(Picture: Serena in her dress)

We've all had this feeling. The feeling that makes you second guess the plan you were so confidently making two nights ago. The feeling of butterflies slowing turning into dragons breathing fire in your stomach. The feeling of nerves slowly crawling up your spine just to mess with your mind.

Yes, the feeling I speak of is "the thought of backing out". This feeling usually has the habit of coming into affect the moment before the big event or plan. Which also means that tonight is the Winter Solstice Ball and I'm totally second guessing this whole "plan A" thing. But let me explain, I wasn't backing out of not doing the plan at all! I was backing out of using Jason. So here I am, all dressed up; hair braided back into a bun, nice designed dress, and make up that made me look like a model; staring into a mirror while I contemplated my best friend's heart. I use Jason: Sakura's heart shatters a little bit more... I don't use Jason: Ky is less likely to kiss me. Ky's Kiss or Sakura's heart? Ky, Sakura, Ky, Sakura, ah fuck! I threw my hands in the air and sighed, my finger tips rubbing my temples. This shouldn't be so hard, fucking feeling.

My phone vibrated on the desk; Alice: gurl we're here! Let's go!

Be right there. I replied before I closed my phone. Slipping it into my thigh holster as I looked at myself one more time. Well...here goes nothing.

I didn't waste my time when I got to the car. Alice dressed all in gold while Sakura in red, both of them waiting outside of the car. "I don't think we should use Jason for "Plan A"." I told them my affliction.

"What do you mean? I thought-"

"I'm not backing out of the plan," I cut Alice off. My eyes landing on Sakura, "but I can't do it knowing that one of my best friends will be dying inside."

Sakura's eyes widened and a tsunami of guilt washed her out from under her feet. "Serena...I told you that it...that it was-"

"I know what you said," my hands were on her shoulders. Tears brimming her eyes. "But your heart is screaming the opposite. You are more important to me than some stupid plan."

"S-Serena..." she was thankful. Sobbing as she wiped her eyes carefully, trying not to mess up her mascara. I felt Alice's presence behind me, handing Sakura a handkerchief to compose herself.

"If you're not gonna use Jason, who are you gonna use?" Alice whispered in my ear, allowing Sakura to compose herself.

"Don't worry," I winked; waving my phone between my finger and thumb. "I have a substitute."

*

"I don't like this," he growled. Eyebrows furrowed like barb wire as hands tensed in pockets.

"I don't care what you like Jason. This was never about me and you." I said stern, dangerously crossing the line labeled "harsh". We stood next to the wine table, sipping a glass of sparkling gold champagne. We watched the crowd as the ball slowly began. A small orchestra playing instrumental versions of every slow song known to man. Little did I know that this charade would be held at the most beautiful white marble castle I had ever seen. Heck, I didn't know that castles still existed and yet here we are!

"Still don't like it."

I rolled my eyes. My glimpse falling upon Sakura as she leaned against the wall. A slight smile played on her lips as her hands tucked behind her hips. Palms against the cool marble. Her eyes held longing as she watched couples danced. Wanting to be twirled and dipped too.

"Do you remember what I told you?" I asked Jason cautiously. Testing the waters as my thumb unconsciously stroke the champagne glass.

"About Sakura?" He replied tense. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I felt the cock of his eyebrow. Holding that skeptical, pissed face.

I could only nod in confirmation.

He sighed and his facade broke. His hand running through his dirty golden locks. Making it a mess that would make any girl drool, any girl but me. "I don't know what to think?!" He admitted troubled. Feeling the conflict within himself as he clutched the knot of his tie. Pinching it slightly.

"What do you mean?" I looked at him. Taken aback by the uncertain state he was in.

"I know that you will never love me." I witness his heart break a little. "You aren't my mate, but when you told me that Sakura loved me..." his voice stopped and his eyes flickered to Sakura hiding her hands along the wall.

"You got a feeling that she could be your mate?" I finished for him, my lips forming into a smile. He kept his eyes on her when he nodded. Afraid that if he looked away she would disappear.

"But I'm afraid. What if you're right Serena? What if I screwed up too much? What if I had pushed her away into another's arms? Did I lose her as a mate? She's been there for me for years, centuries even. I told her everything; advice, my issues, the death of my father, no matter what I told her she never judged me. She never ran away when I dumped all my shit on her. she was always there for me. Always. And what did I do? Crush her heart into a million fucking pieces! God I'm the worst!" His hand lurched to his face. Covering it from the world as he try to hide his guilt. Emotions swirling within his heart; making his stomach do somersaults and upside down dancing. He looked like a mess. A mess that I created.

I contemplated, my nails tapping on the glass gently. Making that famous cling as I decided to throw him a sympathetic bone. "Do you know why I decided to exclude you from the plan?" He didn't answer, wanting me to continue without interference. "It's because of her. She loves you and she will probably always love you no matter what kind of shit you put her through. I know if I included you in this plan...it would be like taking a jack hammer to her heart. Her heart has always belonged to you Jason, but I don't know how much longer she can wait. So do me a favor: stop dicking around and ask her to a dance already."

He was speechless at first, soon breaking into a chuckle. "You know your passive aggressiveness is very apparent."

"Good. Now go get to work before I kick your ass." My smile was a victorious gleam.

"I'm going, I'm going!" He put his hands up in surrender. Watching him walk off as the distance between crush and crushee began to close. It's always fun to watch the first interaction of blooming love. Shaky hands and the occasional nervous laugh. The apologetic smile paired with sincere eyes. She was shy; he was humorous. The barrier of friends slowly shattered when he took her hand. Leading her to the dance flow as they ventured into something new. Something wonderful.

My thoughts were torn from the happy moment by the smell of lavender. My eyes fluttering closed as I breathed it in. Dangerous Lavender, a scent that I know well. Too well. My eyes followed the scent and it wasn't long before my breath was taken away. There he was, the man of the hour as he stood in front of the giant marbled doors. He wore a black suit, with a black button down shirt, black tie, black belt, and black shoes. And by god he looked too sexy for words. He had found me as quickly as I had found him. Locking eyes across the room as he gave me one of his god forsaking smirks. My breath hitched as my knees threatened to buckle. He started to walk over to me with that famous bad boy stride. Crap, we never discussed what would happen if he walked over to me. Guess I found our first "plan A" loophole. Damn! If he comes over it might ruin the whole plan. What do I do? What do I do?

Luckily, like a hand from god, Ky's fan club surrounded him like a vacuum affect within ten seconds. Now Ky was swarmed with at least twenty girls flattering him and begging him for a dance. He was stopped in his tracks looking completely flustered. It was practically the most funniest thing I had ever seen, I had to contain myself from keeling over. Unfortunately...even though it was funny, I could feel my instincts stir with jealousy. And the familiar flash of werewolf blue danced in my eyes. I was about to storm over there and assert my dominance when a familiar voice chimed in.

"Looks like lover boy is still blind to his own senses." I smiled and looked at the owner of the voice. Hello substitute. Sebastian Blood grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my knuckles. Giving me a reassuring wink.

"And I see that you're still mateless." I retorted, putting my glass of champagne back down on the table.

"Ouch! You hurt this old man's heart!" He exclaimed dramatically. Clutching his chest as his gesture screamed, "woe is me!". I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him an eye roll.

"Old man my ass! You're only 20!"

"Yeah yeah, save me the details sweetheart."

"So dramatic!" I growled.

He smirked and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. Leaning his lips near my ear as he whispered, "only for you angel cakes." He pulled back and took the liberty to laugh at my flaming cheeks.

"Why you!-"

"Should we make Lover boy jealous?" He interrupted me. Holding his hand out to lay my hand on his palm. Waiting for me to dance with him. I chuckled and shook my head; taking his hand as he lead me to the dance floor.

It didn't take us long to get into the swing of things. Dancing a slow elegant waltz as we were a person apart. Keeping distance between us; making small chat to add a natural aspect between us. To make an atmosphere that radiated the idea that we talk often. I was laughing when I notice him grin with a smug. Seeing his eyes notice something in the distance.

"What are you..." I asked, about to turn my head when he grabbed my chin. Stopping me.

"Don't look." He cautioned.

"But why-"

"Because our plan is working." He smiled. Twirling me as I caught a glimpse of Ky watching us closely before my eyes came back to Sebastian. His hand going back to my hip as he steadied me, not letting go once.

"How do you know?" I questioned. Looking into his eyes, skeptical.

"I've been observing him." He said peeking past my face. Looking like a professional spy listening in on his target. "Gotta make sure that he's worthy of you."

I slapped his chest gently. "Sebastian!" I scolded in a whisper.

"What!? You never know! That's why you gotta double check these things! Trust me, when you get to my age you'll know."

There he goes again, going on about that two year difference. "And what is your agely wisdom telling you?" I said in a mocking tone.

He smirked ear to ear, a mischievous gleam playing in his eyes. "It tells me that you need to notice the littlest of things."

"What do you mean?"

"He hides it very well, but if you watch him it's clear as day. His possessiveness for you I mean. Right now he's boring daggers into the back of my head. His jaws had been clenched every since I kissed your hand. His shoulders only tensed when I dragged you onto the dance floor. Not able to relax ever since. Now I bet he's gonna want to lurch at me and rip my arms off."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because of this," his voice was cocky as he gently pressed my body against his. Closing the distance as we now danced chest to chest. "But he's gonna restrain himself," he whispered. "Because he's a good little boy and follows the rules."

"You know, you're way too good at this."

"I just know how a man ticks. If I were in his shoes, having my mate in someone else's arms would drive me completely nuts. Which is what he's doing right now." He paused, contemplating whether he wanted to take it up another notch. "Do you want to know what we really tick him off?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid of you going too far." I spoke honestly. That mischief in his eyes giving me a bad feeling.

"It's your choice. But I know it will definitely bring him over here. I'm surprised he's restrained himself this far."

"I-"

"Oh, I guess I was wrong." He said amazed. His gaze focused behind me, still being a sneaky little bastard.

"Huh?"

"He's coming over and he's coming fast."

"What?!?!"

"Quick act natural! And one more thing!"

"Yes?"

"Don't be fooled by his composure." He managed to slip in before Ky's voice chimed. Making the ends of my nerves tingle with excitement.

"Mind if I cut in?" Ky asked in a gentlemanly manner.

Sebastian looked at him surprised. Acting like he hasn't been watching Ky for the past twenty minutes. I have to admit, that boy is quite impressive. "Why of course," he replied; letting go of me as his hands where in the air. A type of gesture that was equivalent to "she's all yours". He smirked, "she is your Beta after all. Serena we'll catch up later."

"Definitely," He left with a two finger salute and a wink. Leaving me in a tense air as I looked at Ky. Nervous as I saw red dancing threateningly behind his chocolate brown.

"I see that you two..." he stopped: inhaling deeply before he exhaled with a growl. "...have become rather close."

"We have. Does that bother you?" I tilted my head to the side. Being innocently curious while deep down I already knew the truth.

"You know it does." His voice had a playful edge to it. Stern but sincere. His hand slipped to the small of my back, surprising me as he pulled me to him. Closing the distance between as my hands laid on his chest. My heart pounding a million miles per second. While his was calm and collected, how frustrating. It's no fair that my heart always skips beats when I'm around him while his stays stoic. And then, as if on cue, Ky's heart skipped two beats; catching me off guard.

Don't be fooled by his composure.

"You thinking about something Kitten?" He teased before he welcomed his own jealousy. "Thinking about Sebastian perhaps?" He growled, snarling the name he questioned.

I looked up at him, holding his gaze as he bore into me. Feeling his body relax against mine as my scent invaded his senses. He wanted me and every fiber in my body was aching for him. So with an inch of boldness I replied, "would you kiss me if I was?"

He was taken aback. His eyes widening before they came to a close. "Damnit" was the expression on his face. Shaking his head with a sigh before he looked back at me. He stood there, just staring at me before he slowly reached for me. His hand held my face, leaving a trail of fire along my cheek whenever his thumb stroked my skin. Ignoring my blush he leaned in, placing his lips directly near my ear.

"You're so cruel kitten," he said breathless. Leaving a kiss on my ear as they turned red. A small moan passing my lips. "Using another man to make me jealous. Allowing him to touch and kiss you when you truly know you're mine."

"But can I truly be your's when you won't even claim me?" I retorted, putting some distance between us. "When you won't even tell the world that I belong to you?"

He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.  He was right. I was being cruel. Driving him into a corner where his only option was to kiss me or to keep me off his enemy's radar. He was conflicted and I was only pressuring him more. Pressuring him to confine me to possible damnation. To the possibility of me being a target on a hitman's list. Not only was I being cruel...but selfish. I didn't want to hide. I didn't want our relationship to live in the shadows, away from prying eyes. I didn't want girls to think that I had no right to him. I didn't want a lot of things, but I did want one thing.

"Serena, I-"

"I'm sorry, I...I need to grab some air." I scuttled through the crowd. Leaving Ky behind as I reached for the balcony. Prying the glass door open as the silky curtains swayed. I didn't stop until I reached the balcony, allowing myself to cling to the marble edge. Clutching the stone tightly.

It was a nice night. A full moon cascading a blue hue as a gentle breeze wandered through the trees. A field of grass crept towards the castle and out of the tree line. Dark, evergreen woods far as the eye can see. Followed by a variety of giant mountains, each with a colossal shadow falling behind them. It was a beautiful night...but I was too much in my own mind to enjoy it. If you had asked me how I felt, I wouldn't know what to feel. I don't know if I should be angry? Frustrated? Guilty? God, this is why the world is so complicated. Complicated problems lead to complicated feelings and then to complicated actions. Damn it! Everything's complicated!

My face fell into my hands with a sigh. Trying to ease the headache that was slowly creeping up from the back of my head to behind my eyes. The feeling of a jackhammer banging against my thoughts. Crowding my mind with pain and a sense of uneasiness. I felt as if I was being watched from afar, but figured that was just the after affect of the headache. I was clouded with all these emotions and couldn't seem to sort myself. The heart and mind were always two conflicting beings. Who only worked with each other when the time was right. My feelings only settled when a familiar voice came from the door, sounding like the coo of a dove.

"Serena," he grabbed my attention. Looking to my right as he now stood next to me. A shy smile and a twinkle of moonlight played in his rich brown hair. Everything always becomes clear when I'm with him. I'm at eased with him. I swallowed hard and casted my eyes down. Grabbing his hand as my thumb stroke the top of it out of nervousness. Apparently I have a habit of stroking things when I'm uneasy.

"I'm sorry, Ky. I was being unfair to you. I-"

"Shhh," he hushed me. Pulling me into his arms as he buried his face in my shoulder. Breathing me in as I took in his scent. Allowing it to calm me as I clung to him. My fingers knotting the back of his jacket as a few tears escaped my eyes. He held me tightly, possessively and I accept his embrace full heartedly. I craved it. "I'm the one who's being unfair to you." His arms fell from my body and replaced his touch as he held my face with both of his hands. Leaving a longing kiss upon my forehead; letting the sparks of electricity dance between us. He pulled back and his kiss was replaced by his own forehead. His nose grazing mine while his lips were dangerously close.

"I know I haven't been showing my love lately," he exclaimed, his eyes taking my breath away. "But do know that I do love you. That my heart aches when I can't see you. That it mourns and roars with jealously when I see you in another males' arms. Know that every day my fingers itch to hold you, to touch you. I want to see your smiling face every morning and your sleepy eyes every night. To make you mine as you tremble in my bed, looking like the good little kitten you are. I'm at my limit and every instinct in my body is telling me to kiss you mercilessly." He growled, stroking his lips against mine. A shock of pleasure invaded my body and a helpless moan along with it. "But the urge to protect is far more greater." He stepped back and dragged the tips of his fingers down my arms all the way to the tips of my hands. Leaving my body on fire as he clasp my hands in his own. Lines of fire erupted from the dragging of his thumb on my skin. "I know I'm being unfair and maybe a little selfish."

"Just a little?" I teased, getting a small chuckle in response.

"Okay, maybe a lot. But I've been working with the other Alphas to find a loophole. Some kind of leverage that can be used against the Vampire Lord. A reason to take him out once and for all. You're just gonna have to wait a little longer. Once I know that I can protect you, that you will be safe I will scream to all the world that your mine. You're just gonna have to wait, gonna have to trust me. You'll wait would you?"

Never have I ever seen Ky Severs be as vulnerable as he is right now. A scared little boy who was waiting to be rejected by the girl he's been crushing on for a month now. It's true that Ky can be the biggest asshole badass I know. But when it came to me he was never more than a puppy who just wanted to be loved. How could I ever say no.

"Of course I'll wait for you. I will always wait for you."

His vulnerability was replaced with new found confidence. He kissed both of my hands with a smile and told me he loved me several times over. Each time sending a new flurry of sparks throughout my body.

"Ky! Come here! We have something to show you!" A male voice came from inside as he looked for Ky. Must be one of his jock friends.

"Little busy right now!" He shouted back. I small growl rumbling from his lips.

"Awww come on man!"

"Dude-" I cut Ky off by putting my hand on his arm. Making him look at me with confusion. "He'll be right there!" I replied, making the guy from inside go "oh yeah"! In a weird George Lopez kind of way.

"But Serena-"

"Go have fun, I'll beat right behind you."

"Promise?"

Gosh, you and your promises. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down to me, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Promise." He chuckled and tried to hide his flaming red cheeks. Which looked absolutely adorable.

"Kyyyyyyyyy," the Jock friend was getting impatient.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your pack at bay would ya!" (That's the werewolf version for "hold your horses!") he then ran off. Disappearing into the crowd.

I laughed before I turned back and took one last glance at the scenery before me. God, it's a beautiful night. I inhaled the fresh air and folded my arms across my chest. Well, I guess it's time for me to head back in too. I started to walk back, smiling as my hand reached for the door.

Before I realized what was happening I was grabbed and a cloth was forced against my mouth and nose. Silver nitrate. I struggled, but inhaling the cloth was making me weaker by the second and my vision soon became a blur. Everything began to turn black and fear took over my body.

"Ky...help...me"

Was all I was able to mind link before I was lost in the darkness.

(Play the Song, Do it!)

________________________________
* Jordananime here *

Hello my lovelies, I've known it's been months since I been on. I thank you all so much for your forgiveness and your support! You all make me so happy and I love you all so much! I hope you all keep supporting me as I continue my journey on becoming a full time official author. (That's right guys I'm going to college for a creative writing major! Whoop whoop!) so I hope I keep all your support and I hope you can all give me pointers on how to make my story great! I love you all so much! And I'm not disappearing anytime soon! (Hopefully! Hehe. Jk jk!)

* Jordananaime Out *