Kiawe never overslept, and he was never late. Except for that one time. And this time.

The scenario was brimming with deja vu from the start. When he opened his tired eyes and turned his head to check the time on his alarm clock, panic shot up his spine and forced him out of bed. Afterward, he hastily threw himself together before racing out the door and straight to the Pokémon school.

When he reached the entrance of the classroom, he burst through the door like a madman.

"I'm so sorry, sir!" Kiawe shouted, thinking he had just barged through the door in the middle of Kukui's lesson. "I won't be this late ever again—!"

Then Kiawe froze, trying to keep his jaw from dropping to the floor.

The scenario was bursting with deja vu.

"What on planet earth is going on in here?!"

Every chair and every desk that filled the room were knocked over onto the ground. Books were knocked out of the bookshelves and piled up on the ground. Pawprints littered the floor, the side of the walls, hell, even a bit of the ceiling somehow. Ash, Sophocles, Lillie, Mallow, and Lana all stood on the sidelines with wide eyes and slacked jaws. Meanwhile, Saki and Bob were zooming across the classroom, locked in a chase with her Herdier and his Houndour. What had started as the two Pokémon toying with each other had turned into a straight-up battle that even their trainers couldn't put an end to.

Amidst all this, Kukui was nowhere to be seen.

"Anne!" Saki shouted. "Get your ass back here!"

"Sit, Houndour! Sit, sit!" Bob screamed.

Their commands fell on deaf ears as Houndour opened its jaws and spat out an Ember directed straight at Anne. Anne ducked and rolled out of the way, causing the Ember to hit a chair and set it ablaze. The five bystanders— excluding Lana— all let out a panicked shriek.

The amount of deja vu that Kiawe felt at that moment should be illegal.

"Fire! Fire!" Lillie shrieked, grabbing and shaking Ash's arm. "What do we do?! Ash! What do we do?!"

"I don't know what to do! Don't ask me!"

"Well, we can't just let the chair burn down!" Mallow shouted.

"The chair? Forget the chair, what about the school?!" Sophocles went.

He had barely just woken up, but Kiawe already had a horrific headache. He massaged his temples as he stomped his foot and filled his lungs with a deep breath of air.

"Enough!"

Kiawe's shout was loud and urgent enough to bring the rest of the room to complete silence. Even the two out-of-control Pokémon stopped dead in their tracks.

"You two." He pointed to Saki and Bob. "Return your Pokémon. And Lana, why are you just standing there? Have Popplio put out the fire!"

"Of course." Lana's smile was the textbook definition of sweet and innocent. "I was going to. I just wanted to see how long it would take someone to think of that."

Before anyone could comment, Lana stepped forward and had Popplio's Water Gun put out the fire. Saki and Bob returned their now still Pokémon to their Pokéballs. Peace and prosperity were restored to the classroom.

Although the classroom still looked like a disaster area.

"Is this just what happens when Kukui's not here? Everything devolves into chaos?" Kiawe pinched his nose and shook his head. "Where is Kukui, anyway? Do not say aliens, Ash."

Ash puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms. "I wasn't gonna. I saw Kukui this morning. But then he got a phone call and sorta just rushed out. I thought he was coming here, but apparently not..."

"Maybe something came up with his research? Wouldn't be the first time," Bob said.

"Or maybe something to do with that lady friend of his, if you get what I'm saying." Sophocles wore a cheeky grin. "Heh heh, wink wink, nudge nudge—ow!"

Mallow butted her elbow into Sophocles's shoulder, causing him to screech and rub his struck arm.

"Either way we... um... sorta have a bit of a problem." Lillie pulled at her braids.

"True. Like, without the teacher to teach and stuff, what are we supposed to do with ourselves?" Ash asked.

"...Ash," Saki said as her eyes rolled. "I think she means the trashed room we're all standing in."

Ash's head swiveled back and forth, surveying the damage. He scratched that back of his fluffy head. "Oh. Yeah... that is a problem."

The door squeaked open, making everyone flinch. They turn to see a sullen man standing in the doorway, red eyes sunken and hair gone completely gray. He walked with a slouch, though the fierce look in his eye, the scowl on his face, and the police uniform he wore made him nonetheless intimidating.

Or he would have come across as intimidating if it weren't for the Meowths that clung to him. One rode his shoulder with a content smirk, another grasped his pants with its claws, and another somehow managed to squeeze itself into his chest pocket.

No one knew what to make of him.

The class stared at him. He stared back at the class.

"... I don't know what the hell happened here, and I don't care. Just stand your desks up and sit down so we could get on with this."

The man walked past them and to the front of the classroom without another word, not even sparing a passing glance. The class looked amongst each other. Nothing needed to be said— they all wordlessly agreed that it'd be best not to piss this man off. They sprung into action, collectively lifting their desk and chairs before taking their seats.

The man stared at the class. The class started back at him.

"So..." Even Lana wrung her hands beneath her desk as the man's red eyes focused on her. "Um, you're Nanu, right? Kahuna of Ula'Ula?"

"Yup."

Nanu sat himself on top of Kukui's desk, sitting right on top of the professor's paperwork.

"...And you're also our substitute for today, I'm assuming?" Sophocles asked.

"Yup. Kukui asked, and I couldn't say no because I owe him a favor from over five years ago. I thought he forgot, but I'm here right now so obviously, he didn't."

Nanu groaned, throwing his head back and rolling his neck.

"He said three of you were done with your Akala trials, so he figured having me come in would be a good thing. Don't know what good it does, but here I am. Any questions?"

Ash raised his hand.

"No questions. Good."

Ash lowered his hand with a massive pout that Nanu promptly ignored.

Meanwhile, Mallow poked at Saki's shoulder. The girl jumped in response before leaning in Mallow's direction.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You look tense," Mallow whispered back. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just... don't feel comfortable around cops. I mean, I kind of hate them. From my experiences, they're all cocky assholes—"

"I heard that."

Saki's and Mallow's eyes dart to Nanu to see his grim stare directed straight at them. Mallow broke eye contact as soon as it was made, while Saki went stiff and waited for whatever was about to come her way. The class glanced at the girls, then back at Nanu, trying to pick up on any change in his constant glower.

"It's warranted," Nanu eventually said. "If I had a dime for every cocky asshole I had to work with, I'd be a millionaire."

Mallow breathed a sigh of relief. Saki nudged her side, a lopsided smirk flitting across her face.

"On second thought," Saki whispered, "I think this guy might be alright."

"Anyway," Nanu began. "I told the Ula'Ula trial captains to show up, but they seem to be running late. Typical—"

The classroom door suddenly flew open. A girl with violet hair, silver eyes, and a patchwork dress ran in, grinning from ear to ear. She dragged in a young boy along with her— the boy possessed dark skin, short, bright yellow hair, and matching eyes. The scowl on his face could have rivaled Nanu's, though the Pikachu that rode his shoulder looked happy as can be.

"Sorry we're late, Uncle Nanu!" The girl said with a sing-song tone. "Reynold's Pikachu lost its hat on the way here and we had to find it!"

"I had to find it. Acerola wasn't much help."

The boy was holding a tiny deerstalker cap, better known as the preferred headgear of Sherlock Holmes or the stereotypical headgear of detectives. He placed it on top of his Pikachu's head, who cried with immediate delight.

Acerola threw her hands on her hips. "Don't be a sourpuss— Woah, wait a second. The heck happened here?"

She looked to the pawprint-coated ceiling, then to the floor buried beneath a pile of books, then to Nanu. The man shrugged and pointed his thumb at the students.

"Don't ask me. I don't know anything about it. Ask them."

The class remained silent, everyone waiting for someone else to speak up.

"...Wait!" Bob sprouted up from his seat. "Acerola! You're a trial captain?!"

"Oh? I've never mentioned that, have I?" Acerola giggled— she forgot about the wrecked classroom as quickly as she noticed it. "Well, surprise, Bobbie! Ula'Ula's own Acerola is the captain of the ghost trial!"

She stepped forward and poked Bob's nose, causing him to fall back into his chair with blush illuminating his cheeks. Lana folded her arms and mumbled something beneath her breath.

"You should introduce yourself too, you know!" Acerola looks back at the blond boy and his Pikachu. "Try to smile while you do it! No one likes a frown!"

"I'll never smile," the boy said with a huff. "The world is too bleak a place."

"...You must be really fun at parties," Bob muttered as the color began to fade from his face.

"I wouldn't attend. Waste of time." The blond swept back his hair and fixed his collar, as if trying to appear professional. "Nothing but people being loud and noisy in an attempt to escape the hardships that'll only come back to bite them."

"Wow... you're much too young to be this cynical," Mallow said.

The boy shook his head in response. "Never too young for cynicism. Anyway, I'm Reynold. Junior detective. In exchange for Officer Nanu permitting me to study his work, Pikachu and I oversee the electric trial."

"Pika! Pikachu!" Reynold's Pikachu tipped its hat off to the class, offering an introduction of its own.

"Isn't he adorable?" Acerola asked as she pinched Reynold's cheek. "He's trying so hard to act all serious and stuff, but that just makes him cuter—"

"Stop! Stop! Acerola! I'm not cute!"

Reynold slapped Acerola's hand away, puffing his cheeks out like a toddler. Acerola put a hand over her mouth and giggled.

"Interesting kid..." Kiawe said beneath his breath.

"Agreed..." Lillie sheepishly nodded.

"Alright, we've got introductions over and done with." Nanu stood up from his makeshift seat. "Now, I'm going to have—"

"Oh! Oh!" Ash bounced up and down in his seat. "Are we going on a field trip to Ula'Ula, Nanu?"

"Hell no, I'm not getting paid to do that. I'm going to work on case files while I have Acerola and Reynold put on a movie or something."

Nanu turned to Acerola, who pulled a DVD out from her bag and beamed.

As soon as Reynold read the title, he became bug-eyed.

"What the— Galactic?! That's the movie you picked?! Why Galactic?!"

"Well, since Nanu works in crime and justice and all that, I figured I should get a movie about an actual crime that took place!" Acerola's smile did not fade. "And apparently, Chris Pratt voices Dialga! Who doesn't want to see that?"

"But that movie is inaccurate garbage! The plot of the movie barely follows the actual recorded events of the Galactic case! I would know, I've studied it!" Reynold's face grew red as he ranted. "They characterize the leader as this buff horny guy when every criminal profiler on the planet said he was an emotionless psychopath! He makes out with half the female leads despite there being no recorded romantic relationships involved in the case! There are six different action scenes that have no right to be there! And, oh yeah, for some reason they made it a MUSICAL!"

"Hey, it's show biz. You've gotta take some creative liberties." Acerola shrugged. "Now let's get one of those TVs with the rolling stands and pop this bad boy in!"

* * *

Galactic was an extremely strange movie.

Everyone was silent as they watched it, taking in the absurdity in all its shameless glory. The plot followed Cyrus, played by what looked to be a bodybuilder who "totally never took steroids," and his quest to rule a new world. By his side were two of his most trusted workers, two women played by actors who seemed to be hired for their looks and sex appeal rather than their actual acting ability. What's worse was when the two women needed to sing— they definitely weren't hired for their singing abilities. In this musical.

There were other workers in Cyrus's Galactic corporation that probably should've been focused on, but because they weren't involved in this strange love triangle between Cyrus and the two women, they were promptly demoted to background characters.

By the time the film's climax rolled around, nobody thought the film could get much worse. Then they watched the climax.

It took place on Spear Pillar. The scene began with a musical number performed by 'Cyrus,' who sang out his plan to 'Cynthia'— played by the most talented person in this cursed film— and 'Lucas'— portrayed as a ten-year-old in the plot, but played by a man who was obviously in his thirties. Then, once the song came to an end:

"You'll never stop me, champion!" 'Cyrus' laughed. "I'm simply too good! Ain't that right, ladies?"

"Oh, yes Cyrus~"

"I like it when you laugh all evil-like~"

The two lead women clung to 'Cyrus' as he had an arm wrapped around each of them. One of the women stroked his cheek while the other brushed their fingers against the outline of his abs, thinly veiled by his shirt. They ogled at the man's frame and features, oohing and aahing— Saki had been grumbling about these two characters for the entire film, but at this point, she was too exhausted to utter a single complaint.

That was when 'Cynthia' whipped out an AK 47. Bob couldn't and wouldn't stop laughing.

"Wait, where did you—?" 'Lucas' went to ask.

"I might not be able to stop you, but this can," she said. "Stop this madness and you'll walk out of here alive."

The two women released their grips on 'Cryus' and reached for their holsters to unsheathe their pistols. 'Cyrus' stopped them with a single motion of his hand.

"Don't bother. No man-made weapon will stand in my way when I become lord of both time and space!" 'Cyrus' raised his hands towards the sky. "I will make you mine, Dialga! Palkia!"

"No, you won't."

Suddenly, a disembodied voice, Chris Pratt's voice, echoed through the air. 'Cyrus' looked up, both confused and petrified as two portals took form.

From each portal, a CGI monstrosity emerged. Completely unprompted by 'Cryus's' scheme, Chris Pratt Dialga and Seth Rogen Palkia entered the scene.

"What?!" 'Cyrus' screamed. "But I haven't even activated the red chains!"

"We knew of your schemes, mortal," Chris Pratt Dialga spoke. "Did you really think you could capture us gods?"

"We have come to punish you for your sins," Seth Rogen Palkia spoke. "Our judgment shall be passed. You shall cease to be."

Both Chirs Pratt Dialga and Seth Rogan Palkia opened their jaws. Light started to form in the center of their mouths, growing brighter and brighter. Then, they both shot beams of light from their throats that struck 'Cyrus' and the women.

When the beams of light faded, all that was left behind were the ashes of what used to be Galactic's boss and his two most trusted workers. The screen cut to the shocked faces of 'Cynthia' and 'Lucas' before fading to black.

The credits rolled.

* * *

"Okay, Reynold, I owe you an apology." Acerola stared at the now black screen, not blinking once. "That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Unless it was a comedy, then I've got to say it was pretty okay."

"Hilarious!" Bob was still laughing, wiping tears from his eyes. "Funniest comedy of the year! Ten out of ten!"

"Oh, no way! That movie was an insult to all movies!" Saki shouted.

"Are we not going to talk about the ending?! What was that ending?!" Sophocles said as he flailed its arms. "It was so abrupt! Did they run out of time to finish the script or something?!"

"I'm just glad it ended. My ears are still ringing from the music..." Lillie was covering her ears with her hands.

"Could you even call that music? No one was singing on key!" Kiawe cringed at the thought of the soundtrack.

"I'm sure the actors were trying their best but... yeah," Mallow sighed. "I don't know how the music made it past test screenings. Or... any of this made it past test screenings."

"It's no wonder this movie bombed..." Lana added.

"I'm... still struggling to understand everything I just saw." Ash's face contorted in deep thought. "Never has a movie confused me this much."

"I tried to warn you all." Reynold shook his head with pity. "This movie is a flaming piece of trash."

"Well, you learn something new every day, right?" Acerola forced a laugh. "Um, what did you think about the movie, Nanu? ...Um, Nanu?"

Everyone looked to Kukui's desk to see Nanu laying his head on top of it, eyes closed and drool dripping from his mouth. The Meowths who clung to him were all curled up beside him, joining him for a peaceful nap session.

Acerola couldn't help but smile at the sight. "Nanu wasn't made for teaching, was he?"

"Definitely not," Reynold said.