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"As the sun hits, she'll be waiting, with her cool things and her heaven. Hey, hey lover, you're still burning. You're his song." 

— 'When the Sun Hits', Slowdive.

The sunlight reflected off Gerard as though he was weaved together from the most ethereal crystalline substance known to man. His skin presented a film of thousands of diamonds ground into fine powder and instilled into his flesh, making a masterpiece out of him whenever he stepped into the sun. The glistening of it against his porcelain complexion instantly reminded Frank of angels, thinking Gerard bared a resemblance in multiple ways, but the jewel-like appearance of his skin ultimately earned him the title of a living, breathing angel in Frank's eyes. 

Frank was speechless. He had no idea how to convey the admiration and wonder he gave into. It was either gaze on in a state of silence or give the utmost adulation. He was once mesmerized by the meadow, now the beauty almost seemed dimmed in comparison to Gerard who had rolled his sleeves up in order for Frank to drink in more of the otherworldly radiance of his skin. Frank had no clue how Gerard would ever fear something like this could possibly draw him away. If anything, it filled him with the desire to be closer than ever, running his fingers along Gerard's skin to discover if it all felt smooth or if he'd be able to feel the texture of diamonds within his flesh. 

It wasn't until Gerard was near that Frank broke out of the temporary enchantment resting over his mind. Gerard was incredibly cautious, watching each of Frank's movements and facial expressions. His hesitation wasn't strong enough to prevent him from resting his hand gingerly within Frank's that remained held out to him the entire time. Frank was almost startled by it, but he instantly made everything about his demeanor as welcoming as possible so Gerard wouldn't tear away from him unexpectedly. 

Frank's eyes fell down to Gerard's perfect hand held still in his. He could see the colorful reflections flashing among the pure white, a luminosity Frank was beginning to believe didn't even exist in the priceless jewel he took after. The coolness of his skin only doubled the effect that Gerard was delicate and any sudden movement could splinter and shatter his exquisiteness. 

Frank's lips fell open and he could only murmur one thing. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." 

When Gerard's hand vanished, Frank's heart physically hurt. He looked up to find Gerard had taken a step back, shaking his head in disapproval. 

"Don't you understand, Frank? It's all an illusion. Something to lure people like you in so it's much easier to tear into you." Gerard's strangled voice wordlessly advised him to keep his distance. 

Frank's face fell. "You're not using it to lure me in."

"I may not be, but it doesn't make it any less difficult to see you fall under some sort of spell when you look at me." Gerard's self loathing came to the surface and broke out a serious of spindly icicles guarding his internal meadows that looked identical to the one they'd found. Frank was pained by the unexpected lashes, flinching away. 

"This isn't superficial." Frank's voice came out broken. "The reason I love you is not just because I think you're beautiful, it's more than that and you know it is." 

Gerard's eyes were pained. "No . . . no, Frank. I just can't make sense of it no matter what becomes of us, no matter the way we feel about each other. Everything about myself is essentially a trap. This covers up the monstrosity of what I really am." 

"What monstrosity?" Frank scoffed softly. "You mean the person who forces themself to live off of something unsatisfying just so they won't have to hurt anyone? The person who's risking everything just so they can be with the person they love? If that's what a monster looks like to you, Gerard, then you might want to take a look at your surroundings. A vampire just killed my mother's friend and left her to rot in the ocean. Are you saying you're anything remotely similar to a person like that?" 

Frank could hardly call them a person from the lack of a soul or empathy drawing them to commit such heinous crimes. Feeding may have been essential, but cruelty was a whole other portion of the brain that lived separately from instinct. 

Gerard groaned. "You don't know the thoughts I've had, Frank. I need to be fully honest with you about them so you can make your decision today, but I– I need you to understand these thoughts have the potential to change your mind about me completely." 

Frank wasn't convinced. By that point, he felt them curving back to where they began, causing his stomach to plummet as he addressed the possibility of heartbreak once again. A flash of impulsive anger nearly caused him to lash out as he once did, but he pinched his mouth shut and considered this was the moment Gerard had warned him about since then. Frank could at least lend his willingness to listen even if he'd already made his decision.

Backing up, Frank's eyes never left Gerard. He approached the center of the meadow and gradually sank down onto a patch of soft grass surrounded by swaying flowers that tickled him. Without gesturing, he invited Gerard to sit beside him. If he didn't, Frank would beg him if it was needed, but Frank allowed some time to pass simply observing to see what Gerard's next move would be. 

Gerard, although afraid, slowly padded out towards him. When he sank down beside Frank in the grass, it took everything within Frank not to connect their hands and bring Gerard close to inspect the glimmering quality of his skin, mapping out every inch exposed to him in wonder. 

Frank waited patiently for Gerard to brace himself and collect everything he wanted to say. Their eyes connected for a moment where Frank sensed just how vulnerable this made Gerard, leading him to feel guilty for ever having irrational anger. Gerard was truly terrified of losing him and there was no way for Frank to safely assure him he could never as long as Gerard was convinced the power of his words could abruptly cause a change in him. 

"I suppose we should start from the beginning. I hope you're willing to venture into the past even if it isn't the most pleasant thing to remember." 

Frank's nose wrinkled a bit. "I won't lie and say it's my favorite thing to think about, but... I'm willing to dive in if it's necessary." 

"It's vital, actually. It all started since the very first second." 

"Of what?" Frank asked softly and silence swelled shortly after before it was broken again.

"Do you remember the day we met?" Gerard began as softly as the wind. "Not the day we introduced ourselves... the day we first saw each other." 

How could Frank ever forget. Being reminded of the anguished onyx eyes burning like liquid fire with a special hatred just for Frank made coldness web through his heart. It wasn't a memory he enjoyed revisiting, but he forced himself to in order to nod in acknowledgment of Gerard's question. 

"I've always told you how different you are compared to the rest, Frank. Not just for  your abilities or your mind that's silent to me. But one thing you should know is the way your blood sings to me, and mocks me. It's the only thing that's cruel about you, but it isn't your fault, it never was." 

Frank looked up in alarm. "How do you mean?" 

Gerard sighed deeply and casted his gaze downwards in shame. "Most vampires struggle with the desire for blood at all times. A whiff of a human's scent can drive us into a hungered frenzy if we haven't practiced our self control enough. I used to be the same until we fell into the flow of our diet and learned to pin our hunger onto something else. I've always had things under control, for so long I never faced irrational thirst and I'd grown so accustomed to being surrounded by humans that it was almost effortless for me... until the day you sat beside me."

Frank swallowed against the dryness in his throat. His hand reached up to loosely curl around his throat on instinct, but as Gerard's eyes quickly darted up to follow the movement, Frank's hand fell away. Gerard smiled ruefully, shaking his head slowly. 

"Is this a mistake?" Gerard whispered.

"No," Frank said immediately, "You can tell me. I need to know." Silence fell between them for a long string of time after until Gerard was ready to continue on. 

"It was the first time I'd wanted to kill someone in decades." Gerard's tortured voice reflected his endless sea of guilt Frank sensed still lived inside him, icy and unforgiving. The confession pulled a flinch from Frank, more out of surprise by his bluntness than anything. His heartbeat scampered— the worst part was knowing this information all along yet choosing to disregard it in favor of everything that tasted of an antidote over the burn of poison. Frank still didn't spiral into a well of fear. If Gerard's desire overcame everything, Frank would be just as lifeless as the body recently washed up on the shore, and it was a calming thought that allowed his feet to touch the ground again. 

"Okay," Frank said, his voice raw and raspy, "What— was it something I did? Something about me that set you off?" 

"The sweetness of your blood is like nothing else I've ever smelled before. It's terribly enticing, and sometimes it feels as if it only flows through your veins to torture me."

Frank's heart split with a single fissure running along the surface. He looked down immediately, horrified that he was more of a temptation to Gerard than anything in the world and became a source of his suffering. 

"So I'm hurting you without even realizing it?" Frank choked out.

"No," Gerard whispered, instantly touched by regret. "No, Frank, it isn't like that. This is only the first part. I need you to hear everything before jumping to conclusions." 

Frank stared with large eyes imploring Gerard to enlighten him. Gerard nodded as franticness burned in his dark emerald eyes, his hand twitching towards him but deciding to remain at his side. 

"I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt like everything I'd built was coming undone in an instant, each of my instincts were encouraging me to throw everything away just to get a single taste, as horrific as things sounds. A monster had reawakened in me and longed to do the most ghastly things I don't consider my own thoughts for how awful they were. I don't want to hurt you, Frank, your heart is too precious for me to break, but... you believe I hated you in the beginning. I did." 

Frank almost got up to leave, suddenly feeling sick from the hurting, but Gerard's hand entrapping his own and pulling his gaze to his in a beseeching hold made him freeze. He sensed the melting of the ice in Gerard's aura informing him that what he had in store wasn't all painful even if the beginning stung deeper than the tail of a scorpion. 

"Gerard, I can't— you can't just say things like that to me, even if it's the truth. I know you don't mean to hurt me, but it's impossible not to while you're saying you hated me, I just—" 

"I promise there's more to it. I couldn't be so cruel to you, Frank, you know I don't have it in me to leave you hurt." 

"I know there's more if you're here with me now, but I—" Frank swiftly cut himself off with a watery breath. "It's a lot to take in. I'm sorry." 

"I know. More than you think. But I'm asking for you to trust me, trust that the bleak parts are temporary." Gerard managed to convince Frank not to take off sprinting with his pleading tone, the desperate shimmer in his eyes. Frank wasn't certain how such a twist in his gut could be undone with the fluidity of words alone, but he was willing to find out. Any chance to resolve the soft agony the subject caused him. He watched Gerard carefully, nodding his head slowly for him to continue. 

"I... I did hate you briefly. But only because everything about you was so magnetic. Like a siren's call— not only your blood. The way your eyes looked into mine for the first time and saw everything within a matter of seconds. The softness in your voice when you took mercy on me and saw beyond this grotesque monster that was rising to the surface. You tamed it in one fleeting moment and for a couple of seconds, it was just me staring back into your eyes, not him, blown out of my mind by your empathy that surrounded my heart and hasn't let go since. It was enough to convince me that I needed to escape you at least until I could gain control over myself again so I wouldn't hurt you. Through bloodlust stronger than any kind I'd felt before, I still felt the urge to protect you. No human has ever made me feel so intensely before." 

Frank wasn't aware of the tear streaking down his face until the breeze cooled it rapidly and it felt too frigid against his skin stained scarlet in his deepest blush yet. He made no move to wipe it away. Yes, Gerard had been right after all, there was much more beyond the brutal beginning nearly shattering Frank's heart for good. He understood why so few people longed to listen to the truth; it was a difficult thing to digest and stare in the face, nothing was kind in the truth, but in some scenarios, there was more to unfold. The domino effect setting off something far less bleak and ridden with darkness. 

"So that's why you disappeared for a while. You had to gain back control over yourself?" Frank whispered. 

Gerard nodded reluctantly. "I went off to stay with an old friend in Washington. I needed time to remind myself of who I am and the kind of person I need to be. Would I succumb to this foul creature I've been keeping hidden this entire time? I grounded myself thinking about how disappointed my family would be in me. How your new friends and your loved ones would be devastated. How I'd never be able to live with myself once the darkness cleared away and you were limp in my arms, silent, those beautiful eyes dull and void of any life. I'd been set back so far in a single day, I felt incredibly stupid and powerless for allowing it to happen." 

"Fuck," Frank breathed. "Fuck, Gerard. I had no idea. I sensed things may not have been what they seemed like, but I— I just thought you couldn't stand to be near me. I was breaking my mind trying to figure out why." 

"Any resentment I felt wasn't because of your person, if I were human then I'd immediately be fond of you." Gerard let a trace of longing slip into his voice before he smashed it down and his lips twitched into a frown. "It was partially my fault. I hadn't fed in three weeks and I was beginning to feel the effects. I wouldn't have experienced thirst quite so strong in your presence if I had been properly fed." 

"Is that why you're able to be closer to me when you're like this? Your hunger subsides for a little?" Frank looked between both of Gerard's eyes glowing from the excess blood he'd consumed recently. 

"It doesn't subside entirely. But makes things easier. I've forced myself to be around you when I haven't fed to grow used to it. It's a way of building my self control as much as possible so I don't have to keep my distance forever." 

Frank nodded. At least there was the faintest loophole, if one could consider it a loophole at all. Things were bizarre in their situation. 

"So... my scent. This is another thing that helped you keep tabs on me while I was in St. Helens, right?" Frank recalled Gerard mentioning something about his ability to track scent on their way towards the meadow. 

"Yes. Thankfully, yours is so distinct that I could effortlessly find you when trouble stirred." Gerard wandered off into his thoughts as he spoke. "Even if I hadn't tracked your scent, I would've found you through their thoughts. Their repulsiveness radiated off them for miles." 

Frank suppressed a shiver at the memory he fought not to revisit, otherwise it brought a tremble to his fingers. "Right. I'm sorry, I just had to ask— I'm spilling over with questions every time I'm near you, it's hard to hold them back." 

"Don't apologize for your curiosity. I understand." Gerard said empathetically. 

Frank stared down at his own hands for a long moment. "What does it feel like? Physically?" 

Gerard appeared as though he didn't want to answer, but he felt he owed it to Frank to go ahead with it. He stiffly turned his head, looking straight ahead. "It burns. Like a wildfire that can't be controlled."

Licking his lips and sucking in a small breath, Frank nodded, ignoring the instinctive way he wanted to blame himself. "Continue with your story? I'd like to hear more."

"I returned to my family first. Kristin had been keeping them informed, updating them on my wellbeing and all the possibilities I was combing through during my time away. They were horribly concerned– not only for me, but for you, for themselves. If I lost control and gave into my urges, we'd have to start all over again, or worse, our secret would be exposed. And we'd all live with the burden that I'd taken an innocent human life I so desperately did not want to tear away. That was when I was confronted by all of these visions Kristin was having. A life you and I would share that I desperately yearn for now, but at the time, I did everything I could to deny it. I didn't see how it could be possible for me to love you purely without this vile factor coming between us. It was before I knew the kind of person you were and how effortless it was to adore you . . . to be filled with wonder each time you spoke or glanced my way. Perhaps it was a little clouded in the beginning, but it's not as bad as it was the first moment we met." 

Frank looked down at both of his hands and his eyes traveled to the insides of his wrists where blue veins were visible under his skin. He pondered on how delicate his flesh must've seemed to a vampire desiring to rip into him. He almost flinched thinking Gerard had wanted to do the same, but mostly out of guilt knowing his mere existence was a constant hardship Gerard needed to face even though he cared for him. He was saddened by it still, wishing the circumstances could be different in any slight way. 

"I wish I knew some way to help with that, but... I can't exactly switch my blood out." Frank chuckled mirthlessly. "Would it be easier? If I had normal blood?" 

Gerard contemplatively stared off into the trees for a moment. "Maybe it would be."

Frank's heart sank. He swallowed down the hard truth; he'd wanted it after all, hadn't he? He released a fluttering sigh and accepted it as it came. 

"But now, I don't wish you had ordinary blood." 

Frank's face twisted in confusion. "Why not if it would take away all this difficulty?" 

"Your blood is just one of the things that make you special. You're so easy to detect in a crowd of thousands. I can pick you out in seconds and think, 'this one is mine.'" Gerard's softened smile caused Frank's breath to catch. 

Frank was his. Wholly, undeniably. He reveled in the fact that Gerard thought so as well. Frank scooted closer to him on instinct, his fingers grazing Gerard's and encouraging his palm to face upwards. Frank took his hand between his own and lifted it close to his face to watch the way the sunlight danced along the crystals in his skin. As his fingers gently smoothed over it, he was able to determine despite his skin's appearance, he was soft as ever. He thought about the ways the hand he held was capable of destruction and could hardly believe it. He gazed down at a hand that had devised a plan to end his life without him even knowing... yet he still wasn't afraid. 

The part that yearned to tear Frank apart had been tamed and quieted for enough time for Gerard to declare the circumstances safe enough to venture out further, approaching Frank warily. Once he'd grown accustomed, the person he truly was surfaced more and more each day, a being that wouldn't imagine laying a single harmful finger on Frank. Frank's heart ached thinking about how excruciating it must've been subduing a beast in a short amount of time. 

"I already understood to some extent that this is hard for you, but I didn't imagine how hard it must be." Frank delicately traced the lines in Gerard's palm with his pointer finger. "I don't get how you can think you're a monster when you've risked so much just to protect me." 

"I'm revolted by the things I'm capable of." Gerard whispered, a haunted sound. 

"Just because you're capable of it doesn't mean you'll do it. People are perfectly capable of killing each other, but many of us could never harm someone that way." 

"I can turn a rock into dust just by holding it in my fist. I can snap an animal's neck with a twitch of my hands, it's not much different for humans." Gerard explained with disgust curling his mouth. "I don't hurt people... but knowing I can and resisting the urge to do so is horrific in itself to me."

Frank looked up and found Gerard avoiding his eyes. A pang rang through his chest of something hurtful, but the pain wasn't all his own. "I'll most likely never be able to convince you you're nothing like the way you see yourself, but at least you can confide in knowing I think you're the furthest thing from a monster." 

Gerard struggled to digest it, but in the end, he swallowed it down and nodded slowly. There was one step forward; Gerard holding back his urge to immediately object. Frank hid a faint smile. 

"Are you alright?" Gerard's eyes raised and examined Frank's features over and over. "Now that you know everything. I understand it's almost too much to take in at once."

"I think I'm fine. Still reeling." Frank said distantly and swam through all of his emotions to get to the core of his thoughts on what he'd learned. "I just . . . it's incredible to me that you think I'm worth all of the trouble." 

"Every ounce of struggle has been worth it. Not only do I get to enjoy your company, but in a way I feel stronger than ever." Gerard flipped his hand around in a blur stunning Frank so he could caress the back of Frank's hand so tenderly it felt like a kiss. "I'm susceptible to moments of weakness, but... the more time we spend together, the less those moments can interfere." 

"I'm guessing that's why we haven't really—" Frank paused, chuckling once bashfully and out of a bit of embarrassment. "We can touch, I suppose, but not a lot. There's things that are off the table, right?" 

Gerard's fingers froze up for the smallest of seconds that Frank even considered if he'd imagined it, from judging from the timid look falling over Gerard's eyes raising to meet his, it wasn't just Frank seeing things. 

"All in due time." Gerard hid the smallest smile and looked away in his rare sheepish manner Frank adored. "It's a bit astounding how you could want to be so close to someone like me." 

"It's astounding how you think I wouldn't want to be close to you." Frank softly bounced off what Gerard said. "You know, that day where you said you wished I wouldn't, um. Tempt you like that. It's the same kind of feeling I get sometimes, if you need something to help you understand."  

Gerard's eyes wandered over every inch of Frank's face leaving behind a new kind of warmth in his gaze's wake. A touch of apprehension tainted it, his brow furrowing. "This such a strange reaction for you to have after I confessed I regularly struggle with trying not to kill you." 

The bizarreness being spoke out loud in such a way had Frank snorting. Laughter involuntarily spilled from him, bringing a nervous smile to Gerard's face as he was unable to decipher if Frank was humored or going into hysterics. 

"I'm fine, I swear. I'm not going mental." Frank had trouble composing himself. "I never thought it was easy for you to be around me. It was difficult for me to hear, but in a different way." 

"What kind of way then?" 

Frank's smile faded. "I don't want to make your life harder than it already is. From what I'm guessing, you didn't choose this life, but you have to work with it anyway because there's no cure. Then here I am, practically flaunting a challenge of a lifetime right under your nose when you weren't nearly prepared for it. And I don't mean to. "

"Of course you don't, Frank. I told you, it isn't your fault, it's not as if you can choose the kind of blood you have."

"It's just. It's a little ironic how no one in the world has ever tempted you so much, but I do. The only person you want to be with happens to be the only person you want to––" Frank bit back a wince. "You don't actually want to, but." 

"They say that you need to work hard to earn good things in life. This must be the obstacle I need to overcome to earn your affection." 

Frank's heart fluttered. His lips curved down into a frown. "You already have it." 

Gerard gathered both of Frank's hands into his. His thumbs stroked along the back of his hands, refusing to meet his eyes as the pucker between his brows returned, but it was more of worried fold. 

"Do I?" Gerard whispered. "Could you still love me, even while knowing all of this?" 

Frank understood this was the point where he'd make his final decision. It was an effortless thing to face because despite the way he almost came undone that afternoon, there was no other option for Frank when his heart had been claimed for some time now. There was never a yes or no choice; it was always about running to Gerard no matter how many miles he needed to travel. 

"The answer has always been yes, Gerard. Just like you said, it's always been inevitable. I wouldn't know how to live a life you're not a part of." Frank turned his hands over to slip his fingers through Gerard's capturing the light and twinkling like he was made of the constellations Frank gazed up at unknowingly all his life. Or perhaps the rarest jewels derived from sunken treasure, assembling the most precious artifact that would ever walk the earth. Frank discovered him buried in darkness and pulled him towards the light to reveal him in all of his glory, adoring every part that gleamed and winked under Frank's second favorite thing, sunshine. Gerard had taken the place as his first favorite treasure. 

Gerard's surprise gradually melted into the most tender expression. "So the lion fell in love with the lamb." 

Frank breathlessly chuckled. "What a stupid lamb." 

"What a sick, masochistic lion." 

Frank felt the decision seal around them, bonding them tight. They'd been resting at an understanding with an impending thing hovering over them, but now that it had been squandered, there was nothing but bliss to follow through on. Frank no longer had the task of convincing Gerard he was worthy of all the care he received from him; he plainly understood now that Frank wasn't waiting for an opportunity to dash away. Frank's heart latched onto Gerard's when it found no heartbeat and decided to become the steady drum Gerard missed out on during his immortal life. Frank's heart beat for the both of them.

"It's perplexing how you've listened to this and managed to find some way to feel at fault for it." Gerard caressed a lock of hair from Frank's face. "I was afraid that if you didn't run away screaming, you'd be upset with me." 

Frank's brow furrowed. "Some parts were hard to hear, they didn't last for long. I'm not mad because I understand. As much as I can, anyway." 

"I'm sorry you had to listen to those parts. I'll always hate that I ever felt that way about you." 

"It's okay, love." Frank kissed Gerard's hands and kept them in his own. "This helps me in a way, yeah? I can be a little more cautious. I'm not really sure how yet, but I'll do my best." 

"My goal is to ease us out of this situation somehow, even if it takes years. I don't always want to  balance on thin ice. You deserve a normal relationship, you shouldn't feel obligated to be so vigilant." 

"There's no obligation here. It's just," Frank took in a low breath, exhaling slowly. "It's two people who really fucking care about each other, there's just a few obstacles in the way. I think we can manage that if we're both equally willing to find our way around them." 

Gerard absorbed Frank's words, eventually agreeing silently. His eyes fell to the grass beneath them, lashes long and curved at the ends. "I've never been with someone before. How do, um. How do people do this nowadays?" 

Endeared to no end, Frank almost cupped his hands around his face and pressed kisses all over his perfect face. He abstained and instead let out a small laugh. "I'm no expert, don't get me wrong. My guess is we go on dates and talk a lot. Uh, plenty of the stuff couples like to do during their free time nowadays is totally x-rated, so that's a no, unless holding hands is appallingly obscene to you." 

Gerard's bashful expression returned, alight with shyness and amusement. "Holding hands is definitely indecent. We'd be putting on a show for our classmates if we did that in public." 

"Just wait until they see us hug, they're gonna start calling me the town harlot." 

Gerard let out a symphonic laugh Frank followed up on with a laugh that wasn't nearly as pleasant as his. Gerard pulled his hands from Frank's, almost making him panic, but Gerard offered a soft smile as he sank back into the grass to lay in it. He gazed up at the sunlight as if it was his first time drinking it in. He shied away from it not, letting it dance along his skin and soak into his coldness  in hopes of gaining some heat of his own. His eyes calmly shut and he floated into a state of tranquility, not a breath in his lungs to move his chest so he was glorious as a diamond statue resting in the meadow. 

Frank settled beside him. The grass was slightly damp beneath him, but he enjoyed the contrast of coolness compared to the bold warmth of the unadulterated sunlight. He smiled a bit as the colors radiating off of Gerard's reflective skin bounced over his clothing and his human skin, giving it the smallest dose of the same glory Gerard was bathed in. He thought about how he'd never seen Gerard so calm before, so free of his troubles that he was practically a new person. Frank wasn't guilty to say he preferred him that way. Watching Gerard struggle was a difficulty of Frank's own and he often felt conflicted trying to find ways to absolve his pain even if it wasn't his responsibility and Gerard made it clear it never was. 

And Frank had never felt so content to lay in the sun. It was a familiar friend he welcomed any time he saw it, but today felt vastly different. His pores absorbed it, the oxygen felt clean and undiluted working through his airway, and he wished he could drift away in this feeling for the rest of his years. Frank didn't miss California for once. He wouldn't be able to lay in the meadow if he still resided there and he most definitely wouldn't be resting beside the most wonderfully unorthodox vampire of all time. 

Gerard opened his eyes and turned his head to find Frank gazing at him. His lids were heavy over his eyes like he was sleepy, but it was only a state of zen since Gerard wouldn't be able to find sleep even if he disappeared into his own head. Frank wished that was something he could share with him; the peace of sleep. Frank knew restless nights and times where his mind was too active to allow him to drift, but he also knew heavy nights of dreams and soft breathing, the comfort of releasing all tension and escaping reality for hours. Frank would love to sleep beside Gerard. He wondered what his dreams would look like if he was capable of creating them. Would they include Frank the way Frank's included Gerard? 

"You're thinking so deeply," Gerard murmured quietly. "I wish I could hear it." 

"If you ever wanna know, you can just ask me." Frank whispered back. "I was thinking about dreams and sleep. How I wish you could still experience it." 

"I get close enough to it if I close my eyes and let my mind wander. Coming up with visions and stories in my head." 

"Is that what you were doing just now?" 

Gerard hummed and nodded. "I was imagining what it would be like to walk on the beach when the sun is out without the fear of being spotted." 

Frank's lips curved up. "You'd love it. The sun feels almost the way it does now, and the sea breeze is so cool, even in the summer. The sand is warm if you walk on it without any shoes. The water's always pretty cold, but I like walking in it anyway. I'd get lazy to visit the beach back in California, but I wish I'd done it more now that I'm in a place where there's nothing quite like that." 

"Maybe I'll find a private beach someday and we can go together. I'd hate to miss out on something like that." Gerard's bright emerald and brown eyes full of contentment pulled Frank in. He mustered a dumb nod, having yet to fully comprehend what had been said to him while enamored by Gerard's beauty like this. 

Frank was moved by the urge to touch him. He knew there were limitations, as always, but something about the lack of caution on Gerard's whole demeanor left more room for them to continue moving forward. Frank had chastely touched him before, nothing too lingering even as it held all the sentiment in his body, but his fingers itched to follow the path of Gerard's features, trace the line of his throat and the curve of his collarbones peeking out from under his sweater. He wondered if he'd be allowed. 

Frank could only experiment and see where that lead him. He hoisted himself up onto his elbow, gazing down at Gerard. Gerard's eyes followed him in calm curiosity. Frank sucked his lip ring as his heart frenzied in his chest. He reached out with a slight tremble in his hand for his fingertips to graze the cheek barren of a blush or human warmth. They traced around it in a tender touch, brushing away a lock of raven hair that had fallen onto his face. 

Gerard's breath hitched, but he made no move to deny Frank's touch. Frank swallowed hard. His fingertips worked down his cheek to the corner of his jaw, shifting to gently stroke along the shape, marveling over how Gerard didn't shatter like glass under his hand or evaporate like a mirage too good to be true. Frank cupped his hand around Gerard's cheek to feel how his hand shaped around it perfectly,  like he'd been moulded exactly to hold his face like so.

 Gerard's eyes slipped shut blissfully, completely still. Frank couldn't resist stroking his soft skin with his thumb in a loving sweep. His fingertips then traveled to the perfect line of his pointed small nose, moving upwards to trace along the space above his angled eyebrows, running into more strands of unruly hair. Frank circled around until he met the corner of Gerard's perfect lips ever so slightly parted. Frank's breath quivered like his hand as the pad of his fingers swept over a smooth lower lip, then the bow shape of the top, yearning filling him to the brim. 

Frank settled for gradually leaning in for Gerard to sense his warmth and know he was coming. Frank's lips might not have been able to meet Gerard's without him deciding it was safe to do so. Instead, he held his breath and guided his lips the bridge of Gerard's nose to press the faintest kiss there like the twitching wing of a white moth. His skin was cool and soothing to Frank's vivid flush. Gerard laid still as Frank's lips then moved to his peacefully closed eyelids, giving them kisses, and pressing his final offerings to his cheeks. 

Frank meant to pull back, but a hand curving around the side of his face stopped him only centimeters away from Gerard's face. Gerard's eyes fluttered open to meet Frank's grown wide in question, almost panicking to see they were so close as he thought of Gerard's struggle to keep in control while near him. Frank couldn't bring himself to protest. He soon relaxed as the rational part of his brain told him Gerard wouldn't allow for anything to happen if he wasn't prepared for it. 

"You're beautiful." Gerard whispered, just as enchanted by Frank as Frank was by him. It made an explosion of something colorful and homely ricochet through his insides and nestle deeper to stay there forever. Frank hadn't felt so beautiful until now that Gerard's thumb was pressing down on his lower lip and tracing the curve, fascinated by the lip ring hooked through it, perhaps a bit mesmerized. Frank's eyes were halfway shut as he grew drunk on the feeling coursing through him. 

They slipped shut as Gerard's lids fluttered and he moved a centimeter closer to brush their noses together, Frank's shaking soft breaths fanning against Gerard's mouth that was slightly parted. Frank was a ball of anticipation threatening to burst at any second. His heart hammered so harshly it ached, but Frank savored the way it spread through his chest and couldn't deny its reaction as Gerard closed the distance between them and ever so gently laid his cool lips on Frank's. 

The emotion flooding Frank's senses was not to be mistaken as solely his own. The second Frank's lower lip was between both of Gerard's, the final boundary that still separated them imploded and allowed their hearts to reunite like long-lost lovers. Frank almost gasped and choked on his breath as he was plundered beautifully by Gerard's requited emotion mixed with his constant state of wonder that was almost too much to bear. Frank felt the way Gerard's cold lips instantly warmed once they were attached to his own, extracting some of the warmth to borrow it temporarily, and Frank only wished to kiss him deeper in hopes of gifting him with the permanence of pleasant heat. Frank allowed the caress of a thousand petals to welcome him home, a place full of the sun which lead Frank to believe this was the reason he'd always felt most complete while in the places that provided the same warmth. 

The kiss was soft and laced with hesitation on Gerard's behalf as he put his self control to the test. His concentration was palpable, but no more than his desire to make this connection, to savor the taste and texture of Frank's lips.  He slowly sat up and Frank immediately followed because he wouldn't bare to end the kiss so soon. He tilted his head the smallest bit, one hand caressing the side of Gerard's face. Frank parted his mouth slowly, feeling Gerard yield beneath him instinctively, their breaths mingling for the slightest moment until it was all too much for Gerard to handle. 

Gerard had no choice but to reluctantly pull away, but he cupped both hands around Frank's face and kept their faces close to practice his resilience. Frank was gasping, finding the only breath he'd taken was the moment when their lips parted to move together, so brief that it wasn't enough to satisfy his lungs. His skin was burning with the ferocity of a blush he figured couldn't have been easy for Gerard to be so close to. Gerard's eyes were wild both in shock and two different forms of hunger, but only one kind made Frank shiver under an onslaught of tingles. 

"Gerard," Frank breathed, "Maybe you shouldn't––"

"No, it's fine," Gerard cut in with a strained voice, "I need to stay like this. I need to know if I'm strong enough to allow myself something like this." 

Frank nodded. His heart was throbbing almost all the way up in his throat like he'd sprinted several miles without stopping. The cool hands cradling around Frank felt strong, but their grip wasn't severe enough to harm him. Frank curled his fingers around Gerard's wrists and leaned his forehead against his. 

"You're a lot stronger than you think you are." Frank whispered to him. 

"So are you. I can hear your heartbeat." Gerard managed a joke while trying his best to compose himself, a faint laugh slipping out. Frank smiled softly at him and shook his head. 

Gerard only required a minute longer before the brewing of an incessant hunger was quieted and pushed to the back of his mind. He took a deep breath to level himself and his hands slowly slipped away from Frank's face. He pulled back an inch, but kept their close proximity and his eyes cracked open and Frank was able to look into their infinite green again. Frank smiled reassuringly at him to guide him the rest of the way to a place of shelter hiding him away from the troublesome ways of grappling onto his self control to avoid disaster. 

"I suppose you're right," Gerard began to smile, "I'm stronger than I thought." 

Frank's mouth spread into an elated grin. Lightness and joy went hand in hand as he was finally able to soak in the fact that he'd been given his first kiss with Gerard. His lips tingled in memory of what had felt like elegance grazing his skin, a timid motion of Gerard's mouth gaining a sample of him and falling into a state of adoration with what he discovered there. Frank's lips felt as though they were blushing along with the rest of his face, a dizzy feeling circling above his head. 

"Was that— was that okay for you? Aside from the... the bloodlust?" Frank couldn't believe the sound of himself as a question spilled out which he instantly regret. He nearly slammed his palm against his forehead before Gerard was cutting into his chagrin with a beaming expression, tucking an overgrown lock of Frank's hair behind his ear. 

"Aside from the 'bloodlust'— it was wonderful." Gerard gazed at Frank so endearingly that his stomach turned over excitedly. "I'm relieved that I have enough control over myself to do that. You have no idea how many times I've thought about it." 

"Oh," Frank refrained from giggling. "Well... if we're exposing ourselves,  I can admit I've thought a lot about it, too." 

"I know." 

Frank's eyebrows lifted high up. "I thought you couldn't read my mind?" 

"I can't, but sometimes, your expressions lay you out like an open book. Also, you're not very discreet with where you look." Gerard's eyes smoldered as he leaned in to press a kiss to Frank's eyebrow. Frank groaned, squirming, but broke into laughter as Gerard slung an arm across his waist and sent them falling back onto the ground beside each other. 

Frank drifted to make himself more comfortable on the padded ground, folding his hands on his stomach as he observed a cloud that was shaped like the palm trees he came across thousands of times back home. A permanent smile was fixed on his face and couldn't be easily wiped out of existence. 

"Tell me more about this place." Frank looked around at the colorful flowers and the line of trees out in the distance. 

"I enjoy coming here because the sun is more likely to peek out from time to time due to the higher elevation. Having to hide from the light makes me crave it. I have Kristin keep tabs on the forecast in this place so I can pay it a visit if the sun is expected to come out." 

"I'm sorry you have to stay away from the sun all the time. I'd probably go nuts if I had to sacrifice that just so I could pass as human." Frank hardly survived in his current conditions, he couldn't imagine living an immortal life shying away from the light. 

"I get my much needed dose now that I'm here." Gerard's eyes wandered across the blue sky. "I crave... warmth. You could imagine living as an undead creature, one can only long for the heat." 

"Do you feel cold all the time?" Frank turned his head, saddened by the thought. 

Gerard pressed his lips together. "It's difficult to explain. I'm not exactly cold all the time, neither am I warm. I live in a state between both, perhaps the slightest inclination to colder temperatures. Living in places like this does nothing to help that. But we need to reside in towns where the sun hardly shows itself." 

Frank tangled his fingers together atop of his stomach in thought. He chewed his lower lip left with a tender sensation from his kiss with Gerard and quickly released it out of fear of drawing away the remnants he wanted to keep there until they were able to have a repeat. 

"You can always come to me for warmth." Frank said quickly, words almost slurring together from how fast he wished to expel them before he lost the nerve. Color bloomed over his cheeks. "I have plenty of it." 

Gerard's smile was sentimental. He took up on the offer by approaching slowly enough for Frank to hold his breath instinctively while anticipating him. Gerard curled into Frank, gently rearranging himself and slinging a gentle arm around his waist as he laid them both in the grass, his head gently resting on Frank's chest. Frank was still, unable to believe his reality consisted of this type of closeness, and he only knew bliss as Gerard's saccharine scent wafted underneath his nose as it was threaded through his hair. Gerard contentedly sighed, melting into Frank's body as he listened to the thrumming flutter of his heartbeat under his ear, soaking in the warmth emitting from him. Frank hoped the amount that built within his chest could be absorbed; it was a unique sensation rightfully belonging Gerard, so it only made sense for him to retrieve it. 

Frank brought his hesitant hand to the back of Gerard's head. His fingers gently parted some of the strands, relishing in the softness and the normalcy of knots deep within the layers that took away some of the disbelief coloring his mind in a film. Gerard hummed softly, appreciatively, at Frank's tender touch never going beyond the pressure of daisy petals brushing fingertips. Frank placed a kiss at the top of his head, quietly breathing him in, savoring a moment he feared deep down would dissolve underneath him to never appear again. His skin as it brushed the alabaster of Gerard's was human, far more textured and shadowed by the sunlight he stood in during his days in a permanent summer. Together, they were as different as the sun and moon, but as they eclipsed, the brilliance of their phenomena was a moment deserving of worship to be immortalized as the tale of two forbidden lovers finding their paradise in the shadowed corners of the earth. 

They laid together in their eclipsed formation with their eyes shut until they sensed the sun above them being swallowed up by a familiar blanket of dark clouds. Frank's skin still hummed from the warmth, it engulfed him even as he squinted in disdain up at the change of weather. It meant it was time to part before they were caught in the rain. 

"I don't wanna leave." Frank murmured softly. 

Gerard's arm around his waist tightened the smallest bit. "I know. I don't either. But I promise we'll return here as many times as you'd like. This can be our place." 

Frank's lips lifted up in a delighted smile. "Our place. Yeah, I like the sound of that." 

Gerard sat up— reluctantly, but the peace in his expression made Frank's stomach fill with a hazy eruption of butterflies. Gerard's fingertips brushed along his own cheek, bringing a smile to his face. 

"Feel how warm you've made me." Gerard took Frank's hand so easily that it stunned him momentarily and he brought it to the very same cheek he grazed. Frank felt his own heat sticking to Gerard's skin and taking away the persistent cold he forever lived in. Frank was relieved he did the trick of being his warmth and all he carried inside his chest has successfully made its way to him. 

"I guess I'll be your mobile space heater from now on." Frank jested. 

"It's much more than that. You're like my personal sunlight now." Gerard pressed a kiss to the center of Frank's palm. Holding onto his hand, he lifted onto his feet and gently guided Frank to his, not doing much to conceal his smile at the dizziness Frank exhibited. Frank was past feeling humiliated by his enchantment, it was no use burying it when Gerard knew how he felt. 

"Let's hope I have the same amount of luck not tripping and dying on our way back." Frank breathed out a laugh that was half nervous, half humorous. 

Gerard's eyes sparkled, a touch of excitement reaching them. "Actually... what if I told you I could get you across in a matter of seconds?"

Frank looked on with a perplexed expression until realization circled above his head. His eyes gradually widened and his mouth parted. "Oh. That might be a little more scary, I don't think you've ever ran at full speed while carrying the weight of a whole human being—" 

"You're as light a feather to me, Frank," Gerard smiled reassuringly. "Here. Climb up on my back." 

Dubiously, Frank raised an eyebrow. "There's no way you wouldn't feel it if I climbed on your back." 

"I picked you up without an issue on our way up here." 

"That wasn't the same thing." 

Gerard tipped his head back and his laughter floated up towards the sky. "You get increasingly more stubborn by the day." 

"You should know that by now," Frank smiled, "Look, I'll just be extra careful. I promise I won't sprain my ankle or get my leg chopped off. I can't guarantee how long I can keep that promise, just to warn you." 

Before Frank could put one foot in front of the other to begin a striding step forward, he sucked in a sharp gasp as an arm curled around his waist in a swift motion moving faster than act of his lids falling over his eyes in a brief blink. Another arm came up behind his knees and knocked him off his feet, but before he could fall, he found himself being cradled in Gerard's arms securing him in an unyielding hold as though he was a blushing bride awaiting her wedding night. 

"I told you I was fine with walking!" Frank squawked– he wasn't that helpless and clumsy, he was certain he could watch his footing carefully enough to prevent tangling himself up with the brush. 

"Don't you want to know what it's like to run with a vampire?" Gerard's glamorous smirk fixed Frank into a near state of surrender along with the allure of his offer. Frank had been curious about vampire speed, but the way they went about it was a tad ridiculous. 

"Well technically, I wouldn't be running if you insist on carrying me like both my legs are broken." Frank couldn't resist his remark, drawing an elated laughter from the vampire whose sparkle unfortunately began diminishing in the disappearing sun. 

"So you agree climbing up on my back would be better?" Gerard arched an eyebrow and anticipated Frank's' defeat. 

Muttering something sour under his breath while failing to withhold a faint smile growing in size by the second, Frank nodded and was automatically placed back on his feet. Gerard turned his back towards him and crouched slightly, a sight Frank observed apprehensively, chewing his lower lip. He tentatively stepped forward and hopped on, gasping at first, but he was immediately supported by Gerard as his limbs wrapped around him tightly to avoid slipping. 

"I've never done this before," Frank said in an aggravatingly breathy way, "I really don't know how I feel about this—"

"Darling, you really shouldn't doubt a vampire's strength so much." Gerard chuckled and began walking towards the parting of the trees. "I hardly feel you at all. I could walk across the entire country with you like this without encountering any trouble." 

"Now you're just showing off." 

Gerard responded with a breezy laugh. "You just wait until we take off. You ready?" 

Frank squeezed his eyes tightly shut in fear of motion sickness and tucked his face into Gerard's neck, focusing on the sweet scent radiating off his skin and the closeness of his body as his limbs tightened around him. Gerard grabbed Frank's hand momentarily to press a kiss to his palm before releasing his hold and taking off.

The sensation was equivalent to the flight of hummingbirds. How they fluttered through the air with grace, the beat of their wings so delicate as they batted in the air with a low hum, effortlessly gliding before an eventual landing. The speed was the force of wind without the ferocity leaving reddened cheeks and stinging eyes. The air was a solid temperature of coldness as Frank huddled close to Gerard, stiff as a board to prevent from falling, but he allowed himself to relax as Gerard's firm grip on him was unyielding and sharp enough in reflex to never let him fall back. Gerard didn't need to heave clumsy jagged breaths in and out of his burning lungs to catch up to his speed; he didn't need to breathe at all as he traveled at the speed of light. 

The world was a blend of colors that appeared like a splatter of oil paint when Frank's eyes cracked open the smallest bit to glance up. It spun around his dizzyingly fast and his brain wasn't quick enough to process so many changes in image at once, but the smudges of forest green and brown and the silvers of nearby creeks was a work of art weaved together by the god of nature blessing humanity with their work. 

It felt like it had just begun when it drew to an end. When they slowed, Frank's eyes were still wide from drinking in the rapid blur of his surroundings, realizing Gerard hadn't exaggerated at all when he stated his speed was truly extraordinary. As amazement kicked in, Frank lifted his head away from Gerard's neck completely and drank in their new setting–– the exact clearing where they'd parked Gerard's car, a place that should've taken approximately a half hour to get to. 

"No fucking way," Frank whispered, a startled laugh rising in his throat. "We're already here?" 

"I told you." Gerard chuckled, keeping Frank perched on his back alert and full of bubbling laughter. 

"That was so fucking cool! God, why didn't I leave my eyes open for the entire way? I swear I only opened them for a second and it was just... it was beautiful." Frank circled his arms around Gerard's neck and brought his grinning mouth to his ear. "Can we do that again?" 

"As much as I'd love that, little dove, we need to get you out of the woods before it starts pouring on us." Gerard tilted his head back to glance in concern at the sky. "Kristin told me there would be a downpour later in the day. I suppose the time has come." 

Frank pressed his lips against the side of Gerard's head. "I like when you call me sweet things." 

"You're certainly the sweetest thing in my life, you should feel like you are." 

Frank carefully unhooked his legs from around Gerard's legs and allowed himself to bounce back down to his feet, completely weightless as a dopey smile rested permanently on his face. He was a little dizzy, but he didn't mind it. Gerard turned towards him with a similar grin and swiped his thumbs across his cheeks. 

"A bit of wind burn?" Gerard tenderly asked. 

"That's just my annoying habitual blush. It happens a lot. I'm sure you've noticed, you'd be blind not to." Frank didn't feel the heat beneath his skin, supposing he'd grown used to it, but didn't entirely rule out the possibility of wind burn from lifting his head for the smallest moment to savor the feeling of gliding like an immortal did. 

Gerard's eyes swept over his features, fixing on his lips, and before Frank could lift to the tips of his toes, Gerard was leaning down to connect their mouths in their second kiss. Similarly to the first time, the rush of blood under Frank's face intensified and tingled behind his lips accepting the cool touch of Gerard's. However, he knew to be more delicate, allowing himself to be kissed and softly returning it instead of leaning in too eagerly and risking overwhelming Gerard. He reveled in the way Gerard's thumbs continued to stroke over his cheeks, and that time when their mouths parted, Frank held his breath despite the way his head swam. 

He found them moving, backing up until Frank was gently pressed into the side of the car he hadn't been aware was so nearby. Only then did he gasp, eliciting the parting of Gerard's lips and the softest accidental touch of his tongue. Frank shivered at its appearance, his hands speaking for themselves and reaching up to tangle his fingers into his locks. Gerard's intake of breath was shuddery, unneeded but so human that it was almost simple to pretend they didn't originate from opposite worlds. As Gerard drew their lips shut and soon pried them open again in a deep rhythm, Frank's knees trembled, warmth flushing through his entire body. He pressed every inch of himself against Gerard, the tip of his tongue grazing Gerard's beyond his lips, eliciting the smallest hint of greed fueled by desire. A small moan escaped him.

When Gerard pulled away, he lingered closely enough for Frank to swear their lips had never parted. He foolishly attempted to chase Gerard's mouth, but Gerard held him at a distance, making a small sound rasping around the edges; a sign of his struggle. Frank froze up and pulled his head back, allowing some space between them so Gerard could recuperate as needed. Frank would need to instill more careful habits in him if he ever wanted to expand on moments like these. He banished all thoughts of what he'd revel in if no restraint needed to exist between them and settled for gaining his air back, stroking a hand along the tangle of Gerard's locks to soothe him. 

"God, I wish I didn't have to stop." Gerard roughly whispered. 

Frank tried not to shiver and failed. His eyes fell down to Gerard's mouth, finding the most curious glint capturing his attention behind his lips. As Gerard ran the tip of his tongue along his lower lip and sucked in a grounding deep breath, Frank caught sight of them for the first time. Behind Gerard's perfect upper lip was a set of gleaming white fangs with razor sharp points that could easily tear through human flesh. 

Gerard noticed Frank's discovery. He appeared ashamed at first, but he suppressed it when he found no sign of fear or disgust in Frank's face. Gerard's pointed finger poked against the tip of one fang, curling his upper lip back to reveal them. 

"Strange, isn't it?" Gerard murmured. "Thankfully I can tuck them away whenever I want. They appear whenever hunger strikes me particularly hard." 

Frank meant to step away to give him space, but he was pinned against the car still. He assumed if Gerard hadn't sprinted off, it meant he was floating back down to earth. Frank tore his eyes away from Gerard's mouth in case he grew uncomfortable under his prolonged stare, but his gaze kept drifting back. 

"I didn't think you had any. I've known about what you are for a while and I haven't seen them until now. I've thought about it, but it seemed like too personal of a thing to ask about." Frank resisted from pressing the tip of his own finger against the peak to test the severity. There was something about the way they poked out from behind Gerard's mouth and grazed his lower lip that had Frank fighting back a smile. "They're– I know this might piss you off, but I like them." 

Bewildered, Gerard stepped back, one unimpressed eyebrow raised. His teeth unfortunately slid back into their hidden place and returned some normalcy to Gerard's face, but only a tad since his beauty alone was too exquisite to be human. Frank swayed awkwardly against the car in regret of his words, blood burning behind his face. 

"You're the most befuddling human being I've ever come across," Gerard broke the ice with his laughter. "That's a statement I never expected to come from you, but I should have never doubted it would." 

Frank toyed with his lip ring for a moment. "We're in the modern age, don't you know everyone has the hots for vampires? I never really considered myself a fanatic, but..." 

"I fear for your sanity sometimes." Gerard scooped Frank into his arms, pressing a cool kiss against his temple. "Your chariot awaits you. Let's get you out of here before the rain comes down full force." 

Frank nodded, drunk off the sweetness of Gerard's kisses, and swept himself into the car just as the faintest mist of rain began falling over the earth. 

——— 

And they're finally together. Officially. I'm so excited! i've been looking forward to writing this beautiful meadow scene for so long, it's my absolute favorite part of Twilight and it brings me great joy to recreate my own version of it. I hope you liked it and found beauty in it the way I have! 

Let me know your thoughts, as always I love to hear from you guys. 

-rosexo