Chapter 1
"We're closed!" Park Jimin called out from behind his coffee shop's countertop. With the stormy January day ragging in full force outside, the young man felt as though the entire city central population of Seoul had crossed his threshold.
The rain had an odd way of pushing people inside.
There was nothing special about the rain. It was only water. Individuals showered in water. They drank it from the taps. People swam in it in pools. Yet when it fell from the sky it was feared.
Why would someone fear something they would otherwise embrace?
Was it possibly the lack of control?
Coming from taps and water bottles, people were able to control and maintain the power over the ever-flowing object. When it came from the sky, Mother Nature held the upper hand and in any way it could lead to an unexpected forecast.
To be honest, Jimin could understand that. Wanting some form of handle over your otherwise uncontrollable life. He had been there more than a time or two where he longed to regain power. Where he wished he could alter his life in some form.
However, our wishes are not always granted. There are times where our control and our power are claimed away from us. Where we all lose it to someone or something else.
Sometimes the rain just needs to pour, and the fear of how much damage will be as a result, rests on the wings of the wind.
After such a hectic day, all Jimin wanted was to lock the doors to the Serendipity coffee shop and return to his apartment above the store. But now, with the sudden arrival of this newcomer, his plans seemed to be delayed.
"Oh sorry" a male voice answered out from the doorway. A cold rush of air breezing in from behind him. "I saw the light on and thought you were still open." The voice was low and lined with what could only be described as a hint of sadness. But there was something about the slang of the lisp that seemed familiar to Jimin.
Jimin couldn't resist glancing up at the stranger. Instantly the damp cloth slipped free from his grasp. His jaw fell open slightly, gazing at the man before him in an awe of silence. Standing hunched over in the doorway was a young man – not unlike any of the other men he would spot walking down the street – with a worn sweater pulled over his head and shaggy mocha hair hanging over the creamy skin of his forehead.
But it wasn't the looks of the man that caught the shop owner's attention so intensely. Rather, it was the simple fact that he recognized him. The other man's name slipped so easily from his lips, like the tang of a flavor longed to be tasted again.
"Jungkook..."
"I didn't..." the man, Jungkook, nervously rubbed the back of his neck and shifted slightly on his footing "I didn't realize you worked here."
"Ah yeah" Jimin said awkwardly, with what sounded like a hint of a laugh, grabbing the fallen cloth and struggling with making himself seem busy. "My father left it to me after he passed away," he explained.
This certainly wasn't how he expected to be displayed when he came across Jungkook – not that he had ever planned to see his high school boyfriend again in this lifetime. Seoul was certainly a large city and it was easy enough to move forward in life without crossing paths with anyone from your past. But if Jimin was to see an ex, he would have preferred it to not be when his shirt was caked in flour and he didn't illuminate the scent of burnt coffee beans – although he was starting to believe it was his permanent aroma now.
"I see," Jungkook nodded, his long slender fingers twiddled with stray strings from his sleeves. This was a habit he held even during his times of school, a nervous reaction during conversations or when struggling through tests. "I'll just be going. Sorry for bothering you." The man turned to leave; pushing the door open the freezing air rushed through again.
What Jimin did next surprised even him. He stepped forward eagerly, as though he wanted to reach out for the other man. "Stay" the one word was simple yet forceful. It was the only clear word he was able to force out. The rest he stumbled over. "Let me get you coffee. Or tea. Would you like tea instead? Of course not, you were always a coffee drinker. As long as it's not bitter, you prefer it sweeter. I have some food left over. I'm sure you'd like it. I'm a much better cook than I was in high school. Which I'm sure is hard to believe because back then I was able to burn toast. And let's not mention that time with the water" the man nearly needed to catch his breath. He gestured towards a booth "just... stay."
Almost reluctantly Jungkook nodded. For a moment he seemed to be thinking the better of his choice. He remained holding the door open, bringing more air inside. But eventually he tore himself away from the exit and sauntered tiredly over to one of the leather booths. His tongue moved slowly against his inner cheek and his fingers fiddled with the sweater strings once again. The man turned slightly and glanced out the window. Slowly the rain was showing signs of shifting to snow, as the white pellets started to form.
Jimin couldn't take his eyes off the other man. For years he thought he had dreamed about seeing him again, fantasies where they were pulled together after years apart. But he had never considered those thoughts would become reality. Now that Jungkook was here, there was a nagging fear that if he blinked too much, he might disappear again.
He turned towards the coffee maker but continued taking small glances at the other man. The drink was brewing as he reached into the glass display case and removed a slice of chocolate cake. He fumbled and dropped it. "Damn it" he cursed under his breath. Tossing a napkin down to cover it. Jimin made the choice to leave the mess until later – he was the boss, he could do that right?
Balancing two plates of cake and two cups of coffee, he stumbled over towards the table Jungkook had occupied. Setting the items down, he slid in across from the other man. "Chocolate fudge cake and coffee with extra sugar." Jimin pushed the mug across the table with a small smile "just as you like it."
"Thanks," Jungkook answered softly. His slender fingers abandoned the sweater and moved to grasp the hot drink. Pausing for a moment he breathed in the scent of the freshly brewed coffee.
Jimin couldn't resist the small smile that tugged at his lips. This was an action Jungkook had done previously. Throughout their time of friendship and relationship, the man would often take in the smell of the food or a drink that Jimin presented him with, prior to consuming it. Jungkook had once claimed it was to savor the experience and to ensure memories were made. He had said, unless you slowed down, he wouldn't remember all these moments when he's eighty.
It was cute to see not much had changed about the younger boy in terms of behaviour. He had the same twitches he did back when the two dated. Back in high school, those were some of the many items in which Jimin adored the other boy. But there was something troubling him now. There had been a change in him.
All through high school Jimin had known Jungkook to be careful and considerate regarding his fashion choices. He was never one to go to school with even a single hair out of place; his uniform was nearly perfect everyday. On the weekends he was often found sporting slim fit jeans without a speck of dirt on him; a designer t-shirt and a flannel pulled over top. Of course, his family wasn't entirely over the top wealthy, but, as the youngest son, Jungkook was often spoiled.
But things seemed to be different now – and Jimin couldn't help but notice. The other boy's hair was shaggy, falling across his eyes, dulling some of the otherwise vibrant honey irises. And it looked a little bit shiny – a telltale sign needed a wash. The clothing was nowhere near what his style once was, gone was the designer shirts and, in exchange, was faded sweatshirts with holes in the sleeves. Don't get Jimin started on the jeans that now had cuts, fraying holes and dirt stains across the shins. Everything about this attire screamed unkempt and disheveled.
The owner snapped out of his thoughts, coming to the conclusion it was rather impolite to leave his dinner guest unattended to. He flashed his warm signature smile. It was the beaming facial expression that lit up his entire face and forced his eyes to squeeze shut, which once was said could change anyone's emotions. But, it seemed to be lacking its volume tonight for Jungkook didn't even offer a glance in return.
Instead the other boy was busy consuming the chocolate cake that was placed before him. He was shoveling the cake away as though he hadn't eaten in days – considering the noticeable weight loss, the thought was a possibility. Jimin noted the empty plate and shot up from his seat, moving so quickly he banged on the table "let me get another piece for you."
Jimin hadn't waited for an answer. He had already left the table and was going towards the counter, intending to grab another slice. He was stopped only by the appearance of Jungkook before him. The other man who had opened his mouth planning to speak was already cut off by Jimin's own words. "I have a spice cake as well, if you would prefer that. I know it's only just past the holiday season, but I can't really think of another cake that screams holiday season. But, if you don't want cake I have other choices too, of course."
He fumbled around behind the counter, looking rather frazzled. With the speed he was moving he neglected to notice the cake from earlier still plastered on the floor. Accidentally, his foot slipped into the mess, encasing his red converse in chocolate. "Fudge stick," he mumbled under his breath – he had learnt over the past couple years to check his swearing.
Spinning to face Jungkook, he chose to ignore the mess on his shoe. "I've got sandwiches if you'd like that instead. Bagels, bread or anything like that. I can easily whip one up for you. I even have cinnamon and raisin bagels, I can put cream cheese on it. You used to love that. Personally, I always liked it better with peanut butter but I can respect the differences. I mean it's differences that make the world go round right? So how can you judge someone for liking cream cheese? You really shouldn't judge anyone for anything, and honestly a bagel topping is just so trivial. Not to mention –"
"Jimin" Jungkook interrupted him. In that moment, Jimin had never considered how sweet a single word might sound, how six simple letters could form a name with such emotion that it made your ears ring to the sound of bells. It had been years since the name had passed through Jungkook's lips, but it held wisdom and age, like a memory long forgotten.
The shop owner shut his mouth but remained smiling. He rested his hands on the counter top and locked eyes with the other man. He practically needed to bite his tongue to keep from saying more – but he succeeded nonetheless. "Yes Jungkook?" he asked rather calmly now.
"You've done enough," Jungkook answered. There was now a small smile pulling at his lips but it didn't look completely genuine. "Thank you for the coffee," he added. The young man, who, if Jimin remembered correctly, couldn't be any older than nineteen, was pulling a fist full of change from his sweater pockets.
For a moment, Jimin was taken back. All he could do was view the pile of change that was set out on his countertop. He continued to watch in awe as Jungkook slowly and carefully started to count the coins out. Having worked in the city for so long this wasn't the first time he had seen an action like this take place. But usually, when individuals in ratty clothing came into Serendipity and started counting out their change, it was a surefire sign they were homeless.
But that couldn't be Jungkook... right? This was the boy Jimin used to date. He came from a home where two parents loved and adored him. With a big brother that watched out for him. He had a future all lined up for college. So, there was no way that boy was now sleeping on the streets. It just wasn't possible.
"I'm sorry" Jungkook apologized as he continued counting out the coins. His fingers were trembling and he wouldn't dare glance Jimin's way. "I promise there's enough here. I promise" the boy continued to mumble slightly. His shaky fingers knocked against the pile of coins and sent some soaring to the floor. "I'm sorry" Jungkook gasped out another apology and dropped to the floor to collect the fallen items.
Jimin lowered to his own hands and knees and started crawling around the floor to help. He gathered a couple coins before rounding to the front of the counter and knocking his forehead into Jungkook's shoulder. "Oh" he gave a little gasp and sat back on his heels. He chuckled a little and smiled at the man. "Here you go," Jimin said, handing over the collected money. "I think that's all of it. Man I really need to mop down here better. This is pathetic," he stated, glancing at the dirty floor. To be fair, he had stopped mid cleaning to serve Jungkook.
But Jungkook didn't seem to be paying much attention. His focus had returned to counting. Still distracted, he pushed himself off the floor and added the coins to the pile. "This should cover everything," Jungkook started nibbling his bottom lip again. "I promise it should be enough."
Jimin got up from the floor, dusting his knees off as he went. Carefully, he rested his warm gentle hands over Jungkook's larger and rougher one. He could feel the other man shaking beneath his touch. "Jungkook, you don't need to pay. This was my treat."
"I can't not pay you" Jungkook insisted, nibbling his lip some more.
"Of course you can," Jimin smiled. Holding Jungkook's hand he slid the coins back into his grip. "I'm the owner, after all. Giving away a cup of coffee to an old friend" he chuckled a little "well, it's a piece of cake."
Now there was a little smile pulling at the other man's mouth, and this time it was honest. There was a low chuckle in his throat, as though it was an unfamiliar sound. "Thanks again, '' he said, pulling his hand away carefully from Jimin's grip. He set the coins back in his pocket.
"It's no problem. Come by anytime, okay?" Jimin stated moving back around the counter. "iIt gets a little lonely after closing. It's nice to see a friendly face." He found himself being honest. There were nights where he wished he wasn't alone surrounded by these four walls, bearing the weight of it all alone. Of course, he would prefer to have a greater social life, but his schedule didn't leave much room for relationships. What surprised him most of all, was that he actually told Jungkook this. He preferred to keep things to himself, finding that he opened himself up to someone he hadn't seen in years was astounding.
Jungkook nodded and lifted his hood over his hair. "I'll keep that in mind." Then, just as easily as the man appeared, he vanished through the freezing doorway. The only indications he had ever been there was the abandoned coffee mug and the cold breeze shifting through the air.
Jimin glanced out the window in a haze, watching the snowflakes dance through the sky. It had gotten colder as the day had gone on, but then again that was typical for January weather in Seoul. A little rain could easily turn to frosty snow. Sometimes he wondered what other people did during weather like this. And now his thoughts were pulled towards how Jungkook would be spending the rest of the night. Perhaps, he will return home. Maybe by now he has a solid boyfriend and the two will cuddle up on the couch together and watch a horror movie – only to give an excuse to cuddle more. With how soft and silky Jungkook's hair was, Jimin was sure the boyfriend would twist his fingers through it to play. Pressing cold noses against the other man's cheek to earn a giggle. Sharing gentle kisses as the snow piled up outside.
Then again maybe this is just how Jimin would treat Jungkook. Maybe these were actually his deepest desires.
Nonetheless, Jimin busied himself with the remainder of cleaning. He got down on his hands and knees to swipe up the fallen cake. But try as he might he couldn't get his thoughts off the other man.
He regretted how things ended three years ago. They had parted on negative terms and Jimin knew the fault rested on his shoulders alone. He had always been terrible at verbally explaining himself and his emotions. He preferred to suffer in silence. But, he shouldn't have done that with Jungkook. He should have taken the time to fully explain the reason behind the break up; instead, he ended things and ran. That was, in no way, how he properly should have treated Jungkook. Jungkook deserved to know why.
With a broom in hand Jimin went about sweeping the floor. To be honest, this was one of his favourite things about closing the place up. Putting some music on and dancing across the floor with his trusty partner
Upon reflecting back,Jimin was certain Jungkook would have understood; he would get why Jimin needed to end things. Jungkook always had a big heart and he wanted what was best for those he cared about. Jimin had seen it more than once, the boy helping students with free after-school tutoring, or finding a homeless puppy a home. He was incapable of turning his back on people in need. So if Jimin had been honest with him, he doubted he would have completely lost the man.
Maybe they would have even been able to remain friends afterwards.
Again, he realizes even that possibility might have been a long shot. Judging from those tears in Jungkook's eyes, Jimin was certain he was heartbroken – and he knew he was the cause of them. The memories of those tears haunted Jimin on a regular basis. How they were running down Jungkook's face like a waterfall, the way he struggled to choke them back and his voice cracked as he begged Jimin not to leave him. But Jimin had simply walked away.
Heading back into the kitchen, Jimin gathered the food waste and tied the bag shut. Now this would be his least favourite part of the day. Dragging the heavy bag back to the alley door. He paused only for a second to grab his jacket. Heaving the bag back over his shoulder, out he went. Carrying the bag over to the dumpster he tossed it in. but as he was doing so, his eye caught the sight of a flash of silver, tucked deep in the corner of the alley.
It was rare, but had happened on a couple occasions. Jimin had come outside and found a car parked in the corner. It was a rather successful hiding place really, no one from the street would notice it, and it was out of sight of any windows. The only chance at discovery was if Jimin spots it when he brings out the trash – much like tonight.
With a deep sigh, he headed over to the car – as he suspected there was a person sleeping in the back seat, several covers pulled up over their chin in hopes of sheltering the sleeper from the chill. There were times that Jimin had left people back there, in spring or fall when the weather was more cooperative, this was their home after all. Regardless, every morning before sunrise he would walk out with food and drinks to offer to the person.
But tonight was simply too cold for any of that. He couldn't in good faith leave a person there to freeze to death.
Yanking his jacket tighter around his body, he knocked on the window. When the body only shuffled slightly but didn't sit up he gave another firmer knock, a demanding one. Now the person had awoken. The body moved up to a seated position and glanced out the window at Jimin.
The alley was dark, with little lighting offered from the street or buildings. But the moon was bright that night and the face peering back at Jimin was undeniably recognizable.
"Jungkook?" he gasped out in shock. What the hell was Jeon Jungkook doing sleeping in the backseat of his car?
The boy's eyes were wide with shock, but he reached forward to open the door. He shifted in the seat to make room for Jimin. To Refuse making eye contact, he twiddled with the blankets.
"Jungkook" Jimin whispered. He slid into the seat and shut the door. The car was freezing; no one could live like this. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he turned to the other boy, just making out his face in the darkness. "What are you doing sleeping in your car?" he made sure his voice was gentle and accepting, he wasn't making any accusations.
But Jungkook had only responded with a small shrug, still refusing to glance at the other man.
"Are you living in your car?" Jimin asked. The more he glanced around, the more likely it had become. There were blankets tossed everywhere, in his front seat was clothing folded as nicely as it possibly could, toiletries were stacked neatly on top and there were books scattered across the floor. Everything that would indicate a home was stuffed in this small metal jail.
Slowly, Jungkook released a sigh and nodded yes. "Yeah," he whispered, "this is my home now."
Jimin could have pushed for more. He could have demanded more information, but this was all he needed to know. The boy he once loved was homeless, living in his car on a freezing night. That just wasn't okay with Jimin. "Okay, let's head inside" he said, nodding towards the store.
"Oh no," Jungkook insisted, shaking his head firmly. "I'm fine out here. It's really fairly good out. I've got lots of blankets so I'm not cold even in the slightest. Really. I would have driven elsewhere but the snow had really picked up."
"Jungkook, it's seriously too cold out here for you to stay. I can't just walk away knowing that you're outside my store sleeping like this."
To Jungkook's credit, he was able to successfully hold his tongue from making a sarcastic comment regarding how Jimin had no trouble leaving him years ago.
"Look Jungkook, it's one night. Give yourself the break. It's somewhere warm, a comfortable bed to sleep on. You can get a hot shower and some fresh food in the morning" Jimin tried harder to sell the stay. "We're old friends. You can trust me."
"It's not about that," Jungkook insisted. Something like this wasn't about trust – well not truly. Certainly, he knew Jimin wasn't going to hurt him in any way should he spend the night. But it was more about asking questions. He was sure Jimin would want to know why he was living in a car. "I'm fine out here."
"It's freezing" Jimin pushed again. "Look, I know this isn't any of my business. It doesn't concern me why you live in this car. You don't need to tell me any of that. But what I am worried about is coming outside tomorrow to find my friend has frozen. Now that won't be a very good sight for me to see, you must agree about that". It was as though he could read the other man's thoughts. "But it's snowing out here, it's freezing regardless of how many blankets you have and there is a friend here offering you somewhere to stay for the night. Take the offer. It's just for one night."
Reluctantly, Jungkook nodded his head and sighed deeply. He untangled the blankets from around his body to show he was willing to follow along with the other man's plans. "But you have to give me a chance to pay you back." When Jimin opened his mouth to deny the request, Jungkook was quick to cut him off. "Or else no deal. I'll stay here for the night."
Now it was Jimin's turn to sigh. He nodded slightly in agreement "alright fine. Now can we please get inside where it's warm?" the man pushed the car door open and climbed out. He waited until Jungkook had shimmied out after him before firmly shutting it and leading him back to the kitchen doorway. He kept taking several glances behind him to check that Jungkook was still following. During one of these quick checks, Jimin stumbled over a piece of junk. With his hands out, he caught himself just in time before taking a faceplant in the snow. "I'm okay!" he started shoving himself back up. "I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Stupid junk thinking it can take me down. No sir, not today. Not going to happen. No harm and no foul. See, I'm fine. Caught myself and everything." There he went ranting again.
Jungkook couldn't resist a slight giggle, watching the man dusting the snow off his pants. He had always known Jimin to act cool, so the rare few moments where he lacked a complete collection was fairly amusing.
Jimin flashed him a smile and opened the door, stepping back into the warm kitchen. He flipped off the majority of the lights, closing up the place finally. "Okay I know my place is small, but I guess you could call it cozy" he explained moving through the kitchen with ease towards a basic wooden door.
The other man followed close behind. "Of course it's small. You live in a closet" Jungkook joked, glancing at the wooden door that did in fact appear much like a storage cupboard.
This earned a laugh from Jimin "nah, I haven't lived in a closet since I was fifteen" he teased in response. Rather than find the joke funny, it seemed to make Jungkook disappointed in some form. The man had returned to his shell and was nibbling on his lip again. With a gentle sigh of defeat, Jimin opened the door to reveal a hidden staircase. It was somewhat skinny and dark, but doable.
The two men made their way upstairs and Jimin opened the second door leading into his small apartment. It wasn't terribly large, the kitchen, dining room and living area were all merged into one room. It was open and welcoming, with throw rugs and blankets tossed everywhere. The kitchen had clearly been well lived in, but the dining table looked barely used. It was the perfect depiction of a bachelor lifestyle.
"This is where you live?" Jungkook asked, slowly moving into the cozy room, a colour theme mainly of browns, burgundy, and mustard yellow – rather old fashioned if you asked him. But it wasn't the colours that caught Jungkook's attention, neither was it the stacked dishes in the sink. But rather, it was the lack of personal photographs. When a house becomes a home, in Jungkook's opinion, the one thing that is so desperately required is a well-located photograph. Photos that showcased family and friends, anything to show you had loved ones around you. "There's not a single photograph around here."
Jimin chuckled a little and moved towards what would be described as the living room. He snatched up a few stray articles of his clothing – give him a break he lived on his own – stuffing an old pair of his boxers into his pocket. "You always did have an eye for photography," Jimin stated. He started removing the cushions from the couch and tossing them to the side. Pulling the sofa bed out, he got it settled into place for Jungkook to sleep for the night. "But you're right. I suppose I haven't had much time to print photos off. I keep them mostly on my phone. Now, I would offer you my bed and take the pull out couch myself, but I assume you'll refuse."
"And that's what's wrong with this generation. Everyone carries cameras and photo albums around in their pockets that they fail to print any solid copies off" Jungkook mumbled moving around the room like a ghost. "And you assumed correctly."
"Alright" Jimin set some extra blankets out on the end of the bed. "This should cover everything. There are pillows and blankets and such. Yell if you need anything. Help yourself to anything in the fridge okay? There's a bathroom down the hall, first door on the right. You're welcome to that as well."
Jungkook nodded, moving towards the bed. He lowered himself to the edge of it with caution. He must admit it felt nice to rest on a bed again rather than the stiff cushions of his car. To be honest he was still fairly shocked that Jimin hadn't pushed for more information, but he suspected he wasn't off the hook just yet. There was a flash of wisdom in Jimin's eyes, one that showed knowledge behind these forms of games. He will butter him up, make him feel comfortable in his home, give him things he so long desired, and then drop the questions on him when he least expects it.
"Oh" Jimin paused, moving towards the small hallway that led to his bedroom. "And don't leave tomorrow without saying goodbye, okay?" Jimin chuckled a little when he saw the look on the other boy's face. "Mhmm, I still know you Jungkook. No sneaking out in hopes of avoiding me. I just won't have it."
Jungkook nodded again and kicked his shoes off. "No running off. I still gotta repay my debts to you" the man insisted. He leaned down into the bed still fully dressed and tugged the covers over himself. The bed was probably not the most comfortable of choices, it was rather old and had a pole running down the centre, as sofa beds often did. But it was certainly a great improvement. And Jungkook was exhausted. He needed this sleep. In fact, he was so tired that the moment his head hit the pillow he had knocked himself out.
Truth be told, it wasn't Jungkook that needed to repay any debts, but rather Jimin feeling as though he needed to repair what he had damaged all those years ago. If anyone needed to make up for anything, it was Jimin.
Jimin watched from the hallway with a small smile. Watching Jungkook was like seeing a child fall asleep. A little one who would try to fight it so hard, determined they didn't need to rest. But eventually their eyes would close without any control.
Seeing Jungkook sleep was rather warming towards his heart. The young boy seemed so at peace for once. The tense shoulders of his relaxed, and he nuzzled into the covers. For the first moment, Jimin had taken the time to notice the lines of worry around his face until he relaxed and they vanished. He didn't see the stress that was weighing down his shoulders until it had been lifted with sleep.
Slowly Jimin approached the other man, in hopes of not waking him – although considering how tired he was he doubted anything would wake the boy right now. He lifted the blankets higher up around Jungkook and tucked it under his chin.
Things just didn't add up,But again he knew Jungkook; he understood the way he ticked. Jimin was the one that kept things to himself, he preferred silence. On the other hand, Jungkook had always been a supporter of talking their emotions out. He had been the one encouraging Jimin to talk things through. That was how he viewed life.
Jimin knew that when Jungkook was ready he would come clean about what happened.
Of course, he was curious as to what had taken the boy out of his safe home and into the uncertainty of living in his car. He longed to know what could have changed in his life. For as long as he had known the other boy in high school he had always been the one with the loving family – it was Jimin that had the broken home. What could have changed in his lifestyle to alter this? What would take him from his mother and a home cooked dinner, to the streets where he struggled to make ends meet?
Even after Jimin showered and changed into his pajamas, as he was crawling into his soft bed, the thoughts still pulled at his mind and heart.
What has happened to Jeon Jungkook?
Note: There are mentions of self harming and mental illness in the later chapters. Read at your own choice.
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