Playlist - My tears ricochet by Taylor Swift

Astoria

My heart was numb and unmoving, I didn't want it to shatter into pieces. It was a spur-of-a-moment decision to make an impromptu trip back home. I had intended to gate crash to the ball which was held in one of the luxurious hotels owned by Axel's family.

Everything went down the drain when grandma called me, frantic. The phone that I had clutched tightly fell from my hands and I lost the ability to breathe properly. I was glad that I was sitting down, because I am not sure if my legs were strong enough to keep me standing.

Winter alarmed, shook my shoulders, demanding that I speak. I just couldn't anymore. And after that everything went as blur. The only time I felt painfully alive was when I saw grandma inconsolable next to grandpa' dead body.

As if the realization had finally set in, I wailed. Uncontrollably and uncaring of how insane I appeared. My heart was too heavy and restless. I don't know long I cried or what happened after that.

My state of mind was not in my control. Sheer rage jolted in my bones. Why, why would this happen to me? Grandpa was the only father figure I had known my entire life and now he was no more. How could I stay in a world without him?

An overwhelming sense of guilt incapacitated my ability to think. It was all happening so fast. I had spent the end of his days away digging through dirt and whatnot. It crucified me to think how alone he might've felt when I hung on our last phone call. I was too caught in my own misery to care about him and I don't know if I could be the same anymore.

I buried my head in my grandma's neck. It was the only comfort I could feel in that moment. I stilled when grandma became increasingly cold. "Mama, mama, snap out of it." I shook her slightly a couple of time but she remained still.

I looked at Winter, "She's not moving, winny." My lips quivered. "She's not moving. Make her move."

Winter came by side to check on grandma's pulse. "Her pulse rate is dropping. She must've gone in a shock."

I scrambled to dial 911 to get help. But as the minutes ticked by and alarming, gut wrenching feeling assaulted me. It was thickly laced with an impending storm.

I knew I would never be the same anymore. Both of my grandparents had left me alone. I was on my own.

***
Axel

It was astounding how a turn in events can alter your entire life. It changed everything I thought I knew. It was night of the debutante ball when my mother received the news of the death of our staff.

Astoria's grandparents.

I didn't want to waste in order to get them help, but I knew my dad wouldn't allow it so I sought Ace for help. He was a charming manipulator and could easily get my dad to do whatever he wanted and no sooner, the party was regrettably cancelled and I was straight to rush to their cottage.

I barged in to find an inconsolable Astoria holding onto her grandma's frail body. She wasn't aware of anything going on around. She didn't realize when I pulled her body in hold and she sobbed. She was oblivious when her grandparents were taken by medics. It was just happened and I couldn't do anything to ease her pain.

My own eyes numbed at the unfolding of events. The trick that the universe had played on her was downright cruel and terrifying. She had no one left with her. From the things she had divulged about her parents, her mom was dead and her father was as good as dead.

She was completely devastated and needed someone to be by her side. She cried in the graveyard on the day of the funeral. She couldn't let go of them. Even after the burial ceremony, despite Winter's protest and her Uncle and Aunt's request' she wouldn't leave their tombstones.

"Get away from me. Just go," she screamed in between sobs. "Leave me alone."

Winter crouched down enough to cradle Astoria's face. Her own eyes were bloodshot. "Honey, let's not do this. We have to leave."

"I said I'm not going anywhere, what language do I need to explain to you." She slapped Winter's hands away.

Winter was beginning to plead her case when I interjected. "I'll bring her home. Go."

Her sharp green eyes slithered at me. "I didn't ask for your help. You need to stay away from my cousin."

Like hell I will. She was mine. And if Winter wanted to try her hand at keeping me away then she's most welcome to do so.

"Winter, dear, its not the time or the place to pick up a fight." Her sensible aunt was the voice of reason.

"No, aunty. You don't know what he's capable-"

"Enough now." I stepped close enough to invade her personal place. "Make one more scene and I swear it won't be me who'll come to discipline you." My tone was arctic. I tried my best to sound the least bit non-threatening, but this woman was starting to get on my nerves.

Last night, when I tried to take Astoria with me. She denied me to even enter the cottage which mind you, was built on my property and belonged to me. I had let that slide, but not anymore.

"Now, leave before I put you in one of the coffins."

She glared, backing a few steps away. "I know your intimidation tactic. I am well versed with that cousin of yours so don't try the stunts on me."

"Winter, just go." It was the small mewl from Astoria that pulled Winter's attention. Dejected, she backed off.

The girl was tough, but not enough.

Not without throwing me one last glare, she left with her family. It was just me and Astoria alone in the symmetry.

Astoria laid her head on her grandmother's grave, her sobs gradually fading until I was sure that she had fallen asleep. I was beside her, raking my fingers through her hair and wiping her tear stricken face. Her face had turned red, especially her nose.

Her condition was fragile and the only thought surfacing in head was to keep her by side. Now that her grandparents were out of the picture, my parents will have her moved out of the cottage and out of my life.

I couldn't let that happen. The distance between us had to be seized and I would do anything to keep her with me.

***
"Where are you taking me?" she asked her when I slid into the driver's seat.

I looked at her tired face, the strain of the events had dimmed the light in her blue eyes. I glanced at her soft and small face that reflected agony.

"Isn't it obvious," I told her as I reached to tighten ger seat belt. It was just an excuse to get in her face and touch her body.

We bother stilled at our nearness. Astoria stopped breathing when her mouths were just inches apart. I could've just taken her lips into mine, but my resolve wouldn't let me take advantage of her. At least not this soon.

The wound was still fresh and burning. It was too soon to even touch her, but I'd taken my chances. When I pulled away, Astoria's chest finally expanded. I didn't miss the slight disappointment that shone in her blue gemstones eyes at the distance between us.

"Your father wants to speak to me. I know what he'll be saying. I am just not ready for it."

"You don't need to be afraid of anything. I have taken care of everything." I roved the engine of the car and we were off in the dark streets.

"What do you mean?" Her dainty hand touched my forearm. "Axel, what did you take care of?"

"You're not going anywhere, if that's what you're afraid of. In fact, you'll staying on our property and will continue with school until graduation." It took willpower to not lay down my blueprints for her future. It was best kept with me. I didn't want to risk scaring her away.

"No, Axel." She suddenly sounded distressed. "W-Why did you do it?"

"I did what I had to do."  I wouldn't have stood and watched walk away from my life the second time. It had left with a broken heart the last time.

I laced my fingers through her soft ones. They felt delicate in mine.

"Axel, undo what you did." She jerked her hand away. "I don't need to be a charity case for your family."

The corner of my head tilted upwards. "You're not a charity case, Astoria. Far from it. Your education was already sponsored by my parents so what's the harm in continuing it?"

She tensed and stiffened in the seat.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked her, in a gentle tone.

"Why would I?"

So not a firm denial. "Hmm. Okay."

"Why are you being so suspicious of me?" She said, annoyed. "Just don't talk to me."

"Hmm."

"I swear to god if you bloody hmm again I'll throw you out."

"Astoria." My voice hardened. "Don't get your panties twisted."

I heard a low whatever being grumbled. She leaned back into her seat and laid her head on the window.

The ride to my parents' apartment was long and silent. I had initially planned on taking her back to the cottage, but the thought of Astoria's bad tempered sister came to my head. It was for the better to keep Astoria away from them.

Astoria was fast asleep and didn't wake the entire trip to the penthouse given that the elevator took my car directly to the floor. I carried a feather light body into the penthouse house, all the way to my bedroom. I laid her down of my bed and for a moment I just got my fill of her.

It was agony to be this close to her and not touch her. She looked too innocent and trusting curled in my bed. Her dark long lashes fanned her cheeks. I felt a sting of something akin to jealousy at the thought of those lashes being able to touch her when I couldn't.

I moved away from the bed and raked my fingers through my hair. I couldn't be my asshole self now. It just couldn't happen. The thoughts of taking her virginal cunt flowed inside depraved head. I couldn't do it right now. Not when she was mourning the death of her grandparents. It was too cruel.

With the willpower I didn't know I possessed, I left my room to give her space and decided to get into the jacuzzi to heal my depraved thoughts and emotions.

***
Astoria

I woke up startled. Sweat gathered on my forehead, neck. It was a nightmare that woke me up. I don't remember what it was, but it was terrifying enough to me.

My eyes adjusted to the darkened room. I searched for my glasses on the bed and didn't find them, then I noticed there was a nightstand next to me with my glasses and an Advil on it with juice.

I took the Advil then wore my glasses to assess the unfamiliar bedroom I was inside. I thought Axel would take me back to the cottage, but he hadn't. I searched for light switches and finally found one.

The dim light poured in the room. I got out of bed in search for washroom. The moment I splashed cold water on my face, I exhaled deeply. The exhaustion of everything had swept inside my pores making me feel the weight of it.

The emotional hell that I'd been living in was continuously stabbing me. The smell of death permeated my black funeral dress, digging a grave in my flesh.

I unzipped the material and got rid of the dress from my body. The material pooled around my feet, I kicked it to the side. Left in nothing but my cotton panties and bra, I got rid of them too and donned the plush bathrobe I found inside the bathroom.

My head demanded to set the hell free. I needed a distraction tonight. It was just too much being in my own head. I wanted to get out.

***
I felt the anticipation rush through my veins. I was hell bent on a distraction and what better than to go to Axel. If he could use me countless times emotionally, then what was the harm in using him, just this once.

If he thought that I had no clue of his engagement plans then he was in for a surprise. But I wouldn't tell him anything; unless he revealed it himself.

I went outside the room in search of my bully.

Soft breeze hit my face, I followed the path of the breeze and came to a halt. The door of the balcony was left afar. It was blackened glass, but I could clearly see the large jacuzzi pool and none other than Axel lounging inside it.

He hadn't seen me yet. His head was tilted back. The slight moment of the balcony door opening caught his attention.

My heart swelled when his tantalizing blue eyes assessed me. I could lose myself in those eyes for tonight. His eyebrow arched in a challenge of and itself. 

The rakish tilt of his lips promised me unknown knowledge that only a man like him would possess. Being an athlete and spending hours at the gym had shaped his body to perfection. I wonder whether all the boys of his age were like this.

He said nothing and neither did I. He knew why I was here. I made it more obvious for him when untied the robe from my body and let it fall on the ground.

I didn't miss the way his eyes hungrily lapped at my naked body.

I stepped inside the hot water, and submerged myself until I was eye to eye with Axel. I went to him only with one intention in my head. Before I could take his face in my hands, Axel curled his fingers around my upper arm stopping me from getting closer to him.

"Stop it. I know what you're doing and believe me, it'll only make you feel like shit afterwards."

"Why does it matter to you. I want this and I know you do too." I inched closer to him until I reached his face. "Don't you want me?" My lips found his neck. I kissed the length of its until I could tease the sensitive whorls of his ear with my tongue.

His chuckle was low and sexy. It intensified the erotic spark that I had been feeling in my stomach. I had to tempt him into erotic madness.