"But I feel I'm getting used to being held by you..."
___

Calum realizes there's something immediately wrong when he wakes up the following morning.

He attempts to move and can't. The sun is streaming in between the blinds and he's warm; toasty and cozy beneath the blankets on top of him and also pinned to the bed by the head on his shoulder, hand on his chest. Royce's breath is fanning across his skin and her hair is across his shoulder and beneath his cheek. She's breathing evenly, light cast across her skin. Her manicured nails are resting on the hard lines of his stomach and her skin is dark and pretty and blemish-free against his. It's the perfect juxtaposition of light and darkness beneath the muted rays of sunlight, and Calum realizes that the two of them are a reflection of this. They're light and dark. She's the good girl and he's the troubled boy. She's the serious girl and he's the carefree boy. She's Poppy and he's Calum, and he doesn't know what to do with the feelings suddenly erupting in his chest at the thought of her.

And he's slept over from the night before, simply holding her in his arms and kissing her head and allowing her to sneak food to him and keep his presence hidden from her family. He'd stayed the night and held her close and not once felt like he was making a wrong decision.

They hadn't even had sex.

Royce had fallen asleep in his arms on his chest and now...Now, what was really fucked up was that he was the one feeling some type of way and was she?

Probably not.

Now, he shifts beneath her, clearing his throat.

She stirs.

Calum watches as her brow furrows and she blinks slowly, hand trailing down his chest as she raises it to her eyes.

He's sorry for waking her, now.

Her eyes adjust and she stretches, the light from the sun making her eyes turn gold and green and Calum's chest does that weird thing again as his heart-rate goes up.

She chuckles sleepily, her throaty morning voice somehow affecting him more than he'd expect, too.

"Sorry," she laughs, pushing herself from him and sitting up in bed. She keeps the sheets against her chest as she shakes her head. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you like that."

"I mean..." He gulps, shrugging as she combs through her hair with her fingers. "It's fine."

"Y'know," Royce grins, "you're surprisingly very comfortable."

Calum doesn't know why all of her words this morning are making him feel these feelings.

"Yeah," he chuckles, rubbing the back of his head. "Glad I could help."

"Hopefully I didn't snore in your face."

"I uh...Ha. Wish I remember..."

She giggles.

His heart hammers.

"I'm, uh...Royce, I gotta go..."

And he says these words and realizes that he doesn't mean them.

Royce shrugs, though.

"Okay," she says. "Thanks for," she stares at the blankets surrounding her, "Thanks for everything."

And Calum hears those words and says, "Yeah, sure. Of course," and thinks she shouldn't be 'okay' with him leaving, though. He wants her to pull him back into bed, or something, because he's staring at her and he doesn't wanna leave. He doesn't want to leave her. He wants to get back into that pink bed and lie beside her and listen to her sing to the All American Rejects even though Fall Out Boy is way better.

But, this is exactly why he has to go. This is why he trips and falls in an attempt to put his jeans back on and this is why he hurries out of that house because she laughs at him, and when she laughs his heart beats both faster and harder in his chest at the sight of her closed eyes and hair falling over her shoulders.

"See you at school?" She asks, and Calum is wondering if her big brown eyes and slight smile are adding to the hopeful tone he thinks he hears in her voice.

He nods. "Yeah."

This is why he's got to get fast away from Poppy Royce Greene in The Bluffs.

And he thinks maybe a bit of separation will do him some good. They've definitely been spending too much time together. He needed some time with his mates somewhere in the city. He needed to not text her, although every second it seems he checks his phone to see if she might be texting him. He needed to not talk to Royce for a while, despite being upset because why wasn't she texting him, and why didn't she want to?

This Wednesday morning rolls in and somehow, things are worse, because now there are other people in the halls and in class and at frees and now there are other people talking to Royce and touching her and making her smile and making her laugh and each of those gestures is slowly starting to drive him crazy because no one else should get the opportunity to do that. Everyone in this whole fucking school should know that only he got to do that because she was -- he halts that thought immediately.

Royce is nearly an adult, he thinks.

She can do what she wants, dammit, he says aloud.

She doesn't even like you like that, he tells himself.

Get it together, Cal.

And he nearly does.

Nearly.

Royce slides into her seat beside Calum at the final bell and smiles a smile that makes his heart beat heavy and a smile of his own to match hers.

She tilts her chin. "'Sup."

He shrugs. "You tell me," he replies, "since you slept like a baby on my rock hard abs last night."

Royce hides a smile Calum can see in her eyes. "By 'rock hard' do you mean pillowy? Soft, maybe?" She pokes his chest. "Dough-like?"

"Hey! Stop!"

She laughs aloud, their classmates straining their necks to decipher the reasons behind the outburst.

Rubbing his chest, Calum smirks. He doesn't notice the staring, today. "You of all people should know that nothing about me is soft, Royce."

Her tongue goes to the inside of her cheek. "Is that a sexual reference, young man?"

Calum takes one of her hands from her desk, making Royce yelp as he places her palm on his inner thigh.

"You tell me."

She drags her nails in circles, nearing his zipper. "Because if it was," her voice lowers and Calum doesn't think he's gonna be able to make this whole class if she's gonna talk to him like that, "I should put you on time-out."

He drops his voice. "Sounds like someone's feeling better."

Royce's eyes widen. She wasn't expecting him to say that, but now he's staring at her with a hopeful expectancy and she's kind of warmed by the sentiment.

"Yeah," she whispers. And she grins, squeezing his thigh. "Yeah, I am," and she pulls a face as he grins. "Kinda."

And their faces are already close because they're whispering, but Royce begins to lift a brow, laughing a little because Calum's face seems to grow nearer and nearer, cheek rested on his knuckles as he stares at her with this sleepy grin.

"Calum?"

He sits up. "Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I--" Royce shakes her head as their teacher walks briskly into the class. "Never mind."

Calum doesn't get the chance to respond.

"Sorry I'm late," says Sister Mary Magdalene. "Pull out paper for a pop quiz..."

___

By the end of Wednesday, Calum realizes he might have a slight problem.

He doesn't exactly know what it is, but it only becomes a real issue when his friends start to notice.

"Lunch?"

"Ashton," Lola exclaims, as she and Kennedy wait for Royce to join them. "We're eating off campus, today."

"Cool," Luke slings his arm over Kennedy's shoulder. "Where're we going?"

"I want pizza," Ashton nods. "Let's get pizza."

"Ooh," Luke's eyes light up instantly. "Pizza."

Kennedy laughs. "We aren't getting pizza, peasants."

"We're getting coffee and sandwiches because we are classy people," Lola grins. "And we aren't gonna eat it on top of my car, either--"

"Well," Ashton snorts, "I'd hope not, 'cause it's fucking raining."

"--because we're going to a cafe. And," she adds with a pointed look at Calum, "last time I checked Mr. I-Crash-Dates-For-Fun, you guys didn't do cafes."

He shrugs. "I do what I want."

Luke turns to Kennedy, placing both hands on her shoulders. "Why don't you eat with us, anymore?"

"Luke," she deadpans. "We ate lunch together yesterday."

"No, I mean without them," he pulls a face behind Lola's back. "Y'know, those girls you hang out with who aren't as fun as us."

Lola doesn't even look up from her phone. "Saw that, Hemmings."

"You totally did not."

"I see everything, Luke," and she lifts a pointed brow. "Like, right now I can see that boner growing in your pants next to Kenn--"

Ashton and Calum laugh hard and loud.

Kennedy blushes hard, sliding from his grip.

Luke scowls viciously. "I don't have a fucking boner!"

Lola shrugs as Ashton lifts his hand for a high-five.

She slaps his palm. "I know, I know. Love me. I'm hilarious."

"Eh, sometimes," grins Royce as she approaches. "You're hit or miss, Lols."

Lola ignores that. "Are you ready? God, I'm starving."

Royce nods, pulling open her locker. "Lemme get my--"

"Where were you?" Asks Calum, as he leans against the adjacent lockers and watches her grab things for lunch. He fingers her hair. "You've got us all waiting, Royce."

She laughs. "I had to see Sister Mary Magdalene. Nothing serious."

He lifts a brow. "Everything okay?"

She nods. "Yeah, she, uh..." She shrugs, "she heard about yesterday," and she turns to Calum as he registers all that happened yesterday.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she nods. "We talked. It was good," and she slams her locker closed, turning to him. "Now, where the hell are we eating?"

"Royce," Ashton begins, "tell Lola to let us come."

Royce laughs as Lola rolls her eyes. "Why can't Ashton come?"

And Royce misses the answer because Calum's pulled her gently aside. "You're sure everything is okay?"

Royce nods, realizing that he's still on Sister Mary Magdalene and Dina and that other shit. "Yeah," she whispers. "She kinda..." She lets out a quick breath. "She kinda knows."

That surprises him again. "She does?"

Royce nods.

And then she frowns. "Can we talk about this later?" She whispers. "Just," she shakes her head. "Not now."

"You actually promise to talk?"

She laughs, blowing hair from her eyes. "I do."

"You're sure?"

"I am--"

He grins.

"What?"

He shrugs, that little grin still visible.

Royce lifts a brow, because there's that little grin of his from class, again. "What?"

He pokes her stomach, and she recoils, laughing.

"Stop!"

"Stop, what?" He grins, poking her again.

"Calum, stop it!"

"Stop, what?" He repeats, backing her against the lockers and grabbing her waist, tickling her repeatedly.

She laughs aloud. "Leave me alone!" She exclaims. "Stop it! Stahhp."

"What the fuck are you two doing?"

Calum watches Royce jump from his hands and he stares after her, smiling.

"Well," Lola snorts. "If you two are quite finished, I say we go to lunch," and she stares between Royce and Kennedy. "Right, guys?"

"Right."

Kennedy sighs. "Whatever you say, Lols. Whatever you say."

"So, we're coming."

"Jesus, guys..."

"Lola, shame on you," Ashton exclaims, as he leads her towards the school lot. "You should never take the Lord's name in vain."

___

"Dude," Ashton says on Thursday at lunch as Calum stares across the room and watches that blonde kid, Niall, tell Royce some stupid joke that makes her laugh at his stupid fucking face.

Calum is now in the process of texting her.

eew why are you with that l0ser??

"Yeah...?"

The boys are waiting for Luke and Mikey to join them.

"Why don't you just ask her out?"

Calum frowns, watching as Royce laughs and rolls her eyes and texts him back. "Who?"

Ashton rolls his eyes. "You know who, idiot."

Poppy: you're the only loser i know

Poppy: see what i did there :)

"Royce."

Calum is smiling at his phone. "Yeah," he says, typing. "What about her?"

WHY YOU SO MEAN TO ME

Ashton runs his hand through his hair. "Am I really gonna have to spell this out for you, mate?"

Poppy: hehehhehe

Poppy: <3<3<3

Calum is smiling at those hearts.

"Huh?"

And Ashton groans, reaching out and snatching Calum's phone from his hand.

Calum stares in shock across the cafeteria table. "Wha--What the fuck, Ash?"

"Dude!" Ashton exclaims, staring at the messages. "You're texting her, now?"

Calum blinks. "Yeah," he snaps, snatching his phone back. "So what?"

Ashton shakes his head. He laughs, running his giant hands across his face. He stares across the table at his friend and shakes his head again, giggling louder.

"Ask her out, Cal."

Calum chokes. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. Ask her out."

"Who?"

Ashton deadpans. "S'really not that hard, mate."

Calum shakes his head. "Royce wouldn't go out with me."

Ashton stares blankly at his friend. "Whatever, Cal," he snorts, "Look, then do something else. I was thinking of going to that party, y'know? Since, well, Mikey was gonna go with Emma, and I gotta make sure Emma doesn't kill anybody, and Lola already said she was gonna go..."

"To Jesse's?"

"Yeah. His."

Calum turns. "I'll think about it..."

And Ashton laughs. "What's there to think about?" He chuckles softly. "Fuckin' knew you were into her...You've obviously got a major fucking crush-"

Holy shit.

The realization hits, and it hits hard.

He had a massive fucking crush.

On Royce.

He really, really liked Royce.

And, honestly, it was more than that.

Like, he wanted her to know he liked her. He wanted her to like him back. He wanted to come over to her house and hang out and he wanted to pick her up in his car and drive and not care about where they were going. He wanted to get her up and away from her mom and Snake and Emma and the shit in Seattle and he wanted to go anywhere they could be together and not worry about not being together.

And Calum places his head in his hands because shit.

Shit.

Calum liked Royce and he wanted to be with her and that was way scarier than anything he was dealing with.

And he was sober with these thoughts.

And he didn't know what the fuck to do about it.

___

what's happening cal what's happening?? lol he likes royce... :)

stockholm syndrome || one direction