Velvet Crescent:

"She stuffs her hand in her pocket, glaring at her opponent that was scrambling to her feet. Her eyes fill with malice, with every bone of her body moving fluently to conquer her prey. A handgun clicks before the unarmed girl, the pointer finger curls around the trigger firmly without any trembling. Her palm holds the grip snugly, aiming the gun at the chest of her target.

What can I to do?

'This,' she starts, her voice harsh between her teeth. She takes a sharp intake of air and finishes, 'is for him.'

Who is this 'him?'

I can sense something deeper; the loathing of the shooter's eyes, those eyes as deadly as her ammunition. She longs to pull the trigger, serving some bout of justice.

I fling out from behind the cardboard box, my hand stretches out as if to catch the incoming bullet. Her eyes widen as she pulls the trigger, the gun jerking back as it fires.

Then, my vision cloaks in a bright white light."

Genre: Fanfiction, Romance

Velvet Crescent is one of my favorite books on Wattpad. From the first time I read it as a judge for the Pokémon Watty Awards, I was really impressed.

What I liked best about it was its realistic setting, which was so different from the types of worlds that I usually see, both in fanfic and in my real life. I've never lived in a city as large as Sheare's depiction of Goldenrod, but it was written so vividly that I almost felt as though I was actually visiting. The book captures not only the description of the city itself but also the people and the culture. At the same time, it explores some of the problems that are typically seen in these kinds of cities: gangs, drug use, troubled neighborhoods. We see diverse characters from different backgrounds who are all shaped by the city. That lent the story realism and depth of the kind that I really enjoy seeing.

Another plus is that the story is fairly well written. It has good descriptions and dialogue, a good balance of different elements, and is overall smooth enough to encourage continuous reading, especially after the plot starts kicking in. Many of the later chapters will truly make you want to binge read until you reach the end.

I would say that the book starts a little slowly, but, for me, the writing and the setting would have been enough to keep going even if I hadn't been required to read it all the way through. My biggest issue with the beginning is that we only see the main character's name one time initially and it doesn't reappear until fairly late in the story. Combined with the fact that it's an unusual name, this meant that, the first time I read the book, I forgot what her name was and it took some effort for me to recall it correctly. Actually, I now know that I was recalling it incorrectly because "Wiktoria" is actually meant to be an alternate spelling of "Victoria" and is pronounced with a "V" sound, not a "W" sound. It would have been very helpful to have some short passage of the book explain this near the beginning because I'm sure I wasn't the only reader thrown by this. Perhaps some other character could see it written somewhere, like on her luggage tag as they hand it to her coming off the train she's on at the beginning, and mispronounce it so she can correct them.

*Minor Spoilers*

I also liked the connection to Celebi that's a subtle part of the book. There isn't a lot of focus on Pokémon in this book, discounting the unbelievably adorable Lex the Mudkip, but, truly, the biggest plot element could never have happened without a legendary Pokémon. At least, that's the way that I interpreted it. I can't say for sure because Celebi is only ever mentioned briefly and it's never explicitly stated what Celebi's role is. Wiktoria comes to Goldenrod to go to Illex Forest, where she hopes to see it, but she never actually makes it there. I was disappointed that there wasn't any part of the book where she skips town to head into the forest, especially because I was never quite sure how the time mechanics were working. Does Wiktoria have special powers that she can control or has she gotten caught up in a loop that is controlled by Celebi? There's a big difference there, and it really matters because who controls the time manipulation determines what needs to be done. It also has the possibility to really change the interpretation of the ending.

One thing I did really love about the time mechanic, apart from the connection to Celebi, was the fact that it was done so creatively. I've seen this mechanic used multiple times before, so I recognized it as soon as I saw it. Other forms of media tend to get caught up in repeating the same sorts of things over and over, becoming boring and repetitive, but Velvet Crescent changed things up every time. There were significant differences in each time line, including focuses on different characters and, more importantly, further unraveling of the mystery that lies at the book's center. I was really surprised by how much I ended up enjoying what I would have expected to be a tired old device.

*Spoilers End*

Another thing I liked about the story were the characters. Each of the major ones had a distinct and complex personality that really shone through, from our thrill-seeking adrenaline junkie of a main character who went through major character development after moving to Hoenn to her childhood best friend who also developed in unexpected ways during her absence and everyone we get to know afterwards. Every one of them has distinct traits while also having an unexpected side, which both makes them seem that much more real and continues to keep the story interesting.

*Actual Spoilers*

I can't quite finish a review of this book without talking about Calavera, though. He was another character who I found to be very interesting and complex, but I had a couple of issues related to him. The first one was the question about why he would battle against the interests of his beloved little brother in one of the timelines. Even if he didn't think Zephira would actually kill him, it just didn't make sense to me and was never really given an explanation. At the very least, I would have thought that he wouldn't want his brother to get involved with the gang, which is what I thought Zephira's lie was?

The other issue is the obvious point to anyone who has read the book: the romance between him and Wiktoria. The first time I read the book, I really didn't get it. The book was entered in the romance category of the Pokémon Watties, so I was looking for romance. There wasn't any obvious love interest in the beginning. I had originally wondered whether it might be Blair, but that really didn't pan out. Later, I wondered whether the friendship between Wiki and Edina might develop into something more or maybe secretly was a little more the whole time for at least one of them. But nothing happened there, either. I saw Calavera as a scary sort of guy, definitely not the kind I would like to date, so I suppose I had difficulty understanding what Wiktoria might see in him.

As I reread the book for this review, it started to make more sense to me. Wiki enjoys living on the edge, and Calavera is exactly the kind of guy who can keep up with her. Or is she the one keeping up with him? They're both exciting and adventurous with a taste for thrills and a lack of fear, which makes them kind of perfect for each other. That makes enough sense for me to get it, but the problem was that I had to think about it.

The whole romance angle was presented in a way that was just too subtle. We're in a first person perspective, accompanied by the thoughts of the main character, but we really never get any indication that she's thinking about Calavera in a special way. We don't get commentary to indicate physical attraction. We don't hear about her heart pounding in reaction to something he says or does. We don't hear her thinking about him with special interest or with admiration of his good qualities or even with heightened concern when he's in danger. The only real exception, besides the ending, is the scene in which they dance, which I found to be subtle enough that it could almost be missed. There are also some hints scattered around, but they are also subtle, especially since one such hint is written in Spanish (which I understood but not every reader would!).

All of this together makes the ending seem unexpected, which is a shame since I see real potential for depth there. The choice that Wiktoria makes is really significant, and it could say a lot, both about her as a character and perhaps even about larger concepts like destiny or sacrifice or the corrupting influence of our corrupted world. It's a shame that I only got that effect the second time around because the first time I was confused by the romantic angle.

*Spoilers end*

On the technical side of things, this book was pretty good. The largest issue was the fact that the book is currently being converted into present tense, which meant inconsistency for now. Besides that, the parts that had been changed didn't read in a completely smooth present tense to me. There were some past tense verbs lingering here and there and some of the sentences used gerunds rather than the present tense form of the verb, which led to awkward sentence fragments.

The second biggest issue I saw was mistakes of the kind that won't be caught by spell check. Occasionally, there was an extra word thrown into a sentence, usually a little one like "a". Besides that, there were sometimes incorrect words used, like "rime stones" when the author meant "rhinestones". I also saw "figment" instead of "fragment", "split" instead of "spilt", "in tack" instead of "intact", and a few others like that. I also saw occasional issues with subject-verb agreement, especially with singular vs plural. Like many books on Wattpad, there were also some comma issues.

Overall, though, the book was above average in terms of errors. A person reading quickly might not even notice that there are any.

I'd also like to briefly mention that the book does have a number of swear words and references to mature subject matter like drugs and violence. This wasn't a problem for me, but it might be for younger readers, which is why it's great that the book starts out with a content warning.

Overall, I have to go back to my point from the beginning about how much I enjoy this book. It was a breath of fresh air for me, very original, very interesting, and certainly one of the better written Pokémon fanfics out there. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who can handle the slightly mature content.

8.5/10

Pokémon as a franchise lends itself to adventure. As such, a huge percentage of its fanfictions are fantasy adventures of some sort, leaving an audience of people who want to see something more unique; a Pokémon story that takes on an unusual genre and maybe uses mature themes. 'Velvet Crescent' is one of those stories, strangely managing to be appealing as a unique genre, but also showing why adventure is Pokémon's main calling.

Velvet Crescent follows the story of Wiktoria, a professor's assistant who returns to her home of Goldenrod City to take on some business in Ilex Forest. But, very soon after landing, she visits some nostalgic locations and winds up in a deep, very personal task involving a childhood friend and a new gang in the area. It's a drama thriller story with a lot of complexity and events revolving around gangs and miscreants, and, despite the fact that it involves time travel, it's all simple enough for anyone to understand.

The first thing I noticed when I started reading this was that the author knew what they were doing when they picked up the genre. You very quickly learn about the setting and the characters, as both flourish with focused descriptions and realistic dialogue and actions, which show off varied vocabulary and clarity. There are a few slowdowns with the pacing and some chapters being too short, but never anything that can really be openly complained at. You probably won't even notice if you get deep into the story like I did, which you probably will. It's just solidly written.

I definitely hold a lot of praise for the main character. I felt like Wiki (Wiktoria's nickname) was well developed and realistic, with very human reactions to many of the situations she faced. Even though she's strong, witty, and adventurous to a rebellious fault, she loses some battles, scratches her head to problems and even shows fear when it's natural. Her past is well established and explained at times when it is best mentioned; allowing you to really put yourself into her shoes and feel for her and all her encounters. Of all the characters, Wiki definitely felt like someone I got know in reality by the end of the book, which is an incredible achievement. She was the most human character I've ever read in a fanfiction.

But, therein lies the issue I have with the story, and why this review is so difficult for me to write. It's not a problem I have ever expected to come across while reading any fanfiction, and I feel especially bad seeing as this one is a Pokémon Watty Award winner. There's no fancy way to word it, so I'll just come out with it: Velvet Crescent didn't feel like a Pokémon fanfiction.

Now hear me out. This isn't in the way where it's so unique that it breaks norms and feels like a step forward for Pokémon. Despite the fact that the plot, setting, characters, and events are all well portrayed and executed the entire way through the story, the world and atmosphere generally stops feeling like Pokémon completely. The world established in the story starts to feel closer to something out of a typical TV soap opera or drama, and it's hard to say whether that's really a good or a bad thing.

I personally feel it's bad, but only because of the transition I felt when I noticed this issue. Early on in the story, we get mentions of things like Goldenrod's gym and the trainers lining up to battle in it, a local taking their Skitty for a daily walk, and even delve into Wiki's loveable companion, a chubby Mudkip called Lex. Lex fits in just fine, reacting to different characters and situations just as a Pokémon that doesn't battle would. At that, Lex's relationship with Wiki is just as colourful as the execution of Wiki herself, which made reading about them that much more fun.

But somewhere midway through the story, we start to lose this balance. Descriptions and events simply lack the Pokémon flavour; the parts that make you imagine things beyond your average urban landscape. Trainers don't seem to exist anywhere but the gym. The only wild Pokémon I recall being mentioned are Rattata and Pidgey, and they stop getting mentioned. Gangs don't even seem to have Pokémon themselves; not as companions that make up their members or even self-defence measures. They fight with guns, knives, and fists, just like any thug in real life would.

**SPOILER**The worst of this is during a confrontation with a gang member that was after Wiki for sneakily listening to one of their dirty deals. Wiki ends up fighting that thug on a bridge, and even gets her Mudkip to attack him with Water Gun to help out before getting knocked over the bridge and into a river. The following chapter, she's saved by another character, that character deals with her knife wound, and then they chat for a bit whilst Wiki rests. Lex completely disappears from these scenes, even though there's no mention of her returning to her pokéball or anything. Lex doesn't even try to help with the fact that Wiki can't swim, or even so much as frets over her when she's flat on the floor, half drowned after being rescued.

In fact, Lex disappears throughout that whole chapter, and the next one, all until the author remembered that this is a Pokémon fanfiction, and felt that one line of dialogue from the Mudkip was needed.**SPOILERS END** You'd think that a story that involves Celebi, gangs, and an adventurous professor's assistant would include some dramatically located, unusual but violent battles that resemble street fights or something. Instead, there are hardly any Pokémon battles in the whole book, and when there are, they're surprisingly unremarkable and not nearly as detailed as the other fights or action sequences in the story. One of these battles is even very decisive in regards to the plot, and yet, when I read it, it felt like it was just... there, there for the sake of making sure the story fits the requirements of a Pokémon fanfiction.

The attention to the Pokémon themselves, Pokémon related topics and terms, and even the few existing official characters that get used in the story, are very minimal in Velvet Crescent. The way the story is written, I feel like most of it is forgotten about until it's been a while that a Pokémon related topic has been mentioned, and when it is, it's shafted aside with very little attention. Most of the talented writing went towards making this world resemble your home city's local shady street, dark alleyways and all.

Now don't get me wrong. Velvet Crescent is certainly gripping, entertaining, and praiseworthy in many of the aspects that matter. The spelling and grammar is near to perfect, requiring little editing. As mentioned before, the characters, story, and world are as realistic and complex as they need to be. The little banners at the top of each chapter are neat. The plot twists are cool. Character motives are solid. Chapter length is fine for Wattpad. Actually, I still largely enjoyed it – there really isn't anything glaringly wrong with the story other than how weak it is in establishing its Pokémon world.

... Except the ending. I'm trying my hardest not to spoil anything here. I absolutely hated the ending. The final chapter was the only time during the story that all its quality went out of the window, being replaced for mushiness for little reason other than fan service, from what I could tell. Not only did the ending seem very abrupt, it didn't make any sense at all, dropped that delicate realism I felt that the characters had, and failed to conclude everything that needed concluding after the climax. I felt like I spent thirty-two chapters engaging in an intense plot I couldn't predict, just to have every last bit of it shoved aside for the sake of some not only unnecessary, but exceedingly forced romance that made my whole face churn. I've never been this devastated by the ending of a story before, so it really hurt to read such a severe drop in quality.

Some people will accept this ending and leave the story at that. I won't, purely because Velvet Crescent has already proved that it can be so much more. It's so close – oh so very close to being a story I can say I liked. But the terrible ending just hurt that much.

+Lex's character is a real breath of fresh air, and I'd have definitely liked to have seen more of her.

+The plot and its execution are one of a kind. You won't find another story like it for the next continent over.

+Wiktoria is definitely one of the best characters I have ever read, comparing to well established and published books.

-The shipping in this story, although minimal, really spoilt the tone and ruined the ending. It just didn't fit, make sense, or feel necessary.

-Pokémon and related things definitely needed a bigger presence. With it, the flavour can really be bolstered.

-Gym leader Whitney felt a little too similar to the other characters here...

-Pokémon battles felt very lazily imagined compared to the rest of the book, even the human fight scenes. Some deeper descriptions, use of in-game mechanics, Pokémon anatomy or something could really spice these up and make them even a little more exciting.

Now I'm going to do something very strange here.

OVERALL SCORES

5.5/10 AND 8.5/10

Velvet Crescent gets two scores from me because I earnestly cannot decide what I really think of it on a mutual ground. As a Pokémon fanfiction, it's missing far too much of Pokémon's magic for me to really feel at home with it as a story I'm happy to have experienced. I feel like it's a book that shows exactly why Pokémon lends itself to the adventure genre – it just doesn't work if it strays too far. If it's just any old story with Pokémon slapped in to make it fit into the fanfiction genre, I don't think it deserves praise. If it isn't going to at least have some aspects Pokémon fans like about Pokémon somewhere in it, it shouldn't be a Pokémon fanfiction.

Since that's the only real problem with the fanfiction, I decided to think and rate it a second time, removing the Pokémon aspects and replacing them for more 'realistic' ones (Lex is now a chubby peacock called Calix). The turnout was a far higher score, where I subtracted points purely for the ending and the minor edits that could be made, like the little spelling and grammar hiccups. 'Velvet Crescent' just works and shines so much better when it isn't dealing with Pokémon battles or characters that want to go on a Pokémon journey – that's just the author's strength. If this were a general fiction book, I feel like it could hit the shelves. So go read it now, while it's free to do so.

Velvet Crescent is a book about young girl named Wiktoria who visits Goldenrod City, her hometown, after completely changing as a person. Her former self was a troublesome delinquent involved with gangs, but the changed Wiktoria has much more self-control and is able to reflect on the things she had done wrong. And while the city has remained the same as she had remembered, the actual people that Wiktoria had known years ago have drastically changed from the people she once knew them as. Long story short: this book has a whole bunch of topsy turvy time-travel drama and action and is by far one of the most exciting fanfictions I've ever read.

The plot started out with a slow introduction of Wiktoria as she is shown talking on the phone with her mother. You can already get a feel of her soon-to-be-even-more-interesting personality. She arrives at Goldenrod, gets off the train, and the nostalgia immediately compels her to recall her past self in contrast to her present self, one that very much stood out from the rest of the present city crowd. Not only will you get a good chuckle on Wiki's old stories, but the descriptions of the city are amazingly beautiful and wonderfully written--I can't emphasize that enough. I was visiting my grandparents up in New York this summer and the way the author portrayed Goldenrod City was so, so accurate with city setting in terms of all the sights, the smells, and the sounds. Any reader would already feel as though they were standing next to our main character within the first chapter. The main themes introduced are completely fresh; it's really not everyday that you pick up a Pokémon Fanfiction that portrays realistic gang activity and other darker themes.

We get a couple chapters following the first that introduces some more characters who will play prominent roles later on: Edina, her childhood friend, Blair, Edina's step brother. and Calvera (who is my favorite character by the way) whom the all-too-daring Wiktoria encounters after she boldly decides to provoke some gangs with sheer sarcasm. Not only was this whole scene one of the funniest parts in the book, the chasing played out like an action movie in my head, which was very satisfying.

Then Wiktoria witnesses an attempted murder on a girl named Zephira, rushes to save her, and in that moment, a white light blinds her and bam! She's taken back in time to the time when she first arrived at Goldenrod (The author doesn't literally go to state this, but the descriptions are more than enough for you to get the context).

While descriptive, the whole buildup to this point felt really slow and lagging because of some side-tracking descriptions that were a bit redundant. But once the action packed-events started happening one after another, I was zipping through the book past chapter eight because the story's a real page-turner from there.

I did feel that some parts could've slowed down a bit more/ be reintroduced in later parts of book to play a more significant role to the story. Edina's confession to being gay primarily being one and Zephira's huge backstory reveal shortly before she died.

In a nutshell: Wiki "relives" the same day again and again to try and set things right, but with the complexity of each of the characters' entwined backstories and relations and grudges, things don't really go smoothly in the end because *SPOILERS* Zephira is revealed to be a madly evil traitor girl. She gets killed, but Wiktoria and Calvera cover it up for the sake of everyone else. Then Wiktoria ends up with Calvera and the story ends with an incredibly sweet happily ever after; honestly now, all the cute moments in the entire second half of that book that led up to that point really makes the canon ship sail strong. *Spoilers End*

The whole story--from beginning to end--was essentially a giant mystery puzzle. Once the pieces come together and start fitting into place, the aha moments of why the characters behaved the way did will build up excitement to find out even more. All the characters were multi-layered, kind of like a fresh onion. Just when you think you knew/could predict a character well enough, the author will surprise you with yet another layer as you continue on with the story.

One thing about the story that I really wondered about even to the end of the story was the origin of Wiktoria's weird power? *Spoiler* So her time traveling just stopped perfectly at Zephira getting killed--for the best--why? I expected the story to expose more of Celebi, which was lightly hinted in the beginning but then never introduced again for the later parts. I think it's fine to leave this as a mystery, but not with the ending that was given. It just didn't feel complete given that the spotlight was only on Wiktoria and Calavera and the rest of cast was just "going-to-be-okay." Don't get me wrong though; I still ship them hard. I just wish the other characters would get some more attention in the end. *Spoiler Ends*

Besides that, there were a couple of typos, but none too distracting. In the particular battle with Zephira, there was some switching to referring the Scizor as "it" versus "he."

But overall, the story was fantastic aside from minor errors. There's an original plot, great characters, and the humor and romance incorporated done nicely. I'd definitely recommend this Fanfic.

8/10

Positives:

I really loved the description in the book! Your descriptive style is really good, and I loved just reading the setting descriptions.

The concept was unlike anything I'd ever read in a Pokemon fanfiction. The obscurity of the title and description left curious, and figuring out what this story was about was very fun.

I loved Wiktoria's character. I loved watching her return to her old self, despite her new, Hoenn-bent appearance. By the end of it, it felt like she had never left Goldenrod in the first place, and I loved that.

Negatives:

Having the description the same as chapter zero feels awkward. I like the vagueness of the description, however, if anything, I'd say chapter zero is unnecessary.

This is more of a pet peeve, but why was this categorized as romance? From my eyes, romance was far from the main focus; there was mention of two people and one kiss in the last chapter. This feels like it should be in miscellaneous, if anything.

*SPOILERS*

I was extremely confused the first time Wiki turned back time, and that confusion didn't go away until she reset again. She seemed disoriented the first time she time traveled, which made it seem like she was in a weird coma dream or something along those lines. It took away from the story somewhat because everything that happened was clouded by that confusion until she traveled back a second time.

Going off of that, why did Wiki and Calavera kiss after only one day of knowing each other? Calavera does not seem to be the type of person to bond to someone that quickly, even if they did open up to each other throughout the day. I could understand them bonding that quickly, but them kissing felt too abrupt. I don't feel like the book really needed it; suggesting at the end that they eventually wound up kissing or dating would be better in my opinion.

The ending overall felt anticlimactic and weak. How did Wiki blow off the fact that she had to lie to her best friend about her girlfriend's death so quickly? How did they burn the body without people freaking out from the fire? Even if people couldn't see it, I feel someone would have smelled it and tried to find the source or called 911 to be safe. The city is so large that there is a larger than normal chance of something along those lines happening. The book was amazing, but everything starting after Wiki fired the gun was weak.

*END SPOILERS*

It was honestly really hard to find significant negatives in this book. There weren't many small errors I could pick out, and the plot itself was solid. It was a nice break to have a book I enjoyed fully, but I definitely didn't want to write this without any negatives.

OVERALL: 8.5/10

***

Credits: Article written by d_s_t_e

Reviews by d_s_t_e , SGmijumaru , NaivEevee , Pumpknhead

Special thanks to Sheare for giving us permission to do this review and post a discussion chapter! 

Thanks also to all of those who participated in the discussion, especially ArtisanSide , Cupcakerzz , and Freelywings . We really appreciate all the thoughtful comments, and we'll be trying this out for our next book as well. Feel free to read along with us if you'd like.

The interview with Sheare will hopefully be posted within a week or so.