With just four days left until you leave Seoul again, you waste no time in preparing a new course of action for Prakriti, involving only a small core team from the foundation that you trusted. You knew what you had to do, and you were ready to do it. But there was one other person who deserved to hear about your plans.

"Seyeon. We're doing it," you say as you sit by your usual window seat at the forum.

"Doing what?" Seyeon asks, confused.

"Prakriti," you say, "Let's organize a campaign. The team of scientists and designers are doing some pretty innovative work - I think I owe them my full, public support."

"What - really?" Seyeon's eyes light up.

You spend the next two hours coming up with a probable plan to incorporate the foundation into your existing brand.

"I'll update the PR team," Seyeon informs you as you prepare to leave.

"Yeah. But first, I have to address a board meeting - make my humble introduction. And there are some administrative changes we need to vote on."

"I see - you're going to vote to remove DK, aren't you?" she smirks.

"Sort of. He hasn't actually embezzled any money yet - so I won't - can't - kick him out. But he isn't competent enough to lead the organization either. So, we're going to shuffle things a bit. I seriously hope it works..." you finish nervously.

"I'm sure it will. DK's incompetence is obvious even without you giving a speech on it," she mutters, "you should focus on the board meeting while we'll work on a press release for later..."

Meanwhile, you mull over what Mom said when you and Monica met her the day before. She had finally taken out time to have a video conference with you both and shared some interesting news - and a plan. It matched well with what you had in mind.

Monica meets you in the atrium.

"You both look pumped," she says as a matter-of-factly.

You, who have just power walked out of the elevator with Seyeon in tow, give her a hug.

"I think I'm finally doing the right thing," you grin.

The three of you are suddenly distracted by a lot of screaming fans from Yeongsan street outside. The glass windows reveal three black SUVs in front of the entrance, from which descend two exceptionally well-dressed men. Within two seconds, they're inside the atrium, leaving behind a trail of shrieks and shutter clicks. You're now used to this public entry routine. Every now and then, some HYBE artist would use the main entrance, attracting the attention of fans and paparazzi that were permanent fixtures outside the HYBE building. Even if you hadn't recognized Jungkook and Suga, the sheer volume of yelling could only be for BTS.

Monica sees you go from cheerful to somewhat cautious as you move towards the exit. It is inevitable that you would cross paths with them. Jungkook raises his hand for a high five. You do the same but remove your hand at the last minute.

"Noona!" he protests.

"Aww you," you return his high five, laughing.

With Suga, you only exchange a sombre wave. His eyes linger on you, searching for some indication of the reason for the differential treatment. But this isn't the time or the place.

A blast of cold air hits you when you step into the streets. Instantly, you're greeted by a passionate cry of people who recognize you. You grin and wave at everyone before getting into your car. Your album's going to be out soon, so you're making more public entrances than the private ones.

"What was that about?" Monica asks.

"What?" you feign ignorance.

"You know what."

"I don't want to talk about it," you scrunch your nose, "but I need to."

Monica gives you her full attention. When you do nothing except for giving her a tight-lipped smile, she nudges you, "What? Out with it, Y/n."

"Um - well - Yoongi drunk confessed on his birthday," you drop the issue flatly. Among other things.

Monica's eyebrows are sky high. "Hmm, I gathered something had happened from what Lily said that night..."

You grimace. "And - I thought I was okay with it, but I'm not, I don't know why," you pause, "I've been - trying not to - but kinda been avoiding him since then."

"That's a little cruel, Y/N. As far as I've judged him, he's probably embarrassed enough already."

"Yeah well, I don't think he knows that I know..."

Monica waits for you to say something more.

"He said a lot of things, Monica. And I - I do want to know what he really wants to do about us - but I'm also scared that he may be in a lot more deeper than I am. But then, he was completely drunk - completely out of it. So I don't know. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking," You look out of the window.

"Ah. And what do you feel?"

You still avoid her eyes.

"I don't know..."

After a pause, you add, "I don't want to hurt him, that's for sure."

"Is that all?"

"Of course not..." you mutter.

Monica sighs. "Even if he went overboard and creeped you out a bit -" her words cause you to give an embarrassed chuckle and ask, "- not creeped just - agh - what made you realise he went overboard?"

"Well, he strikes me as a coconut type personality. Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. He was probably just holding it all in."

You can't help but laugh.

"As I was saying. Even if he did become too sentimental too early for you - it's like you said - he was drunk."

You shrug. "Y/N," Monica addresses you in a stern tone, "you can't have both. You can't be commitmentphobic because he said he likes you and have your ego hurt if you find out he didn't mean what he said."

"That's not - agh, Monica!" you give a frustrated laugh realising that she called you out for something you didn't realise you were trying to do.

"I really really like him," you mumble. "It's just - now that the possibility of something happening between us is - real - I guess -," you pause to blow air out of your cheeks, " - I'm scared..."

It gives you goosebumps just to say that out aloud. And it's weirdly relieving, and not as strange and scary as it felt in your head.

Oh.

So that's what he meant when he said he just needed to put it out there...

Meanwhile, Monica responds in a gentler tone, "What's there to be scared of? That's a beautiful thing. And he's a decent person."

"It is, isn't it? But I don't know how to do this. If he were just another guy I wanted to fool around with on tour, it would be so much easier..."

"We both know you don't have it in you to fool around -"

"- hey!"

"- seriously all you do is sulk and demand food when you aren't getting some -"

"- I do NOT -"

"- oh, sure..." Monica's voice drips sarcasm. But you scowl and shut up because she's right.

"I think you should talk to him," Monica says.

"My focus right now is the tour," you reply, staring out of the window. "And I'm pretty sure he has his career as his first priority too right now."

"You won't know that unless you talk to him,"

"Yeah, well, I know my priority so even if his is different, I can't make any promises. Not to him. Not to myself. That's why I'm saying I don't know how to do this..."

"You've got to figure out what you want more, Y/N," Monica advises.

"Do I have to choose? Can't I have a super cool career and a super cool b-boyf - agh - why can't I say it?" you wail.

"Let yourself have him -,"

"-BOYFRIEND!"

"Yes but without screaming it,"

"I'll talk to him -"

"- good,"

"- after the tour,"

"- Y/N,"

"- no, nope. Not now. I've wasted enough time worrying over things that are not work."

"You're running away,"

You look away. "...no...no. I'm not running. See - feelings are all nice, but reality demands decisions - and now that this is happening, I do not know which way to go..."

Monica gives a very long pause before speaking again. You aren't the type to run away, but she had to check. And then there's the other thing. She doesn't plan to let you in on the thought, but she thinks Suga needs time to come around too. Drunk confessions aren't exactly a sign of well-thought-out feelings. And fact is that both he and you live a life tailored for loneliness. Dating as an idol is practically a taboo. And while you're not a Korean idol, you have a similar work ethic. No wonder you fit in so well here. A relationship won't be a matter of chance for you. It will have to be a result of deliberation and dedication.

She chooses her next words to put your mind at ease, but still motivate you to think it over, "Y/N, I can't deny that the tour won't give you any time to work on a relationship even if you wanted to. But please think about it, won't you? I like seeing you happy,"

You glance at Monica. Have you been visibly happier? You've not been paying attention to your feelings. But even as you think about it, you're reminded of that warm feeling of a happy place that you found while returning from Daegu. It's right within your reach. Your reverie is interrupted by a phone call from Seyeon. You sigh.

Work calls.

Work comes first.

For now.