Mia clapped her hands together, her face lit with pure glee. "Alright, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Dawn, time for the vows!" she announced as she stood in front of the makeshift altar she’d crafted out of chairs and a floral bedspread.

Dawn rubbed her temple. "Mia, sweetie, don’t you think this is a little much?"

"Nope," Mia said cheerfully. "Aunt Dawn, you always say love should be celebrated. So… we’re celebrating!"

"Yeah, but—" Kenny started.

Avery crossed her arms. "No buts! You have to do it. It’s da wuwes!"

Mia held up a piece of paper with dramatic flair. "I wrote the vows for you. Uncle Kenny, you go first!"

Kenny stared at her, horrified. "You wrote them?"

"Yep!" Mia beamed. "And you have to read every word, or else!"

Dawn folded her arms. "Or else what?"

Avery grinned deviously. "Or we’ll tell Mommy you didn’t want to play nice with us."

Dawn and Kenny exchanged a look. They were clearly trapped. Finally, Kenny sighed, took the paper, and began reading with forced enthusiasm.

"I, Kenny, promise to cherish and adore you, Dawn, the most beautiful, intelligent, and kind woman in the world. Every time I see you, my heart races like Pikachu after a Thunderbolt." Kenny paused, his face burning. "Really, Mia? This?"

"Keep going!" Mia urged, bouncing on her toes.

Kenny groaned but continued, his voice monotone. "I vow to protect you from all dangers, like wild Pokémon or bad hair days. I will be your partner in battle and in life, sharing every victory and defeat together. I will even share my last Poké Puff with you, because that’s what true love is."

Brock coughed loudly, trying to hide his laughter, while Ash looked thoroughly bewildered. Misty whispered something to May, who burst into giggles. Kenny glared at them before finishing. "And lastly, I promise to stand by your side forever, because you are my one true love and my forever partner. There. Happy?"

Mia clapped. "Beautiful! Your turn, Aunt Dawn!"

Dawn reluctantly took her paper, glancing at Kenny, whose face was still flushed. "Fine. Let’s get this over with." She cleared her throat. "I, Dawn, promise to support and encourage you, Kenny, even when your hair looks like you lost a fight with a Dodrio."

"Hey!" Kenny interrupted.

"Quiet, Uncle Kenny!" Avery scolded.

Dawn smirked and continued. "I vow to be your best friend, your greatest cheerleader, and the one who always tells you when your jokes are bad. I will help you catch Pokémon, even when you can’t hit the broad side of a barn with a Pokéball. I will never let you lose faith in yourself because I believe in you more than anyone else."

Her voice softened slightly as she read the final lines. "And most importantly, I promise to be there for you, through every storm and every sunshine, because… I guess you’re not the worst person to spend a lifetime with. There, done."

Kenny blinked. "Wow, thanks for the glowing endorsement."

Before Dawn could retort, Mia stepped forward, holding two small boxes. "Now, exchange rings!"

"Wait, where did you get real rings?" Dawn asked, horrified.

Mia grinned innocently. "Mommy let me borrow hers! Aren’t they pretty?"

Kenny stared at the sparkling jewelry. "Your mom is going to kill us."

"Not if you finish the wedding!" Mia said sweetly. "Now put them on!"

With exaggerated reluctance, Kenny slipped the ring onto Dawn’s finger while muttering under his breath. Dawn did the same, rolling her eyes so hard it looked like they might stay that way.

"Okay!" Mia clapped her hands. "Now for the best part. You may kiss!"

"Absolutely not," Dawn and Kenny said in unison.

Avery pouted. "But it’s da rules!"

"We’re not actually getting married!" Kenny protested.

"Yeah, this isn’t a real wedding," Dawn added.

Mia crossed her arms, her face stern. "If you don’t kiss, then you don’t love each other. And if you don’t love each other, you can’t get married!"

The logic was impenetrable. Kenny and Dawn looked at each other, silently pleading for the other to come up with an escape plan. None came.

"Fine," Dawn muttered. "But it’s going to be the fastest kiss in history."

"Deal," Kenny agreed.

They leaned in, their faces crimson, and gave each other the quickest, most awkward peck imaginable. The kids cheered as if they’d just witnessed a grand romantic moment.

"That was perfect!" Mia declared.

Dawn groaned. "This was the worst day of my life."

Kenny nodded. "Agreed."

But the kids? They were over the moon.