I woke up alone in a big, unfamiliar bed. But somehow, it did not feel unfamiliar. It felt like home.

Although I wasn't exactly alone. Hashirama was in the kitchen, clearly visible as his loft was completely open, no walls except for those leading to the bathroom and the closet. And Hashirama was making pancakes and whistling.

His face broke out in a wide grin as he saw I was awake in a way that made me suspect he had looked over at me from time to time, hoping I would have woken. It made me feel hot all over that he had watched me sleep. At the same time, it made me feel incredibly safe.  

"Good morning, sunshine", he said warmly. 

"How long have I slept?"

He went to me and kissed the top of my head, and I put my arms around his waist, leaning my face against his strong abdomen.

"Twelve hours. It's ten pm. I've been up since seven."

"Oh, wow", I said, astonished both at how long I'd been asleep and how early Hashirama had woken. 

"How are we feeling?" he asked me kindly, and I could discern the worry in his eyes that he tried to hide. 

I was in unbearable pain, much more so than yesterday, yet it felt ungrateful of me to say so. 

But Hashirama seemed to be able to see right through me. 

"There's a pain killer next to you on the bedside table."

I looked over, and sure enough, there it was. Not just a pill but a whole package. I couldn't know for sure, but I suspected that Hashirama had given me the unbroken package so that I would not have to be afraid he was trying to drug me.

Once the pill kicked in, I could have a pancake or two or three. After we had done the dishes together, Hashirama took me to the hospital and the police. The doctors examined me thoroughly and freed me, and the police started an investigation. Once back home, or sorry, to Hashirama's loft, I was already exhausted.

"Rest", he said and pulled me to him on the couch.

I leaned against him, and once I let tiredness wash over me, I let my biggest fear wash over me as well.

What if Hashirama would turn out to be just like him?

There was no denying the fact that I had fallen for Hashirama as quickly as I had fallen for him, which meant that either, Hashirama was frightfully charming, or I was frightfully dumb. Neither prospect  was appealing to me. What if Hashirama took care of me like this now, only to start manipulating me later on? What if I, once more, didn't even notice? 

"What's wrong?" 

Hashirama must have noticed I had stiffened up.

I considered just biting it down and say it was nothing, that I was just shaken by everything that had happened or that the effect of the pain killer had worn out, but I found I didn't want to. I had been hiding my true self for so long, I couldn't hold it back anymore now I was weakened.

"I am afraid..." I swallowed. Please, don't hate me. "I am afraid you're a bad guy as well. Don't get me wrong!" I added hurriedly. "I appreciate everything you've done so much! I couldn't have managed without you. But that's what scares me. What if you... I mean, even if I don't believe it, I can never know, can I? And it scares me that I am so dependent on you. What if I should be alone for a while?"

Hashirama was quiet, brows furrowed, looking straight ahead. For a while, I was afraid I had offended him, and were just about to speak up to say never mind, that he should just ignore everything I had just said, when he spoke. 

"It sounds very smart, to be honest", he said softly, not sounding offended at all. "I have thought of that as well. Truth is, I can never convince you I'm not a bad guy with mere words. Only time can tell you that. And I also believe it would be good for you to go out and live on your own, just to make yourself understand you'll manage fine without anyone. But I'll tell you this as well." He turned to me, and took hold of my hands. "For these coming days, please be my guest. I would be very worried if you went off by yourself at this point. See it as crashing at a mate's house until you've gathered some strength."

I looked at him, surprised at his words. This... This was beyond my wildest expectations. Not only had he supported me in finding my own way in this world, he had also offered me the choice to stay, as if believing I was fully capable of making such a decision myself.

"Hashirama, thank you", I said, meaning it. "Thank you so much."

His hand trembled as he put it to my cheek and told me I was very welcome. 

Two things happened that made me fall in love with Hashirama Senju.

The first one happened three days after I had come to stay with him. I was making a mug of tea for us. I didn't know the mugs weren't heat proof, so when I took hold of them, I burned my hand which caused me to drop both mugs, spilling hot tea all over.

Shit!

I was waiting for Hashirama to scream at me. He would not beat me up like he had done, but I was absolutely, one hundred percent certain that he would scream at me, and we would have our first fight. Well, not fight; I never got into them, just backed off.

But he didn't.

"Madara!" he said instead and ran to me, completely ignoring the spilled tea, the wet floorboards, the ruined mugs. Instead, he took my hands and inspected them. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" 

Expertly yet with great care, he brought my hands to the sink and ran cold water over them. He stood behind me, his chest softly pressed against my back, and held my hands out in front of him under the running water. He was so gentle and careful, it made tears well up in my eyes.

"Did you burn yourself anywhere else?" he asked softly. "Did you spill on your legs?"

I shook my head. 

He made me sit down on the couch while he cleaned up the mess himself, and made two new mugs of tea which he brought to the coffee table. I was still shocked to the core that you could react like he had done. Of course, at some point in my life, I would have understood it was a normal reaction. But I had lived with him for so long...

We finished our tea in complete harmony. 

The second thing that happened that made me fall in love with Hashirama Senju was that I asked him a question I was dying to know the answer to, and he answered it.

"Hashirama..."

"Mmm?" 

It was late on a Saturday morning. Hashirama had been out until the small hours taking pictures of a bridge. He said the night was perfect because it was crispy, and when I asked him what it meant, he said it was that there were less water particles in the air during cold, cloud-free nights.

"Why have you not ask me why I didn't leave him?"

He turned to me and frowned.

"But you did leave him, didn't you?"

"Yes, but..." I looked down and blushed, ashamed of who I was. "But, you know, sooner."

Hashirama put his book down and took off his reading glasses. He had hidden the fact that he needed reading glasses for quite a few days before I found him squinting at his book because he was too ashamed. He needn't have been. I found it adorable that someone so young would need reading glasses. And he looked hot in them. 

"Madara", he said. "I have never even thought that way. What I have been asking myself, however, is this..."

And then, he turned towards me, and he pulled me into his embrace and held me while nuzzling my face. Shivers of pleasure ran down my spine over and over, and I couldn't help but squeal a little.

"How could anyone hurt you? How could anyone ever lay even a finger on you? I cannot even imagine pulling a hair from your head. I would rather die than actually hurt you, and I don't say this ironically or lightly. How could anyone put a ring on the finger of a kind, sensitive, gorgeous soul like you and not worship the very fucking ground you walk on?"

And so I was, undoubtedly and inevitably, in love with Hashirama Senju.