"And all my armor falling down in a pile at my feet. And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep."
Pale September, Fiona Apple.
—

The following day, the second Frank stepped past the school's gates, he found himself being attacked in a suffocating hug by two people awaiting him at the gate. He staggered, groaning at the tightness of their arms wrapped around him, and quickly realized the givers were Frances and Adam.

"I can't breathe." Frank wheezed out when the air was squeezed from his lungs.

Both drew away, and coming up behind them was Ray with an amused smile on his face, as faint as it might've been. Frank fixed his rumpled clothes, bewildered by the sudden swarm of affection.

"I'm sorry in advance." Adam said, befuddling Frank, before punching Frank in the arm without allowing the warning to absorb first.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Frank rubbed at the area where he received the blow. He could tell Adam held back on the intensity, which was impressive considering the ache. He shot Adam a look questioning his sanity.

"That's for not filling anyone in on how you were doing except for Frances."

"And I called him first!" Frances pointed out, flipping her braid over her shoulder.

"You guys knew I wasn't dead, shouldn't that be enough?" Frank arched a high eyebrow and his hand fell away from the sore spot on his arm.

"It is. They're just idiots." Ray rolled his eyes fondly.

"Toro, I will beat your ass at Guitar Hero later and laugh in your face for it." Adam whirled around, his voice bellowing out loudly enough for Frank's eyes to flicker around the campus in faint embarrassment. He wasn't ashamed of his entertaining friend group, he only didn't wish for attention to be directed towards them for the topic of Frank's incident to float back up into the air once people spotted him. 

"Boys are too fucking loud." Frances grumbled and stuck her elbow into the side of Adam's ribcage. "I should stick around with Kayleigh."

"You'd be winded by following her around while she runs her business." Adam waggled a finger in front of her face and Frances recoiled in mock disgust, batting it away from her.

"You're so annoying." Frances suppressed a giggle. "Run while you can, Frank."

Frank snorted internally, and began following in their stride and they slowly began making their way further onto the campus. The drizzle from earlier slowed into a subtle sprinkle dribbling across Frank's hood protectively drawn over the top of his head. He shoved his hands in his pockets and carefully maneuvered around the puddles resting on the ground while Adam carelessly stomped through them, splattering water across everything within close radius of him, so Frank favored standing near Ray to prevent getting his jeans soaked.

"Now that Frank's alive and here, we can tell him about my epic failure yesterday." Adam walked backwards to face Frank, his sunglasses he didn't have a need for speckled in raindrops.

"Your epic failure?" Frank echoed the words back in a curious way silently accepting the story behind it.

"I asked Kayleigh to the dance yesterday." Adam sighed melodramatically, slowing his pace. "Her fascination with college boys lives on. She rejected me."

"Really? I had a feeling she was a little into you." Frank was normally correct about his assumptions because of the gift adding a sense of deeper intuition most couldn't grasp. He was puzzled to hear about Kayleigh's refusal after studying her behavior near him in the cafeteria on the day they met.

"Maybe she's waiting for you to go to college." Ray laughed from his belly and Adam swung at him with outstretched hands slapping at his arms.

"I thought she was a little into me, too, but I guess we were both wrong." Adam shrugged at Frank. "I should've shown her my bulging pecs. Maybe I would've won her over."

"Chicken arms Lazzara flexing in front of a girl." Frances rolled her eyes.

"I lift weights unlike you, Tinkerbell." Adam retorted.

"We're going in a group anyway, you could dance with her and pretend she's your date."

"Of all people, I thought you'd know how to treat women with respect, Francine."

Frank muffled his laughter by pressing a fist against his mouth, masking the strangled sound with a few coughs he forced from his chest.

Frances eyed Adam darkly. "You don't wanna doubt a feminist."

"Of course not. Which is why you agree I shouldn't act like Kayleigh is my date even though she said no, correct?" Adam quirked his eyebrows up.

Frances sighed. "You spend way too much time with me."

Ray and Frank exchanged a look, both amused by the exchange between their friends. Frank looked back down at his feet and stepped around a puddle, saying, "Get her some flowers or something that has to do with music she likes. I can tell she likes you, she might just be a little hesitant because she's used to her college boys."

"Are you some type of secret romantic?" Adam peered at Frank from under the slipping frame of his sunglasses.

Frank's cheeks blazed apple red under the three pairs of eyes darting to his face. He averted his gaze and studied his footsteps, scratching at the side of his jaw nervously despite there being no itch. "Uh. Sort of. I don't — I don't date a lot, but I like to help."

"I could use the help." Adam strode alongside Frank then, looking to him for further guidance.

"I asked if you needed input!" Frances cried. "I'm a girl, who knows about how to wow girls more than I do?"

"I need guy advice, tiny monster, relax." Adam leveled his hands in the air and Frances made an appalled sound.

"I'm going to take this girl somewhere else before she bites your ear off." Ray cooly escorted Frances by her elbow elsewhere before Adam ate away at the last of her nerves that morning. Frank's eyes followed them, and Frances looked over her shoulder, signaling to Adam that her eyes were on him despite being swept away across campus.

"What if I grew a beard? College guys have facial hair." Adam stroked his chin thoughtfully.

Frank chuckled. "I think it's intellect and mental maturity that appeals to her."

"I'm intellectual. And mentally mature. Kind of." Adam scratched the back of his neck, his nose wrinkling as he put his words into consideration. "Maybe not, on second thought."

"There's still something about you that makes her look twice. And not all college guys are mature, a lot of them are fuckin' idiots. You're better than half of them." Frank reassured his friend. "Just be you. Get her flowers, have some more one on one time with her. Give her a compliment. Not one about her body."

"Jesus, how do you not have half the girls here following you around all day?"

Frank's cheeks blazed. "I'm not the one trying to get a girl to go to a dance with me."

"Why don't you ask your knight in shining armor?" Adam waggled his eyebrows, jesting. "Gerard Way, huh? I thought he'd be the one running people over, not rescuing unsuspecting pedestrians."

Frank tensed, mostly at Adam's carefree suggestion in his playful tone, and partially at the dreadful mention of Gerard's name he purposefully avoided thinking about when he realized it caused his heart to drag down into his stomach.

"He's a guy." Frank awkwardly cleared his throat, not so stupor at keeping a mask held over his face. He wasn't certain if he was ready to come out to one of his friends despite being fond of Adam; there was no way to be sure so soon if Adam minded any sexual preferences going beyond the norm in society.

"I'm just fucking with you." Adam shook his head. "Even if you were into dudes, you know, it doesn't matter."

Surprise colored Frank's expression. His eyebrows shot up, a flush rising high in his cheeks, although none of the surprise he experienced was unpleasant— in fact, it was quite the opposite. "Really? You wouldn't care?"

"'Course not. Fuck homophobes. I'm not into dicks, but if another dude is, hey. It's like tits to a straight guy. I get it." Adam shrugged as if it were the easiest subject to discuss on earth.

"Yeah, I guess." Frank hesitated, contemplation bringing the tip of his tongue to his lip ring to wriggle it momentarily. "What if I'm like that?"

Adam halted. Frank could see the roundness of his eyes under his high eyebrows from behind the lenses of his sunglasses, and Frank bounced his weight from one leg to the other nervously.

"You're gay?" Adam inquired in a whisper so no passing students could eavesdrop.

"Not fully gay." Frank corrected quickly. "A little. I like girls, too."

"So, you're bisexual?"

Frank fiddled with his thumbs and averted his eyes. "Yeah."

"Called it." Adam clicked his tongue thoughtfully.

"Called it?" Frank burst out in shock, his eyes flying open in their largest size. Tingles of the feeling causing him to cry out louder than necessarily flourished in the tips of his wriggling fingers he couldn't keep still at his sides.

Adam laughed carelessly. "You know how many times I've caught you staring at Gerard?"

Humiliation spilled over Frank's skull and flooded own the back of his neck in a halo of red. "Oh fuck— I don't like him. Like, no. That's not gonna happen."

"It's obviously never gonna happen cause I'm pretty sure that guy would only ever lay a hand on someone for procreation reasons as the last man on earth, but you can still think he's hot. You know that, right?" Adam slowly resumed walking and gestured for Frank to stumble along.

"Well. Yeah." Frank balked. "He's sort of . . . blindingly pretty. The personality, not so much." His eyes narrowed and a scowl automatically formed across his face.

"Damn. Did he kill your cat after he saved you?" Adam asked, the reason for Frank's reaction beside him.

"I'm a dog person. And no, he just — he's a douche." Frank gave it to him straight, but decided to leave it at that instead of being the type to spread rumors or speak ill of someone without their knowledge. "I'm not gonna talk shit."

"The only person he's ever talked to has nothing nice to say. He's gotta be a tool." Adam ruefully half smiled. "Sorry about that, man."

"It's fine." Frank rushed to say, then paused, absorbing the full set of sentences. "You're the first person who hasn't cursed me for not liking cats."

Adam threw his head back and laughed, unbridled and branched out from the center of his chest. He swung an arm around Frank and tugged him under it in a half hug of sorts, knocking his hood away to ruffle his hair. "You not liking cats is the least of my worries, little man."

When the bell alerting students to scurry to class trilled loudly overhead, Frank separated from his friends and went on his way, carefully avoiding anything on the ground that could cause yet another accident. He also avoided the stares he was given, shaking off the unnerving feeling of false concern birthed by incessant rumors being swapped around. He shielded his head from the rain with the protection of his hoodie, struggling between watching where he was going and what was below his feet. Frank managed to nearly barrel into someone's side when he lost track of his footing somehow and swayed before gaining his balance with a rosy color flooding his cheeks. In a fit of embarrassment, Frank spewed out apologies, and looked up to find Gerard was the person he almost collided with. He swallowed his tongue and stammered when their eyes met.

"Be careful. This weather is treacherous for the uncoordinated." Gerard's faintest smile lived mostly in his eyes while his mouth didn't give a single twitch. Water droplets dripped from his ebony hair and trickled onto his dark peacoat still unbuttoned near the top despite it being bitterly cold. Frank's eyes flashed to the pale neck being exposed and rapidly directed his eyes elsewhere as more color swirled under his skin. He couldn't believe how flustered he felt both at Gerard's words and carrying a stubborn image of Gerard's throat trapped in his mind. It felt sinful, almost, especially after their unpleasant conversation in the hospital the other day.

"I think I've managed just fine so far." Frank gestured to his lack of broken legs.

"Yesterday may beg to differ." Gerard's faint smile finally graced his lips, but just as soon as it appeared, it vanished. He meant to take off, but Frank's stuttering made him freeze.

"Gerard. About yesterday." Frank nervously looked around at the curious eyes pointed towards himself and Gerard stood in the middle of the hallway.

"We better head to class before we're late, Frank. We can talk later." Gerard said, not sparing another glance before dismissing Frank and going on his separate path. Frank stood there for a moment, staring after him in disbelief. Then, as the tardy bell trilled, Frank flinched in his spot and bolted off to class, doing all he could to shake off Gerard from his mind.

—

Two weeks later as classes bled by in a sluggish pace taking after grains of sand tunneling through a narrow hourglass, the rain adopted a pounding speed striking the rooftops and every visible surface with heavy water droplets like bullets once they collided with the ground. Students scurried as quickly as possible to their classes while shielding themselves with hoods and plastic binders facing up for the droplets to shatter there. Frank slipped a total of three times while attempting to rush between classes like the rest of the crowds, only being helped up by a decently friendly classmate on the final time, and Frank was mortified to realize his jeans were nearly soaked from the amount of landings he performed tumbling onto the slick pavement. The only bright side to the matter was the no better quality of the clothing his classmates wore. Frank's hood was near dripping by the time he arrived to lunch, taking shelter with his friends in the cafeteria.

Against his better judgement, Frank's eyes continued to dart towards the occupied Way table where all of the teenagers with alien beauty sat still, mumbling amongst themselves, the most chipper of the quartet being Kristin who paid no mind to the locked jaw of her boyfriend as she chattered away at his side. Frank pretended he didn't notice his eyes consistently locked with Gerard's across the room, but the clouds stirring in his insides coalesced with the glaciers in Gerard's presence that was touchable even through the distance. Frank felt it crawling up his spine, along with the gravitational pull residing in Gerard's gaze; almost like a panther, beautiful yet radiating a dangerous aura coiling under its sleek coat. Frank's throat dried each time he was ensnared by Gerard's eyes for a second too long. He downed his water bottle and ate little to nothing. His stomach bubbled and twisted far too much for him to build an appetite.

As expected, Frank was the talk of the school for far too long. He captured the whispers and the sensation of being the center of attention, spiking his nerves uncomfortably, and he tended to avoid the stares he felt burning into him while gaggles of students whispered to themselves about the accident. It increased when the driver of the vehicle nearly leading Frank to his death apologized to him publicly where all could see, and Frank was far too polite to tell him to leave him alone, so he graciously accepted the apology again and pleaded for him to let go of his guilt mostly for his own sake. Frank's friends poked at the subject until they realized he didn't want to speak up on the matter again, so they resumed their previous conversation, leaving it open for Frank to comment if he wished to join. He kept his communication at a minimum, focusing on ignoring Gerard just like he was intent on avoiding Frank, but failing to simultaneously. Gerard seemed an expert at forgetting someone existed. He made himself unapproachable in the weeks after the accident and made it loud and clear that he had no intention of speaking to Frank again. Frank was angered by it, but he let it be, hating to admit Gerard was far too intimidating those days to provoke.

The tension was sickening. So, when English class arrived, Frank made a decision. He planned to thank Gerard correctly for the incident, shoving aside his pride for a moment, and if Gerard chose to cut himself free from his off-putting attitude, Frank would see where their conversation went from then on. He wasn't so keen on becoming Gerard's friend, and it was overwhelming being in his presence for long, but the tendril of gratitude that swelled in his heart overnight couldn't be easily repressed. Frank was polite in nature, perhaps a bit too merciful, because any other person wouldn't give Gerard the time of day after his rude behavior at the hospital. He supposed, what with being so in tune with the actuality of so many people, he learned to see there was always more underneath the outer shell most couldn't see through. Whatever caused Gerard such turbulent suffering must've caused him to acquire a level of bitterness. With those thoughts, Frank ought to label himself as a therapist, making him chuckle under his breath as he took a seat.

Frank hesitated, tonguing at his lip ring with his lips sealed shut at first. He eyed Gerard's still form from the corner of his eye. Gerard was lost within his own thought with his eyes fixed on the whiteboard at the front of the classroom, void of much expression. Frank cleared his throat, waiting for Gerard to react to it. Gerard twitched, his eyes staying in place.

"Hey Gerard." Frank greeted quietly. It wasn't oozing ecstatic kindness, but it was leveled enough to sound casual.

Surprise flickered over Gerard's stony face. He inclined his head in Frank's direction, his eyes quickly glancing his face over. He nodded, then turned his head again. Frank's easy aggravation flared up. What was that about?

"How are you today?" Frank asked, resisting the urge to grind his teeth together.

Gerard's hesitation came before his answer. "I'm doing well. Thank you."

"I wanted to ask you that before asking if I can talk with you about something." Frank checked for any indicating signs of annoyance or reluctance.

Gerard blinked a few times. He looked to Frank again, his eyes staying there that time. "About what?" His almost timid voice was smoothed over, perfectly aloof despite the surprise Frank felt in him.

"I know on the day of the accident, we didn't exactly . . . get along." Frank twisted the words out, his eyes tightening with the urge to narrow. "Regardless. I wanted to thank you."

Surprise revisited Gerard's face, but that time, with a trace of softness in his strange starry eyes now boring into Frank's. Frank's teeth clicked, overcome by ice and hypnosis he fought against.

"You already thanked me."

"It wasn't under good circumstances." Frank squirmed in his seat and forced his eyes to escape from Gerard's gripping stare. His heart beat erratically when the image of their beauty burned in his mind as if he never looked away. "God knows what could've happened if you weren't there. So— you know, it would be fucked up not to thank you for it." Even if you might regret it.

Gerard's eyes boring into Frank's when his stare flickered back felt like the shifting of planets above their heads, the gravity shifting between the weight of their gazes clashing together. Frank felt Gerard attempting to dissect him as Frank did Gerard, prying the glaciers apart in search for the source of crystallization.  Frank wasn't sure if Gerard's search felt intrusive or adrenalizing.

"I couldn't let it happen," Gerard murmured, his voice edged in a delicate rasp. "You have too much to live for."

Shock sprayed through Frank like the embers of morning glory. They fizzled as they soaked in deep and he was mildly stunned by the depth of Gerard's answer; the fact that Frank had too much to stay alive for to be taken so soon. It was a thought he considered hours after the accident, reflecting on his role in the lives of others and the future yet to full unfold beneath his feet. It wasn't very odd for another person to consider it, but Frank was mainly stunned that Gerard of all people looked so deeply into it that it compelled him to become Frank's unlikely savior. As it all clicked into place, and as Frank assessed the shift in Gerard's jade and bottle glass eyes glowing like an unearthly presence behind his facade, some of the pieces struggled to stay secure in their place.

"My parents would've been devastated if anything happened to me. My mom wouldn't have forgiven herself for encouraging me to go to class despite the ice and snow." Frank found himself quietly rambling. "Seems like my friends would've been pretty blue. They were happy to see I'm not . . . dead or all battered in a hospital bed."

Gerard's eyes tightened around the edges before they softened again. "It takes life changing experiences for some of us to open our eyes to things we never considered before."

Frank's chest ached somehow at those words, spoken as though from a person who endured it themselves. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

Gerard nodded. His jawline lost his previous softness and he seemed to catch himself. He turned away with a calculated look, his eyes quickly falling away from Frank's. Another reality struck Frank again at his refusal to stay open, semi vulnerable.

"If you cared enough to save me, why would you push me away?" Frank asked, his brows furrowing as the words spilled out. "You seem cold. It's kind of confusing to me."

Gerard averted his eyes. He shifted his stony composure, and as he took a deep breath through his nose, his face tightened along with his posture. "It's best if you aren't associated with me, Frank."

Frank blinked slowly. "Meaning?"

Gerard's teeth clicked audibly. "As in, I don't want to be joined at the hip now. I wouldn't be a good friend to you."

Another wild spin. The atmosphere shifted so quickly that Frank was nearly dizzied by it, grasping onto it with slipping fingertips. He stared at Gerard in disbelief, wondering how a person who flickered on and off so frequently could exist. Frank understood the roughness of Gerard's voice laid out over the normal silky texture of it was meant to send out a signal for Frank to understand that he wasn't to be reckoned with, or pushed at any degree. Frank's approach was respectful, carefully executed, and at no point had he insisted on a desire to be joined at the hip, as Gerard phrased it.

"You just want nothing to do with me?" Frank asked, blurting it out. "Do you do this often?"

"Do what?" Gerard's head inclined slightly in Frank's direction, purposefully ignoring the first question to Frank's disdain.

"Save people's lives and act like you hate them after?" Frank patience spent seconds ago and he didn't refrain from adding the hard edges to his tone.  His jaw clenched, his stare burning into the side of Gerard's face.

"I don't hate you," Gerard quickly said, softening at the core despite his actions and biting words. "I just don't think we'd make a good team."

"I never said I wanted to be your best friend."

"I'd prefer to keep it that way."

Frank's mouth fell open. He quickly snapped it shut before he was caught staring unintelligently. Seething, Frank's hands curled tightly around his school binder, enough for his hands to tremble and his skin to stretch taut and pale over his knuckles. He turned away from Gerard and internally battled with himself to resist the temptation to release a flurry of expletives that could get him suspended for violence. Frank gnawed at the soft skin on the inside of his cheek and kept his eyes straight ahead until the second the lesson began, refusing to give so much as a second glance to Gerard. If the absence of comradeship was what he wanted, he'd be given a cold taste of the very medicine he fed to Frank. Frank deliberately kept his eyes to himself and entertained his attention with things worthy of it during the length of the class session seeming to trickle by torturously slowly. Some movements from the corner of his eye were inevitable to capture; it was an instinct to be aware of his surroundings, he was only human, but Frank brushed it to the further end of his mind to save himself the energy that went into staying infuriated. He refused to come off as undignified by figuring out why Gerard viewed the thought of becoming friends with Frank such with obvious distaste.

The reminder of the project he completed with Gerard didn't help the matter, but Frank managed to wrench the neatly formatted and printed essay from his folder to pass it up towards the front of the classroom along with the sheathed drawing Gerard rigidly slid across the space for Frank to take. Frank brushed off the curious glances being tossed in his direction when their project was passed forward, the students undoubtedly wondering how a team project could've worked out between the new student and the enigmatic, standoffish boy who kept to himself unless it was a member of his family. The class went to review the grading process for the project and quickly skimmed over the history of the author of the novel assigned to them to pass the time by. When spare time was allotted, the teacher stepped back to begin leafing through the pile of projects as the students chattered amongst themselves at a controlled volume after the teacher asked that of them.

Frank retrieved his phone and his earbuds from his pocket to stick one in his ear, leaving the other available to the sounds around him in case the teacher made another announcement or the bell trilled sooner than he anticipated. Frank doodled aimlessly on a blank page in his notebook with a mixture of PJ Harvey and Sunny Day Real Estate while tuning out the presence sitting still beside him. Frank continued drawing an ungraceful graveyard monster scene on the page until the bell interrupted his pen scrawling stitches across Frankenstein's neck. Frank huffed out a sigh of relief and collected his things, tangling himself up in the earbuds in the process, and he let out a frustrated sound as the students all began to vacate the classroom along with the teacher who rushed out to retrieve something. Frank noticed Gerard moving slowly beside him, and he only tried to move his hands faster, yanking the zipper to his backpack shut. He stood quickly, rushing to the door, but the toe of his shoe caught the protruding leg of a chair that hadn't been pushed in properly.

Frank stumbled, flailing in a failed attempt to grab at the desk before he fell to his knees, but before his knees could crash painfully against the linoleum, a pair of arms wrapped securely around him to pull him back from his fall. Frank gasped, flinching. He was quickly steadied and the arms he felt retreated immediately. Frank spun around, seeing Gerard standing nearby at a safe distance. Gerard's eyes were slightly wide, almost surprised by his own actions, but it couldn't level with Frank's shock.

"Jesus Christ, I don't know how you're so fucking fast." Frank breathed, his heart thudding. Then, he folded his fists and looked away cooly. "Thanks. I need to go now."

"Frank, wait." Gerard called when Frank whirled around to scurry out of the room as quickly as possible.

Frank froze, one foot in front of the other. He wasn't permitted the time to process and form an answer before Gerard was stepping in front of him, uncomfortable yet determined all the same. Frank wished there was an obtainable escape route to take so he wouldn't be forced to listen to whatever Gerard had to say. Frank clenched his jaw and looked up at Gerard, his chin raised.

"Now you want to talk to me?" Frank asked rather unpleasantly.

"No. That's not the case." Gerard responded, filling Frank with renewed anger.

"What the fuck kind of answer is that?" Frank barked.

"Will you let me speak?" Gerard arched a high eyebrow, exasperated.

Frank's mouth glued shut. Instead of giving Gerard the benefit of his attention, Frank started to march past him. To his surprise, a hand wrapped around his wrist, halting him. Frank gasped from the stealth and freezing chill of the fingers wrapping around him. A jolt of ice shot through his veins along with something embarrassingly warm, that painful combination of winter and temptation exuding heavily from Gerard. Frank wrenched his arm away and turned to stare at Gerard with large eyes.

"Hey man, don't touch me." Frank meant to say it snappily, but it came out awfully breathy. His cheeks colored scarlet and he pressed his lips together in a tight line. He was grazed by humiliation to be caught in such a flustered state, and he couldn't understand the reasons why he was flustered, yet it was undeniable in the way it stained his cheeks in fresh blood churning hot under his skin.

Gerard's throat worked with a gulp. He took a guarded step back, his mouth twisted in a deep frown. "My apologies."

"It's . . . it's whatever. I'm gonna be late to class." Frank sighed.

"All I wanted to say was that I'm sorry for seeming unnecessarily rude. I don't dislike you, Frank. Really." Gerard's words rolled quickly like the wind.

Frank's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline at the unbelievable and contradictory words leaving Gerard's lips. "Really? You pretended I didn't exist for two weeks."

Gerard winced slightly and covered it up by dragging an open hand along the side of his face; a giveaway sign of stress. "I know. I realize my actions don't align with my words."

"Yeah . . . something like that." Frank said uncertainly, shifting his weight onto his other leg. Frank yearned to spit out his thoughts that Gerard was awfully contradictive and everything about himself twisted Frank's mind in complicated knots, but he held his tongue, wishing to become the bigger person if they should continue an unspoken feud of sorts. Frank didn't exactly consider it a feud, not when he barely grasped what stirred between them, which direction they were destined to go.

"It's just that— if we're friends . . . it isn't a good idea. I'm not the most pleasant person. I would end up disappointing you."

Frank pushed aside his pride to connect his eyes with Gerard's. He was struck to discover the faint anguish burning within them, as if all of his behavior contrasted with the truth of his thoughts. The silence thickening between them was full of patience stretching towards Frank for his answer. Regardless of what Frank saw inside Gerard's eyes, an instinct at the back of his mind knew better than to be so forgiving after taking the continuous blows of Gerard's uncontrolled mood swings, most of them coming across as improperly rude. Frank offered his kindness openly for it to be torn to pieces and sprinkled back into his opens palms once holding it out invitingly. Frank didn't take kindly to being treated unjustly; being the bigger person be damned.

"What the hell makes you think I want to be friends with you anymore?" Frank stared at Gerard in outrage. "I tried being nice to you. You treated me like you can't stand me. There's no excuse for that. Is this how you treat everybody who's ever tried talking to you?"

Surprise flickering across Gerard's face almost had Frank smug. "No . . . no. I'm sorry for offending you. Sometimes it seems like I'm watching myself speak without any control over it."

Frank huffed. "Sure. Look, if you secretly regret saving my life, it's not so secret, okay? I get it. You don't need to pretend you have no problem with me when I already know you do."

Pure shock openly shifted Gerard's expression, hurt brightening his eyes, the most genuine reaction Frank had ever seen to something he said. Frank's heart dropped, skipping a beat.

"I don't regret saving your life, Frank. Is that how you feel?" Gerard's velvety tone swooped down into a hushed sound carrying an outward gush of new dejection Frank could sense. It wrapped around him, an unwanted embrace. Frank suppressed a shiver and continued to stare at Gerard.

All in the frame of a second, Frank felt the barriers stripping down before him, a concealed truth baring itself the day it did the first time Frank's eyes heavily connected with Gerard's. He believed the tidal waves of ancient sadness unfurling in lashes of liquid hurting clashed with the frigid temperatures of a mysterious front bathed in loathing. The antarctic conditions rattled Frank's core and as the empath within was provoked, once again, the writhing began seeing the creature hidden behind the mask of bitterness baring its teeth to protect itself. The guard lowered and for once, in a matter of many days, Frank couldn't find the strength to harbor the poisonous taste of hatred for Gerard. As much as he longed to curse the gift of another form of sight, Frank couldn't stop the shaky intake of breath shooting through his teeth, coating his lungs in the fragility flowing from Gerard's eyes.

As Frank's demeanor shifted, Gerard's frustration rose again in combination with his truth. He searched Frank's eyes, studying his face, as if struggling to understand the person underneath the same way as Frank. Something inside Gerard was calling to Frank when he stripped the solid outer layers of himself to become vulnerable. Frank couldn't disregard the pull that wasn't there before. His heart quivered, and he took a stumbling step towards Gerard, his lips parting in surprise at his own instinctive move. He imagined Gerard's hands twitching, almost like he too nearly moved forward, but his restraint held him back. Frank couldn't believe the warmth forming in his own eyes that warned him of the beginning of teardrops. He was so tremendously moved that it was causing Frank to react in ways he'd never reacted to another human being before. Gerard was stunned by the appearance of glistening wetness framing Frank's eyes, his perfect lips falling slightly open at the sight.

Frank sucked in another breath and found relief when Gerard's gaze abruptly fell away. Frank's shoulders slumped and he scrambled, grasping his backpack tightly as it slung across his shoulder. It felt like his soul had become elastic while ascending from his body and it crashed back inside his body like the impact of a rubber band being stretched to the limit and suddenly released. He struggled to keep his interior emotions concealed, choking on the breaths tangling up in his lungs and scraping at the inside of his chest.

Frank glanced at the clock as reality crashed back into him. The tardy bell trilled just as his eyes read the number the hands landed on and he jolted in his spot.

"Shit!" Frank hissed. He moved to bolt, but Gerard's voice made his movements stutter.

"Wait." Gerard breathed. Frank nearly looked at him, he was so close, but he knew if he looked into Gerard's eyes, he'd never show up to class.

Frank hurriedly retreated with a pounding heart and moistened palms, feeling Gerard's eyes following him until there was no possible way for him to see Frank anymore.

The cold wind brushing up against his cheeks on his sprint to the gym also blew into his eyes that watered from before. Confusion tore him asunder as the teardrops spilled and he scrubbed them away in frustration, wishing he could take away the red tint living under his cheeks if it meant he had no reminders of seeing into Gerard's eyes to the point where he physically couldn't hate him for anything he did, because the truth of his actions was that he never acted out of spite. Something prevented him from being true. Frank wished he was indifferent, a normal human being who couldn't tell what others were feeling unless it was blatant or verbally shared. The weight of any degree of sorrow rested on his shoulders each time he met the eyes of a suffering soul pretending to socialize in an inconspicuous manner, but Frank knew what lied beneath their nonchalant expression.

The current unleashed under Frank's skin from where Gerard's fingers wrapped around his wrist, although it had been concealed, flourished in tingles all through his arm. Frank continuously shook at the sensation, even clasping his wrist and massaging the area in hopes to chase it out, but the seeping chill and electricity was stubborn. Frank couldn't fully concentrate during gym, which resulted in multiple losses of balance and bumping shoulders with active classmates participating fully in the class's activity. Frank wasn't sure how to stomach his reaction to the touch, to the depths of Gerard's eyes boring into his own, and how his mind began to recognize the ethereal arrangement of his entire being now that he couldn't bear to keep a film of crimson resentment over his eyes each time he glanced in Gerard's direction. His voice resonated in Frank's head, asking if Frank truly believe he regretted saving his life, and the question came with a begrudging answer; Frank wasn't certain if Gerard came to regret it anymore. His confidence was destroyed. After viewing the man behind the glass for such a brief moment, Frank knew there was much more to disentangle than he ever comprehended, and he began wondering if Gerard's apology was genuine. What kept Gerard hidden behind a barrier of glass? Could it have been unspoken fears polluting his sense of security?

It didn't explain his refusal to accept Frank as a friend, which knitted Frank's mind struggling to shape around everything he witnessed. Frank wasn't certain if they were a match in the friendship area; Gerard's magnetism and wildly intriguing face clashed with Frank's normalcy and decent looking features. Beside Gerard, Frank was practically another species of human, too average to compare at all. Was it possible Gerard was pretentious underneath it all and became aware from the second they crossed paths that their combination was sour? For some reason, Frank's chest ached to think of it, and he wasn't sure if it was only out of insecurity. He battled to suppress the flood of emotions that lingered like a steel ball in his stomach and the stinging in his eyes that renewed each time he thought back to what he gathered from Gerard in the classroom. His heart sank into his gut each time he remembered it as if the misery was all his own.

Frank walked to his truck at the end of the period and stood beside it for a moment. He took a much needed breath of fresh air and pressed his forehead against the cool door of the truck, relishing in the way it brought down the flush in his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he felt calm enough, he twisted around and moved out of the way when the two cars beside his truck went to slide out of their spaces. He waited for them to back up, and when he returned, his eyes instinctively traveled across the gap. His heart stilled when his gaze connected with Gerard's. Gerard was stood by the hood of his silver car, waiting for his family to arrive. His head was turned, his olive and golden eyes somehow visible like a lantern's light from the distance. Frank dreaded the moment their stares touched, prepared to sink again, but all he felt was the compelling gravity from earlier, intensified. Frank's breath tangled in his throat. His muscles tensed and it was difficult to look away— Gerard captivated him. That much he couldn't deny. But the pull was new, flourishing by the second, and Frank wasn't sure if he wanted to look away after a minute passed them by. Judging by Gerard's awareness of Frank and his drilling stare drinking Frank in as if it was his first time viewing him, he felt the same; unable to turn away. Frank's heart sunken down in his lower gut abruptly shot up to his throat and pounded as loudly as a war drum. Gerard's eyes glistened as if he heard it.

To his dismay, Frank's staring game with Gerard was interrupted by Frances coming over, jovially greeting him. Frank snapped out to the trance and turned his attention to her, his eyebrows raising. He blinked away the remnants of the strange sensation and hoped his flush wasn't too obvious.

"Hey, I'm glad you're still here." Frances said with pink cheeks that weren't her usual, and the same went for the timid sound of her voice.

"Hey. Did you need something?" Frank asked, clearing away the thickness in his throat. His eyes darted veins Frances and back to Gerard who stood with a faint smile on his face, his head turned towards the front. Frank's curiosity sparked.

"Yeah! Well, no, not like that." Frances chuckled. "I wanted to ask you something, actually."

Frank rose his eyebrows and tried to keep his eyes on Frances out of respect. "Sure, shoot."

"I had to grow a huge pair of balls to even think about asking you this." Frances bit her lower lip, the pink in her cheeks brightening. "So, the winter dance is coming. You knew that."

"Yeah?" Frank felt a trickle of panic at the back of his skull.

"I was wondering if— if maybe you'd go with me? As my date?" Frances fiddled with the tail of her braid and began fidgeting. "That's totally a yes or no question. Don't spare my feelings, I'm a big girl."

A wave of guilt ground against Frank's heart beating quicker now that he was faced with a decision to make with Frances right in front of him. Frank was already decided about the dance, but with being faced with an invitation, things changed. Doubling his anxiousness knotting in his chest, the connotations hinted at something Frank wasn't braced for; Frances's feelings that went beyond friendliness. Frank never wondered if she could see him that way, nor had he thought of her romantically despite thinking her beauty and personality were exceptional. Romantic feelings never developed between any of those observations, they were only facts to Frank. She claimed she could handle rejection if that was Frank's choice, but Frank couldn't be cruel, the guilt punching through him just thinking about him turning her down was enough to make him wonder if he should even do it.

"I . . . wow, I — I didn't expect that." Frank nervously chuckled. "It's not often the girl asks the guy."

"Well, it took a lot of encouragement." Frances beamed. "It's empowering, too."

"I bet it is." Frank shifted nervously, licking his lips and toying with his lip ring. "I didn't think you . . . you know."

"I just thought it would be nice!" Frances quickly jumped in. "Since Adam is going with Kayleigh, I sort of wanted a date, too."

Frank was relieved by her reasons, but the energy she exuded begged to differ, and he couldn't believe he failed to read into it. One thing caught his attention. "Kayleigh said yes?"

"Yup, she was just telling me about it." Frances bounced on her heels.

"Wow, I need to congratulate Adam sometime." Frank said somewhat distantly, aware of the exact moment Gerard's eyes turned to focus on his face. He swallowed hard and struggled to continue. "Well . . . I don't know if I'm the best date for you, Frances."

Her face fell to Frank's distraught. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't know, I feel like you'd click better with someone another activist and feminist with a brain as big as yours." Frank blushed. "I believe in those things too, but I'm not — I don't go to protests and stuff."

"You don't have to go to protests for me to want you to be my date." Frances shook her head. "You're cool. I feel like we've gotten pretty close in a short amount of time."

Frances was the one who reached out most, although Frank didn't consider her as much of a best friend as he did the people back home who felt so distant after the minimal to no contact after moving away. Frank scrambled for another excuse to make as quick as possible. It struck him quickly.

"Oh! Wait, I just remembered I'm not gonna be in town that weekend." Frank pretended the realization just hit him.

Frances's eyes widened. "What, really?"

"Yeah— I confused it with another weekend. I'm going to California. I'm sorry, I forgot." Frank hoped his excuse was passable. He'd rather let down Frances another way than risk hurting her.

Frances seemed a bit glum over the news, but she folded her lips understandingly, nodding her head. "Don't stress it, dude, it's okay. Plane tickets aren't cheap."

"I'm really sorry."

"Relax, I can't take it personally."

"I'd go if I could." Frank hammed it up a bit to chase away the disappointment he sensed in her.

Frances perked up at his response. She beamed, her cheeks peony pink. "Thanks, Frank. Hey, will you at least come to Adam's party this Saturday? I'm not sure if he told you about it yet."

Frank's instinct was to shrink away from the idea of being at a social gathering filled with people he didn't know aside from his friends, but he felt guilty shooting down Frances twice in a row. Frank forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, what time?"

Frances perked up more if it was possible. "It starts at 7. But everyone always turns up either too early or too late, so it doesn't matter what time you show up, really."

"Fun." Frank chuckled nervously.

"He's inviting people from the school down in Warrenton, he's got a bunch of connections."

"I can't promise I'll befriend everyone, but I'm open to meeting them." Frank was screaming in frustration inside his head.

"Awesome. I'll catch you later." Frances quickly pecked his cheek before flitting away, her hand cupped over her mouth.

Frank's dumbstruck expression froze on his face which he lightly touched after he took a small moment to process what Frances bravely stamped on his cheek. Crimson burned under his cheeks. At the sound of muffled laughter, Frank's eyes wheels around in the direction and landed on Gerard who moved around to the driver's side of his vehicle while his siblings filed their way towards him, his eyes beaming but his lips pressed tight together to conceal his laughter. He met Frank's accusing stare and a smile slipped, the radiance causing Frank's breath to hitch before he corrected himself. His entire face flushed hot enough to defrost his body that was practically transforming into an ice cube in the frigid temperatures outside. Frank pivoted, nearly slipped on the damp blacktop, and fumbled with the door handle. As soon as he landed inside the truck with the door slamming in his wake, Frank shoved the keys in the ignition and barreled out of the school limits.

That night, after Frank was finally able to deeply fall into the well of sleep after struggling to let the exhaustion overtake him, confusing images flashed through Frank's conscious along with fragments of mix-matched dialogue before a comprehensive scene materialized. Frank was wandering through the disorientating and infinite green of Astoria by himself. The cold didn't reach him in a dream, but the sense of loneliness combined with the panic of being lost was as vivid as any emotion he felt while fully awake. He stumbled through the piles of leaves and the fallen branches, nearly tangling into the endless obstacles falling into his unknown path. He started aggressively shoving at them, breaking into a frantic sprint, but the aggravating slowness of dreams made his legs feel as though he pulled them through pools of tar. Leaves and pine needles caressed his face like patronizing little fingers belonging to mocking entities telling him he'd never break free from the clutches of the woods. Frank yelled at them to stop, ripping at the branches, then teetering to an unsteady stop.

In the distance, someone stood there. They stared through the shadows until the darkness began to creep away from them. Frank squinted through it and realized the person staring from afar was Gerard. He was luminously pale in the evening glow, but the brightness of his eyes were swallowed whole by a daunting red visible to Frank even if he was out of reach. His stoic expression was still as stone, so was the rest of him as he stood there. Frank's heartbeat thudded and his body shuddered, recognition turning into a desperate form of need. Gerard was his only way of escaping.

"Gerard!" Frank called out brokenly. He took a step forward, only for the distance to expand. Gerard's silky chuckle echoed through the trees. In a quick flash, he circled the surrounding area, then, he landed in front of Frank, so startling close that Frank could feel the strength of his presence sinking under his skin. He stared down into Frank's eyes, his own darkening without any visible emotion other than intrigue that didn't match with his immobile stance. Gerard was suddenly Frank's only hope.

"You've gotta help me." Frank panted out. He reached out for Gerard, only for him to move his hand away, cocking his head at Frank.

"Are you lost?" Gerard asked in the same tone one would speak to a child in.

Frank swallowed dryly and bobbed his head in a nod. He moved closer, needing to feel the heat of Gerard's electricity emitting mysteriously from him. Gerard's silvery chuckle floated through the air like a river. He touched underneath Frank's chin, his fingers so icy that Frank shivered, but it wasn't only from the conditions of his skin. Frank stared imploringly, praying to find a savior in Gerard again. The red eyes gleaming in the visible moonlight ominously flickered.

Then, Gerard was suddenly much further away, no longer within reach. His back was turned as he retreated in the opposite direction, abandoning Frank to fend for himself without guidance in the wild brush seeming to find no end. Frank's panic sparked strongly as ever, his heart shattering at the betrayal after believing he'd be whisked away to safety again by the one resembling a fallen angel cursed to live on earth. Frank reached out, calling for Gerard, all to no avail as the figure in the distance began to gradually grow further from view. Fog swelled and rose over the ground, engulfing Frank within it, and he cried out for Gerard in the misty burial sending him careening to the ground in a fit of gasps as the gray fog streamed into his throat in a suffocating film clogging his lungs.

Frank woke up gasping furiously. He was stricken by chills wracking across his body as he shuddered in bed, sweat matting his hair plastered to his forehead. The blankets were askew and a pillow resting at his side before he fell asleep was lopsided resting on the ground, a shadowing causing him to startle at the beginning, but he choked around the ragged intake of breath mingling with his already pumping breaths working his lungs. Frank sat rigid in the center of the bed, his heartbeat jackhammering against his ribcage so incessantly that Frank wondered if it would permanently stay unable to find a calm rhythm again. Fragments of his nightmares collided with his intake of reality and the intensity of its memory had Frank rubbing at his temples, his brows furrowing deeply as a grimace worked over his lips. He wiped the lingering sweat away from his forehead and peeled the blankets back from his overheated body.

The repetitive image lingering that perturbed Frank the most was the crimson irises replacing the astronomic earthy tones of Gerard's eyes. They pierced through Frank's mind and continued to penetrate every portion of his being in icy blows crystallizing all of his limbs. Frank shuddered against them eerie sensation and swallowed hard, running a heavy hand through his hair dampened at the roots with sweat. As the unsettling images wrenched his insides in a twist of intuitive knots, Frank began to wonder if the nightmare was somehow a message spoken from the quietest chambers residing at the back of Frank's mind. It hinted at a far more ominous truth pooling in a chalice he was unwilling to drink from at the start, but as the shadow of his conscious wandered closer while he remained planted to the earth, the desire to learn what resided in the golden cup called to him with the mesmerizing pull of a siren. The fragments clenched in his palms were not shards of something broken, but rather clues to a portrait yet to be completed.

Frank stomped to the restroom to splash his flushed face with cool water. He ran it through his hair with raking fingers, running damp hands over his hands and across his neck to drain the heat from his body. The icy chill of the tap water revived him somewhat, and he shook his hands dry in the sink, staring up at his reflection once the tap was shut off. His eyes seemed painfully normal to himself after viewing the enchantingly unorthodox gaze of Gerard always weighing in on everything he couldn't reach while looking into Frank's eyes. As if he rummaged through every surface to find what was hidden beneath, searching for treasure he was certain Frank hid, but nothing was worthwhile, and Frank wasn't certain how he could convince Gerard nothing aside from the painfully ordinary was waiting to be discovered. As much as Gerard avoided Frank, each time their eyes connected, something reached out to Frank. It sounded like the muffled sounds of a weeping orchestra obscured by the miles of a roaring ocean swallowing up all signs of life that dared to venture closer. The waves warded Frank off before he could detect the source of the sound calling out to him.

In the dream, Frank despaired over Gerard leaving his side. He wasn't so sure if reality was all too different from the nature of unconscious images.

——

Let me know what you think!! Happy New Year, I hope everyone is happy and healthy.

"But I threw you the obvious just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy."

-rosexo