Playlist - Begin Again (Taylor's version) by Taylor Swift

Ares

I checked my phone for the nth time. I didn't want to miss any of Luna's texts or calls, if she ever decided to call. The chances were next to none, but I can hope for it.

In fact, I waited for two weeks for her. To either have her throw things at my face, scream at me, hit me, or even just show any sign of reaction. I received none.

After the horrific condition I'd found her in, there was no way I could stick around for her to act even more irrational. I didn't deserve to be cried over, lose your mind over.

But still, it stung that she had become completely oblivious to me. Her face was completely devoid of any trace of emotions. I wondered whether she read my letter.

Sighing, I walked across my bedroom, tossing my phone somewhere and falling flat on the cushioned surface. It's hard to believe that it was actually over between us. The girl became my everything, only for her to despise my existence.

Not a moment has gone by when I didn't think about her. When all of the memories rushed to my head and made me near-insane at the thought of never being again with her, to hold her in arms again.

This time tomorrow, I'll be out of this town, far away from her geographical proximity. I talked myself into it. It will be good for her.

Girls didn't tend to forget the first time and the person they did it with. She won't forget about me. I'll always be there in her blood. She'll feel me when she's all alone at night and maybe the memories of us will keep her from finding an a**hole to take my place in her life.

The thought boiled my blood. There was no way I can fathom sharing her with anyone, let alone have a little fu*k*r,who knew nothing about her body, rake his paws all over her body.

She was mine, for fuc* sake.

Why did I have to go and screw it all up? My life had turned shit.

I wish I could get her back.

"Ares."

I didn't bother acknowledging the presence of the person standing on the threshold of my bedroom door. He was partly responsible for ruining my life.

"When you're done with your tantrum, come downstairs. Your mother and I have invited people to your graduation party, I expect you to show up."

I shook my head in frustration. Couldn't he see that he had ruined everything for me?

"Ares." My persistent father wouldn't stop at anything.

"I'll be there."

He remained silent. I gave up and pulled myself up on my elbow. "What?" I was getting annoyed even more.

He gave me a contrite smile. "Losing girls at first is always hard. You'll get over it."

"Did you?" I asked, straight up front.

If he was stunned, he didn't show it. "It's getting late. Get dressed."

"I did peg you to be a coward. Running away is what you're good at."

He stopped in his tracks. Looked at me from over his shoulder. I thought he would scold me or at least say something, but he didn't. I guess, it was easier to walk away from the truth rather than face it.

***

"One down, two more to go."

Axel's face had a smug looking grin plastered on his face. His happiness appeared gloating to me. Oh, if only I can take out my frustration on his pretty boy face.

"What's gotten in you? You look rather elated." Chase remarked.

"I am bloody euphoric. I feel like the king of the world." I rolled my eyes at his antics while Chase punched his stomach. "Ow," he groaned. "Jealousy is indeed a disease and you both have it."

"Wait, why me?" Chase asked.

"Because, you're not banging the pus** you want, and I am getting closer to bang it."

I left the two at whatever they were arguing about and scanned the crowd. My eyes desperately wanted to find my moonshine, but she wasn't there. I didn't see her at all.

Defeated and devastated. I wanted to disappear from the peering eyes. The heartache was way too much to handle. I felt like I was in hell. I wanted her to rescue me from feeling so utterly broken without her.

I heard my name being called out. I went to collect my graduation diploma. Nothing mattered for me. She was not here. No amount of cheering and applause could save me from my handmade hell.

Just then, I saw the most haunting pair of blue eyes, my favourite color stare at me and suddenly disappeared.

No, wait.

I didn't care for anyone. I rushed to get to her before I'll lose her forever. No, please don't go.

My heart ran on a course of its own. It slammed against my chest and I willed it to calm the heavens down. I didn't want to die of a heart attack before getting a chance to see Luna.

My feets brought me to the football field. She was right there. Blue dress, swollen eyes, unshed tears and a piece of paper in her hand. Her eyes were accusing me of all the terrible things I did to her.

In the past few days, I had realized that there was no way I could ever stay away from her. We didn't say anything. Pain clawed its way in my skin, scarring me. It was the same for her.

Please, tell me how to make this right.

I silently pleaded to her.

"Why did you have to do this to me?" She cried. "I loved you so much. You lied to me, you played me like a game. This is unfair."

I took a step toward her. She stopped me.

"No. Just no." She raised her hand up. "You should be ashamed of yourself, coward. This." She pointed at my letter, then ripped it to pieces, right in front of my eyes. "Means nothing to me," she continued. "You mean nothing to me anymore."

I didn't know when it happened, but I fell to my knees right in front of her. No, please.

"I came here to tell you that I don't ever want to see you again. Get out of my life. Don't show me your face again."

"Luna, please." I didn't care if I was begging, I just wanted her to take me back. "Don't do this."

"I will do this. You don't tell me what I get to do."

"Please, give me a chance to explain. To win you back."

"I'll be a fool to take you back in life. It's over between us, Ares."

I don't how long I stayed there. The rain poured on my parade. It was cruelly perfect. I deserved that. She left me and there was nothing I could do now.

***

Luna

"Honey, wake up."

I woke up startled. "What's wrong, Aunt Luce?"

"Change out of your clothes. We need to go to the hospital now. It's Ares."

Horror swept inside me. My heart skipped a beat and my pulse was beating faster than usual. Oh, God, no. Cold and shaken, I slipped into the first pair of clothes I could get my hands on.

The rain was out of control. I constantly asked my aunt what happened with him, just like me, she was clueless. All I knew was, he got in an accident.

What was happening in my life?

I fisted my hair in my hands. If something were to happen to him, I didn't know what I'd do. All the things I said to him... Oh, God. I couldn't take it. I was going to die if he...

I raced inside the hospital. I found Chase near the reception area.

"Hey," I called him. "Ares. Where's he?"

Sharp glint of his eyes pierced me. "Why do you want to know? Didn't you do enough already?"

"Please, don't say that." I would not be able to live with myself if I was responsible for his... no.

"Young man, tell us this instance, what floor is Ares on?" My aunt came to my aid. If she weren't there with me, I would have collapsed.

"8th floor. 8D," Chase replied, tersely.

The people I didn't recognise and some I did whispered to each other when they saw me approach. I felt like a stranger among them. Evelyn was sobbing when I went to console her.

"Luna." She leapt in for a hug. "We don't know what happened. He was supposed to come to his graduation party, but then we hear this news." The poor woman was still in shock. My own tears were uncontrollable at this point.

"His father is talking with the doctors. I won't be able to survive if anything happens to him."

The lump forming in my throat was threatening to explode. I'd been through too much already. I lost my dad, then my mom and now I couldn't lose Ares too.

Yes, I was angry beyond my mind at him. I still didn't want him to go. I loved him.

Please, mom. Don't take him from me.

"He'll be alright." I reassured myself more than her.

Evelyn stood when Mr. Torrance came into the view. His expression was guarded when he regarded his wife.

"I had a word with Dr. Wells. He told me Ares is out of danger, but he received massive hits around his skull. His hand is fractured and there are some broken ribs along with internal bleeding. They'll all heal in time and the bleeding has subsided. He's on some heavy medication so he'll be out for most of the time."

Evelyn was barely able to keep it together. Her husband engulfed her in his arms.

I sat on the nearest bench. The vicious nightmare just won't end. I don't want to continue living with so much pressure on my back. I leaned back, tears free flowing, heart in my hand, I was praying for him to be alright.

He didn't deserve to lie in a hospital bed on the day of his graduation. It was unfair.

Mr. Torrance regarded me with a look that could shake me in my boots. He blamed me for Ares's condition. I wasn't in the mood to justify my side to him, I'd already been to hell and back.

Let him blame me all he wanted, after all, it was his son who was injured.

The next day is even more unforgiving. Axel and Chase sent daggers my way and Evelyn made it clear to me that my presence was not welcomed here. I didn't want to argue with a mother who was still having a difficult time grasping everything that has happened with her son.

Despite hurtful things said to me, I stayed there. Hoping to see Ares.

The next day, I heard Ares was moved to a private floor where only family and friends were allowed to visit.

At night, I stayed awake with my muddled thoughts and the decisions I'd made. Ares had broken my heart beyond repair. But how can I crucify the person whom I loved dearly. Even after everything that happened with us, I knew that he loved me too.

Was love enough to save what was left of us?

I didn't have an answer to it.

All my thoughts were for the man I'd fallen so deeply, irrevocably in love. Even Aunt Luce was starting to worry. She tried her best to cheer me up, but nothing was working. Astoria had showed up to see me, but I had told my aunt to send her away.

I was just not in the right mindset to do anything.

Because of my disturbing mindset, I went further to dig my own grave of hurtful words. There was no way I was returning without seeing Ares. It had been enough days already. He should be better by now. At least, to see visitors.

Again, I was refused entry to his floor.

My thoughts rushed to Astoria. She was Axel's friend. I am sure she can get me in.

I dialed her number, she picked it on the first ring. "Luna. Gosh, how are you?"

I cut to the chase with her. "I need your help. They're not letting me see Ares. They require approval from the family to let me up on his floor. You're Axel's friend, can you ask him to let me see Ares?"

She hesitated for a second. "Uhm.. Luna, I don't—"

"Please don't say no. I owe this one to you. Please, please, if I don't see him, I'll go crazy. I need to see him with my eyes." I was begging at his point. Not that I cared.

"Give me five minutes."

I ended her call and hoped for the best. The next I knew, Axel exited the elevator, gesturing to me to get in the elevator car. I wasted no time and went in.

His lips were pursed and he appeared annoyed. I bet he's only doing it for Astoria. I made a mental note to send Astoria a gift basket.

The car came to a stop. Axel gripped my elbow before I could step out of the doors.

"I am only doing this, because that bastard loves you. Don't make it a habit of expecting kindness from me."

"I won't."

"You're in luck. His mother went home to get a change of clothes."

Even if she was here, it wouldn't have deterred me from seeing Ares. Why did love have to be so cruel? It was supposed to be a fairy tale, not a godd*am curse.

I willed myself to not lose myself in him. I just wanted to see him with my eyes. Make sure he is okay. That's bullshit even if I convinced myself of that, I knew that I was here, because I was hopelessly in love with him.

I was going to do as my heart told me to.

I brushed the tears off my face before entering his room. Taking in his condition, the tears just leave my eyes of its own accord.

"You're here," he whispered, surprised.

I didn't say anything. With each second passing, I was becoming more and more tongue-tied. His head was in a plaster so was his hand. His body looked awfully hurt.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from sobbing right in front of him.

"Please don't cry. It makes me feel terrible." He said it with a smile on his face, but I could tell it hurt him to do it.

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Okay, I will not."

I stood next to his sleeping figure. My fingers ached to touch his face. I was afraid that if I touched him, the feelings and memories of him would intensify if I touched him.

The bruises had covered his face. He looked so fragile in front of me.

"I waited days to see you. No one let me in. Everyone blamed me for your accident and I blamed myself too. They shut me out."

"I didn't know they were doing it."

I sat on his bed, taking the available space.

"I didn't expect you to know. You were dealing with your things. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Uh-huh." He brushed a stranded lock of hair from my face. "You look beautiful even when you're crying and... with a runny nose." He chuckled.

I blushed. "Shut up."

We remained silent. I stared at my hands while his hot gaze was glued on me. I didn't know what I should tell him. After our very messy breakup, this should feel very uncomfortable.

Knowing that you loved a person so much, only from them to me so far away from you even when they're close, it should feel unnatural.

But, it was rather pleasing. I didn't share comfortable silence with anyone- excluding my aunt -other than him.

He took my hand in his larger ones. They were hooked to an IV machine. I lightly traced my thumb along his knuckles.

"I am sorry." His words broke me. "I know there's no excuse or justification for what I've done to you. Only thing I want from you is your forgiveness. I am not going to manipulate you into doing anything. I want to see you happy even if it's without me. I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me."

My hatred and anger for him had already faded. The only emotion left in me was the unbridled love and pain of my broken heart.

"I don't hate you." I told him, meaning every word. "I can never hate you. I wanted you to know that."

He smiled, and the numbness inside me slowly started to diminish.

"I want to see you tomorrow too." I told him. "But no one lets me up."

"I'll talk with my mother." It was hard to hold his gaze when he looked so broken. "By the way, who let you in?"

I smirked, smugly. "I let a friend of mine do the work for me."

He chortled, then winced. "Shit, I forget how much it hurts."

My hands flew to his ribs. "It hurts a lot?" I asked, incredulously. I leaned down to skin the side. "Don't worry, I've kissed it to take the pain away."

He gazed at me with awe and adoration. It was hard to not still be in love with him.

***

just one more part to go.