So.....

I know that my old friend will probably never see this but I just wanted to talk about her....

You guys don't know much about her because I don't really like to talk about that subject....

I stopped being friends with her because I have trust issues and I like my own space.

As time past I started to trust her even less because of everyone around Me, you can't trust anyone at my school, it's only my family and my friends on here that I trust.

I was scared of loseing another friend,  so I left first before she could hurt me like that.

What some people don't understand is that they think they have me figured out, but to be honest, they don't know me at all really.

I express myself more on here so you guys know me a lot more than they people who know me in real life (accept for my family, they know me obviously).

I do things for a reason, even if it's something stupid like making a random noise.

Something like a noise actually means a lot from me, sure I say because I'm bored but it's not just that.

I never tell anyone what I'm truly feeling in real life, because apparently it's a crime to feel anything.

On here I can because unlike them, I can trust you guys because you all understand me.

Like I said, I do things for a reason.

I stopped being friends with my old friend because I was losing trust in her, I felt like she didn't respect me like I respected her, she wouldn't let me have any space at all, I hated it when she'll have tantrums in the middle of class.

I was scared she would hit me one day, like I'm scared my brother will...

I do thinks to protect myself.

To all the people in my school, I show I don't care for her.

I still do kinda.

I stopped being friends with her because I'm not worthy, I'm a waste of space, I'm just so dirt people walk over because they think they're royal and I'm a pesant.

I stopped being friends with her because......she can find way better people than me.

I see this guy in my class (I'm not telling you his name) and I see that he doesn't have any friends anymore really, yes I've seen him with other people talking.

I wanted my old friend to be friends with him, I don't interfere with them, I let her go her own path, but she gets along with him, I see them hanging out with each other which makes me happy.

I know she hates me so much, she despises me but like I said, people think they've got me figured out but they haven't.

She believe that (sorry for my language) I'm a heartless beast, an asshole.

But I do things for a reason.

I know she can do a lot better now she's not friends with me.

Not that long ago she tried to talk to me through Wattpad but I ignored all of her messages because I was still trying to clear my head.

If she text me now I would answer.

I still don't want to be friends with her  but only as friendly acuatitanses (sorry for my spelling).

She wouldn't go anyway with someone as useless as me.

I know she will probably never read this, I could tag her but I don't know if she uses Wattpad anymore.

I just wanted to finally get this off my chest.

I'll shut up now....