chapter forty:

“All rise. The presence of the flag of our country emblem of our constitution, remember the principles for which they stand. Department three of the superiour court is now in session, the Honourable Dakota Parrish judge presiding. Please be seated and come to order.”

Caelum sat awkwardly, moving his chair back with one arm, the other in a tight sling. The cut his father gave him exposed a major blood vessel, and he lost a lot of blood because of it. He had to get thirteen stitches and was ordered to wait while it healed.

The judge, Dakota Parrish, scratched the side of her face and spoke. “Good afternoon. Please state your names for the record.”

"Algol Caelum Forest,” Caelum spoke clearly.

Across from him, Principal Davis said, “Andrew Davis, the third." Caelum didn't look at him. He knew the man was sporting a head injury, but proved himself cognizant enough to appeal at the final hearing.

Caelum twisted his hands in his seat, breathing deeply, closing his eyes. He was fine, he reminded himself. Mr. Murdock said that it was practically an open and shut case.

Caelum wished Peter was beside him, he'd feel a lot better that way. He knew the boy had been in the seat directly behind him, so that thought comforted him a little.

This was the last one, Caelum reminded himself. Then they would be fine. The last one, the jury would put Principal Davis away for good and he and his brother's would be safe. His mother's soul could finally be put to rest.

He'd be able to breathe again.

“Has the jury come to a decision?” The judge asked and everyone's eyes shifted to the jury’s stand.

“Yes, your honour,” a man said, his face was covered from the nose down, he noticed. The man was watching him like a bug under a microscope.

“What is your decision?" His hair was covered by a conspicous hood, his eyes cold and calculating, and for a moment, a fleeting, stunning, terrifying moment, his mouth opened and no words came out, but Caelum knew what he was going to say.

“Not guilty, your honour."

His heart rose and fell, his arms shaking, tears in his eyes. He couldn't do this, he was so tired and Principal Davis had the biggest grin on his face. He rose from his seat, coming to Caelum.

“No, please," Caelum whispered, his body still trembling. He couldn't take this. He was going to die. He looked behind him, wanting to find Peter, wanting to hold his hand.

He wasn't there. Nobody was there.

He turned back around and Principal Davis was on top of him, pushing him to the ground. “No!" Caelum screamed, trying to back away, to get off the bed and run. “No! Please!" Principal Davis dragged him back under him, his mouth opening and laughter spilling through his lips, echoing in his skull.

Caelum couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe. Principal Davis had him pinned down and was taking his clothes off and he couldn't breat―

° · ° · ° · °

Cold water splashed his face. Caelum shot up, hitting his head on the wall and immediately fell down. “Whoa, whoa, it's okay, it's okay. I'm here, I got you,” Peter said, holding him tight, not letting go.

Caelum breathed hard, his burned skin throbbing and his head pounding where he hit it. Caelum focused on Peter. He had his arms wrapped around him tight, rubbed his side, pressing his cheek to his head. “. . . Peter," Caelum breathed, taking in his shea butter scent. “Peter. . .”

"I'm here. It's okay, I'm here,” Peter said gently. Caelum clutched his arm, focusing on his breathing, trying to calm down.

Several minutes passed, Caelum leaned his head back, breathing. “Do you want to talk about it?" Peter asked softly, and Caelum closed his eyes. “You don't have to, if you don't want to."

“No, it's okay, I. . . I'm supposed to write it down or tell someone.”

"I can get your journal?”

"No, I don't feel like writing.” And his hand was shaking, so he'd only be able to make scribbles anyway. He inhaled, rubbing his head. “It started, like they usually do. We, uh, we were in the courtroom. Mr. Murdock was next to me and you were behind me. Princ―Davis. Davis was there. The jury was giving the ruling and the woman stood up, and I. . .” he closed his eyes. “She said not guilty. I started to freak out and Da–Davis stood, he was coming towards me. I turned around to find you, but you were gone ― everyone was gone. Then, he was in front of me and he pushed me down and I couldn't move. He was pinning me against the bed and I couldn't. . . I couldn't breathe, and he―”

Peter hugged him tighter. Caelum tried not to cry on his arm. “He's in jail,” he reminded him softly. "150 years, remember? He's never going to get out." Caelum nodded, rubbing his face, breathing. “Come on, let's go make some hot chocolate.”

° · ° · ° · °

Caelum stood in front of the building, Peter beside him. He wanted the boy to hold his hand, but then he remembered their promise. Despite being together, neither one was ready for anyone in the school to know, except for Ned, who was the first person they told. They would still be friends, but just. . . not dating.

“Are you ready?" Peter nudged his arm, and Caelum gave a worn, tired smile.

“As I'll ever be."

They walked to the school office ― it was still very early, and it was late May, everybody was either lagging behind to get to classes, or skipping altogether.

Caelum rubbed his hands together, entering the office. Mrs. Keeley was there, and she smiled at him, “Caelum! It's nice to see you again!"

Caelum gave her a smile, trying to calm her nerves. "Good morning, Mrs. Keeley, how are you?"

“Good, how have you been?” Suddenly, her face shifted, and the look of pity crossed it. “I heard what happened. I am so sorry.”

Caelum tried not to grimance, her bringing it up didn't help his anxiety, but he tried to keep his smile anyway. “It's alright, thank you." He glanced back at the door, where the Principal’s office was. “I'll have to go, we're going to be late. Can we catch up later?”

"Yes, of course. I'll ping Mr. Morita and tell him you're coming.”

"Thank you,” he gave her a small wave and continued to walk down the hall. He bit the inside of his cheek, breathing slowly, as he stared the door. For a split second, the nameplate changed from Jim Morita to Andrew Davis.

His heart skipped a beat. He froze, subconsciously taking a step back.

"Come into my office, Mr. Forest. We have to discuss your financials."

Peter took his hand, bringing him back to reality, “It's okay, I'm here," he said softly.

Caelum gave a silent nod. “Right. . . yes, of course.” He grabbed the door, and like tearing off a band-aid, he opened it.

Principal Jim Morita was inside. He stood at his wooden bookshelf, but turned to him when the door creaked open. “Mr. Forest, Mr. Parker," he greeted. Caelum contained his cringe. That man made him hate his own name.

“Just. . . Caelum, please,” Caelum said, and Principal Morita nodded.

“Caelum, have a seat," he waved him to the two chairs ― they were new, not the cold wooden ones with hard leather he was used to. Principal Davis over him, pushing his back to the chair as it teetered on its legs. His fingernails clawing into the wood until they were raw and bled. He was standing over him, taking his pants off, his dark eyes keenly watching him.

He nodded and moved silently to sit. He folded his hands, keeping his eyes on the ground, trying to hold back the memories.

“I know we talked over the phone, but just to reiterate, your tuition and fees will be completely free," Principal Morita said, moving to sit himself. "I've already set up tutoring for the summer for you to come here and get the classes you missed. A few of your teachers actually volunteered to help if you need it. It'll be like starting back up your year completely, alright?”

"Yes sir,” Caelum said. He didn't want to talk at all, he didn't want to remember anything. It was making him physically sick.

Peter spoke, “Cael’s going to need a new bus pass ― the student passes expire over the summer unless you have special regulations.”

"I can set that up, will that be all?” Caelum nodded, he had to get out of here. He could see the man pulling off his belt, forcing his mouth open and— “Everything should be set up by this Wednesday, and if you need. . .” His voice trailed off, but Caelum could see his lips still moving. All sound was replaced by Principal Davis breathing down his ear.

“Get on your knees."

His eyes rolled into his head, his heart racing, tears burning his eyes and he couldn't breathe. Principal Morita stood, but that made it worse. He was coming towards him, the belt gripping his throat choking him tight. He gasped, shaking, holding in a sob. He was going to die. He was going to die. He couldn't breathe. He was going to—

Peter grapped his arm and he heard the door close. They were running. Peter practically dragged him into the boys’ bathroom. Caelum leaned over the toilet and vomited. He couldn't get his taste out of his mouth. It burned his throat and tears came to his eyes.

“Just breathe, it's okay, breathe," Peter coached, rubbing his back. Caelum tried, it was ragged and desperate and he was barely holding himself together. The bathroom stunk, like all public school bathrooms do, but it was better than the smell of him, the taste, sound, feel of him.

In and out. Up and down. He gagged on it, it was hot and swollen. Principal Davis grabbed his head, gurgling out a moan. It was hot and thick as it jetted down his throat. It was too much, he coughed, it spilt out of the corners of his mouth.

He vomited again, trying to hold in a sob, his arms shaking, tears burning his eyes. Peter was rubbing his back, whispering soft things in his ears. Good things, not like Principal Davis.

Caelum exhaled, and slowly began to calm down. Peter saw him calming down, and sighed. It took a while, but eventually, he leaned against the stall, rubbing at his face with tissue paper.

He shuddered, closing his eyes. “We don't have to stay," Peter said softly. “We can go home. Principal Morita wouldn't mind."

“. . . No," Caelum whispered, "You can't miss anymore days and I need as much help as I can get."

“Cael, you're not okay," Peter insisted. “You go, I'll stay."

Caelum shook his head, "If I don't get over myself, then I'll never get better."

“It's not a matter or getting over yourself,” Peter argued. "It's trauma ― you're traumatised. That's not a bad thing!”

"It is if it's interfering with my life!” Caelum snapped and Peter was silent. "I. . . I'm sorry. . . I. . . I shouldn't have yelled ― shit.”

"You're frustrated, I get it,” Peter said, and then he smiled his sunny smile. "C'mon, homeroom doesn't start for another thirty minutes, let's go to Starbucks.”

"I don't. . .” Caelum sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Peter, I don't want you wasting money on me."

“It’s not a waste if it's making you happy," Peter held out his hand, helping Caelum to his feet. "You deserve a lifetime supply of green tea with two sugars."

° · ° · ° · °

School ended rather uneventfully. People were nosy, but knew not to push anything. Ned was a little weirded out by the boyfriends thing ― even if it was on the downlow. He was worried Caelum would replace him and push him out of their friends groups, but Peter promised him that would never happen. And, he got over it when Caelum promised to not push Peter down anymore stairs, or get him in trouble, or break his heart.

Of course, Caelum would do none of those things. Except for maybe getting in trouble. The three of them were now partners in crime after all.

When school was finally over, Peter went home, to go do his 'Spider-Man’ business and Caelum. . . well, he had somewhere to be.

It took fifteen dollars taxi's fare and a twenty-minute walk, but eventually he made it. An gated area outside the city on a big hill. He gave a nod to the grounds keeper and began to walk.

After passing several rows and glancing at crumbling headstones, long forgotten from time, he finally stopped. The two pairs of graves stared back at him with judging reproachful eyes.

Here lies, Apolline Daphne Forest

Mother, Wife, Friend

Que son âme repose dans les cieux

He glanced at his father's stone.

Here lies Justice Thomas Forest

Father, Husband, Friend

Man's greatest achievement is eternal rest

“Hi Mom," Caelum smiled, “Hi Dad. I would've brought flowers, but the boys and I are on a budget, so. . . maybe next time?” He moved over to sit between the stones. He leaned against his mother's stone, wondering if she was sitting beside him. “I started school again ― told you I'm not lazy, Dad. It's interesting. Definitely different with Prin. . . Davis. With Davis gone, it's weird. I mean, I know I should be happy, but. . . I guess I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop? I know he's gone now, but I sometimes feel him still. He's not coming back, of course, but. . . I dunno. May wants me to see a therapist. I don't think I want to though. Being in a room alone for another person for an hour. . . it scares me. And, the fact that Davis made me like this makes me mad. I don't think I'll ever be normal again.”

Caelum moved, hugging his knees between where his parents were buried. "Anyways, good news is that I'm not blind in one eye ― thanks Dad. Some night, I have nightmares that my entire body is on fire. That you didn't just burn my face. I wake up screaming. That's why I sleep in Peter's room now. He calms me down, and it helps a lot.”

Caelum suddenly looked over at his mom’s grave. “Oh! I forgot! Peter and I are dating! Well, half the time were dating. When were not at school, were dating. I hope you're not mad at me. I. . . I've always wanted to tell you how I felt about boys, but between school and church and everything else. . . I was too scared. I thought you kick me out, and then Dad would always talk about how much he hated gays. . . I didn't want to get hurt. I really hated myself a lot because of it, especially with Davis, when he would. . . take me to the office. I thought that since I hated doing it some much with him that it made no sense that I was gay. And, then being raised Christian and everything, I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that maybe that was why Dad hated me and why you. . .” Caelum swallowed, blinking back tears.

"An. . . Anyways, Peter makes me happy and he helps. I really don't deserve him, he puts up with all the sh. . . crap that I do. I really love him for that,” Caelum laughed, wiping at his face. “Anyways, the boys miss you. Both of you. They're staying with two women, they're lovely people ― Mom, you would love Dorri, she is just like Aunt Genevieve. They call me everyday and tell me the things they learned. Sometimes, Sarah ― Dorri's wife ― will give me updates on them. They're in therapy right now. I was really nervous about it, because I didn't want what happened to me happen to them, you know? I. . . I want to be a good big brother. I want to protect them, and I―” Caelum held back a sob, closing his eyes and breathing.

“They're all I have left now. And, I–I’m not blaming either of you for dying, but they're all I have left and I wanna keep them safe. But it's hard, I'll never be you. I'll never be either of you. They need their mom and dad and I do my best, but I'm scared. I don't want anything to happen to them. I don't want to them to be scared of going into a fucking office because they might get molested. I don't want them to. . .”

Caelum stopped, breathing for a minute, rubbing his face. “I'm sorry for swearing. I just. . . I miss you. I miss you both. We need you, I need you. And, I know you can't come back and I know I did this, but. . .” Caelum's breath hitched. “I'm scared, Mom. I need you and I'm scared. I don't know what to do but go back to school and learn. I know that if you were here you'd tell me to pray, and I am, I'm praying more than I ever had, but I need help, mom. I need you.”

Caelum sat for several minutes, letting the tears run down his face as the sun shone in the summery blue sky. He sniffed, wiping his face. “I should get going. I have homework to do. I have a lot to catch up on.”

Caelum stood, twisting out of the awkward position and taking a few step away. “I miss you, Mom," Caelum said. “And, you too, Dad. Even if you didn't show it, I miss you both. I'll bring flowers next time, alright? I'll bring lilacs ― your favourite.” With those words, Caelum turned and began to leave.

"I love you."

[END OF BOOK ONE]

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