Arthit twisted and turned in his bed , yet was unable to find a comfortable position. He tried it all, sleeping on stomach, on back, deep inhale -exhale. Nothing worked. His mind just wasn't ready to switch off and let his body sleep.

It was first day in two years of his university journey that Kong wouldn't be here. Even in the initial days of their reluctant camaraderie,  Kong was a constant presence in the form of the window kept ajar, enough to give pretense of it being locked to outsiders and for Kong to know that he was welcome. Even when Kong would opt to stay his nights at physics department or computer faculty, he knew Kong would be returning at dawn, before first rays would reach their room. He knew that Kong would use bathroom early so Arthit wouldn't be late. Later, in the phases from unsaid friendship to love, he knew Kong would climb down the window and sigh at the blanket Arthit had kicked down in sleep. He would cover Arthit again with blanket, drop a quick kiss and get to his business.

And all of this suddenly evaporated along with Kongpob's stuff, there was no trace of Kongpob on other side of room except a sticky note at his bedside table.

" Your smile has now become objective of my life. "

Arthit had plucked it and stored it carefully along with their early conversations. Although he would like to think Kongpob's move wouldn't  change anything between them, he knows so much has already changed, atleast physically.

Knowing Kongpob, the earlier words were more than just a poetic declaration of love. His Kong had vowed to keep his smile lifelong, that simply meant the stubborn male was gonna work his ass off to give all that he thinks Arthit deserves. Everything seasoned with grandeur of Suthiluck status — probably a comfortable life, huge savings, diamond ring all all that hoopla. Arthit doesn't really care much if Kong would be able to give him all that or not, he only wanted Kongpob's presence and love in his life, also mutual respect. Love without respect is nothing afterall.

What Arthit knows without a doubt is that Kong will achieve all that he had set his eyes upon and much more. The man had singular, laser focus — and it scared Arthit like nothing else. Root of his insecurities lied in Kong's habit of maniacal focus. He fears, in the race of success, he will fade in the background.
Only time will tell the secrets of future. What he knows is that he will fight tooth and nail for his love, their future. For the day where he can again lie in Kong's arms. A day where he would know, Kong would be waiting for them to have breakfast, for the day where he could watch Kong laughing because of silly things he did. For the day that has recently been swept under tide of chase of career.

Arthit glanced back at the window, shut tight, glasses illuminated with the street lamp. The latched blot just didn't sit right with him, climbing down the bed, he strode to the window and unlatched it. Yanking it open , he felt the cool midnight breeze caressing his face, down the road, everything was just like any other day — guards patrolling, trees rustling, a thick branch still reaching the window – which Kong wouldn't be able to use as his royal pathway.

Arthit shut the window ajar —the thought of  shutting it completely made his heart heavy. As if he was closing all doors for Kongpob.
" I may shut the doors tight when you are being stupid but I will always leave the window open for you to climb in, Kong-monkey-pob." Arthit whispered to himself, tears sprang in his eyes, throat clogged painfully, he fisted his fists and breathed deep — CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP ARTHIT ROJANAPAT, UNLESS,YOU WANT KONG  TO BLAME HIMSELF SEEING YOUR DARK CIRCLES ON VIDEO CALL TOMORROW MORNING.

Chiding himself thoroughly, he rushed back to his bed. Again trying all the method he knew for sleeping , again it all went to waste. Arthit contemplated listening some guided meditation on YouTube or some hypnotism shit that would put him to sleep, whatever gets the job done. He pressed the side button to check the time in his mobile— the screen lit up revealing thousand watts smile of one Kongpob Suthiluck — the sudden sense of void punched him deep in the gut.

He wanted to listen Kong's voice , right now. Chiding him for being awake till this ungodly hour, mumbling rubbish in sleep, whispering sweet nothings, delivering cutting retorts — anything.
He would even welcome Kong cursing at him like a sailor right now — not that Kong ever cursed.

2:50 AM .

Whatever! He was calling his boyfriend clothes some random Tom, Dick, Harry.

Arthit typed Kog's number and dialed  but hung up the call before even first ring.

Clenching his teeth to inspire some fucking restraint, he put his mobile aside.

As if on cue, his mobile lit up

" couldn't sleep? "

Arthit stared at the phone dumb founded. Hurriedly unlocking, he double checked if it was really from Kongpob.

"I have left my pillow in your cupboard, and the your favourite black shirt is beside my T-shirt you have borrowed without asking. "

Arthit's nostril flared " Are you implying I stole your clothes? " he texted back.

" Is this new way of saying 'I miss you'? Looks like I have much to catch up with time " came the reply.

" I hate you "

" As much as you hate pink milk ? " pat came the reply.

Arthit chuckled " Smart-ass " he sent.

" People are unable to differentiate between brain and behind ? No wonder world is in deep pit! "

Arthit laughed out loud. This was his Kong — hating nonsensical things more than he hated curses.

" Tell your brain to stop being a dick and finding logic in everything. "

" My brain says it's better suited being penis than being  buttock. Atleast it will still be productive 😉 "

" Kongpob Suthiluck! "

" one and only ...at your service Sir"

Arthit sniffed, furiously wiping tears cluding in his eyes, while his lips still couldn't stop smiling. It was exactly what he was missing,his man — his Kongpob — only one who made him laugh and cry at same time.

" Why aren't you asleep ? " Arthit sent the text but got interrupted by incoming call.

" Kong " he breathed in to the call, fearing if he speaks any loud, Kong would know he was crying.

" Husband" Kong replied " It still feels like a dream." Arthit's heart ached hearing the choked voice, he knew how much having a family mattered to Kongpob.

" Its as real as Sun, husband mine." Arthit replied.

Kong hummed " reminds me, we still haven't spent our first night. "

Arthit snorted " I remember thoroughly exhausting ourselves night before the wedding. "

" That doesn't count! "

" Ooh ...that doesn't? "

Instant came a resounding denial
" Nope."

" I see... we must make arrangements then! "

"I want to take you to date first " came the reply and Arthit's heart warmed up. It has always bothered Kong that they didn't yet had their first date. Atleast one outing that would satisfy Kong's standards of date. And the man may have empty pockets right now, he suddenly had high standards and higher potential.

" After the Date it is."

" Where would you like to go for honeymoon, Arthit ? "

" The savings we have right now, we won't be able to afford even the sedy motel outside city ! "

" I know. I am asking, in future ...is there a place you would like to visit ? "

" Paris perhaps ? Or Bali ... do they have pink milk ? "

Kong laughed

" Are you laughing ? "

Kong stilled " Nope. It's sorted then. Someplace where pink milk is available."

" Yeah, otherwise we coming back in three days."

" Noted boss. "

" Why aren't you asleep yet ? " Arthit asked. " You have interviews in few hours. "

"I won't be giving Interview tomorrow. Interview I had today was great. Its a trading company And the job has weekend off, pay and hours are good too. "

" Will it allow you to work on your project ? "

" Yeah. It's a night job. I can work on my project in day. I have talked to others, they think I should take this job."

" Yeah, looks great. You should take the job but first tell me, why aren't you asleep yet? "

" You couldn't sleep too .."

" I asked first. "

" You have spoiled me,Mee Noi. Your pillow isn't same as your arm. "

" You stole my pillow ! "

" Borrowed. " Kong corrected "What's yours is mine isn't it ? "

" Let's say this again in few years " Arthit threatened.

" Yeah. Still your pillows are mine and my chequebooks yours. "

" only interested in your dick. "

" My behind feels left behind ! "

Arthit growled " Front and back, all mine "

" All yours " Kong whispered and Arthit felt like he would wail at any minute.

" I found your note. " he said just to fill the sudden void expamding , he dreaded the silence at such times.

" I left you more. But don't go searching them, let them find you.  "

" Why ? "

" So you know that, even if I am left with nothing, I still have time that I will gladly share with you, use for you and to think about you. "

" I didn't give you anything. "

" You gave me yourself, you gave me hope, motivation and family, things that more than I ever  deserved or hoped for. "

" Don't let me listen you spouting nonsense Kongpib. You deserve Sun and moon and stats and galaxies. This whole fucking universe. "

Kong sniffled in barest of voices, like a gentle of caress of wind against satin sheets , yet owing to sudden silence, Arthit could listen Kong sobbing. He muttered some gibberish.

" Sorry ? " Arthit said. " There's some network problem I guess, what we're you saying ? " he lied through teeth, he didn't want Kongpob knowing that he could listen the sob.

" only Want my binary star " Kong muttered.

" you already have it "

The night was spent like this, lover's murmuring in to the phone till dawn found them, exhausted and sleeping, yet clutching the phone to their ears like lifeline, each other's breathing the soothing melody lulling them to sleep.

First say we're hardest after all. Perhaps time will soothe the sting of distance, perhaps not. Yet, they still had each other.

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A/N : Sorry for any mistake. I wasn't able to sleep today, so I penned it in one go. It isn't revised or edited. Sorry for mistakes.