Mia clapped her hands as the guests settled into their seats in Dawn’s backyard, now decorated with white ribbons and pink flowers. Kenny and Dawn stood awkwardly under a hastily put-together arch, looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

“Mia,” Dawn hissed through clenched teeth, “what is this?”

“It’s your wedding, Aunt Dawn! You’re welcome!” Mia said cheerfully, holding a clipboard like an overly enthusiastic wedding planner.

“Dee Dee, what is going on?!” Kenny whispered, tugging at his stiff collar.

“I have no idea, but I am not marrying you, Kenny!” Dawn hissed back.

“Oh, yes, you are!” Mia interrupted, pointing a tiny, commanding finger at them. “Aunt Dawn, Uncle Kenny, face each other! It’s time for the vows.”

“I didn’t write any vows!” Kenny protested.

“I did it for you,” Mia said with a devilish grin as she handed them neatly written notes.

Kenny’s eyes widened as he skimmed the paper. “What is this?!” He glanced at Dawn, who was staring at her own paper with a look of pure horror.

“No way, Mia,” Dawn said, shoving the paper back toward her niece. “This is—"

Mia glared. “You’re ruining my big day. Say the vows.”

Avery, who had been munching on a cookie, chimed in with a singsong voice, “Mia worked soooo hard on it.”

Dawn groaned and looked at Kenny. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Kenny sighed. “Fine. But I’m not kissing you.”

“Same,” Dawn muttered.

“Okay, Uncle Kenny, you go first,” Mia chirped, gesturing dramatically.

Kenny cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing at the paper. He winced at the words but began anyway. “Dawn,” he said, his voice dripping with forced emotion, “from the moment I first saw you, I knew… I knew you were the light to my darkness, the peanut butter to my jelly, the—” He stopped, cringing. “Mia, seriously?”

“Keep going!” Mia urged, bouncing on her toes.

Kenny sighed deeply and continued, his voice robotic. “The sparkle to my otherwise boring life. Your beauty blinds me like the sun blinds a poor man without sunglasses.”

Dawn covered her face with her hands as the guests tried to stifle their laughter.

Kenny soldiered on, his face redder than a tomato. “You are my heart, my soul, my everything. Without you, I am but a sad Piplup waddling through life. Will you continue to be my partner, my confidant, my eternal penguin?”

Misty coughed to hide her laugh while Brock gave Kenny a pitying look.

“Your turn, Aunt Dawn!” Mia chirped, handing Dawn the second page of vows.

Dawn groaned and reluctantly started. “Kenny,” she began, her voice flat, “you are the wind beneath my wings, the ketchup to my fries, the—” She paused, glaring at Mia. “Did you really write this?”

“Yes!” Mia said, beaming.

Dawn sighed and kept reading. “The shining star in my darkest nights. Without you, I am like a Beautifly without its wings, a Buneary without its fluff.” Her voice cracked, but Mia gave her an encouraging thumbs-up.

Kenny whispered, “Dee Dee, this is so weird.”

Dawn ignored him and plowed through the rest of the vows. “I vow to love you forever, to support you through thick and thin, and to always keep your hair gel stocked. You are my everything, my eternal penguin.”

“Beautiful!” Mia clapped her hands. “Now, the rings!”

“Rings?!” Kenny and Dawn shouted in unison.

Mia grinned and pulled out two actual wedding rings from a small velvet box. “Ta-da! I borrowed these from Mommy!”

“Borrowed?!” Dawn cried. “Oh, Arceus help me…”

“Now exchange the rings,” Mia said, ignoring their protests.

Reluctantly, Kenny slid the ring onto Dawn’s finger, muttering, “This better not be legally binding.”

Dawn returned the favor, scowling. “I swear, Mia, you’re grounded after this.”

Finally, Mia stood in front of them with a dramatic flourish. “Uncle Kenny, Aunt Dawn… you may now kiss!”

“NO WAY!” they both shouted.

Avery piped up, “You gotta! That’s how it ends!”

Kenny shook his head. “Not happening.”

Dawn crossed her arms. “Over my dead body.”

Mia narrowed her eyes. “Do it, or I’m showing everyone the pictures Avery drew of you two after the wedding.”

“What pictures?” Kenny asked suspiciously.

Avery giggled. “The ones where you kiss a lot.”

Kenny and Dawn froze, their faces pale. Then, with the enthusiasm of people walking to their doom, they leaned in for the fastest, most awkward peck in history.

“There!” Dawn snapped, turning away immediately. “Happy now?”

“Yep!” Mia said cheerfully. “Now let’s have cake!”

As the chaos died down, Kenny whispered, “Dee Dee, we’re never babysitting again.”

“Agreed,” Dawn muttered, glaring at Mia, who was happily cutting a slice of cake.