Burning: and we're back

Skye: No. More. Furry.

Burning: first dare, @godAnthony wants ash and Serena to kiss

Ash: the chocolate?

Everyone else: *dramatic facepalm*

Ash: what?

Camilla: didn't clemont teach you about.. that?

Ash: oh no I fell asleep after like eight seconds

Serena: why do I love him?

Ash: if I don't know what I'm doing, how can I do it? It's not like someone's going to make me do-

Skye: *pushes ash into Serena making them kiss* JUST KISS DAMNIT

Bonnie: *filming while holding a half-dead clemont* I'll send you the video

Ash: what was that? Is Serena sick, her face is red. Really, really red.

Serena: *blushing redder than the red part of a pokeball* OH MY ARCEUS I KISSED ASH I JUST KISSED ASH DID I REALLY MY LIFE IS COMPLETE WAIT HAVEN'T I ALREADY KISSED HIM I DON'T CARE I LOVE IT AHHHHHH  *faints*

Ash: huh?

Burning: moving away from that we have a pretty obvious truth from kru. Why does misty hate Gary?

Misty: he's a pervert, he has an ego bigger than ashes stomach, he hired cheerleaders for himself, he's a f*cking oak tree, he has fake gym badges, he ate my goldeen, he stalks girls, he gets free fame for having a famous grandfather, he keeps hitting on me, his browsing history is dirtier than a grimer rolling in a field of sh!t, there's so much more but that's the basics of why I and every girl hates Gary motherf*cking oak tree

Gary: aww come on, everyone wants to go out with good old gary

All the girls including the ones that aren't even in the spaceship: NO/NOT ME/ F*CK YOU/ GO F*CK YOURSELF/ I'D RATHER STARVE

Gary: but misty loves me

Misty: I'd rather date brock. Heck, I'd rather date your grandfather. Actually, I'd rather date almost anyone else other than date gary

Paul: let's just get on with the dares, we don't need to talk about that pervert any longer

Burning:before more dares, Camilla's sister is here

Goh: *readies a pokeball*

Luna: *walks in*

Goh: *throw the pokeball* POKEBALL, GOH!

Camilla: *shoots it* don't. Even. Try. 

Luna: soo, what do I do?

Burning: your sister will explain later. Next dare

Skye: punch Paul, drew and Gary in the face

Gary, Paul & drew: *while tied to a wall* AHHHHHH/F*CK MY LIFE/ GET ME OFF THIS WALL!

Machamp: *starts punching them hundreds of times per second, in the face*

Gary: * loses a tooth* AHHHH

Paul: *breaks his neck* oh arceus *dies*

Drew: *covered in blood* that was the worst

Luna: is this normal?

Skye: this is pretty calm, actually. Normally we'd have more chaos

Luna: I thought that a lot of chapters were nam-

Camilla: *covers her mouth* fourth wall, remember?

Luna: right

Burning: our next dare, max & Bonnie get aged up, and their own pokemon. Also, we used rng to decide blank spots

Bonnie's Pokémon:

Squishy (zygarde)

Dedenne

Magikarp

Alcremie

Spearow

Staryu

Max's pokemon:

Ralts

Sableye

Carvana

Cacturne

Murkrow 

Tyranitar

(How the hell did I roll 5 dark types in a row?)

Max: I HAVE A TYRANITAR?! AWESOME! 

Bonnie: magikarp? Really? Spearow and staryu? Why did it give me 3 out of 4 random Pokémon to be first stage kanto pokemon?

Max: I realize I have 5 dark types. I WILL BECOME AN EVIL GYM LEADER! *evil laugh*

May: *bonks his head* behave, young man

Max: I'm the same age as you now

May: (damnit he's right)

Skye: now for my last dare, we will all be doing an irl totk 

Ash: what is that?

Burning: you'll figure it out soon. We'll be playing in teams of three, but you'll all meet up briefly at lookout landing. If you die in a main quest fight, you die for good. I'm just gonna watch

Teams :

Ash, Gary, Paul 

Serena, misty, dawn

Drew, clemont, max

June, korrina, bonnie

Skye, camilla, Luna

Goh and brock

On great sky island

With Gary, ash & Paul 

Gary: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! *misses and falls off* oh hey I'm back

Paul: ASH HOW THE HELL DO YOU FALL FROM THIS HIGH? *misses and respawns*

Ash: *lands on a lilypad* I have no idea

Paul and Gary: *eventually land* so what now?

Ash: I don't know

Steward construct: *gives them the purah pad*

Ash: HOLY CRAP AN ANCIENT NINTENDO SWITCH?!

Gary: coo- *falls off* AHHHHH

With Serena, misty & dawn

Serena: oh no I've been separated from ash 

Misty: WHERE'S MY MALLET?!

Dawn: um, girls?

Misty/Serena: yeah?

Dawn: *points at a flux construct that noticed them*

Serena/misty: ohhhhhh shiiiiiiii- *gets crushed*

With drew, clemont & max

Max: I HAVE TELEKINETIC POWERS!

Clemont: THERE MUST BE A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR THIS!

Drew: clemont, the first king of this world gave the three of us his hand, literally, then told us to go to this shrine, gave us a power and called it "ultrahand". I don't think science can explain it

Clemont: nonsense, I will discov- *falls off the edge* 

Max: drew, I made the zip line thing

Drew: alright, let's go

With Bonnie, korrina and April

March: IT'S MAY!

Bonnie: May, it's June right now

February: I MEAN MY NAME!

Korrina: girls, check out this rock hammer

January: CAN I USE IT TO MURDER WHOEVER KEEPS SCREWING UP MY NAME?!?

Korrina: nope, now let's do the puzzle

Bonnie: right

With skye, camilla and Luna

Luna: HOW COME YOU CAN FLY AND WE HAVE TO WALK?!

Skye: I have wings

Camilla: atleast bring us up there

Skye: *makes a ramp using ultrahand* 

In the ascend shrine

Skye: alright, see you at the end *flies off*

Luna: seems a little unfair

With goh and brock

Brock: bye * dissapears into the jelly filled donut universe*

Goh: I'm so lonely 

At lookout landing

With ash, Gary & Paul

Gary: *sees purah* oh my god so f*cking hot 

Paul: Gary, not now

Ash: of course it's hot, it's June

Paul: not what he meant

Gary: *gets hit in the face* OWWWW

With Serena, misty and dawn

Dawn: does this place have a hair salon?

Random hylian: what the hell is a hair salon?

Dawn: NOOOOOOOOO!!! *starts crying*

Serena: wait, where's misty?

Misty: *gets launched* AHHHHHHHH HOW DO I USE THIS?

With drew, clemont and max

Max: how much money do we have?

Clemont: 16 rupees

Max: damnit not enough

Drew: guys, there's ash and his team. Looks like Gary pissed someone off again

Gary: *gets hit out of LL* OWW MY HEAD

Ash: oh hey guys

Paul: we've had to deal with Gary's stupidity for so long

Serena: ASH!

Misty: *dizzy* never, again

Drew: alright, what happened?

Dawn: she used the skyview tower

Misty: never. Again.

December: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS RAMEN!?

Bonnie: CALM DOWN MAY!

Korrina: *holding May back*

Ash: there's the other team

Luna: HOW THE HELL AN I SUPPOSE TO DO THIS!?!? *falls in the water*

Camilla: YOU SHOULD'VE TAUGHT US HOW TO FLY! *also falls in the water*

Skye: you wanted to do it...

Goh: I MADE IT! 

Everyone else: *leaves while talking about who will go where*

Goh: I'm so lonely...

Skye: so, to review: 

Me, camilla and Luna will go to rito village

Drew, clemont and max will go to death mountain

Serena, misty and dawn will go to zora's domain

May, Bonnie and korrina will go to gerudo town

And ash, Gary and Paul will investigate the ring ruins, and do that stuff

Everyone else: right! *leaves to go on their respective path*

Goh: *finally arrives* hello.? ... I'm so lonely

With skye, camilla and luna

Skye: so, we climb up these rocks, and get to the temple, ok? (I'm assuming you played TotK skye)

Tulin: right 

Camilla & Luna: WE DON'T HAVE WINGS

Skye: use the paraglider and tulin's power *flies up*

Luna: here goes nothing *glides to the next block* huh, that worked

120 rocks later

Luna: the temple of wind, inside a blizzard, is a boat? Really?

Skye: hey, you come from a universe where the evil team in unova drove a pirate ship through the sky and shot ice everywhere. This is more or less the same

Luna: damnit your right

Camilla: HELP ME FIGHT THIS THING *swings her sword around blindly hoping to hit the construct*

Colgera Boss fight

Luna: WHAT IS THAT!?

Skye: good luck *flies off*

Camilla: *while holding her paraglider* so, what do we do?

Tulin: wait for an openi-

Skye: *flies through the first section* SKYDIVE B!TCH!

Luna: whatever we're doing, the music is good

After the boss fight

Skye: annnd, we're done

Luna: so we go back now, right?

Skye: yep

At death mountain

Yunobo: *attacks*

Max: *dodges*

Drew: *dodges with grace*

Clemont: *is too slow* OWWWWWW

Drew: NOW, MAX!

Max: RIGHT! * throws a bomb at the roof, causing it to drop lots of rocks on yunobo, breaking the mask*

Moragia boss fight

Clemont: *while driving a scientifically advanced plane* FIRE! 

Yunobo: *hits two heads at once*

Max: Multiple hours in and finally clemont is useful

Drew: right

Clemont: FIRE!

Fire temple

Max: AHHH ITS SO HOT!

Clemont: *while ultrahanding a frost emitter shower of some sorts* get under here

Max: under whe-

Drew: DON'T FINISH THAT!

Max: wh- ohhhhhhhhhhh

Marbled gohma Boss fight

Drew: *smashing the legs with a cobble crusher*

Max: *shooting the eye*

Clemont: *somehow flying a cannon around* BLAST HIM! FIRE 1! FIRE 2! FIRE 3!

They kill the boss and go back

Zora's domain 

Dawn: AHHH MY HAIR IS COVERED IN SLUDGE!

Misty: I wish it was clean, I could swim

Serena: just, continue the quest

Sludge-like battle

Dawn: THIS IS FOR MY HAIR! *fires a power washer at the sludge like, killing it*

Serena: that was easy

Misty: yep, super easy 

They basically do the same for the mucktorok

Gerudo town

Bonnie: AHHH ZOMBIE! *shoots a gibdo, but it does nothing*

Korrina: BURN IT! *throws  a fire fruit at it, killing it*

November: oh, so we have to use elements

Gibdo invasion 

Korrina: *rollerblading around while swinging a Ruby sword* KILL THEM WITH FIRE!

October: *shooting lighting at the hive* two down!

Bonnie: *guarding the town* GET THE LAST ONE, QUICK!

Queen gibdo

Bonnie: IT'S TIME TO DIE, YOU OVERSIZED INSECT! 

Korrina: ATTACK!

September: *strikes it repeatedly*

Phase 2

August: AHHHH RUN INTO THE LIGHT!

Korrina: there's so many

Bonnie: NO THEY GOT ME!

Bonnie dies, and is a loser

Korrina: BONNIE NO!

July: THIS IS FOR BONNIE! *fires thousands of lighting bolts at Queen gibdo*

June and korrina return to lookout landing, heartbroken that Bonnie died

Meanwhile, at the TorD studio

Bonnie: *appears* huh? What happened?

Burning: you died, so now you have to kiss a random other loser once this is done

Bonnie: NOOOOO

kakariko village

Ash: gary, go take the picture

Gary: of what?

Ash: the tablet

Gary: okay *ascends*

Bystander: what the f-

Gary: *drops down* here it is

Paul: alright, let's go

Skipping to the spirit temple

Gary: *controlling mineru* DIE! *punches* DIE! *punches* DIIIIEEEEE! *blasts with cannon*

Seized construct: *dies*

Ash: never thought I'd say this but good job gary

Back at lookout landing

Ash: alright, everyone is here

Clemont: except brock and Bonnie. Brock probably left since he was alone but what happened to Bonnie?

Korrina: well, she kind of,...... died.

Everyone else except korrina & [insert random month of the year]: WHAT!?

April: the gibdo swarm got her

Max: we must continue our quest. FOR BONNIE!

Everyone else: RIGHT! *they all leave for the castle*

Goh: Wait for me! Aww, come on. I'm so lonely

Ganondorf Boss fight

Ganondorf: I have been plotting my revenge for centuries. Now, it is time to die! *charges at paul*

Dawn: PAULY NOOOOOO! *pushes Paul out of the way, getting killed in the process*

Ganondorf: BEGONE! *shoots at drew*

Drew: AHHHHHHHH *dies*

September: YOU WILL PAY! *charges at ganondorf*

Serena: MAY, BAD IDEA!

Ganondorf: *impales February with a spear* 

May: AHHHHHH!

Max: THAT'S MY SISTER! *shoots at him*

Ganondorf: *dodges and charges at max*

Max: *dies*

Goh: *comes from above* IT'S MY CHANCE TO BE THE HERO! *dies from fall damage*

Ganondorf: yo what the fu-

Ash: *hits him in the head* HEY, DEADMAN! OVER HERE!

Ganondorf: YOU SHALL DIE! *shoots at ash*

Serena: ASHY NOOOOOO! *pushes ash out of the way, dying in the process*

Skye: how long til they realize they respawn at TorD studio?

Luna: how long til they realize we're just sitting on a ledge?

Clemont: *fires a cannon* DIE, DEMON!

Ganondorf: *blocks it and slashes clemont, killing him*

Misty: *tries to surprise attack*

Ganondorf: *catches her and kills her* pathetic, simply pathetic

Paul: THAT'S MY LINE YOU BIIIIIIIIIIII *runs at ganondorf*

Ganondorf: *slams him into the ground*

Gary: FOR MY MISTY! HI-YAH! 

Ganondorf: weak, let me show you power *kills gary*

Now, only ash (and the cohosts who were just sitting on a ledge, watching the fight) remained

Ganondorf: what are you gonna do know, mortal? Just give up

Ash: no

Ganondorf: what was that?

Ash: I said.... NO!  *unlocks him bullsh!t main character powers and destroys Ganondorf in one hit*

Ash: I, did it

Suddenly

Ganondorf is still alive, no longer the menace unleashed, now the master of the secret stone

Ash: *is pinned to a wall* this, is the end

Ganondorf: any last words, before I kill yo- AHHH!

Two thirds of Ganondorf life bar dropped in an instant

Ganondorf: who did that?

???: I Did

Ash: that voice, it sounds, familiar

Ganondorf: so, you got a name, kid?

???: my name, is Brock, master of the drying pan

Ganondorf: WHAT?! THE LEGENDARY DRYING PAN!?

Brock: yes, that is me. Now, get your dead hands off my friend *hits Ganondorf with the drying pan, killing him, and skipping the final form because of all hat damage*

Ash, brock, skye, Luna & camilla all get teleported back to TorD studios

Clemont: I was wondering where brock went, where were you?

Brock: because I had no partner,

Goh: I'M RIGHT HERE!

brock: I went to the land of the jelly filled donuts, then to the ultimate test, the test of the drying pan. I succeeded, and came back just in time to save ash. Sorry about anyone I couldn't save

Burning: let me get the wheel, for who has to kiss. I, will not change it no matter what

Misty and Korrina

Serena & drew

Paul & bonnie

Clemont & gary

Max & dawn

August & goh

December: wait, it doesn't say my name I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT YESSSSSSS

Burning: sh!t, didn't think about that

Almost everyone else: *chugging bleach*

Burning: alright, that's all for this chapter, goodbye

Skye/camilla/Luna: bye

(This chapter is 2159 words long)