the mirror, hating how I looked, spotting a bruise the size of a lemon on my face and the reddened lines around my neck. That bitch really got me good. She was mentally unwell, I could understand that.

What perplexed me whether her words held any semblance of truth or was complete utter nonsense?

She had reveals that Axel' fiancée was into girls and had agreed to Axel's 'suicide mission' much to Charlotte' dismay. She also claimed that I was ruining his life.

My head hurt thinking about it over and over. I was already in a lot of pain and the overthinking was adding up the stress.

I went to lie down on my bed and pulled up the sheets to my chin. I recalled my conversation with Luna after Charlotte showed up at her door with the intent to harm her. It was startling to think that she could've really harmed me and Luna on the same day.

Her brother, Ares, was there to save the day. From the intel I had gathered, Charlotte will be undergoing treatment at a psychiatric facility. Luna had mentioned Axel was present too with Ares.

It was no surprise to me by now that both Charlotte and Axel shared a close bond. At some point, I wondered whether there were more than platonic feelings from Axel's side for Charlotte. I never really gave the thought any chance to spread its roots in my head.

The only reason I couldn't fall asleep and kept tossing and turning in bed was because Charlotte' revelation still loomed in my head. I wanted to get answers to put myself at ease but that seemed impossible as the next day and the day after it, Axel wasn't there. He hadn't come home yet.

I had found out from Luna that he was with Ares in the city. Probably to offer him moral support and keep an eye on both his friends.

I was restlessly waiting for him to return. With the anticipation of Axel's return, I had forgotten that my time in the cottage was limited. My aunt had starkly reminded me that I was to be moved to a different place until I graduated high school. She and Uncle had accepted Ava's offer of taking over grandma and grandpa's old responsibilities on the condition that I had to be removed from the premises.

So much of an aunt and uncle they were, I bitterly thought. To accompany me, they had given Winter the responsibility to stay with me in my new condo.

I visited the place with Winter yesterday. It was a decent place, nothing fancy and too impersonal. It was deprived of joy, just plain white space. I had accepted my fate to live here. At least this way, I could try to get rid of all the negative energy within me and focus on my future.

The future was painfully near and uncertain. I had still not applied for any colleges. I don't know how much I could pay for my tuition, but Mr. Blake had assured me that he would be generous with the money he'll give me.

To add insult to injury, our school had a planned trip to visit state colleges this semester to get the students to decide on where they should go. I inwardly hated going on the trip, but it couldn't be helped. I had to grow up and take charge of my life.

It would start by getting rid of the obstacles posing threat to my wellbeing.

I was packing up the last miscellaneous things in my suitcase, when I heard a knock on my door.

"So it is true."

I turned to find Axel leaning against the doorframe, crossed hands, dressed in a pullover and dark fitted jeans. He had a nonchalant calmness about him. He looked hot with his unstyled wavy hair and small smile curled around his lips. He was everything a girl could ever want in her man.

I hated myself for concentrating so much on his beauty that I forgot how cruel he has been with me. I vividly remembered the time when he first came to my room with a guilty frowny face and had begged me to forgive him.

In retrospect, he was a misunderstood bully who later transformed into my best friend and lover at a given point. Love could never be lost within us. Even though I felt a thousand miles apart from him, our closeness still prevailed.

"You're leaving." He sounded accusatory.

I nodded, finally finding words. "At last I am leaving."

"Why?" The simple word was demanding and spoken in a way that made me shudder.

"This is how life is, Rich Boy. I wasn't born to a millionaire father who would pamper me all my life and give me everything I want from life. My life is tough and mean."

"And what if you were born to a millionaire father who would give you everything you wanted from life?"

I chuckled. "Don't worry about me. I've been living my life fine until..."

"Until, what, Astoria?" He looked like a hunter, leaning nonchalantly against the door jamb. He pushed himself off the frame and like a wolf, stalked over to me and stopped just a few steps away from me.

"Until I met you," I said, solemnly. "It changed my life."

"So now you've decided to run away," he stated.

"Run? Be serious, Axel. I am not welcome anywhere near the premise of the estate, and I know my place well enough by now." You definitely made no mistake in making me realize where my place was. I wanted to tell him out loud, but kept my mouth closed.

The suggestive blue glimmer in his eyes told me he was trying very hard to keep his cool intact.

There were a lot of things that were left unsaid between us. So much I wanted him to tell me and so much I will never get the chance to tell him.

Taking me by surprise, Axel laughed, scathingly. "You're so goddamn stubborn. Have I ever told you how gorgeous you look when you get mad at me?"

My pulse quickened. I am sure my cheeks were red by now.

"Enough with those doe eyes. It's nothing you don't already know." Suddenly, he got in my personal space. "I have never known anyone like you." He leaned over me, intimidating me with his height and tantalizingly blue eyes. "Promise me one thing."

"What?" I kept my spine straight, trying not to be wavered by his closeness.

"Don't fall in love with anyone who's not me."

I remember his words loud and clear. I still do think about that day in my room. It was the last thing he said to me. I hated how we never came around ever again. At school, we were practically strangers. I barely saw him.

At graduation, it was too hard for me to realize it was probably the last time I would be near Axel, breathe the same air as him and the last time I would ever see him. My heart threatened to explode with the amount of heartache it had endured.

I know I never agreed to his promised that day in my room, but I was sure I would never love anyone like him again.

                               ***

all that's left is the epilogue.
don't curse me. this not the end of axel and astoria. epilogue is left and will explain everything