"I'm not a teacher, babe, but I can teach you something..."
_________
On Monday morning, Royce feels a mixture of emotions she really isn't too keen on feeling on a fucking Monday.

For starters, she's got this test.

And she's running late.

And additionally, (and probably, most importantly if she really admits it to herself), she's got to see Calum.

And sit next to him.

And be around him.

And take this Calc test.

And that is why life is a joke.

Because honestly, what was she thinking, she wonders as she climbs into Paige's car and waits for Tobe to meet them outside so they can get to this hell-hole AKA high school.

Like, really?

Why.

Why?

Why did she have sex with him?

Why'd she have to hook up with him? Why couldn't she have chosen someone else? Or, better yet, why couldn't she have kept her shit together and left her pants on and not done anything with him at all? Why couldn't she have just done math? Why couldn't she have left their interaction last Sunday strictly for studying, 'cause that's why he came over, right?

To study.

And she ended up doing a little - what the hell, a lot - more than studying.

Now, it'll be awkward.

She's awkward. She feels so damn awkward.

How the hell is she supposed to act around him, now?

Because what happened - what happened between them - can't ever happen again.

Ever.

Even though, it wasn't that bad.

Sex with Calum wasn't bad.

It wasn't bad at all.

It was actually pretty good.

It was actually more than good.

It was way better than her first time, but her first time was borderline horrific.

"Stop it, Royce," she tells herself, as Tobe finally jogs to the car and slides into the backseat. "Stop thinking about Calum and think about Calc."

__

"SHIT. Let The Lord be with me for this shit, I swear..."

"Way to curse in the same sentence as The Lord," Luke laughs, as Kennedy stands between him and Calum outside the lockers across the hall from their class.

"You know what I mean," she sighs, rifling through her textbook and class notes and attempting to cram everything she'd learned into the last few minutes before the bell rings. "I need Jesus to understand that shit is about to get real."

Luke laughs harder, and Calum kind of cracks a smile.

"Hey," Kennedy reaches out and nudges his shoulder. "Laugh. I know I'm hilarious."

Calum leans tiredly against the lockers, the sound of metal clanging in the halls. "Um, I'm hilarious," Calum responds. "You're just..." and he flicks her nose playfully, "you, Kenn."

She only waves him off, leaning against the wall as Luke looks over her shoulder at her notes. "Whatever. Your negativity is distracting me from studying right now," and Kennedy pulls out her phone as Calum rolls his eyes with a laugh. "Now, where the fuck is Royce...?"

And at the mention of her name, Calum's heart does something weird, because it feels like it's fallen into his stomach, or something equally unnecessary.

He should've smoked, today.

"Why?" He asks, as nonchalantly as possible. "Why d'you need her?"

"She was supposed to get here early to study with me."

And Luke groans loudly, running his hands through his hair and across his face.

"Fuck," he exclaims, yawning. "Shit, I can't keep my eyes open..."

Kennedy frowns, looking between her friends and noting the deep bags beneath their eyes, hoods pulled over their hair. Everything about the two of them was duller than usual.

"What the hell? Did you guys party after church, yesterday?"

Because yesterday was Sunday, after all.

Calum yawns. "This is why I don't laugh at your jokes, Kenn."

"Shut up, Calum. Why do you two look like you've been out all night?"

Luke yawns again. "Ask Michael."

"He isn't here. That's why I'm asking you."

Luke and Calum exchange glances.

Yeah, they're exhausted.

Yeah, it's kinda nice Kennedy's concerned.

No, they don't wanna tell her why.

They were out last night, because Michael got a call from Snake.

A new shipment came in, ready for him to pick up, which he said he could either get himself, or have Snake bring to him personally.

Luke and Calum, who wanted Snake no where near the places they frequented - like school and home - suggested he pick that shit up, himself.

And so, they did.

At like, two in the fucking morning.

"Fuck you guys; I went last time," said Ashton when they called him to give Michael a ride.

"Fuck you, Ash," Luke had muttered when he realized his mate had hung up on him.

"Whatever," Mikey had sniffed. "We don't need him, anyway. You can drive, right, Cal?"

"If I drive, m'not getting out of the car."

"Fine. Luke can come. Where're your keys?"

Luke's eyes widened as Calum fist-pumped the air. "What?"

Snake was a dealer.

Well, he was more like the dealer.

He was where everyone, from the random high school stoners like Michael to the real lords running rings throughout the city, bought their...whatever. He was the cheapest. You couldn't beat his deals.

For a price.

Calum hated Snake.

So did Luke.

Ashton was pretty indifferent, considering the fact that he only drove Michael to meet him whenever he needed a ride. He didn't have to deal with him. He never went in to deal with him.

But everything about the guy was oily. From his beady black eyes to that thin black ponytail to the dirt under his nails, he screamed 'How about we don't meet this guy in this alley, today.' Calum honestly didn't understand why Michael continued to buy from him, especially considering the fact that he was known to come with stipulations. With Snake, there was always fine print.

And every time Calum accompanied Michael to his warehouse off the wharf, he felt like he sold more and more of his soul to Lucifer. Because the thing about Snake, was that sure, he sold his shit cheaply, but no one ever knew where he got his shit from. He wasn't growing his marijuana. He didn't cook his own cocaine. He was the middle man between sellers, and so why were his prices so cheap, y'know? Like, Calum was good at math. So was Luke. They understood that somehow, some way, Snake had to make a profit.

So, how was he making profit?

No one knew, and Calum figured that he and his 17 year-old-friends should probably stay the hell away from this freak show and just invest in a medical marijuana card and sell that shit and call it a day.

That was way more safe and secure than dealing with Snake.

That was way less risky than making deals with the goddamn devil.

Because there was one thing that you never wanted to happen. From the drugged out kids to the drug lords underground, it was a universal understanding that some things were just all-around shit no matter who was involved. Snake asking you for a favor, was all-around shit no matter who was involved.

No one wanted Snake to ask them for a favor.

Calum did not want to know why.

And all of that was way too much information to share with Kennedy. She'd only freak out and make a big deal out of things.

And Calum was too tired for that. Not to mention, he had this calc test first period, and at the thought of calc, his thoughts instantly skip to Royce.

Royce, Royce, Royce.

Royce, squirming beneath him.

Royce, shuddering at his touch.

Royce's silky hair and her smooth skin and her kissable lips.

Royce, Royce, Royce, Royce -

"Royce!"

And Calum looks up and for some reason his heart beats loudly again. He doesn't know where to look. He doesn't know what to do with his hands.

"Hey, Kenn," she grins, as she approaches, waving. She's in the uniform button up and pleated skirt and blazer and her hair is wind-swept like she'd been rushing, and she looks so good. He wants to kiss her but that would be wildly innapropriate because she wasn't his fucking girlfriend, and they'd only had sex. Like, they'd studied for calc and had sex and studied for calc and that just wasn't a reason to kiss somebody. Of all the girls he'd had sex with before he had not wanted to kiss them 'hello' the following day, so why the hell was he staring so fucking hard at her lips????

Be cool, man.

Be cool.

Luke reaches out and tugs on her blazer as she joins the three of them around the lockers.

"You ready for this test, Royce?" He asks with a slight smirk.

Calum would kind of appreciate if Luke didn't touch her. Thanks.

"Uh," she spares a glance at Calum. "I hope so."

"What?" Calum gasps, because she's got her attention on him, now. "You didn't study?"

Royce shrugs. "Got kinda distracted, y'know?"

And Calum sucks in a sharp breath because he knows exactly what distracted her from studying last night and the memory is turning him on.

Think about calc, mate.

Think about calc.

"Same," Kennedy groans, completely missing the inside innuendos passing between the two. "I was studying and then all of a sudden I was watching a documentary about like, whaling in Tokyo with my dad and seriously, why?"

Royce laughs, forcing herself not to look at Calum.

But, Calum wants Royce to look at him.

"So," Kennedy begins. "About this test, though..."

"Right," and Royce starts flipping open her notebook and focusing her attention on Kennedy, and not Calum, because c'mon. She's not stupid. She can feel his eyes on her and she can't quite focus on calc with all of this...this tension...

Here comes the awkward.

"So, yeah," she clears her throat. "Math..."

Calum laughs aloud.

The bell rings.

Now, Royce actually forgets completely about Calum because she's hyperventilating. She's pretty calm on the outside, but she's freaking the hell out on the inside.

"Fuuuuuck," Luke groans. He rubs his eyes with his palms. He's asleep on his feet. "Shit," and he shakes his head, motioning towards the classroom.

And Calum nods, but he's watching Royce and Kennedy (but, mostly just Royce), skim over their notes for the last time and flip frantically through pages as if that's going to somehow do something to help them not fail.

Luke yawns loudly. "Let's get this shit over with then, huh?"

The boys trail behind the girls into the classroom, as the hallways fill, high schoolers heading to their classes.

"Pray for me," Kennedy whispers, as she slides into her seat beside Luke.

"Me too," Royce replies, not bothering to take her eyes from her notes.

"Everyone put your extra things away," says Sister Mary Magdalene and Royce freaks out. Her voice squeaks out a, "What?" and her foot starts tapping and her fingers drum on her desk once her notes have been shoved into her tote and she's pulled out a pencil and her graphing calculator.

"Good luck," Sister Mary Magdalene continues, as she passes around the test and kids are in there saying silent prayers and other extra shit, Calum thinks.

It's just a test.

It's not the end of the world.

And when the packet of paper is set before her, Royce bites on her pencil and forces a smile for her teacher and says, "Thank you," to which her calculus teacher replies, "Good luck, Ms. Greene," and Royce only nods because she sure as hell is gonna need it.

She begins reading.

And she calms down a bit because the first part of the test consist solely of functions.

She likes functions.

She hates word problems.

But, she likes functions.

1. find f(g(1)) if:

f(x) = (2x + 2), and g(x) = (-x / 2x - x^2).

And then, she gets to limits. And slope. And other things she learned the year before that are all review, and things she's good at.

At question 18, Royce has to Find the slope of the tangent line to the graph of f at x = 4, given that,

f(x) = - x^2 + 4 /2.

Royce nods, because she can do that, and she flips the page to see that the last two problems are both her worst fears coming to life.

It's Rate of Change.

Both of them word problems.

The first reads,

19. The wind chill is the temperature, in degrees Fahrenheit (°F), a human feels based on the air temperature, in degrees Fahrenheit, and the wind velocity v, in miles per hour (mph). If the air temperature is 32°F, then the
wind chill is given by W(v) = 55.6 − 22.1v0.16 and is valid for 5 ≤ v ≤ 60.

(a) Find W ′(20). Using correct units, explain the meaning of W ′(20) in terms of the wind chill.

(b) Find the average rate of change of W over the interval 5 ≤ v ≤ 60. Find the value of v at which the instantaneous rate of change of W is equal to the average rate of change of W over the interval 5 ≤ v ≤ 60.

(c) Over the time interval 0 ≤ t ≤ 4 hours, the air temperature is a constant 32°F. At time t = 0, the wind velocity is v = 20 mph. If the wind velocity increases at a constant rate of 5 mph per hour, what is the rate of change of the wind chill with respect to time at t = 3 hours?

Indicate units of measure.

There's another problem nearly identical to this.

Kill her now.

And her fingers start tapping and her knee bounces because damn it, this is what she did not fucking want.

How did Calum do this for her, again? She's thinking back as hard as she can to the day before, when they were going over math and not when his hands were all over her body and her clothes were stripped to the floor and his tongue was between her lips...

Fuck.

Focus, Royce!

Calum is on the last page and he can hear her moving beside him and at once, he realizes why she's started to freak.

"Royce," he whispers, as his eyes skim the test. "Relax."

Royce's teeth are clenched. "I can't," she whispers back. "I'm gonna fail-"

And what surprises Royce even more than these calculus problems is the way Calum reaches out and grabs her hand from the table and laces his long fingers through hers.

Her eyes widen, and she turns her head, making direct eye contact. 

Calum stares back at her.

And then, he smiles.

His eyes are really tired, and she wonders what the hell kept him up afte he left her...but, that thought dissipates because his eyes brighten in that moment. They're brown and friendly, and not exhausted, and his lip is curved up in the slightest of smiles.

"Relax," he mouths, squeezing her hand one more time before he turns back to his problems, resuming his test.

His eyes scan his problems, and as their teacher's eyes scan the room, he whispers, "You know this."

And Royce does something strange.

She believes him.

She turns back to her test and does math. 

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I'm actually so excited for this story.

I keep saying that but it's all true. So many ideas for this one...hehe!

Here comes drama, and y'all know I love me some drama.

schoolin' life || beyoncé