love is not standing straight,
love is falling asleep in your wanting,
all your desires that you keep
wrapped in your mind.
lying curled under sheets, toes cold,
the tick-tock of a clock that won't
silence itself. background noise,
static tv screens and shifting dreams.
and in loneliness, imagining
arms around me, warmth around me,
holding me in this place that
i cannot reach when i'm awake.
overwhelming nothing of the mind,
why do you lead me on this way?
make me dream of never-to-come days,
because this feeling is purely
my own. it's the bitter love of
'maybe' or 'could have been',
the sweet wretchedness of a dice
that might have fallen differently.
a burn of tears, a broken smile,
face to the pillow, under sheets
as i wander the streets of the memory
of a love that haunts me when i sleep.
perhaps someday these imagined
arms will be replaced, but for now,
i shall lie with my eyes closed,
and wonder how i am meant to
move on, when my heart remains
fixated on your smile; on the
expression behind those dawn-lit eyes.