follow my backup - comicthinker

Playlist - Without Me by Eminem

a month later

Axel

"Why are you scowling?" My mom's pillowy fingertips traced my face. "Honey, you know, this is what you and your father both agreed on, isn't it?"

Thanks for the fucking reminder, mom.

Mom held my chin and made me stare into her eyes that mirrored my own. "I know you won't believe me, but your father cares about you a lot. His every waking thought has to do with you. All he wants to see is for you to carry his legacy, Axel."

She dropped her hold and went to stir sugar in her English tea. "This was supposed to happen eventually, Axel. It'll be easier if you cement it now, then worry about it later."

I remained silent and went back to my thoughts. The papers that dad made sign held a clause that said if I don't choose a bride from my father's approved list of candidates, I would not only lose my inheritance, but even the trust fund that my granddad had left for me.

That was my dad's way to put a leash on me.

To end this charade, I kept with my part of the deal and even showed up to meet with a girl that was flaunted to my face last week at a party. Now, we were having an official dinner with Richard Chamberlain and his family. His daughter Jade was one of the potential contenders short listed by my mother.

Fine, I'll play the role of the perfect suitor, but it'll come with consequences.

"Here, they are." My mom played the role of a charming host like a pro. She stood, her channel pantsuit making her appear like a royalty.

I stood, placing my hands in my pockets. I didn't bother with a smile, just shook hands with Richard and nodded at his wife. Jade had worn a slik red dress appearing rather uncomfortable in it. She must enjoy being forced to wear it. From what I'd heard, she was my age and studied in an all girls catholic school, sheltered and innocent.

Fuck, she wasn't even able to meet my eyes. They intentionally avoided mine. Like this was the last place she wanted to be. Well, me too. We sat there for awhile, until Richard suggested the kids should spend some time alone. Oh, isn't that convenient for you? What sick bastard to let his daughter be alone with someone with a bad reputation.

I saw Jade shift nervously in her seat. I extended my hand, like a perfect gentleman for her to take. She placed her cold palm on mine, and we made our way to the more intimate area of the restaurant. The staff had set up a romantic candle light table on the terrace in the private dining.

I sunk back on the chair, and assess the situation. It was cold and she didn't have a jacket on and it was an asshole move from me to not offer her my jacket. It was better if she knew that I wasn't the charming prince she had expected.

"Hi." She surprised me with her soft, meekly voice. "I am jade." For the first time, she met my face and braved meeting my eyes even if it was for mere moment.

I focused on her. She was a delicate looking girl who had dressed to look like a woman. Her blonde hair was styled in a perfect updo that flaunted her long pale neck, small face with red lipstick. Her features were soft. She appeared like the pretty girl next door.

I was curious about her. Finally, I replied to her,"Hey."

"I don't want to marry you," she said abruptly. Her voice sounded strong. For some reason, it amused me quite a lot. "Why are you smiling?"

I grinned, wickedly.

My lack of reply prompted her to narrow her eyes at me. "Mr. Trent, it's not polite to ignore your company."

I shrugged, placing a hand on my lips. She sighed frustrated and I loved every minute of it. When she couldn't take in any longer, she blurted out, something unexpected.

"I am in love with someone else." Now, that made me chuckle. My grin widened and suddenly, I found this girl interesting.

"Now, answer me this, how does a girl who's surrounded by nuns and girls fall in love with someone? Unless, it wasn't a boy you fell in love with?"

Her blue eyes drifted down, confirming my premise.

"It's true, isn't it?" I prodded.

"Yes, it is," she whispered, reluctantly.

"And what do you want from me?"

"I want you to say no to this arrangement."

I shook my head and smirked, leaning back on the chair. "I'm afraid I cannot do that. If you want to end this, then you do."

"B-but... I don't want to marry you."

"Neither do I, princess. It's something we are both bound to obey."

"It's unfair. You don't know what it's like to love someone and not be with them. The thought of this arrangement is killing me."

"You don't know me well enough to start assuming shit about me." I didn't let my grin waver, but my tone hardened.

She panicked, momentarily, but was able to mask it.

The waitress served us the entree and we ate in silence. I was intently watching her every move and she averted my gaze for most of the part. Who would have guessed that I'd have an unwilling bride on my hand.

The only bride I'd envisioned was Astoria and that image served as the painful reminder that she was out of my reach and I was left with her memories.

Focusing on business, I broke the silence in permeating the air. "I have a proposition for you."

She looked at me confused,"What kind of proposition?"

"Neither of us wants to marry each and if you don't marry me, then your dad will marry you off an old prick." Before she could say anything, I continued. "How do I know? Well, believe me, when I say, I am your perfect chance in getting out of this arrangement. I have studied your dad's financial state and it's not looking good for him, a couple of years and he's over so my dad is the best chance for him at redemption so he'll be mad pissed if this doesn't work out." I gestured between us. "What we can do is keep our parents off our backs by agreeing to this arrangement."

She considered my words and after a beat she said,"How long can we stall them?"

"As long as we wish." I'll get my inheritance in check. "If by then, you grow the courage to speak for yourself then, you can back out this engagement."

She looked hopeful. "But we'll need to have an engagement, right? At your debutante party."

"That's how the tradition works." I detected worry in her body language by her constant fidgeting of her necklace. "That's a gift from your girlfriend?"

She nodded, withdrawing her hand.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing," she blurted out. "I am not afraid."

"You know what to do now. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes, we do."

***

Ace had invited me to dinner at his Chicago apartment. He was close to turning twenty-four and still hadn't decided on a wedding date with Sophia, his fiancé. Today's dinner included his family and I, plus Sophia. Perfect. Ace' mom was my father's older sister and the sweetest person anyone could ever meet. It astounds me how someone like her can give birth to a son like Ace.

I still don't understand how he's still engaged to Sofia. They're the definition of incompatible. If they ever make it to a wedding, then God bless Sofia. To put up with an asshole like my cousin will be his lifelong task. Not to mention, what a womanizer he is.

His housemaid welcomes me and I stroll inside his apartment. I smile when I spot my little cousins. James and Gemma, both ten and my favorite troublemakers.

"Axel!" They both rushed towards me and I engulfed them in a hug.

"We missed you so much," James tells and his sister joins him. "Yes, we did."

"Really?" They both nod with a serious expression on their face. "Did you miss me more than Ace?"

"Yes, you're my favorite." Gemma wraps her arms around me.

What can I do, the kids love the better brother, obviously. I made a mental note to mention these details to Ace later. I send the kids off after sharing a few kisses and tickles.

Aunt Mary kisses my cheeks and informs me that dinner will be served in fifteen minutes. I drop my overcoat on the nearby surface and head to the balcony where Sofia is. She's in a grim mood, but that's how I have always seen her.

"It's freezing out here." I place my hands on the marble banister facing inside of the house. "And you're quiet."

Sofia is in her yellow rib knit dress, hair tied into a ponytail. She's pretty considering Ace' standard of women, but awfully meek.

"He's called you to humiliate you again?" I ask her. Sofia licks her lips and glances my way. Her brown eyes are reluctant to express the emotions that's dwindling inside her.

She should be fuming at Ace, threatening to break off their engagement, but says nothing. She doesn't react at all.

"Don't speak on matters that concern you, Axel." I nod, but don't retort.

"He has decided on a wedding date." She whispered. "Something good came out of it."

I honestly feel bad for the girl, but she dug her grave already and now she'll have to lay onto it knowing he'll always remain unfaithful to her.

"He has something for you. I saw it on his reminders. It has Astoria written on it."

That gets my attention. To hear that name from her mouth sounds almost foreign, but I let the memories attached to the name evade my thoughts.

"You keep me updated on what he has planned and I'll give you his weakness."

"No need. I am doing charity for you. I already know his weakness."

"That's the most words you've spoken till now."

"Yes, because of Astoria."

Something ticked me off. It was the way Sofia said her name. I didn't like it one bit.

"Feeling fucking comfortable to say her name?" My tone sounded threatening, I had intended it to. I look across the room and there's no one in plain sight. I inch closer to Sofia and she steps back on impulse. Within moments, I have her trapped under me with her back to the banister. If anyone sees us together like this, it would look like I am trying to scare her, intimidate her. I am trying to do anything, I am threatening her and for what? Even to my head, it sounds ridiculous that I am threatening my future sister-in law for uttering my girl' name the wrong way.

"My benevolence has its limit, Ms. Chambers." Sofia pales. "Unless you don't tell me what you meant by your words, I am afraid I can do very bad things to you."

I clench her nape, forcing to look into my eyes.

"She must have a golden pussy for you to act like this. If it matters, I know Astoria's cousin is what your brother wants but can't get his hands on."

"And," I prod.

"And..." she plays with words before saying,"and nothing."

I clench her nape enough to make her wince in pain. "If I find there was something after that and, then you pray that it's my brother not me that will show you your place.

***

Astoria

I told myself I should get used to this, at least for the next six months, but I couldn't do it. Winter saw how disconnected I was and told me to pack my bags and go back to Chicago, but I couldn't leave her alone.

Winter told me self-scarifying behavior wouldn't do me any good and I believed her. Still, after two months I was not used to my new reality. I talked with my grandparents almost daily. I missed them terribly. Winter told me that I was missing someone other than my grandparents. I believed that too.

Shoveling the soil, I took great care in fertilizing the land. We have to sell the farm land as soon as possible and the only way my Uncle can earn money from it would be if the land produced an adequate amount of crops.

The land was completely tarnished when we first arrived here. It was because of the hurricane. Uncle couldn't afford to hire people to repair his land so it was left to me and my few cousins who were doing the work.

I hated how things ended with Axel. I hated how he hadn't called me. I also hated the circumstances that had drifted me away from my home. I hated my life sometimes, most of the time. It was unfair how some people get everything they wish for, but I can't even get peace of mind.

"Stop daydreaming and work." One of my male cousins yelled at me.

I snapped back to reality and continued with my duty. I don't want to get on anyone's bad side and everyone here is running low on patience. They just want to be out of this situation.

Taking a short break, Winter greets me with a small smile looking a little worn out than usual. She sits opposite me on the wooden patio chair and fans herself.

"The heat is the worst." She says distracted by the bees. I offered her my PBJ sandwich I was eating. "No, thanks. I need to take a shower and go to the realtor's office."

That piqued my attention. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I need to discuss numbers with him. He had mentioned that... never mind." She brushed me off.

"Don't leave me hanging. Complete what you were saying."

"I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Is it something bad? Is this land not going to sell?" I immediately list the worst possible scenario.

"No, dummy. Why do you need to think of the worst? It could be good news too."

"Is it?"

"Not entirely, but it can be if the buyer agrees on Uncle' numbers."

Hope flared within me. I could see the light emitting through the dark tunnel I was in. "Oh, my God. Really?"

"Nothing is carved in stone yet. God, why do I have such a big mouth?" Both hands on her head, she sighed. "Promise me you'll keep this tidbit between us."

"Cross my heart."

She looks unconvinced, but remembers she has better things to do than worry about my potential blabber.

Ping!

A notification popped on my phone from an unknown number. I ignored it and returned my attention back to my PBJ. I don't check my phone for the remainder of the day and when I was finally resting on my makeshift bed on the floor of the bedroom that I'd been sharing with my cousins, I finally realized that my phone had received two calls from an unknown number.

I block the number, then open my instagram account. I don't have many followers and my account is as good as dead, but use it sometimes to check on Axel. He had removed me from his followers list shortly after I had left him to come here. It was our break up. I still had hopes that maybe he will understand my circumstances and that we'll once again be fine.

I type in his username, but it turns out that he has changed his privacy settings and I can no longer access his page. Not giving up, I check Chase' page and scroll down his posts in hopes to find something on Axel. Even a glimpse would do. The only thing I found was a shot of him with the soccer team that included Axel too. He looked stunning in his scoccer a jersey and shorts.

"Are you stalking him, now?"

Startled. I spot Winter giggling underneath her sheet. I flash my phone light at her.

"You scared me." I kicked her.

She pulled down the covers. "I didn't peg you to be that lovestruck. Are you sure you didn't screw him?"

I turn red. "Shut up."

I crawl inside the covers and then resume my... ugh! Winter ruined it for me. I keep my phone aside and kick Winter once more to satiate any frustration.

***
A month later...

I received a strange message that had my heart palpitating , fingers trembling and mind in a disarray. It looked like an evite and when I clicked on the link it showed the debutante evite... of Axel. I knew of debutante balls. I had seen some. It was the time when the kids from the high society families stepped into their social worlds.

I shouldn't be alarmed. So what if evite is of Axel' party. It's just a ball that I would be missing. So what if it's one of the most significant moments of his life and that he had promised to not have one if I wasn't on his side. It's expected of him owing to his elite status and social circle. It must be out of his hands. But then who would send me this evite if not Axel?

I paced around the length of the kitchen. The evite stated it was scheduled to be held tomorrow evening at a luxurious hotel. Why was I getting so restless?

"I need eggs, Astoria."

"Coming!"

I shouldn't be overthinking. Maybe I should just call Axel and congratulate him. Yeah, I should do that. I dial his number, but after two rings it stops. I do it again, but it's the same outcome. Did he block my number?

"The pan is on fire." I don't realize that a fire has caught until someone pushes me out of the way to wipe the fire.

Blazing glares from my cousins greets me and after being called all kinds of idiots and banned from kitchen duty, I walk out on the patio and slump down on the chair.

I know everyone has been complaining about me and I am causing them more work than help lately. I secretly hope that they slack me off from work and send me back to my grandparents.

My head is not functioning properly. I feel like I know nothing and on top of that my grandfather is not doing well. He had sprained his ankle last week and was unable to keep up with work. There was always a fear of getting fired as you age and if they're fired, we might have to relocate to the countryside for good.

"Hey." A reassuring hand on my shoulder from none other than Winter snaps me back from my train of thoughts. "Don't stress too much. Mistakes happen."

"I tend to make them the most." She appears blurry when I look up at her with moisture in my eyes. "And often."

"It's part of growing up. We make mistakes, but it smartens us. It's a learning process."

"Easy for you to say. You're the perfectionist." I regret as soon as the snarky comments left my mouth. "I am sorry. I just feel—"

"Pissed, irritated, tired?"

"Yeah."

She rests her chin on top of her fists. "What's wrong?"

"I feel like I shouldn't be here. I am just causing everyone extra work."

"That's bullshit. There's something you aren't telling me." Her blue eyes narrowed at me. She looks effortless in her pastel blouse and jean shorts. Her auburn hair tied in a perfectly clean ponytail. Winter never got the chance to go to college despite being a brilliant student. That must've stung. I've noticed her bright eyes have sadness hidden beneath them.

"I am worried about grandpa."

"And..." she prodded.

Embarrassed, I hid my face behind my hands and answered."I am also worried about Axel's debutante ball."

"Debutante?"

"Yeah, it's the introduction of the kids—"

"I know what it is, but isn't debutante also an engagement ceremony, well, kind of?"

"No," I said, my voice small. "Not always."

"Have you talked to Axel?"

I shook my head. I felt my chest tightened and the worst part of it was I knew what was going to happen and I wanted to see it with my own eyes.

"I have to go. Tell everyone I'll back in a day or two, but I am leaving-"

I was jerked back with a hand on my wrist. "You're not going anywhere alone."

"You can't stop me."

"I am older than you and I definitely can."

"Come with me if you want, but I'll be going one way or another."

***

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