Dawn and Kenny stood frozen, staring out at the small crowd of their friends and family seated in Avery and Mia's backyard. The decorations were surprisingly elaborate—string lights, flowers, and even an arch draped in white fabric stood proudly in the center of it all. Dawn glared at Mia, who was standing in front of a makeshift podium with a very official-looking clipboard in her hands.

"Mia," Dawn said, her voice strained, "what is this?"

"It's your wedding, Aunt Dawn," Mia said matter-of-factly. "Now hush. You're ruining the mood."

Kenny rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Okay, hold on—why do I have to be a part of this?"

"Because!" Avery piped up, her small hands on her hips. "You wike each oder, so you have to get mawwied!"

"Avery!" Dawn snapped, her face flushing red. "We do NOT—"

"Shhh!" Mia silenced them with a glare. "It's time for the vows."

Both Dawn and Kenny groaned, but Mia was unmoved. She handed Kenny a folded piece of paper. "Here, Uncle Kenny. These are your vows. I worked really hard on them."

Kenny hesitated, glancing at the paper. "You wrote my vows?"

"Yes," Mia said sweetly. "And you better read every word. It's romantic and heartfelt."

Kenny reluctantly unfolded the paper, his face going pale as he read the first line. "Oh no."

"Read it!" Mia commanded, stamping her foot.

With an audible gulp, Kenny faced Dawn, who was already pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. He cleared his throat and began, his voice monotone and unenthusiastic.

"Dawn, from the moment I met you, I knew you were the light of my life. Your smile is brighter than a thousand Pikachu using Thunderbolt, and your laugh is the melody my heart beats to."

Ash coughed violently into his hand to stifle a laugh. Misty elbowed him in the ribs.

Kenny glared at Mia. "Do I have to keep going?"

"Yes," Mia said sternly.

Kenny sighed and continued, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I promise to always let you have the last bite of cake, to laugh at your jokes even when they're not funny, and to stand by your side, even when you're being bossy—"

"Hey!" Dawn cut in, but Mia shot her a warning look, and she groaned in defeat.

"—because you are my everything," Kenny finished quickly, shoving the paper into his pocket. "There. Done."

Mia beamed. "Great job, Uncle Kenny! Now Aunt Dawn, your turn!"

"I don't have any vows," Dawn protested. "Because I'm NOT GETTING MARRIED."

"Oh, you do," Mia said smugly, handing Dawn another piece of paper. "I wrote yours too."

Dawn snatched the paper, skimmed it, and her face turned an impressive shade of crimson. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope," Mia said cheerfully. "Go ahead. Read it."

Dawn reluctantly faced Kenny, glaring daggers at him as though this was all his fault. She took a deep breath and began, her tone sharp enough to cut steel.

"Kenny, you are the wind beneath my wings, the ketchup to my fries, the—oh my Arceus, I can't do this!"

"You have to!" Mia insisted.

Dawn groaned but pushed through the rest, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I promise to always cheer you on, even when you're being a doofus. To share my journey with you, and to never use your hair gel, even when mine runs out."

The crowd burst into laughter, but Mia waved her hands for silence. "Okay, okay, serious part now!" She turned to Avery. "Rings, please!"

Avery skipped forward, holding a small velvet box. "Here! They're real!"

"Where did you even get these?" Dawn demanded, her voice rising an octave.

"eBay," Mia replied nonchalantly. "Now exchange them!"

Dawn and Kenny begrudgingly took the rings and slid them onto each other’s fingers with as much enthusiasm as a Snorlax being woken up.

"And now," Mia declared grandly, "you may kiss!"

"WHAT?!" they both yelled.

Avery crossed her arms. "Aunt Dawn, Uncle Kenny, you have to kiss! It's a mawwiage!"

"We are NOT kissing," Dawn said firmly.

"Yeah," Kenny added. "No way."

Avery puffed out her cheeks. "If you don't kiss, it's not real!"

After an intense staring contest with the two kids, Dawn and Kenny exchanged a defeated look. "Fine," Dawn muttered. "But only on the cheek."

They leaned toward each other awkwardly, their cheeks barely brushing. The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

"There," Kenny said, standing up straight. "Happy now?"

Mia frowned. "Eh, it'll do. But just wait, Aunt Dawn. In ten months, you’ll have a baby boy named Denny and a girl named Fawn."

Dawn and Kenny froze. "WHAT?!"

"Yep!" Avery chirped. "You’re gonna be a mommy and daddy!"

"THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" they yelled in unison, but the kids were already skipping away to grab cake, leaving the "newlyweds" standing in stunned silence.

"This is the worst day of my life," Dawn muttered.

"Same," Kenny agreed.