"Maybe you'll change your mind, I think I'm falling, I think I'm falling..."

___

"So...? Have fun last night?"

"Seriously, Paige, just shut up about that stupid party."

Paige's mouth parts into an 'o' and she recoils, watching as a very tired Royce and a very tired Tobe make very black coffee on Sunday morning.

"It was that fun, huh?"

"Paige--"

"Seriously, Paige, just shut up about that stupid party," Tobe says, eyes narrowed over his mug. "Seriously."

"Alright, alright," she laughs. "I'll leave it alone," and those four words have Royce praise dancing. Paige drops her keys upon the counter, having just come in from Zayn's probably. "But, I heard that--"

"Paige!"

"No!"

"Alright!" She holds up her hands. "Shit! Okay, okay..."

Tobe chuckles, clasping his hand in prayer upon his mug. "That's literally all we ask."

"Fine," Paige replies, flipping her curly hair over her shoulder. "God, you two are no fun..."

"We know!" The two call simultaneously, making both of them laugh to themselves as their older sister only scowls.

"Goodbye," she calls. "I'll be in the shower."

"...to wash off Zayn?" Tobe grins, and Paige can only shoot him a glare as she retreats from the kitchen.

He nods. "That's what I thought."

Royce laughs to herself, stirring sugar and milk in her coffee. It's not like she didn't want to talk about the previous night with her sister, it's just that she didn't want to talk about Calum with her sister.

And Royce needed to vent.

Literally, they'd gone back to the party only to get their friends. Lola had dropped everyone at Royce's, all eight of them squeezed into the car, and Kennedy had been the only one to actually spend the night with Royce.

Royce loved Kennedy, but she was kind of looking forward to chilling with Calum until their friends were ready to go...not purposefully backtracking to get them and make them leave.

Besides, Kennedy was quiet in the car -- almost as quiet as Calum had been after he'd suggested they leave the swings, and for the life of her Royce couldn't understand why. They'd been talking about swinging and nothing and his bass and all of a sudden he was ready to go back?

This is probably why Royce didn't do boys.

Fuck a crush.

"Alright Roycie," Tobe begins with a stretch, "I'm gonna go study," he salutes her. "See you on the other side."

Royce laughs. "Yeah, same," she replies, because she's got tests to cram for all day.

It's the end of the semester, and there are literally only a couple weeks until finals.

Only a couple weeks until winter break.

And Royce needed this break like, all of right now.

"Be in my room if you need me," he calls, grabbing an apple, too.

Royce sends her brother a quick wave, grabbing her coffee and taking it up the back steps in the kitchen, up to her room.

Royce takes her coffee up to her desk and let's all of her responsibilities fall out onto her bed. British Lit and Chem Honors and AP Calc books all remind her of the shit she's got to study for.

Good thing she's got all day.

Too bad Royce is better at procrastinating.

Mid-way through her math, she realizes that she needs more than a little help in Calculus, and she also realizes that she's tired of cramming for honors classes and AP's and she's gonna have to take a break. It's Sunday, and while she definitely could call Calum for help -- since his community service was yesterday morning, so he's free today -- she's a bit apprehensive, because she can't tell what the hell that boy is thinking especially after last night.

She calls Kennedy, instead.

"I'm thinking that I want a hair cut. Wanna do it?"

Kennedy giggles over the line. "Hello to you, too, Roycie G."

"Hey, Kenn," Royce sings. "Whatcha doing?"

Kennedy lets out a short chuckle. "Recovering from last night, ma'am. How about you?"

"Pretending to study."

"Ha. Same, actually," and Kennedy pauses, "So, I heard you need a hairdresser?"

"Sure do," she replies. "But, I completely understand if you don't wanna come back over here."

"God," Kennedy groans. "I did sleep over, didn't I?"

"Sure did."

Kennedy laughs again. "Last night was--"

"Wild?" Royce asks, flopping onto her bed. "Because, yeah. You'd be right."

Kennedy tsks, her long exhale filtering over the line. "Our fuckin' friends..."

"And you missed the wildest part, honestly," Royce continues. "You didn't even see Jesse get slapped."

Kennedy screams, "WHat?"

"True story."

"By who?"

"That girl," comes Royce's reply. "Emma."

"Who?"

"Y'know," Royce shrugs, "The short blonde. Hangs out with Michael. She showed up at the jail--"

"The chick Luke hates?"

"That's her," Royce laughs. "Honestly, seems like Michael's the only one who likes her."

"That wouldn't surprise me," Kennedy replies. "Knowing Michael."

And before Royce can respond to that, Kennedy has begun a new thought. "Wait, wait. But," she laughs, "why'd she slap him?"

The girls start laughing.

"Good question," Royce replies with a little sigh. "But," she nods, "seems like they've got real beef."

"What's she got against Jesse?"

And Royce frowns. There had been a hell of a lot going on that night that she still hadn't pieced together. "Good question..."

"Hey, wait!" Royce exclaims, because she's committed to this phone call, now. She's definitely not trying to study at the moment. "Is everything okay?"

Kennedy's audibly surprised by the question. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno," Royce replies, remembering Lola's warning before she left with Calum, "I just wanted to make sure everything was good..." She peers at her nails. "Check on you, y'know..."

"It is."

"..with you and Luke?"

And for a long while, Kennedy is uncharacteristically quiet.

They speak at the same time.

"Kenn?"

"Do you think he likes me?"

"Huh?" Royce nearly laughs. "I don't think that's a question, Kenn..."

"Royce, I'm serious," she whines. "This is real. I hate fuckboys, and if Luke's one of the biggest fuckboys in the school then why even go through with this--"

"What? I mean, Kenn," Royce shakes her head, "I know that's what Lola says, but--"

"But? But, Royce? There's no 'but' in this, girl."

"But," Royce exclaims, "Jesse's a player. So is Harry. So is Liam, apparently..."

"Liam? But, I thought he was so sweet--"

"So did I until I saw him drunk at Jesse's--"

"What? What'd he do? Do I have to fight him--?"

"Kenn," Royce laughs, "That's not important, now. Look, the point is that the guys we hang out with -- AKA all of the athletes and jocks -- are no better than Luke and Calum and Ashton and most of the attractive guys at our school, honestly."

Kennedy is quiet. "True..."

Royce sighs, because Calum had actually been right about that on the night he'd crashed her date. "Just 'cause some guys are rich or popular or whatever, it doesn't mean they're right for you, either."

"That's real, too..."

"Do you like Luke?"

Kennedy is quiet again. "...Yeah."

"Then, there's nothing wrong with that," Royce grins, because she's been all over this couple since day one. Kennedy was gorgeous. Luke was hot. They were cute together. "Right?"

So, why didn't Kennedy seem as convinced?

"...Yeah..."

Royce groans playfully. "Okay, so what now?"

"I just--" There's another pause. "Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, but--"

"I doubt it'll be crazy," Royce giggles. "Now, tell me, girl."

"Have you..." Kennedy pauses. "Have you had sex?"

__

By the time Royce gets off the phone, she's hungry.

More procrastination.

She goes into the kitchen and finds it empty.

Her parents were out shopping, and her siblings were probably still in their respective rooms.

Royce takes advantage of the quiet -- she's avoiding her mom like the plague -- and makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, eating it upon the counter as she scrolls mindlessly through Instagram and Facebook feeds...

...When the text comes.

busy???

It's from Calum, and the message makes Royce think that she should probably get back to doing homework.

Maybe he could help her with AP Calc.

Or maybe he could tell her what was wrong with him last night.

Just a thought.

She types back: nah.

And she stares at her phone as her text sends and wonders what else she should say when his next message comes.

Calum: Come outside

Calum: plz

Royce responds with a quickness. come around back.

Royce jumps up immediately, rushing to the back door. If her mom caught Calum in here again she'd probably rather die than get the grounding she'd most likely receive.

It's drizzling outside, and Royce grabs an umbrella and a sweater before she catches sight of Calum and steps out to meet him.

He's got his hood over his head, eyes squinting against the rain, hands in his black jean pockets. His skinnies are rolled up to his ankles and his Vans are getting dirty in the dampening soil.

Royce is staring at his pout and furrowed brow and realizes that she's probably such a creep for staring -- because she wants to push the fluffy black hair from his forehead -- but he should already know these things about her, right?

They meet on the back porch.

"Hey, Royce."

"Hey, Calum."

He steps out of the rain, motioning to the warmth inside behind her.

"Can I come in?"

"Um..." Royce grabs her sweater and pulls it closer around her body. She steps closer to him and shuts the door behind her.

Calum frowns as the door shuts.

"Maybe I should just go..."

"No," she exclaims, and Calum freezes, frowning. "I mean," she shakes her head, "it's not like I don't want you to stay, I just--"

"You just...?"

She blows out a quick breath. "I...My mom kind of knows, and--"

"Knows?" Calum's brow spikes. "Knows what?"

Royce squeezes her eyes shut. It pains her to even say the words: "That you've stayed the night."

Calum's eyes grow wide at once.

Royce grimaces.  "Yeah."

"Holy fuck..."

"Pretty much."

"Fuck me--"

"That's kind of why I'm in trouble."

"Fuck--" And he shakes his head quickly. "Well," he gulps, licking at his lips. "I'll be quick, then."

Royce frowns. "What's up?" And she kind of chuckles. "What are you doing here, actually?"

"Do you like me?" He blurts.

The statement catches Royce completely off guard.

She's floored.

She whispers the response. "What?"

"I mean," he gulps. He's starting to look a little sick. "Like, I'm asking, and I know it's weird, and I know you probably didn't like, expect that or anything, y'know 'cause...I know you think all I do's smoke and have sex and--"

"Calum--"

"--and that's what I used to do, I'm not even going to lie to you. I don't want to lie to you," he shakes his head and licks his lips and gulps again. "I used to do that. All the fucking time. And I -- I don't want to do that anymore, 'cause I met you, and oh God, your mom knows I was over here, holy fuck--"

"Calum, I don't--"

"It's been driving me crazy," he whines. "I think about you at school, and when I'm home and when I'm with my friends, and, and I'm sorry for last night," he apologizes. "Like, I'm so sorry 'cause for a second I thought you might like me too, and then I realized that you probably don't, 'cause why would you? You're smart and beautiful and funny and I'm just..." He shakes his head. "I'm just me. I'm just Calum, and my friends are weird and I'm just as weird as them and I fucking know Emma and I'm just a fucking mess. My life is messed up. God, I'm so fucked, I can't--"

"You're not--"

"I am. I so am, and it fucks me up 'cause I know how I feel about you, and I know you probably won't feel the same, and I realized that last night. But," he smiles sadly,  "we could be friends though, right? Like, more than just the sex? More than just the sex and calc? Maybe we could be more than that?"

Royce's heart is beating. He's rambling and talking about a million different things and she's trying to figure out exactly what he's asking.

"Calum," she begins, "are you alright? I--"

He groans now, hands over his eyes, "I sound like a fucking idiot, and," his fingers trail slowly from his face, "I'm gonna try to stop sounding like an ass, 'cause what I'm trying to say's that I'm sorry."

Royce frown deepens. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry," he gulps again, fists clenched at his sides, "Sorry 'cause I like you," he finishes. "Like, I like you a lot. A whole lot. And, I'm sorry that you're you, and I'm sorry that I have to be me, 'cause I like you so much that it's killing me, and Ash told me to just ask you out, but I'm an idiot and..."

Calum gulps again, running a hand through his hair.

He takes a deep breath, as Royce stares at him with a slight smile and a furrowed brow.

"Calum--"

"Look, Royce," he begins again. "I like you. I really fucking like you, and I'm," he bites at his bottom lip, "I'm hoping you might give me a chance to show you how much, 'cause right now, it's like I can't go the whole day without thinking about you, or wondering how you're doing, and I've never ever felt like this before, so..."

He stares apprehensively, "I'm hoping that maybe, one day, you could have feelings for me, too?"

___

oop HE TOLD HER FAM.

i love them.

@zarrysxtattoos asked all the way back in chapter ii.vii. if i'd make a spin off about luke and kennedy and i'm definitely considering a one-shot, but don't worry there's gonna be more of them in this don't worry y'all.

I heart luke and kenn too. <3

fallingforyou || the 1975