You don't see each other for a month.

Not that either of you plans it that way. Between Yoongi's album pre-release schedule and your tour, you are literally never in the same city. Work drives every personal emotion out of your mind, leaving you with this strange empty feeling. In between the chaos and the commitments, you still text each other, sending an odd voice memo, and maintaining repetitive low energy conversations. Most shows end so late that your days and nights blend into one another.

Lily and Monica both make efforts to ask you where are you at with him. But you really have no answer. He makes no further advances, and you're much too stressed to make any yourself. But you don't let go of him and convince yourself to not expect anything either. It's only fair since you had started creating the distance between the two of you in the first place.

The only time you see each other's faces live is a video call that V does on the day Jasmin Bloom, his song featuring you both, releases. It does just about okay, keeping in mind the BTS standard, but your DMs and comments are flooded with armies' messages. Because Yoongi and V had such high expectations from the song, it ends up becoming a bit of a joke between the three of you that it didn't do that well. Still, the value of some things lies simply in the experience of them.

Monica updates you on DK's case from time to time. He has maintained his distance from you, and is much too occupied saving his ass from court to focus on anything else. You are finally working on kicking him out of the one place you should have a long time ago - your own head. You don't want to live your whole life hating him or wondering when he would crop up again. It was time to have a little faith in yourself, in your people, and in the life you had built.

Prakriti has recruited a media veteran as a Board member in DK's place. And you've finally let your association with the foundation out in the open. Now, your fans know that part of your concert sales will go toward your own foundation, as they always have.

Between rushed texts, sleeping on the go, and intense never-ending performances, March shifts into May. You finally land in Seoul to stay for at least a fortnight before the Asia leg of your tour commences.

The first week back, all you do is sleep. There's no strength left in your body for anything else. One day, when you're sorting through your closet, you spot the hoodie you wore at the Palm Beach airport. You never did wear it again. Sweet memories.
But wait - you thrust your hands in its pockets. Maybe it's still there? And it is.

The button.

You had accidentally ripped it off Yoongi's jacket during the commotion outside the toilets. It makes you laugh.

"Aigoo, you were soo into him even then, Y/N," you sigh. As you fidget with the silver-black button, it hits you with the force of a wave.

You miss him.

That empty feeling that doesn't leave you. It's the absence of him, of the way you feel around him, the feeling of you - safe, happy, liked just how you are. You blink. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

But you couldn't even call him. He was - if you remembered his schedule correctly - on a flight from Amsterdam to Incheon.

You lie back into the pile of clothes and stare at the ceiling. The setting sun fills your room with its orange glow. Gentle hums of traffic down below are the only sounds around you, except for a stray pigeon cooing on the balcony.

Okay.

The only way to stop this beautiful evening from turning into a depressive night was to go out. You drag yourself into the shower and come out feeling a bit better. What to wear would depend on where you were going, but where could you possibly go at -

The doorbell rings. You frown. No one was supposed to be here. Lily was off on a date. Monica did not share what she did in her private time with you. And she had strictly commanded you to not exert yourself in this break.

You slip a lavender cardigan over your strappy top and shorts and approach the security screen.
One look at it and you find yourself opening the door out of sheer surprise.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a flight?"

Yoongi furrows his brows under the baseball cap. "Am I?"

You motion him to come in, "to Incheon?"

He laughs as he takes off his shoes. "That was yesterday," he pauses to take you in - fresh, flustered, all your hair on one side - "if you want to memorize my schedule, at least do it right."

You shrug, trying and failing to act cool, "no that's not what I did, nuh-uh."

"Where's your phone? I tried calling you before coming," he looks around the hallway, waiting for your directions.

"Probably - around somewhere..." you look at him as if you're seeing him for the first time. He's in a black leather jacket and loose pants of the same color. Longish dark hair combed back. Proud eyebrows. Eyes back on you.

 You clear your throat and offer him a pair of sliders.

"Come on in,"

He follows you into the sunlit living room, until you stop suddenly and face him. He halts close to you, "what?"
You squint your eyes, "the next day of Incheon means right now shouldn't you be -"
" - back at the airport waiting to catch a flight to London," he nods, "I wanted to see you first."

You blink.

"Well, I'm glad you came," you murmur. Something is different about him. No more looking at the floor even when you're this close. He meets your gaze as if he's waited forever for this moment.

He's here. Still new, but very much a part of you. You suddenly wish for a hurricane. Anything to ground the flight he's supposed to catch.

He clears his throat and looks at the floor with a tiny smile. "Can we talk about the thing we never talk about?"

"Ye - yes?" Your head comes back to earth from the clouds.

Both of you wait silently for the other person to say something. He ends up chuckling.

"What -?"
" - you're bad at this -"
" - how am I bad at this you started I'm listening -!"
" - are we a thing?"

You open and close your mouth like a goldfish. The sun is in his eyes and it's affecting you more than it's affecting him.

"Do you want us to be?" you pout a little defensively.
"I'm asking you!"

You bite back the urge to laugh at how worked up he sounds. If he's up for it, if he wants this as much as you do, you want him to stay. There is no doubt about it in your head anymore. But you won't let him have it so easily. You put your hands on your hips. "Why?"

He smirks ever so slightly before speaking, "Because I really like you, Y/N."

So blunt for a songwriter. You feel the color rising up to your cheeks. Meanwhile, he continues, his voice low, shifting closer to you, "I care about you  so if you feel it's worth it, I would like to give us a chance."

"Ah..." you murmur while looking at your feet. You're feeling way too much to be able to look at him anymore.

 Suga pauses. A part of him feels that you are up for this. Still, his entire body is tense. What were you thinking? Did he ruin it? He wants to take your face in his hands, to make you look at him - but he hesitates -

"I guess..." You look up.

"I guess what?" He scrunches his nose. What the heck did "I guess" mean?

 "I'm just thinking..." you go real close to him and squint in mock doubt.

"Don't play with me, Y/N," his tone is low. Dead serious. You've put your hands behind your back.

It's making your collar bone stand out more than usual. Suga swallows, resuming his search for an answer on your face.

You get on your tiptoe and plant a gentle kiss on his lips. He tilts his head when you step back, pleasantly surprised at your reaction.

"I like you too," you begin softly, "from your cute nose to your cute ass -," you giggle at the way he raises his eyebrows, " - I love how you speak your mind, how you don't take anyone's bullshit, how you genuinely listen and try to understand me, and that you're probably a better communicator than I am - and I love what we have, So yeah, Yoongi, I'd like us to be a thing too."

His ears are pink. And even though he's got his mischievous face on, there's a tenderness in his eyes that you've never seen before.

He wants to kiss you back, but before that he wants to clear something up.
"We kissed on my birthday," he says in a matter-of-fact way.
Oh. You step back and look past his shoulder before answering, "yeeup."
"You didn't like that?"
You look back at him in surprise. "Oh, I loved it. It's just that," you pause, trying to phrase your thoughts properly, "I don't like mixing alcohol and emotions," you've gone back to staring at anything except his face, "and I didn't want to start - us - like that. And I wasn't just tipsy, I was dead drunk - I felt so bad the next day - especially in the light of what you'd said - which was a lot by the way -"
" - what I had said?" he looks confused.
" - yeah, your - whole - statement of feelings -"
Yoongi raises his arms, "Ani - please tell me you don't mean the things I - you are not supposed to know Korean!"

He doesn't quite remember everything now, but it was definitely TMI. There was definitely a mention of retirement and kids there somewhere. A whole lot of TMI.
It's your turn to look mischievous, "I understand it well enough."
He gives you a long look before letting out a long sigh. It's so cute that you burst out laughing.

"You seriously didn't figure it out?" you ask, incredulous. You remember your own responses giving you away pretty clearly.

"Aagh," he touches the bridge of his nose in embarrassment.

"Now I understand why you were avoiding the topic,"

"Now I understand why you did not avoid the topic," you giggle.

There is a pause in which you watch him collect himself.

 "We got off to a weird start," he mutters in Korean.

"Kursseyo. It's a good sort of weird with you somehow," you bite your lip.

Suga takes you in. It takes everything to reign in the wave of affection he's feeling towards you. He suddenly had something to look forward to once the tour ended. It was weird. The good sort of weird.

But why hold it in?

"Can I give you a hug?" he asks.
"Obviously,"
He pulls you close.
"Ah, I've missed you, and I'm already missing you. This is unfair..." he whispers.

A lot of what you could say in reply you put in the hug, in the kisses you plant on his ear and his cheekbone and that beauty spot near his nose. And he does finally kiss you back. It warms you more than the evening sun. You free your hands for a minute to let the cardigan slip off you and help him out of his jacket. While you let your hand run through his unexpectedly soft hair, he kisses your right earlobe, slipping down to your neck and your shoulder.

"Umm, Yoongi -" you try to talk but his hands are in places that are very, very distracting, "trust me I don't want you to stop but are you sure you're not going to miss your flight?"

He pulls away, fidgeting with a strand of your hair before replying, "what's the point of being a global pop star if I can't reschedule an airplane?"
You raise your eyebrows. "Mmhmm."

He could have you any way he wanted to.

When he wakes you up a few hours later, it's very much against his wish. You looked so peaceful while sleeping. And he felt so peaceful sleeping next to you. Would he never have more time?
"You have to go?" you speak in a groggy whisper. You had been home for a week now and yet when you slept it was as if you had passed out. It didn't help that this felt even more homely because you had wrapped yourself around Yoongi at some point. He kisses the tiny dimple on your shoulder.

"I'm not going to war, Y/N," he snorts.

"Ha ha. Get out then," you try to push him away but he doesn't let you.

"You could still say something nice. We won't see each other for months and this is how you want to send me off?" he touches the bridge of his nose again in mock sadness.
"Aww. Let me just say - you're very important to me, Yoongi. And that you're the best thing that has happened to me in years. And just so you know, I am not letting you go easily. You're my namchin and I'm your yeochin for everyone except the press."

 He makes such a cringe face at 'namchin' that you end up laughing by the end of the sentence.

 "Wait, do I call you oppa or -"

"- just the name, for god's sake..."

"- you really do look like a cat sometimes -"

"- that's it, I'm leaving -"

He grabs his phone to call the car.

In between the jokes and the cuddling, you make peace with the fact that he does have to go, and that it's not the end of the world.

-unedited-