it was the last day of school yesterday. i'm sad.

***

here we are,
and this building never felt
so much like home.
we're writing 'good luck'
on shirts, or maybe
'see you later!',
even though we know
that we won't see each other
like this again.
the tables, the walls, the shirts,
all smelling of markers,
the burn of sugar in our throats.
i'm not crying - i don't know how.
it's like a fever dream,
and i've never been this happy.
i cannot hate anyone,
and everyone gets a hug,
a goodbye, a signing on their shirt.
we were younger once,
thinking we were older,
eyes bright and smiles wide
as each day moved to the next.
and somehow, we're here now,
and five years didn't feel
like five years, but just a moment,
a polaroid shot. someone brought
their polaroid in, and we are
captured on the tiny paper,
smiling wide and held close.
my heart aches for those
who won't stay, even if
i don't cry - i just whack them
and make them promise that
they'll reply to my messages.
we'll stay in touch, right?
the day is ending, the hugs
are longer and tears escape
into ink-stained fabric.
photos are taken again and again:
we are desperate to remember
today. we shall not forget.
i'm in the car, and haven't cried.
i still don't know how.
crying seems too small a feat
in the face of an ending.
we're growing older,
and that's alright with me.
i just wish i could spend
a minute longer in the hold
of everyone who leaves.